This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Going to try and get some sleep.
Love and Hugz,
Jam
I'd been sent to the AMEX to exchange dollars for Deutsche marks. My mother was going to pick up pizza for dinner for the rest of the family since I couldn't stay awake long enough to cook dinner, so she needed DM for Da Benito's.
My mouth was wired shut, so it was liquified Campbell's minestrone for me for the next eight weeks. I just wanted something solid to eat, but no such luck.
By the way, that's a database that was compiled on terror attacks. It's not officially official. Anyone can view that database freely.
Maya, Hiya. I clicked on your Link and was like oops am I supposed to be on this website? It was so official and governmenty. I didn't know you could browse around on those things. So you were near where a bomb went off? I would probably die right then and there from a heart attack. So Glad you were safe. I also love hearing family stories, they are not boring. I'm a book lover, but don't have much time to read so anytime I can catch a quick story I love it.
Hope y'all have a good night!
Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
This is what happened on June 1, 1976. I was leaving the building as it went off. Since I was on pain meds and muscle relaxants due to surgery I had the week before, I assumed the shaking was from them, so I just caught the strasse home and went to sleep on the sofa. It happened in the building next to my high school.
I've told my mom that if the line at the AMEX had been one person longer, I would have been eligible to be buried in an army cemetery. I think it's funny. She's not amused.
You might be surprised at who is looking for your branch of the family. You also might be surprised at what you find. I had the joy of telling my mother's family that they had an ancestor with my father's last name. It really spooked them.
I guess I forgot to tell you that my mother's family looked down on my dad's family. It's amazing how their attitude changes when they find out that it appears that they're in a branch of the same family.
The more I read his poetry, the more it got inside me, if that makes any sense. So, I did more research. I've corrected several of the listings on E-bay when they tried to sell a book with a printed signature as a signed copy. Uh huh. Bliss Carman usually signed his books in pencil, normally with an inscription to the buyer or a bit of verse. I've bought enough signed first editions of his to know that. I figure if they're going to sell something, they ought to at least be honest about it.
I bought "Low Tide on Grande Pre" at an amazingly low price. It was his first book and the one I bought was a signed first edition. It appraised at five hundred dollars, but I only paid a tiny fraction of what it appraised for. It was the lavender cloth cover and it was in near fine condition. I passed it along as a gift to my best friend.
Whenever the prices of his books begin to go up, I step back and let the prices come back down. The truth of the matter is that there are maybe two or three people who bid on them at the most, but the more books I buy, the higher the prices get. You've got to let them go back to incredibly low prices every now and then when you don't have a whole lot of money, but it's worth the wait. I've paid as little as ninety-nine cents for one in near fine condition. With media mail shipping, I can afford an occasional rare book as long as I'm careful.
It also allows me to share them with others. I've handed them to people at work to take home and read. It's always a good thing when someone's horizons are broadened by exposure to classics like these.
I have been in a blue funk and a smile is a good remedy. I found it interesting that you think you tell them to feel normal by comparison. I would say you are normal but not average - much more interesting than average!!!
You got me readng Bliss Carman again! When did you first encounter him? Now that the secret is out of the bag that the col is not only Swedish (those pesky Scandinavians) but Canadian too - maybe we will find we have another closet Canadian - eh? Have you read Irving Layton?
Everyone have a great day! and tell us some of the family secrets - the funny ones like asg's priest relative finding red light ads around the house
You know, all the good names are already taken --- I'd have to use normal names, I suppose. Then it wouldn't be nearly as funny, would it?
asg 0glad he took it well
what a family u have maya - tons of material for books
haven't heard janie fricke in years!! I don't remember that song but obviously it is apt
My best friend told me that he doesn't consider cousins marrying to be immoral. He just thinks it's genetic suicide.
Ever hear a song by Janie Fricke called "She's Single Again"? The first time my mother and I heard it, we looked at each other and said "Ann!" Then we cracked up. When she was between husbands, she'd go down the road smoking a cigarette like it was something illegal. She said that it was a good way to meet new men.
I'm just wondering how big her marker is going to have to be. I think ALL of her names need to be on it, along with any alias she's used as well. She liked being the center of attention, so that would really get her noticed, don't you think?