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Hi everyone.

I had a very good session with my therapist today. My son's car engine did not jam up as feared. The alternator died and it was over three years old and about 45,000 miles. That was a major relief. Not only did the tow not cost him some unreasonable rate but the repair sent someone to go by and pick up the keys from my son on campus so they could get to work on the car today. They also picked him up to get him back to his car today. A rebuilt alternator and labor was less than I can get the same job done here for.

My wife and I went out of town for the evening which was nice. I do hope to sleep well tonight. However, I do not have anyway to spend the night sleeping in my 'man cave'.

The roof repairs, I hope are done tomorrow for rain is in the forecast again for Thursday.

Love, hugs, and prayers for everyone to have a good evening.
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Stormy: happy birthday to your mom.
Our parents will always be a part of our lives.
{{{hugs}}} across the miles
SDPeg
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evening all.........still getting rain..........and the pond actually has a little more water so I think the fish might not drown! yippee!!!!!!!! Yes, you are right ladies, it was a toss-up.....pillow, pond, pillow, pond, decisions decisions...............

Ro......I saw on the news that Berlisconi (sp?) is going to resign......what impact is that going to have? Keep us posted on the "inside" scoop. Hope you are doing well today. And Mother also of course.

ladee........I'm sure glad you have finally admitted to being a heathen.....was going to talk to you about that.....:) so sorry you have to work so early tomorrow. Guess that means you will be sleeping for most of Saturday?

seeme.....another baby.....babies are so wonderful, especially when they belong to someone else. I love to spoil them totally rotten and then send them home. And be careful with the bleach please.....:)

TPeg......it's perfectly permissible for you to keep that snow all to yourself. I am so not looking forward to it this year. Last year was a nightmare....we hadn't had that much snow in a very long time. Right now it's in the middle 40's and I don't think it will get much lower than that. Supposed to warm back up to the 60's by the weekend.

Finally got through to the col........I still haven't figured out what she did with her phone to make it go straight to voice mail. She has a raging upper resp infection, don't know if it's virus but probably is, will just have to watch her that it doesn't go into pneumonia. Target said she was really talking off the wall tonight.....wanted him to sing to her! And not making a lot of sense. Will see tomorrow.

Hope everyone is having a good evening............

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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Hey everyone, I hope all of you are doing well. Not much to report on this end just the same stuff. Dad did have his swallow study done the other day. They gave him pudding, ice cream things like that to swallow. The only thing they said was that it looked like he did ok on the swallow study. But they are suppose to send a report to his dr that ordered it. Then tuesday dad goes to the lung dr. and we never found out what he determined about the ct and pet scan report that he read over a month ago. So maybe we will find out something then. I doubt it.
Well, tomorrow is my mom's birthday she would have been 80 years old had she lived. She has been gone for 7 years 6 months. I miss her so much and i wish that she was here with us. I lost my best friend when i lost her... I wish ya'll could have met her. She was the sweetest lady, and always had a smile on her face.
Happy Birthday Mama! I love and miss you!!!!! Stormy
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Got another Great Niece (or is it Grand Niece) a couple of hours ago. A healthy 8 lbs. The twind are still in the hospital and will be for at least another 5 days....one maybe more.

Been doing homemaker things to prepare for MIL stay on Sunday....she'll only be here a couple of days, but I needed to shampoo carpets, etc.

Ro, sounds like the Italian government is having its problems and it wants YOU and your MOM to fix it. So sorry for your troubles......and the government's problems.

Cmag.....go to the man-cave and don't come out until you have slept for 6 hrs in a row.....

Jam....hope the fish don't drown........crap, it wasn't the fish we had to worry about........oops, I meant pingo........

Ladee....write a book if that's what it takes.......

Stormy.....my hubby has all kinds of skin cancer from working on the flight line in the AF. What your brother has is not bad if he gets checked out. Hubby has places now that will bleed and a little piece is taken out and then he waits for the next place to show up. No great big biggie. Yes, it could eventually kill him if he lived long enough, but it isn't like melanoma where he has a spot on his leg and it goes to his brain..........

I can't remember thing else,,,,guess I had too much blond put in my hair today and I am having a moment.......just know I am keeping up with you all.....take care........
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hey gang not much to say today, Its a quiet very slow day slept most of the day with mom as neither of us were in the mood to do much. She's enjoying her candles and I am enjoying just listening to her talk. I had my head laying on the couch arm rest she reached over and started to stroke my hair. My colds still bugging me but I am doing better. My idiot low life scum nephew called today which is why I am a bit blech he asked if we were going to be home Saturday (here we go again) I am not telling her unless hes right outside. Anyway he wants to know cause he and his mother *my idiot sister* want to talk to mom and I about Christmas. We aren't going to their house so they can dang well forget that. Plans already been set for the holiday we are going to my sister Kathy's. Sis Kathy told mom that after Thanksgiving her and mom and I were going to the mall again for shopping. YAY I love going to the mall even when I don't have the money to shop lol Have the Santa's Vendor Workshop on the 19th with lots of ideas to do. Maybe having Santa there to take pictures with the kids. We will see.
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Ok, will try this again....
CMag, sorry to hear about sons car, hope it is something simple..... sounds like the staff at the NH has your mom figured out.... and always try to remember, it is HER anger, she had that anger before you were born...... you are doing so great, just keep up the good work, and write some poetry.... still writing letter to son, this is taking longer than I expected... too many feelings coming up.... but am still moving forward....
bee, so happy to hear you will get your sclera lens, I will have to look that up, I don't even know what it is, but glad you are getting it...
vic, yes I am a heathen and did you notice how I spelled patience , PATIENE, so apparently I am also an uneducated heathen.... but I love you anyway.... sorry to hear dad is not feeling well, how old is he???
Jam, well after everything you have been thru in the past few years, the last thing you need is dead fish in the pond.... Oh wait, wasn't that pond to be used for something else????? I may need to go back and read on another thread what that was all about... hmmmmmm
TPeg, know you have been waiting for snow... none in your yard yet, but at least you can see it....
Ro, there are so many elders that had so much to teach us about perseverance, strength in hard times, share their wisdom, and Alz got to them first..... what a waste...... maybe we need to start putting things down for others to read, in case we don't get to tell them ourself..... I hate alz... hate it..
Have to be at work by 6am tomorrow, going to be a long day, will get caudht up tomorrow...
I love you seeme sue, and miss you...... hugs across the miles to everyone.....
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Carolyn congrats for a problem solved!
Hearing aids: I don't know any person who likes to wear them. My grandmother (who had no Alz no dementia at all) refused to wear them all life long, and she died at 86 forcing everyone to scream so that she could hear. And you are right, Peg, the generation of our parents is an "iron" generation. Most of them went to war, many of them had a hard life, they had a tough upbringing (I mean that their parents didn't spoil them, rather the contrary) and our parents in general think that "we" are a spoiled, weak, spineless generation. As a matter of fact I like their pride even if it is so difficult to take care about them.
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Oh Peggy in Tucson... must go with the name ... that squeeling is horrible to me as well. I just cannot be in the same room. I just do not understand how people tolerate that sound ... or any sound that sends me out of the room instantly!!! Never knew I could move so fast!!!
Snow...well we had hail in San Diego on Friday ... hopefully that's the closest we will come to white stuff!
See ya Peg in Tucson!!! and everyone else!!!
SDPeg
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Hello Everyone, I have only read this page of posts. Carolyn it is great to read your approved for the sclera lens, yippee.
My 2 cents on hearing aids- F-i-L had hearing test last monday. He has always said his right ear was better. Test says not so, he is actually in the profound loss range. His left ear is better, but not by a lot of difference on the chart. It will be nice for hm to hear without having to turn his "miracle ears" on high. I have sensitive ears, and that squeeling has been like nails on chaulk board. Also the cats will be delighted to not hear the squeel too. The Audio specialist, said the right ear was so loose and fitted so poorly, it was not working correctly and the extra space can add to the feedback squeel. Also even with them on, we have to raise our voice level and repete our selves about 4 times before he comprehends.
I'm happy to share with everyone, that I can see Snow, so it is winter here in Tucson too. Mt Lemmon is over 10,000 ft and it snowed there. I can see it from my couch, it is beautiful.
Hugs to all, your all great caregivers, and keep me entertained and secure in the knowledge that if I need advice, all I have to do is ask.
Peggy in Tucson
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Just a quick note: I see that the generation before us (us meaning those in 50s and 60s right now) was the generation (octogenarians and older) that does not like to ask for help. I wonder if this is historically based as that generation had so many rations and poor times during WWII that it makes sense it would be "embarrasing" to ask. I witness this a lot. Just thinking aloud this morning. Food for thought. SDPeg
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Jam, when I told my dad about mom saying they (the nursing home) did not want her to walk because she might fall. His reply was "she always blamed others for what went wrong." Well, come to think about her life as a whole, he is right. I think there is more here than just dementia, but the dementia does not help. Like one of the PTs told me, you mom likes to be begged into accepting help. They don't have time for games like that.
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Cmag.....do you think that ignoring is how your mother and the col have decided to cope with what they don't like? We were noticing a trend with the col when she didn't like what we were saying, she would turn her head and look away from us, then come right back at us as though we had never said a word. It is still so fascinating to me how the dementia mind works.....it is telling them they are perfectly capable of doing whatever they want, but then to actually apply that is beyond them. A couple of days before the col fell I was walking with her to the bathroom and some commercial came on and she let go of the walker and started to dance and wiggle her butt and shake her hands around.........oh Lord, visions of hip fx! We're still not convinced she didn't have some type of frontal lobe stroke that caused her bizarre behavior and fall. Very rare, but possible.
I hope the car problem is simple and an easy repair. Have you ever noticed the car trolls and other appliance trolls seem to get more active at holiday time? Little devils..............................
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Good Morning Posse!

So many with good news today....wonderful!

Bee............what a terrific early Christmas gift for you!
SDPeg......for some reason, those new-fangled hearing aids just seem to defy logic in the elderly. The col hated hers when she first got them......of course she denied she even needed them. Sometimes her batteries lasted 8 days, sometimes 5, confusing for me...........hmmm is she "hearing" more on the 5 days....lol So I started asking....her's play a little tune when the batteries start going dead......"oh, yes I heard the music yesterday" or something to that effect. So I started checking closely, she was putting the batteries in backwards, or sometimes just wasn't aware they had gone dead and was turning the volume of the tv up and I was having to yell to be heard.....Target would look at me and say "batteries dead again".....oops, I think so. Or the microscopic filters would become clogged with wax and that was something she never changed. So I just took over the job. She can't hear us at all now, but I think that's because she has turned the volume down on her phone, will check that tomorrow when we go see her.

Still raining, the pump is gushing water into the pond, so maybe we won't lose all the fish. We've had catfish, blue gill and minnows and then last year there was enough water to put in hybrid bass. This year they are huge and we told people to start fishing it when the water got to "fish are going to die" level, my son says those are the best tasting bass he has ever had. Well, catch and clean a couple for your poor old mother.....lol. If we can get the water up another foot, they might survive the winter.

Got the RV covered Sunday.....CMag I used your idea of dryer sheets and mothballs in it, will let you know how it works. If nothing else it will smell like flowery mothballs.....lol.

Time to finish coffee and then do a few things around the house today.....with the rain I have to stay inside. Target has a turkey boob on the smoker, so I know dinner is going to be yummy............

Hope everyone has a wonderful day and will check back in later,

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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Ah, Peg. I wish my Mom would admit she doesn't hear very well. Noooo. She constantly criticises me for "mumbling".
My husband is deaf in his right ear due to a tumor which, when removed, took his auditory nerve with it. Mom frequently complains that he never answers her. DUH! He's been deaf for years....oh, I forgot, she can't remember.

Now, as for some other thoughts, especially pertaining to the holidays. I noted some financial worries about Thanksgiving. Well, I think it's possible to have a day to be grateful without spending a fortune on food. While I really like having a bird in the oven, it's possible to be grateful with a humble meatloaf bringing wonderful aromas into the kitchen.
How about a turkey loaf made with herb stuffing instead of bread crumbs (or a side of stuffing made with day old bread). Add some cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes and gravy made with turkey broth (or canned). A pudding isn't too expensive and can be a pleasant, satisfying dessert.
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Carolyn, that's great news. I am happy for you.
Mom "washes" hearing aids under stream of running water. Don't know why she cannot understand "no water" policy when it comes to those. Caregiver took her to Miracle Ear yesterday, hearing aid back in for repair again. I refuse to "yell" or move closer to her so she can hear me. I maintain my same volume and if she needs to move towards me to hear me, then that's what she is going to have to do. I used to go hoarse trying to tell her things. Now I just speak in a normal tone. I feel if she is that interested in hearing me, she will wear the darn things and take care of them the way they should be taken care of. I knew something was wrong as she was wearing them but said she couldn't hear. NO kidding!!!? The battery was rusting due to the water. Brother told her saliva was ok. Tech said NO. But mom said she knew not to use saliva but no one told her not to use water. I wanted to say "no one told you to use water either" but then realized that statement would fall on deafened ears. Sorry, just had to use that pun!!!
Hope all have a great day.
SDPeg
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Morning morning.. Happy happy for you Bee!
Brandy..my thoughts will be with you. I get bummed out during holidays.. Just have to fight the feelings. Try to keep busy and force yourself to find the joy in each day
Cmag..sorry about mom focused on getting out..hopefully you all can get her busy with pt.
Jam..hope meeting goes well... Col will love collage
Shawna..glad mom is good! Woohoo
Ladee you lost posts on purpose just so you could be a frustrated heathen! Heehee...hope you have a great day.
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Good morning all! The holidays are, as noted, fast approaching. I am pleased to say I received, I'm calling it a gift, this morning. The insurance company gave pre autorization for my sclera lens yesterday which means by next month I should be able to read without magnifiers and maybe even renew my drivers license ~ Woo hoo!! I may get my life back yet.
I have to go through and try to read some more posts but I was so excited that I had to share this with all of you!
Carolyn
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Just lost this long post addressing everyone,,,, hope this crap gets fixed soon.... I do not have the extra patiene for it right now....
So, will try again this evening......have to be at work early this morning... love ya all, later...
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Jam, I do not believe mom's mind is at the point where she will forget her anger. She wants out. She wanted to go shopping Sat. and wants to go Friday. It is as if she did not hear a word the social worker told her about increasing mobility before going home which includes before going out for a trip to shop. My step-dad also said that today provided mom a chance to vent her feelings which was good.

I slept for about two hours and can't go back to sleep right now. Our youngest son is out of state in college and his used car broke down in a parking lot yesterday, late in the day. He had it towed to a garage and the person driving the tow truck was nice enough to take him back to campus. I sure hope it can be fixed without costing too much or we will have to get him another, but younger used car. The car just died on him and will not crank back up. What a mess!
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Oh Brandy I hadn't understood. At least your mother has been invited! Well that's something. You will know that she is well and you won't worry about her. That's not entirely bad, after all!
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tried posting and lost it - my own doing - too tired now, so will do better tomorrow
no moose - I am thankful this week - Gary was up half of last night and isn't home yet - some incident out at the plants - and his back pack was stolen from his truck -lots of hunting gear in it - rangefinder, knives etc - leaving some supper out for him and heading to bed - loads and loads of laundry done, italian sausage and pasta made, rice pudding made, bed changed, some area rugs shaken outside ... maybe I am getting some energy back - nite all - ttyl
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Yeah .that is a good idea Brandy this year we usually go to my sister Kathy's for Thanskgiving I just did NOT want to do that this year. Too much hassel too much grief. So I am making it at home .... just mom and I at first. Then my sis Jeanne is coming now with her friend and her daughter two grandkids and a friend so ... its going to be a niceeeee day.
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Bee....I'm still here, but there are several we haven't heard from....hmmmmm!
brandy.....gee, sis comes and gets Mom but leaves you and hubby. Just make sure you have food in the house to prepare a meal for you and your husband and then take advantage of one less dementia person to care for. Just enjoy the quiet time with your husband. Or you said you have a few friends....would they be receptive to coming to your house for dinner? Try potluck. Doesn't have to be traditional meals, just sharing friendship is the important thing.
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Stormy I am so sorry for this new problem in your life. I hope Connor's party is Ok and you have a pleasant day. I know you are strong and you can deal with all of this, but of course I hope in better days for you (and for me and everyone else of course)
Brandy... I am so sorry for you, too. We don't have Thanksgiving in Italy but sure we have Christmas, and it is so sad when the rest of the family doesn't invite you because your mother has Alzheimer! Try to have a pleasant day anyway. I am sure you will find a decent way to spend the day!
Ladee, I went to the wrong office today. I am going to another one tomorrow and I shall try to have some explanations about what happened, and how much money they will take from us in December. I am afraid it will be a lot of money. You can't fight with the government.
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hey all today was a very good day. It was actually nice not too cold. Mom had her doctor appointment and we went grocery shopping with my sister. Yeah she had comments about the house well its clean enough for mom and I so THERE. Anyway Doc says she is doing good looks good eats good blood sugar and BP is good. No problems with breathing and her weight is just right. He says she looks very good and gave me a hug and said I was doing a good job .. taht if it weren't for me she wouldn't be here and I take good care of her. He does this each time we see him (which is every three months) He's taken to doing it a lot because of the problems we had with the nurses last December. He dont and I don't want them in my house PERIOD. I don't trust them I don't like them and that's it. He even had it out with them last Dec for trying to accuse me of abusing my mother... he was pretty mad. Anyway he says she'd doing good ... Had her checked for UTI before we came all clear there. I keep her drinking cranberry juice it helps A LOT! I don't like the taste because it does send my throat to burning but I will drink a glass ocassionaly to help. Got lots of groceries told sister to stuf it when she made comment about our freezer chest. Well we need it its easier this way I can stock up and not worry. Well working on designs for the 19th not sure how we are doing this .. she wants me to have some cash and carry stuff and stuff to make orders so we will see. Going to see Austin Sunday can't wait....
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Not doing all that great today. I hate the holidays. My husband who has dementia and my mother who has dementia cause me problems. My sibling won't invite me and husband over and she takes Mom so then we are left to my own devices to find someone to have the holidays with. We have few friends and relatives live far away. We are too poor and disabled to go very far to a dinner. I am disabled from a car accident. We live in the middle of nowhere. My favorite day is December 26. Any suggestions?
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Hi all. A rough day here. Mom's denial is so very hard to deal with but ....I can;t fix everything, can I? I have to deal with some business matters for Mom and she is making it impossible. I feel a bit like others, not much to say tonight. Just glad the day is over.

On of my neighbors sends me "Fwd"s on a regular basis. I thought I'd share this one with all of you:

The Farmer's Almanac is predicting a very cold winter.
It must be true because the squirrels are gathering NUTS.
Three of my friends have disappeared.
Are you O.K.?

Nite all. Get some sleep! Carolyn
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Cmag.....I am so glad to hear that your step-sister is taking such an active role, makes your mind rest easier I'm sure. Is your mother's mind in a place where she will forget her anger? So many times I had the col blow up on me, call me every name in the book, and then 10 min later she was gushing over me about how good I was to her and took such good care of her. Maybe with your mom seeing the passage of time in such an unrealistic way, she will continue as she is without knowing how much time has really passed. That's what I am hoping for the col. She called us last night at her dinner time and we kept trying to tell her she was missing her dinner, and she insisted she had just eaten 2 hours earlier. We finally got her off the phone and called the nh and had someone go get her, apparently she had just walked to her room instead of going on into the dining room. Sometimes I think a loss of time might not be such a bad thing.....lol.
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Jam, my dad and his wife live about a 7 hour drive away from me. Her daughter and son in law who is helping them a lot. All, I can do is support my dad from the sidelines. He's already planning his funeral eulogy by having my step-sister make a movie from 150 slides about his life. I did have medical POA for my dad, but a few years ago, he decided to give it to my step-sister who lives there. She is also the durable POA and the executrix of their estate which upon both of their deaths will be split 1/2 for me and the other 1/2 for my two step-siblings.

I think we are in for a long road with my mother given her poor memory and poor track record for working with PT. She's going to get angry at the staff and probably get angry with me for not being able to get her out of there. I think my step-dad is seeing reality, but I don't know how he will react to her anger.
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