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Faye, I have an Alz mother and I was desperate before knowing this site. I didn't know what to do and it seemed to me to be completely alone. I am Italian and I found the site for pure coincidence as I was looking for the meaning of an idiomatic sentence in American, and I found that sentence on the site. In one year and a half I have had so many answers, good advices, solidarity... I understood that my mother is a very typical Alz, so the experiences of the other relatives help me a lot to find solutions for my mother's problems. I feel much less desperate and very much supported... We talk about our sick relative with sadness, with sense of humour, with intolerance, with love..: Every possible feeling because every day is different. Stay with us! Venting helps a lot.
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HI faye - you are welcome of course. I am sorry that your husband has this disease. I think many can identify with your feelings of being a prisoner in your own home. Does he have a good doctor - one that you trust? I have not had to deal with Alz but many others here do and will be happy to share with you. We all encourage one another, listen to vents and as sdpeg said, trade recipes, ideas for dealing with things, tell our stories and laugh and cry together. It helps so much. Glad you are feeling better even for reading what others go through. Come back and share more.
(((((((hugs))))))
jo
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Hi, I have been a member for about four weeks and I can say I am gaining so many friends. Yes, please pop in and post. I can only imagine the challenges you experience but no matter what they are, this group of friends is the best! I am known as SDPeg as we have another one of me (ha ha) Peggy and she lives in AZ (pretty close to me as I am in San Diego, CA). This is a fun group ... we make jokes, share recipes, embrace the troubles and pray for one another (if applicable). Welcome, Fayewlbur ... how do you prefer to be addressed?
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I am a new comer to care giving. My husband has alz an is getting worse very quickly. I even started to feel a little better reading what you guys are going through. Some days like today is a pretty good day but look out for tomarrow. Can i become a part of this group.
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Hi other Peg(gy). Glad to hear from you!
Glad you are getting help.
And yeah, sometimes I think we need to really and seriously delegate to those that are responsible enough to take on the task.
I am battling a "power struggle" with "hero brother". My mom was in urgent care Tuesday and the constipation finally was "resolved" shall we say yesterday. Today he and girlfriend and Mom went to cemetery to see my Dad. Brother does not comprehend that Mom puts things places and can't remember what she did with them. The latest is her house keys ... I have a key and brother is livid mom does not have one. (I suspect he wants to duplicate it as he likes having keys to everyone's house ... watch out ha ha.) He does not understand that she does misplace things and raising his voice to her about it does not make her feel better about herself.
I am looking forward to his departure.
I do have a couple of hours to myself and will get some reading done for my classes. I'm just as worried with her with him as I am when she is here with me. I think I will just let go for a couple of hours.
I agree that everyone here is so special and corresponding with everyone is spectacular. Thanks from me as well! SDPeg
Rossellamex: I agree ... no man for me right now. I try to dress as well as I can being a student. It's usually jeans and tshirt and also an occasional blouse. Make up? Whatever I can throw on in the morning ... comfortable shoes ... yeah, I doubt anyone looks at me and says "sexy!" ha ha but that's ok. I have not ironed at all for years and years ... money? what's that ha ha. I think we can all have love stories ... in the right time ... in the right place ... keep dreaming.
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Peg from Tucson: I'm happy for the good news!
Peg from San Diego: Yes really, between my mother, my pets and my work I'm already tired enough, and a man would be just stressful. I work at home so I don't have to worry anymore how I dress and if I have been to the hairdresser. I cut my hair by myself with results that are not exactly good. I am lucky I have curly hair so you don't notice the damage too much!
When I worked in an office I had to take care about it. If I had a man I should for example iron my things. I haven't ironed anything in the last year!!!!!! yes I know it's awful to say that, and not feminine at all. I am surprised if a man even looks at me still, and I think he is interested in my money, but I don't have money so I laugh. 3 years ago a young man stopped me in the street and I immediately told him "Sorry I have no money" ( I thought he was a beggar!!). He was very surprised and he said: "I just wanted to tell you that I like the way you walk!" Jam do you think I can still have a love story? I don't think so!!!!
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Hello Everyone, Long time since my last post. Well, FIL is doing so much better, and sis in law is here this weekend for a visit. Hopefully he will not be too worn down come Monday -Tuesday. Cross that bridge when it gets here. he ate 2 giant meals yesturday. He is on the second round of the spread out treatment to cure the C-diff. It's crazy that the doctor had to do the last prescription of Flagyl so that is made the c-diff reoccur, well actually never really cleared up with the Flagyl. It has been a lot easier for me around the house. I was doing it all for July and all of August, then my implosion, and voila, hubby is helping, son is helping, I am delegating. WOW And having FIL improving for the last two weeks has been great for him. I just wanted to check in and say thanks to everyone here. You ALL have helped in so many ways, it is impossible to thank individuals as you are all knowledgeable and kind. Love and Hugs to all. Peggy in Tucson
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Morning all... Hope today is as peaceful as possible in all circumstances. Dad is doing ok..he was a little down yesterday and I wasn't much better. Know toady will be better!! Mom is feeling better too..yaay
Jam..sorry about tunica would have told you not to go. It is ok for a day trip. Next time make plans to go to Mississippi coast. The casinos are much better and strip of them next to each other right on beach. Course none are like Vegas but...
Just wanted to check in as we have another busy day...saying prayers for all of you today
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*MOM ... oops, must be tired. zzzzzzz Good night all
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Thanks, Jam for the heads up on the MAM. I was thinking that since the results have been reached and she is evidently cleaned out I would not have her take any more. I think this was just a one time deal to get the system running again. What do you think? And I certainly do NOT want colon problems for my Mom as her dad (I think) and her niece had colon problems. My mom is 84 years old ... God please let her enjoy the rest of her life without too much drama.
Thanks for the pink ribbon ... appreciate it as my mom is a survivor.
Peg
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SDPeg......most docs won't tell you, but be careful with using the MOM because it can lead to a cathartic colon, then you have a real mess.

And I keep forgetting to remind everyone.......here is a pink ribbon and it is Oct. Please schedule a mammogram for this month.

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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OH my goodness my dear friends. I do have to say that when my mom's doc said to consume milk of magnesia for her constipation I remembered what one of you had written about over using lotion ... and decided to keep the bottle of milk of mag in MY bathroom just to prevent over using THAT product. As it goes (ha ha pun intended), the prescribed dose did the trick. So onto another day! I'm with you Rossellamex, NO man for me either ... I have enough on my hands with my own life and my mom's ... having someone else to consider would set me over the edge!
Good night and thanks for all the well wishes. Funny how crap is something to be excited about! Hallelujah is right!
Sweet dreams all.
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I had written a post and my cat cancelled it. I don't know why they always walk on the keyboard! Jam I am sorry for your hard day. I am so fed up, too, that I don't know how to get up every morning and continue to do the same things every day. Italan stallions? They are a myth. Maybe in the years '50s. If I had to make a percentage I'd say that maybe 10% of the men can vaguely correspond to that description! And anyway, with my good luck, if I found a man I would have to take care of him, too. NO THANKS. That's enough!
Peg I am glad for the good news... 'night
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Sorry Ya'll , got sidetracked, so didn't catch up with posts... will do better tomorrow, naaah, I won't put that added pressure on myself... love ya'll and hope everyone gets some rest tonite.... hugs across the miles...
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Emjo- he is on levothyroxine(sp?) wonder why it is low? Also on the report it had a cl beside 0.08. Thank you. We will ask him when we see him. Love you!
Hey everyone hubby had to wake me up I fell asleep with lil red. Well I had to go check on dad today and his neck looks awful. It is so sore. His pads that we put under his trach collar is getting stuck to his skin where it is irratated. I had to work on his neck for 45 min. today to try to get the pad unstuck. And the dr put him on some strong antibiotics a one a day pill for 5 days and he finished that up today. Just don't know why it will not clear up. I am wonderng if he has a autoimmune disorder. Also his mucus is still a brown yucky color. And it smells bad that is a sign of infection. Or wondering if he doesn't have cellulitis in his neck he had it there one other time. It is soooo red it looks like it did when he was going through radiation to his neck if not worse.
Shawna- me, hubby and red went to a festaval(sp?) today and i thought about you. People had all kinds of stuff out there- mugs, hats,paintings,books,shirts etc... hope the sales are doing good for you!!!
Jam- glad you are home sorry the trip wasn't what you were expecting at least you got away from the col for a while.
Seemee- glad you are home too!!! We missed u and i hope u are doing ok. Love u.
Ros- I will be praying for more work for you. I hope things get better for u.
Peg- hallelujah for the bowel movement!!!! A great victory!!!!
Ladee- how's the bs?
Mis- I think it was you that said the other day that your mom put bengay on her lips. Sorry but it made me laugh when i was feeling like crying. Thank you for the laugh. I bet your mom's lip were nice and COOL feeling. :0) Hope she is ok from it.
Well i am brain dead i can not think of any body else i know i have missed alot of you and i am sorry i need to make one of them lists that jam has of everyone. Love ya'll and have a good nite everyone!!!!!!!! Stormyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Crazy way to end my night.
My mom was constipated (due to thyroid) and was told to drink milk of mag every four hours until ... well "until" .... yep, no more constipation!
Mom was embarrassed with "accident" but after a long, warm bath and my reassuring, loving words, she is sleeping now and no longer complaining about her "tummy" hurting.
While cleaning up, I thought of this group of friends I have gotten to know over the last weeks and thought, "if they can do it, so can I" ... and I did. And I thank you all for sharing your lives with me as I felt surrounded by you all while I cleaned up and thanked God for the "crap" ... funny thing to give thanks for huh?
So please, please know that I appreciate all of you tonight!!!
Thanks for being open and honest and genuine!
Good night!!!
Sweet dreams ... get rest ... we need it.
The wash will go into the dryer in the morning.
Hugs, Peg
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Hi Stormy - Yup it is a little low which means his thyroid meds dose is a little high. I would mention it to oine of the docs you trust -easy enough to adjust the dose - what is he on now?
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Hey Emjo- wanted to ask you a question about dads tsh level that was taken sept. 16th. His was 0.08. Do you know what this means? Thanks
Hey everyone i will post to ya'll later hopefully tonite. I got to lay down with red maybe i won't fall asleep. Love and hugs stormyyyyyyyyyyyyy
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(((((((hugs))))))) jam sounds like a tough day

hope tomorrow is not as bad - and hope u have a good sleep - love ya too
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Mom is doing okay today .. its a bit cold so I have all the blankets I can get bundled on her. Doing laundrey and hanging out. Bad news is I caught a dang cold and its just nasty cause of the dang rain. I wash my hands every time I give mom something so that I do not make her sick. We want to keep her as healthy as can be. Cleaning the house tomorrow what fun working on images and such and trying to keep warm. Not in the mood to deal with anyone lately today idiot sister called today wanted to talk to mom .. mom didnt' want to talk then she wanted to talk to me. I said I didn't feel good I was taking a nap to see if I could feel better and I just didn't want to deal with her. She called me a beotch and hung up the phone oh well.. no big .. don't care ...
Peggy I am glad you finally figured out what was wrong with your mom here's to hoping the meds work and she goes back to eating good.
Stormy keep us updated on your daddy let us know how it goes
Ross hope work troubles cease
Jam just let me know .. I don't have a LOT of fireman things just the two designs...
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Antlers first Jam, then the pillow, only thing I can think of to calm her down..... love ya...
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Good Evening Posse!

Finally have time to check in and let y'all know I'm still alive and kicking......I think. I'm just tired today....too much going on. The col has been a handful all day starting with breakfast. She didn't like the fact that I made her oatmeal instead of letting her eat popcorn. Went down to make her lunch and she is standing in the kitchen dipping her fingers in butter and smearing it on crackers. Threw that away and made her a hot lunch. And she's demanding, yes and to the point of stomping her feet like a two-year old, to be taken to "the mall"....I managed to escape for about 2 hours to do some outdoor work. But then it started again.....she has badgered me all day.....I've lost count of the number of times I've said we can't and the diaper changes and pounds of poop I've cleaned off her and the toilet....and through it all "I want to go....take me out.....I need to go shopping....". Target brought her cake for dessert after dinner....I sit with her while she eats....and he heard her going at me even while her mouth was full of food. He stepped in and told her she isn't capable of walking long distances and to stop the incessant badgering and she made a smart comment and started laughing at him. Monday can't get here fast enough. So that's been my wonderful day.............hope it's been better for the rest of you.

stormy....glad you will hear a better diagnosis this week. Let me know what you find out.
Shawna.....glad the website is done. I'm going to be looking at your firefighter items as my son is a firefighter/EMT.
SDPeg.....sounds like things will be getting better for Mom. Isn't it a relief to finally get answers?
rossella.......I so hope things improve for you.......or some rich, good-looking Italian stallion comes into your life!!!!!!
emjo.......hope you're feeling well and I sure am glad you will get to spend more time with your sweetie.
starri......is so busy traveling she doesn't have time to stop and send email or post. Has anyone heard from her?
ladee...........missing you........
seeme......missing you also.....I'm glad we didn't try to hook up last Monday......after Target got behind the wheel we would have been able to say hi/bye as we whizzed by each other.............I'm not sure what part of "we don't have a time constraint anymore to follow" that he doesn't get.

I've had to hit the back-space so many times that I have to stop this now. Will check in tomorrow.........hope everyone has a peaceful night.

Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
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Way to go Emjo, and I think riding up on horses is exactly what that tight ass family needs..... a surprise..... at least then they will have a reason to look down thier noses... but I laughed out loud when I read it....never let the enemy know what you are up to......
Am going to go back and get caught up on posts so be back in a while.....
talked to Seeme today, she will get with us soon, prayers sent her way for how different her world is right now.....
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I forgot!!! -To finish off my week I got a call from a hospital in Edmonton that my mother had been admitted on Wednesday. She has had a few fainting spells. The nurse was so impressed with her cognitive abilities but I think I gave her more of a realistic picture and mentioned the BPD too. She is very bright but there is some memory slippage. She had forgotten if she has a personal directive. I told them she has.The nurse asked about lactose intolerance, so I filled her in on mother's food sensitivities. Over the years mother has fainted when she has had gut issues, gotten up and been fine - but not several times in a short period. Well, at 99 I suppose some things will go wrong. Before her surgery in June she was checked from head to toe and pronounced A1. In fact they gave her general anaesthetic for her surgery which they usually do not do with some one in her age group.so I am not too concerned. She was supposed to be released by today. I suspect, as usual, they will have found nothing wrong.They are always very impressed with her test results. I suspect that she has been less active due to the hip repair had had some effect. Normally she walks lots - or else she is not taking her BP meds properly or maybe her thyroid.meds. They should be able to check that all out.
I see from facebook my niece and her husband and, I am sure, my sister are coming over from Scotland for mother's 100th birthday next May. I did alot for the 90th b'day celebration so she can do it this time. Maybe this time I will let everyone else do it and just show up for the party - with Gary on my arm of course ;). -maybe riding horses... - now I am doing a ladee thing - imagination!!!

How is everyone??? I am having a quiet day - needed one after this week.
love, hugs and prayers ♥♥♥
jo
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HI peg - you are most welcome/ Every year I would "sing my thyroid song" to each biology class and most years at least one would come and talk to me about symptoms. If your mum's TSH was 25 that is quite high. She must have been feeling awful. You have an idea of the symptoms now so once a year may be enough unless you start seeing some changes in yourself. Drs tend not to recognize what is called subclinical hypothyroidism so they leave it until til it gets worse and you feel worse all the time.I got mine tested and the dr said i was a little off but not enough to give me anything and I told him it was far enough off, I needed it and he was going to give it to me. I had 19 out of a list of 20 symptoms. I ended up on 150 mcg which is a decent dose and it surprised him. My daughter and I notice a difefrent pretty quickly (days) though it takes a few months for the whole effect.

I am so happy for you that your relationshp with your mum is better than ever now and that you want to spend this time with her so are reducing your school load. H

Hope the rest of the semester goes better now that her health issues are being addressed.

(((((hugs)))))
jo
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Jo: thank you for this info. This is so reassuring! All the things you said thyroid could affect has been and she (and I as you have read) has been so worried. I was tested last year during my physical and so far I am ok but will follow your advice and get tested often. Thank you!!!

Her TSH was 25.

I am happy to say also that I will go part time to school in the Spring (staring January 2012) so that I can be here for her and enjoy our days together. As I have mentioned, this is the best relationship we have had my whole life and I want many more years of it.

In the meantime I will get help for her (more than she has already) and count down the weeks until this semester is over.

I deeply and sincerely appreciate this info ... that's what friends are for!
Peg
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HI sdpeg -I am the queen of thyroid problems -the women in our family have low thyroid but I have been on treatment longer than any of them. I first had treatment as a child but at that time they did not know them to keep on giving it to me, - u may want to get yours checked regularly as it runs in families. I was going to mention and maybe I forgot ;p that low thyroid will reduce your appetite. The constipation will most likely go away when her med dose is adequate. I was what I used to call "terminally constipated" before I got meds. Memory and fatigue and general interest in life should perk up.Lethargy is typical of low thyroid, Sleep problems can go either way - too much or too little. hair loss is another one, feeling cold - if you are wondering about anything just ask. I have been on meds for over 20 yrs now and have to get tested regularly -every couple of months as my needs seem to vary quite a bit since my son died. In fact I am on a much lower dose than I was - between .088 and .1 (alternate days) . My daughter is like that too, while my mother has been on the same dose for years. .125 is about an average dose - she will need to get tested agaiin in a few months to see if this is the right dose for her. The current feelings it that a TSH of about 2 is good but that can vary from one person to another. Glad this has been identified. Have a good day.
jo
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I made a mistake. Her new rx is 125mcg ... and the old rx was 0.088mg
I am not knowledgeable about this at all so any thoughts and info is greatly appreciated! Peg
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Today I feel relieved.
My mom's doc appt went well yesterday. Apparently her thyroid is askew and with a new rx that will be satisfied (in time of course).
Apparently the doc said my mom's memory loss could be reversible when the thyroid improves. Also her constipation and fatigue is directly related to the thyroid.
My frustration is that the labs done a while ago (6 months someone mentioned) indicated this and I feel the rx should have been changed then but someone apparently dropped the ball.
On Tuesday I went with my gut and took her to urgent care. That's when the recent labs were done and yesterday the doc was once again fabulous. This doc really, really "hears" my concerns as the daughter who lives with my mom. I am thankful.
The milk of mag should help the constipation as well.
I do not know that much about thyroid and rx for that issue so I welcome and embrace whatever info you have. I see her last rx was 0.088 mg of Levoxyl and it has been increased to 125 mg. I would love to hear from others that have experience in this so I know what this is about.
But for now, she is asleep (after being up half the night trying to have a BM) and I am thankful, for this moment, that the fog has been lifted on what her problem is.
Looking forward to assistance in understanding thyroid issues (I did google but sometimes I understand more from friends. Thanks, Peg
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Shrl... (Shirley?) As I see the things from outside, I really don't think you should worry anymore about what your mother thinks of you and your sister, whom, as far as I have understood, have been treated very badly by her all your life. I know that your mother is always your mother, your father is always your father, but there are limits. When the relationship in a family are so painful, I think the best solution is to say "Bye bye mom, have your life, I will have mine" and make a family of your own which is completely different, or hang out with your friends who love you!
But again I see the things from outside. I think that if my mother were like this I wouldn't care at all about her. My mother has been quite self centered and I have felt abandoned by her all my life; sometimes I can't stand her and I have to hide in my room to regain my equilibrium. But she has not treated me so badly! So I try to take care of her, even if sometimes I feel I am choking in this life! If she had been more loving to me, I would probably do more willingly what I am doing now.
Ladee, I can survive some more months but as my debts are increasing, if things don't go considerably better I will be forced to change my lifestyle and the idea of staying all the time with my mother doesn't make me too happy. We all are connected in this world and if I stop working and I have to fire my helpers it will be a problem for them, too. So I hope that for the sake of everybody I get out of this mess... I am extremely stressed and worried but I can't allow myself to lose the grip. I guess I have to find my strength in my heels, in whatever part of my body, if I have lost it in my brain and in my heart!
Stormy, whatever the doctor will say to you, he'll give you solutions to make your father feel better... So, try to take every new you shall have with serenity... As much as you can!
To everybody else, big kiss
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