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Tonight I am doing very well because I have been communicating all day on this site with my "family" and it has been an awesome day.
Just wanted to say thanks for being my family.
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Oh, by the way, pingo is Swedish I think for poop or the act itself. Not exactly sure. Will have to research that......col's family is pure Swedish. They immigrated to emjo's area in the 1800's and the col's mother was born in Canada. Thought y'all needed to know that.....:)
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Maybe just for fun we could post where we would like to go ... IF we had a free week ... and IF we had unlimited money!!!

I would like to go to the islands off of Portugal where my ancestors are from.

Where would YOU like to go?
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hi dede - sounds like u have a handful there - bipolar and dementia - hmmm percocet - too. That's a mixture!
You must be wondering how long she wil be able to stay on her own.
Come back anytime and share more!
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Hi DeDe.....glad to see we are able to give you some support. Stick around....we have been known to give nightmares and heartburn also...............:)
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And you can have a free week's vacation...............wherever you can find a free week..........
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But a contest does sound good............
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Ladee doesn't remember that Old English Sheepdogs don't have tails...........
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Yes and Please ... that's cute!!!
Seeme: you could have a contest ... and the winner of the names of the pups gets a free week vacation! Woo hoo! We can dream can't we?
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But Seeme, we don't want them doing the pingo and brick all over the place, so if you name them, Yes and Please, then when you ask if they want to go out, they will wag their tails.....
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Oh please, puppies deserve to have better names than being named after Poo!!!!!But I do like Pingo and Brick.....
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I love the names Pingo and Brick also.
I love the phrase "there she goes again" because it means that you, also, are processing all this and we together are learning. I know I certainly have repeated and repeated the same ol' stuff and it is in the processing that I am able to sort things out.
It is very true, I am grieving the loss of my dad and sometimes feel as though I didn't get a chance to do that without interference because of caring for my mom and the intrusion of my brother. Grieving is a long journey but by adding distractions the journey is not just long, it is detoured.
I appreciate so much how many of you have gotten to know who I am and know just the right words to say in order to help me put one foot in front of the other.
I do have a lot to be thankful for: my mom is not a wandered, is still in control of her bladder, is ambulatory, takes her meds when I give them to her, allowed me to cook for her tonight and said "thank you", and even wanted to clean the kitchen (well I had already done it but one light by the stove was left on ... oops ... she couldn't figure out how to turn it off so she said "you're not done in the kitchen are you? You left a light on.") Gotta love her.
Thanks for the encouraging words, the words of wisdom, the hugs across the miles and the loving support! I appreciate it all and if I have contributed only half of what you all have given to me, this "family" here on this site is truly blessed! SDPeg
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Ahhhh GREAT!!!!! LOL!
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PINGO and SHART
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seeme - the POA ceases but you are still accountable for what you did when you had it - this is what the lady is being sued for. The law suits came after her mother died. I am executor, too so I suppose I could be sued over that too if it comes down to it. I intend to hand that to a professional.
Pingo and Brick sound great toi me! LOL
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Seeme: OMG thanks for the laugh! YES, Pingo and Brick!!! I love it!!! SDPeg
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OK......looks like the "poor me" is gone for today............

A couple of thoughts to share.....just remember that POA ceases as soon as the person dies. I couldn't even insist that my mom be cremated like she wanted....had to have a majority of living children agree to it.I've been talking about getting 2 puppies and what I might name them. I believe Ladee said they would let me know what their names shoud be.............now I will have nightmares about at least one wanting to be called.............wait for it..............PINGO!!!!! And the other one will probably be .......BRICK!!!!!!! God help me and bless my heart......I am going to the dark side........................
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Glad to have this site for reference, guidance and support. SDPeg, you are not alone ... my mom was on anti-depressive most of my life, then stopped; my dad passed away in 2008, her doctor prescribed Zoloft a few months after but she refuses to take; bipolar among other issues all her life, then add dementia to it. She still lives by herself, now has a UTI. I make sure she takes he Cipro twice a day, but the other maintenance meds are put into a four-time-a -day pillbox, still not taking them all.... but does remember the "blue" pill - Percocet.

Cmag, awesome post!

Jam, everyone else.... thanks for the advice and support. Take care, and row on!
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So that's what there she goes again meant -didn't get it and I don't think that.
repetition is the basis for learning if it comes to that.

I find when I am trying to process something difficult I need to go over it and over it and sometimes over it and in that process things slowly get slorted out.

After my split nearly 20 yrs ago i used to go for walks with the dog and my middle son. He is a good listener and after quite a while of taking advantage of that I finally heard what I was saying - if you know what I mean. It was an a-hah moment and i got a lot miore comfortable with things starting then.

sdpeg -you r still grieving your dad and now also your mum's decline and fighting that is normal. This is multiple loss and hits harder than one at a time with a decent space in between.. You still have not processed ur dad's loss totally. You can't in a year. I think u r doing extremely well to continue your studies and also find ur way through all of this emotional stuff. If you feel u r on an emotional rollercoaster sometimes - than would be normal and expected with what you are having to deal with. I hear you a bout losing your old mum -even if she was not as nice it is still a lose and wanting time with ur new mum. Must be very confusing at times. ((((hugs))))
stormy - hope the mixture help. Your dad is right but i would not want that job!!!!
ladee -caregivery is a good word.I am gettng better at telling myself that I don't HAVE to do that, or put up with this, or be anything other than myself, That's how God made me.!
love and hugs
jo
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Thanks Vic, I knew you would understand... and isn't that just "us".... carrying two bags of rocks and being so single minded on the task at hand....not looking at other possibilites.....not hearing our 'inner voice' tellling us when it is time to stop.... that's why I said"caregivery".... I know it's not a word, but it is how it felt when I realized I didn't HAVE to do it that way.....
Cmag, the line in the poem that resonated with me is"While accepting ourselves as flawed returns the dawn of life into our aching souls".... THE turning point in my life, when I accepted me as me.... things to be worked on, yes, partly because I am a "seeker", but I am very grateful for all the 'working parts', and those that haven't or didn't work so well, there has been improvement. Some of the things my childhood gave me have been good things when turned over to God and letting him knock the rough edges off to make me be of better service to Him.....I am a strong woman, and I am grateful for that.... and I was and still am very curious about life.... I don't see the twisted and knarley tree out in the pasture as being ugly, I see it as strong and beauitful and still there despite it's begining..... and unique, not like all the other trees.... there is a Zen story about a ' tree of troubles' it sat in the center of a little town. Everyone's problems were hung from this tree and they were asked to walk around the tree and pick their problems... everyone came back to their own, after seeing everyone else's....sometimes gratitude is all I have.... and I am blessed for seeing my life as I do ..... to sum it up, God's Grace.... so thanks so much for sharing today and waxing theological , I love conversations like this.....
SDPeg, I don't think for me what I heard was'here she goes again', what I heard was your need to be validated for feeling so powerless..... nope, you can't make her be what or who you need her to be....we are all powerless over outcomes... every last one of us... we can do our best, we can carry two bags of rocks up the hill, but in the end, it isn't about 'us' and what 'we' want.... Guess God is giving you this to teach you... you and Him will have to decide what that lesson or lessons are...... My lessons were not learned and still being learned in a vacuum....and yes you are going to continue to care, regardless, and you wanting more of the 'good times' with her, well, that is human, so try your best to just relax a little, do what you think is best medically, but grief is something no two people do the same......Does she ever cry from missing your dad??? Does she talk about him? She is going to walk this path however she is going to do it.... you do the best you can... the rest is up to her and God.....
Hugs to everyone
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Thanks for the suggestion.
I think her doc suggested the right med for her at this time because one of the side effects is weight gain which is what mom needs to do. The depression is situational and related to grieving thus her doc wanting her to get out more. My Fall semester is over in 2 months and therefore I will have more time with Mom (which I am looking forward to) and next semester I will take two courses (lighten my load) and we can go out and have more fun. I think I am experiencing a transition myself from full-time do-what-I-want student/daughter to Mom-needs-me (daughter) and also part time student. Heck I've waited this long to get my degree ... it certainly can wait another semester.
I have to also remember to be patient with myself and remind myself that acceptance of change does not happen overnight.
Thank you for the suggestion. I will add that to my list of things to talk to doc about in 2 weeks. My list gets longer and longer and I am blessed with a doc that listens to me as much as she listens to my mom.
SDPeg
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Well for THE GROSS OUT FOR THE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BEWARE IF YOU ARE EATING--------------------
Well dad got out of the shower and guess what he wanted me to do after we got him dress. HE WANTED ME TO DIG THE GUNK OR GOO OUT FROM UNDER HIS TOENAILS FROM HIS TOENAIL FUNGUS. We have been putting lamisil cream on his toenails for weeks now and that cream is eating away the goo from under his toenails. He wanted me to do this after his shower so the goo would be soft and easy to get out. And all i have to say about that is YUCK, YUCK, YUCK!!!!!!!! AND THANK GOD FOR STERILE GLOVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HUGS STORMYYYYYYYY
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My anti-depressant of choice is Lexapro. When Prozac first came out....it was the original....one of the side-effects was suicide and I can remember so many people were afraid of it because it seemed like there was such a drastic increase in suicides and that was a med the person was on.
I think as care givers our grieving starts when we first notice signs of change. And we just continue through different stages as our loved one progresses through the stages of aging and death.

Must get dinner for the col before she starts grazing again...:)

Hoping everyone has a peaceful evening!

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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Well dad is taking a shower so i thought i would type a quick post to ya'll. My voice is all but gone. Emjo thanks for the recipe i have not mixed it up yet but i will give it a try. I know my voice will probably be worse tonight because i have been having to raise my voice(or what i have left of it) so that daddy can hear me. I can't talk and he can't hear (aren't we a pair)!!!!!! And connor kept hitting me in the back today saying "Good Lord Mama what is wrong with your throat?". I kept telling him that was not helping it. But ya'll know little kids don't listen........ Or mine don't. I hope all of ya'll are doing ok today.
Ros and Shawna ya'll are on my mind today so sorry for your losses.
Faye- how old is your hubby and have you tried to contact hospice for some help.
praying for answers for you and hubby.
Ladee- how is sonny today?
Jam-what's up with col and how is she doing?
Grey-welcome aboard......
Seemee- it was good to hear from u
Maya-how r u today?
Vic-hugs to you
Starri- girl we have missed u....
c-mag-get some rest and take it easy.
I will post to the rest of ya'll later he is out of the shower
hugs stormyyyy
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Greysfully (((((((hugs))))) pklease tell us more about your situation and how you arrived at this point - think all of us have been there and soime still are -i can identify - We can certainly support you, listen and respond. Caregiving is so very stressful..This is not how I planned to spend my retirement and I am making some changes.
vic - hugs
maya -where r u today?
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Greysfully: very well articulated
Vic: praying for you. Get some rest as well.
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We are home..dad was released from the Hospital Friday evening. He is week and tired. today has been a little better. Guess time will tell.
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Oh Ros..so sorry...prayers for you
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Depleted, thick, heavy, full yet hungry, sad, stuck, nauseous, hopeless and afraid. Thank you for asking. That is how I feel today.
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Too funny, Ladee!!!
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