Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
Vic.....just hold on a little while.........after ladee has a very short nervous breakdown, she's picking me up and we will just hop over and get you and we'll all go see Rossella............sounds like a plan to me, unless ladee makes it a long breakdown............you know how she can be............she knows I love her!
(1)
Report

Let's try this again..................

Cmag.....as I previously stated, I'm glad the roof is on.....less noise to ruin your day. You sound happier and for that I'm glad. I hope you get the insurance straightened out for your mother. You would think they would have been informed of a name change but too often those "little" things get overlooked.

ladee........I'll have my bags packed and standing on the corner when you win the lottery....just make it a short nervous breakdown please....I don't want to wait long for my ride...........oh, did I mention that I'm going to Italy with you to see Rossella?
I made a custard type ice cream this time, chilled it for 24 hours then popped it in the ice cream freezer...within 2 min it was rock solid and just sat and spun....had to have Target help me dig it out.....chocolate with walnuts and almond flavoring.....yummmmmmmmm
Jo.........this ice cream is your fault ya know.....and I love you for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And here I've dropped 10lbs and eating ice cream....but homemade has no calories, right? And it's good for me because chocolate is a food group.....:) I loved seeing the pics of Gordie's bench.........how wonderful for you to see that and thoughtful for someone to do it.
SDPeg.......good luck with getting all your "homework" done. I'm sure you are looking forward to your break. And so glad to hear that mom's antidepressant is kicking in. Sometimes it takes a month or maybe two before you really start to see differences. And her appetite is probably going to increase also.
Bee....Carol.....I wish it was easier for you to get your mom to accept help. We were in your situation 2 yrs ago and finally had to just say "this is the way it's going to be", the decision is no longer yours. We had her sign a POA 6 yrs ago, so she really didn't have much choice when it finally got so bad that she couldn't care for herself. The deciding point was when she fell off her back porch, 4 ft onto rocks, cracked the back of her head open and when she fell she landed on her left side wedged between a large rock and the hardened stem of some plant that would have impaled her if she had fallen flat. She was so depressed that she started drinking and then couldn't make it up the stairs to her bathroom. Needless to say, you can imagine the shape her house was in. It took $4000 and 3 men to strip the inside of her house when we finally got her moved 2 yrs ago. But it had to be done. Now, we are at the next step.
I'm using the excuse right now that I have a headache, darn herniated discs, and won't try to mention everyone by name............but just remember that I am the "Mother Hen" and yes, I read everything from each and every one of you and you all are included in my daily prayers while this wagon train is still plodding along........

Love and Hugz to all of you,
Jam
(1)
Report

well...dad is not having a very good day and I guess I lose patience to easy... he had a really hard time standing and wanted to drop like a floppy doll. I asked him if he really wanted to continue pt and he said yes. So maybe it is just me trying to get him to put into practice what he is working on. ...it is cold and cloudy..a blah day here so who knows. all I want to do is run away...to where I don't know but that wont change anything...so I have gotten a better attitude.
I finally resent my brother the text about when he is coming...he said he saw it and forgot. he said the would be here thanksgiving...DUH!!! .... well it got worse as my sweet mom frets about change. she wants to see my brother and her gkids and ggkids but is afraid of one of the kids running and her falling oh...they are supposed to bring a cat! well mom loves animals but she is afraid that she may step on it and trip.. poor lady she was half in tears yesterday with worry. I did what I could to ease her mind ... today she seems better but who knows. I did tell my brother that he needs to remember she is this way and that it is not always best to tell her things so far ahead. finally got out of him he may be here wed nite and leave early Sunday... and you bet I am going to run!!! i don't care if it is to a hotel in town. oh well....enough said. what happens or doesn't happen happens! one day at a time right! my main concern is for my parents and trying to take care of myself. get so emotional sometimes... thanks all for being here and loving me just as I am!
You are all in my prayers each and every day.
(0)
Report

Sometimes this site is unbelievable.........
(0)
Report

Good Afternoon Posse!

Checking in to see how everyone is doing today and hoping it's been good.
We went to visit with the col this morning and took her doggie to see her. Yes, he was happy to see her and jumped into her lap, then laid down on the floor and decided it was nap time. She doesn't want us to bring any pictures to put on her walls as that will just be too much to carry when she is released. We will just deal with that daily when she asks......this will be the only time in history that a month may equal years.....lol. She is happy and being cooperative, today was PT, and she seems to be doing better with her walker.

CMag..........glad your roof is on
(0)
Report

Carolyn, I don't know the story of your mother. My mother asks me all the time if we are going to have family for dinner. She is always disappointed when I tell her that it's just the two of us. Well, my mother had 4 siblings. And in the house where she lived (a huge one) lived 3 uncles/aunts as well. So, there were minimum 10 people at the table, her parents included. And my mother said that there were always friends for dinner, so they easily arrived to 15 people. And this happened every single night (this was normal in Italy before WW2). So, as she is living in her childhood, I understand very well why she doesn't understand why we are just 2!
(1)
Report

Hey gang ... everything is going okay with mom. Though our day out's been canceled and its my own fault. The cold I got is kicking my behind and I have to go watch my grand nephew today while his mom goes to the cheerleading game. that's okay cause the cold outside is just a bit much for me right now so I am gonna take mom out tomorrow. Some good news is I got my dishwasher working agian just have to do another cycle through it and it should be working good as new yay. Holiday's coming up I might be taking a paper or such up to Postnet a place that is a printing company up here my friend runs. She said if I am doing anything like mugs and such she would refer her customers to me (instead of Walmart) since its a conglomorate and I am small business. Also my stuff is a lot more fancy and unique than what Walmart does. IF I do say so myself lol. The more orders I get the better. I got some Christmas shopping done in a way. MY sister needed a camera she was using those disposables all the time and it took forever to get them to be working. Well Fingerhut called to offer my business a deal so I got her a cheap little camera so that's good. I only have to pay like 13 bucks a month on it so ... I also got myself some cooking pans as mine are barely making it and with people coming over for Thanskgiving I need them pretty bad. Here's to hoping I get more orders :)
(0)
Report

Good morning: sounds like some good news for some people going around ... let's make it an epidemic ok?
My mom's meds MUST be finally kicking in because even if she is down a bit (or "lousy" as she calls it) I am able to help her see the bright side of things. That's a plus; never have been able to do that before.
I may be a bit awol for the next few weeks with papers, presentations, finals coming up. Just can't wait for break ~ just in time for the holidays. I am doing better than I thought I would with all the added responsibilities with mom so that's good.
I took an afternoon off yesterday and arranged a display of Swarovski crystal jewelry my daughter creates at the local consignment shop. I would have preferred to spend more time typing and printing labels but that's ok. She wants these items in for only two months (leftovers from a craft fair) so I wasn't going to put too much into it you know. But the display is pretty (posted on my FB) and items are reasonably priced. It was nice to take a few hours and be creative and chat with the manager of the store (swiftly becoming a friend) instead of hitting the books! Yes, nice break.
I wish you all well. We here in CA are still having hotter weather, not good for fire threat, and we look forward to cooler weather in a few weeks (that's wishful thinking). Snow? No thanks!!! I am definitely a CA girl!!!
Hugs across the miles
SDPeg
(0)
Report

MIsmiley - good news about your leg! So happy for you.
Bee
(0)
Report

Rosella, somehow you manage to say just the thing I needed to hear in your posts.
Shawna, I found your website. I don't always notice the - I'm so busy just trying to (see) read the posts. lol Your art work in very nice!

I cried yesterday. I called to find if the new "medically necessary" lens for my right eye had arrived. (I have serious cornea damage.) I've been waiting 2 months now and it hasn't even been ordered. The specialist had me all pumpted up: this new lens is going to radically improve my quality of life.

Don't you just love how the insurance industry controls our lives?

My evening call to Mom found her in tears because she's "sick of these people just ignoring me". She was a little winded from her walk - out to see if she could find the kids to get them "home for dinner". She admitted she is depressed because of this "situation". I need to get ther to have a face to face talk about this "situation".

Well, i hope today is a better day - for all of us.
Carolyn
(0)
Report

Mismiley I am very happy for your foot! We need good news sometimes.
Ladee: "When I win the lottery I will be able to afford to have a nervous breakdown" is soooooooooooo true! Let's hope that when we win the lottery we have some nice travels, though.
Shawna you are always very busy! Tks God you have the energy.
Dede, you are at the stage where your mother needs help and she doesn't admit it and you have to worry that she is safe! I know it very well. Most of us have already been there. It took me months maybe more than a year to convince my mother to accept a help... Be patient!
Goodnight everybody....
(0)
Report

Evening Posse!

Just a quick hello and goodnight to everyone....lol. Been busy today and will get caught up with everyone tomorrow.

Shawna.....yes I got everything today and thank you very much! My Christmas shopping is officially begun now.....great items, very pleased.

Rained most of the evening and it's down in the 30's so we all know what that means...........I most certainly am not ready for winter weather. And the dogs aren't very happy either. Oh my, they hate getting those little paws wet. My little chihuahua looks at me like "uh huh....you're not making me go out there"..........

Must get some sleep.........hope everyone has a peaceful night.

Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
(0)
Report

That's cool, it is good to stay busy with arts and crafts, reading or whatever to get our minds off our problems.
(0)
Report

It sure is kinda awkward how they hurry the holidays these days. They didn't do that when we were kids. Have so many projects to crochet, embroidery, etc. and hope they can be completed in time. Sometimes it is just hard to find time, but we do the best we can and then realize maybe it's not so bad. Had a nurse come by to check on mom before me could get out of bed. Have just been that depressed and exhausted, but these new antidepressants my doctor has me taking seems to be improving my mood. Just had to catch up on some sleep and stop stressing so much and not be so grouchy because it doesn't help much. Anyway, have a good night. ;- )
(0)
Report

P.S. I go down to her house either every day or every other day....... will watch for another possible UTI or the dementia is getting worse.
(0)
Report

Hugs to all. Just checking in for a few moments. Spent about three hours at the mom's this afternoon (neighbor who cuts her grass called me to say she seemed "confused", or more so?). Was going to call her today to remind her for meds times to check, but I can't make it any easier (pill box four times a day). Went to store and got her some additional food (she gets meals on wheels). Check the meds. Had chat about her moving for her own safety, but that did not go well. Will check by phone again tomorrow, and probably stop by to monitor situation. She has been bipolar all her life, now this dementia, and there are days where there is a fine line as to where she is "at." Unfortunately, she was not very close to either of her children when raising them. She kinda did her own thing --- bingo, card parties, etc. Well, thanks for listening.... tomorrow is a new day. Take care!
(0)
Report

Well gang today was an okay dokey day. Mom was good no problems there got up got dressed had her meds ate her breakfast got her lunch. Got woke p by idiot sister who got a text from idiot brother. I honestly think he's losing his marbles. He asked if somethign was wrong with Shannon *ungrateful niece* and told her to call if she knew what was good for her. HUH. Well she called me Shannon is fine has not popped yet .. has another apointment if she does not have lil Austin by Tuesday of next week they are going to induce. I just want her to have this kid as shes mega beotchy with it. Tomorrow is bill paying day YAY NOT!!!! ... Mom and I are going to go out get bills paid and nice walk while the weather is nice. Gonna go to subway probably and get a sub for lunch then off to wallyworld to pay bills and post net to give them price list and paper showing stuff I sell. I also have to watch Kids tomorrow yeah its cold in their house and such but I guess It will be fine. Working on designs some mug designs that come out pretty kewl. So please check out if you want to.

Vic I am glad your dad was able to stand on the scales ... its not an easy feat I know. When family gets there run don't walk take sometime for yourself.

Ros ... I wish you get a break soon... honey..

Ladeeda ... what is there to say darlin I wish I could make everything better for you between you and you son. But you need to do what ya need to do. I am here anytime you need me.

CMAg enjoy your man cave and freedom ...

Jam well it says your stuff arrived today I hope you liked it. :-D

Might need to find a new supplier for my stuff not sure. That and help fixing when it comes to the water bottles I dont like the way they come out... anyway Hope you all have a nice weekend ...
(0)
Report

CMag, so happy to hear you are doing so well, feels good to be a human "being" instead of always a human "doing" doesn't it..... I respect your courage to heal, and it does take courage.... my letter to my son is slow going, life keeps interfering, like work..... but just want you to know I have deep admiration and respect for you and am so glad you are part of this journey......
Ro, you are my Italian sister, and I wish I was there with you... we could get our mind off of so many things and just laugh, talk and drink coffee.... love , hugs and prayers for you......
Bee, my heart breaks for you about your brother..... I have gone to too many addicts funerals in my life... I hate the disease of Addiction as much as I hate Alz.... both destroy the person and the family.... prayers for you.....
Vic, I am so proud of you, you teach me to perservere.... am so happy to hear dad was able to get on the scale... tho your back and body paid a price, it was a victory for you both... love ya girl....Have your bags packed and RUN don't walk when they get there, you and hubby go somewhere and keep it a secret.....
Mis, your sil sounds like my son, lord, we are all kin to each other thru crappy sibs and extened family..... makes me crazy thinking about it...happy to hear you foot is going to be ok.... practice kicken ass now and keep it in shape...be careful in Detroit...
Jo, you and I could throw our "ugly sisters' in pile and we wouldn't know who was who....
Jam, glad your team won, ok, ok, I'm a few days late with that, but you know I think of you all the time.... hope you are eating good icecream tonite...
Seeme Sue, I love you and miss you so much...... prayers for you always.... wish I could come set on your porch and just chill for awhile... love to hear you laugh.... makes my day..... just know how much you are loved...... every afternoon before I lay down for my nap, I say "ni-night Seeme"...... we are both snoozing, we need it....

Told Jam today that if I ever win the lottery the first thing I am going to do is have a nervous breakdown...... I deserve it...... love and hugs to everyone....
(0)
Report

Hi everyone. Not much new here other than the roofing people put my new roof on in two days and it cost less than the insurance adjuster estimated! I continue to live better each day after that letter burning event a week ago Tuesday.

The biggest thing that has taken place is I wondered why my mother's long term insurance check did not show up on the 1st like it normally does. Turns out it is due to a name change in her nursing home from being a nursing home to being a short term care and rehab place. This is what appeared on October's bill and has slowed things down for mom's insurance company thinks she is in a different place and not receiving nursing home type care anymore. I called the business office where my mom is and explained to them my need for them to fax a letter to my mother's insurance co. saying this is a new name for the same place, why they changed their name and that my mother is still receiving nursing home level care. I would hate to think we would have to move her to somewhere with the word nursing home in the title just to get her insurance to pay.

Lu, I hope you can find some support and help to get back off of your addiction.

Prayers and hugs to all.
(0)
Report

Vic that's good to hear about your dad standing and getting weighed on the scale.

SdPeg and Vic my sil just might be related to your brothers and sdpeg's sister. She's exactly the same way except for she only comes over when she wants something cause she thinks her grandma has money. That the same for my nieces but at least they call every once in a while to see how their great grandma is doing. Both of them are in their 20's and starting families and work so I kinda of understand on their part. My sil lives in a fantsy world so to speak. She stayed with us for a few months and thought it would be fun. She quickly found out it wasn't. She works in fast food and claimed that she was tired all of the time. I quickly nipped that. I told her I work 40hrs a week in factory doing cleaning and when she has days off she needs to be cleaning this house and where she sleeps at cause I'd better not see a mess when I come home. Yeah I was a real b towards her. I don't like her anyways, but being lazy made it worse. When she moved out I celebrated. I just don't like fake people all caring and trying to be serious but coming off as being fake.

I went back to the foot doctor today and got my results. He said that they are in the normal range. They took a biopsy of my skin just above my ankles to read the nerves. I almost jumped for joy when they told me that it was normal. I said that's good to hear even than I have a mutant gene. I have to go back at the end of the month and get a PAD test. I already know how that's gonna come out. I only have one vein in my leg that brings the blood back to the heart. Plus I got a script to get diabetic shoes the place is suppose to call me back to see where I can get them at. If it ain't one thing it is another. Oh well I'll just roll with flow and see what happens. A famous tv preacher once said " Tough times don't last, but Tough people do." I tend to live by those words. I ran out of time getting my Christmas lights out to test them and I sure won't get it tomorrow either cause I have to go to Detroit for training. I hate driving in big cities it takes me out of my element cause there is no trees around.
Hope everyone has a good rest of the week and will check in if I'm not too tired from the drive tomorrow and Friday.
Hugs to all and still praying here.
(0)
Report

(((((vic and sdpeg)))))) - sib problems here too, but being dealt with - the less contact the better in my case
quiet day on the thread - hope everyone ihad an OK day
still no snow here - that is a bonus into November - pumpkin pie in the oven -
Mother is happy as she got a letter of thanks and a lapel pin from the provincial govt opposition for her advocacy for seniors in health care etc and also she got some recognition from some people in a seniors group. She thinks she has given them things to do - she may have given them some ideas, but I do think they had things to do before she came on their scene. Whatever! She is happy for a little while and says I helped her - nice to have a positive amongst all the usual negatives.
Hope everyone has a good evening.
love, hugs and prayers ♥♥♥
jo
(0)
Report

I will not let this get me down is my mantra as well!!!
I thought (ha ha erroneously) that when my brother came to visit he would take my mom places so I could get some rest, watch tv, go out and have time to myself, get homework done ... NOT!!!
He spent his days visiting my mom texting my sister complaining I was avoiding him, hiding in my room, refusing to talk to him etc. I laughed because one day he said I wasn't home to purposely avoid him. WHAT? I was at the university sitting in classrooms learning and earning my degrees!!! He thinks he has that much power over me? That was actually very funny.
So my advice to those who hear that family members may be visiting (with or without exes, children, friends, etc) let me know NOW that you will be awol during the day(s)/time(s) they will be with mom/dad/family member/etc. Direct communication puts YOU in control. (My therapist is helping me with this.) Even though we may hear from others and not from the source, we CAN have the control. So if that means that when brother shows up you exit ... FLEE!!! and be FREE!!! and have FUN!!! And if he says you are avoiding him say "nope, just want respite care and thanks".
My mom had said with my brother here she wanted one-on-one time with him (although he brought girlfriend ~ that's another issue all together). So I respected her wishes ... so if he would have asked if I was avoiding him, I would have explained it was my mom's wishes and had nothing to do with him. I will do the same thing when my sister visits ... they don't come that often and I am here 24/7 so my mom should have that time with them. And besides if I didn't live with mom, they would NEVER come to visit me myself. So the visit isn't about YOU or ME, it is about the person they came to visit.
Oh dear, rambling on again ... hope that helps.
He does not have control over you.
He cannot let you be down about this.
SDPeg
(1)
Report

Well all three days in a row I have gotten dad to stand at the bathroom sink and with me helping to balance him...he has washed his face and put in his teeth. We have managed to take a step up on the scale to weigh him!! Whew...it is worth the sweat. He is so fearful of falling but he is keeping his legs straight and not be on of those string dolls..you know the kind that you pull the string and they stand and when you let go they crumple!
My brother told my mom yesterday that he plans to come for thanksgiving and bring his ex wife now back together and daughter and two children. she asked me if I knew..no mom first I heard of it! Soo I send text to see if I can get days he will be here...hubby comes home the night before...no response....absolutely sucks! So blah yesterday cause I let him have power over me... Ok I can play that game too! When he walks in I will be ready to leave somewhere anywhere. One day a week to have someone here is just enough to keep me out of Insane but I really need some time to just chill.....oh well ...I will not let this get me down...I will not let this get me down.......
(0)
Report

Lu - Ladeeda says it best.... you know it's all you, but we're here for you. I lost my brother to addiction. Literally, he committed suicide because he couldn't deal with his wife's illness. He was only 30 years old.
Please, take care of you! If someone else has to take over other aspects of life, so be it. You are precious!
(0)
Report

Lu, I am also in recovery , will have 28 years this Dec.... you and I both know the relapse process started a while back.... I can only imagine how hard it will be for you to walk back into a meeting and ask for help... and you are right... it will kill you... jails, institutions or death, those are our choices when using.....You know what you have to do, pray for the courage to go back to a meeting, and we both know having courage does not mean we aren't fearful, it just means we do it anyway..... I can pray for you, but you are the one who has to want to save yourself.... even just a tiny bit... our disease is NOT more powerful than GOD, just more powerful than us....the fact that you posted is saying you want help, and you know pity is not what you need, let me know how you are doing..... we make speak our own launguage on this matter as we both have a different way of seeing things, I posted on your wall... YOU know what you need to do, so do it..... hugs across the miles to you......you can do this 5 minutes at at time if you have to.....
(2)
Report

Lu, I read your thread... Yes please, if you don't find a way to deal with the situation, ask someone for advice... Social services perhaps?
Starry I am happy you enjoy sunshine in California even if you are not at the beach!
Mslisa, I am sorry, you seem to have a very hard time.
Ladee thanks I appreciate so much your support. Yes it is very hard!I miss my little one so much.
Yesterday we had a very nice walk with the 3 remaining dogs, and one of my little friends, the one that you see in the picture on Facebook with the donkey. We met 3 boys (from 6 to 10 years of age) and they came with us and the dogs. So I walked with my dogs and 4 children and I liked to see them laugh and play together! Rexy was crazy, 4 people throwing sticks!
Carolyn 150 kids coming to your door is quite a lot! I guess you had bought a ton of candies. I like the idea of your aunt Virg talking to your mother. Who knows! Maybe she really talks to her. "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
than are dreamt of in your philosophy"
Jo, what a nice story about Gordie's flowers. Seeing the pictures I thought you had put them there. The fact that it was a friend, is even sweeter.....
It's morning here and I have to do some errands... No work today. Better! I hope I have some work tomorrow.
(0)
Report

(((((((Lu)))))) - look after yourself -what ever u have to do to accomplish that - do it. Your mother and mine must be cousins - mine is the Queen of Crazyville and my sister is the Crown Princess. I left Crazyville a while ago and headed for Normalville. not saying I am there all the time, but more than I was and heading in the right direction. Maybe take a pillow and scream into it - and/ or keep coming back here -we understand. Family often does not seem to. Your health must come first more (((((((hugs)))))) and prayers - Joan
(2)
Report

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time that you have relapsed into addiction. The stress of being a caregiver is real and many days very unbearable. I am sorry you have family members that do not appreciate the sacrifices you are making. I know the feeling about screaming your head off ... I turn the music on in my car and sometimes do just that!!!.
The feeling of overwhelm is real and then having the "Mayor of Crazy Town" to take care of intensifies the "overwhelm".
I am not equipped to help regarding the relapse (perhaps others here are equipped). This group is very wonderful in sharing personal stories and perhaps one of theirs will help you.
In the meantime is there any individual or group that you could contact that could help you with your relapse? And any community/church resources you can tap into while you feel so overwhelmed?
SDPeg
(0)
Report

After 20 years of sobriety I relapsed into addiction. It’s scary, dangerous and will kill me. I’m overwhelmed by care giving for my Mother, the Mayor of Crazy Town. I am not doing well and family members have no sympathy for my sacrifices. I feel like screaming my head off.
(0)
Report

Everything on the site is created by me... I also do commissioned works just ask Ladeeda... If there is something you wish to see all you got to do is ask. I started up the small business because basically I can't go out and get a job and leave mom alone and we just can't afford caregivers so I am basically it. I wanted to also do something that I actually love doing my artwork is different and I do pretty much anything I can.
(0)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter