This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Jam today is moms hair day too! But I have to take her..have sitter to stay with dad...woohoo
Seeme ? sorry your not feeling well, but grateful your tummy has settled down. Ladee? computer and internet all in one day? you must have got Seeme on the ball...lol, sorry could not resist. Glad to hear it..
Jo, it is kinda hard to keep track of everyone here..lol, have to keep going back and reading again.. Hope everyone has a wonderful day and hugs to those I have missed here.
{{Stormy}} So glad you have a diagnosis on the leg. Let's work on that and wait for the rest at the end of the month. Yeah!!
EMJO!!! Help us celebrate by giving us one of your better stories....been missing them.
ASG....hurry up and write.....how's the hover round going??
YR, Vic, Heidiho, (((Shawna))), catch us up when ypu can...........
Going back to bed. Stomach has finally settled down.............zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
stormy........glad to hear you have a diagnosis. I thought that was what was going on with Dad's leg with the way you described it. At least now there is a plan of action that you can follow.
The worst of the storm has moved through so I guess I will try and get some sleep now. Heather here tomorrow. Friday's are a big day for the col. It's bath and hair wash day, all laundry is washed and dried, her bedding is changed. And she tries so hard to get the girls to take her to the grocery store but she is just not able to do that kind of walking anymore. She didn't even try to sneak out to the garden today after Ronda left. And I hope she stays in bed all night. She has been getting up at o'dark thirty and eating toast made from sourdough bread. She loves that stuff and I told her tonight that if she didn't go a little easier on it, one of these days I was going to find her wrapped in plastic and looking like a loaf of sourdough! She devoured the last loaf in 2 days. All she does is eat and I can't figure out where she is putting all this food. But she has gained weight and looks a lot better now since we got her on different meds.
Hope everyone is snoozing now..........will check in later on today. Sounds like the second part of the storm is here.
Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
I am very tired, like all of you, so there is nothing new under the sun. And under the poop.
vic - missing my man too - and all I have is a cat to look after - dad pop a wheelies??? he must be feeling better and ur mum sounds like mine - stand up from the sofa and she would plump the cushions under you -try diluting the peroxide more -one tbsp in 30 or 40 tbps water - until it is comfortable. I do 1 in 10 now with no problems and haven't had an infection in over a year and -seem to not need antihistamines any more - awesome - don't recognise my own nose
seeme - time off tomorrow???? Yeay!!!! - I will forever think of ur mum as the coast guard now, sitting on the toilet with as ciggy - sort of a popeye look lol
YR - way to go!!!
jam glad the hairdresser will come to the house -soooo much easier
magic dust to Shawna to sell lots
starri - getting sorted out? the foul ups must be getting tiresome
asg, 54, john, and everyone else out there - have a good nite
love, hugs and prayers ♥♥♥
jo
ladee - internet and computer tomorrow - woot woot!!!! - you are a hoot!!!
ros - good hearing from you - r u getting caught up on ur sleep?
Let's see what else did he tell us. Think, Think, Think that's what lil red says. Ok dr said that the swollen calf muscle above where the cellulitis is has nothing to do with the cellulitis. And we asked him what does mechanical mean in medical terms and he said it means a blockage. He told us the last time that we were there that the swollen lymph node in his groin area was mechanical. We didn't know what the sh$# that meant. When you say mechanical to me I think of a machine and my daddy is no machine from the last looks I had of him! And the gallstones he said nothing could be done for them. No meds for them. Nothing to get rid of them. He said let's just hope that your dad doesn't need gallbladder surgery he said because that would be a really bad surgery for your dad to have to go through as weak as he is. And about the groin lymph node. He said to wait until the dr that is on vacation to come back to do the biopsy of the lymph node. So I guess it is another wait and see game. That dr will not be back in until aug 30th. Hell at least we found out what was going on with his leg. I will take that for now!!!!!! I will try to address everyone a little later on tonight if not tonite then tomorrow. I love ya'll thank you for your concern, support and prayers and mostly your love!!! (((((((((HUGS)))))))) Stormyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Sis just got off the phone and can't leave at dawn tomorrow, but she should be here by midnight anyway. We'll keep tabs on her during the day. I already have plans to go out to breakfast with Kathy and her sil, who is director of the wedding, on Monday. And Kathy TOLD me I was going, didn't even ask. Sounds good to me....
YR, saw you answered on the guilt thread......gutsy you......I just didn't have the energy....whole thing made me tired..............
Stormy......we are waiting gain........keep us posted......I think that is why we are so quiet.......waiting right along with you.........
Rosella........My mom was never in any military service, but my dad was in the Navy, Hubby in the AF, a nephew now in the Army, another in the Coast Guard. Guess she thought about it when she was younger.....I don't know.......but I liked emjo saying the Coast Guard needed to straighten out Ladee's phone call this morning......hahahahaha
Gotta clean mom's bathroom......fun, fun, fun.....never ends.............later
Dad seems better...he had appt with urologist this morning as he has had prostate cancer and they keep a good check on him. His urine was cloudy so they will culture and let me know.
Got home cooked them dinner and he just now finished his water...worse than a kid! Arghhh....bathroom break and had to turn off tv so he would do arm exercises the OT gave him.
Maybe I can get a little down time .... Hubby won't be here for two weeks and I am already stressed..oh well.
Have many blessings and it sure could be worse. Mom is running around washing clothes..where did they come from! I did them yesterday! If one towel is dirty...it has to be washed! All my buttons must be short circuited today! Lol
Stormy I start from you because you are the one who makes me worry more, at the moment. What you are facing is unbelievable. It's a science fiction movie! Or a nightmare, if you prefer. I hope that you find very soon a good doctor who tells you what to do and what not; it is very important that you find the best treatment for your father very quick! And I see that your sister and you are doing the possible and the impossible, but you have to have the right directions! I am so sorry and I hope that the situation gets clearer in the next days. About lasix: I am afraid to do it! I am 54 years old and I start to be afraid of the surgery. When I was younger I had to have 3 or 4 operations and I faced them with no problems. Now, I am scared... I have to change my contact lenses anyway.
Starri: my mother sleeps in the living room and with the TV. She can't follow the programs anymore. She thinks people of the TV are real. If she sees children playing, she says: "Send these children away, they make too much noise". If she sees Temperance Brennan (Bones) she says: "That lady has told us we have to go away.". So I have found a channel where they transmit non stop "Will and Grace", "Dharma and Greg", "Hot in Cleveland", things like this, and she can watch them with no pain and worry... But she doesn't really follow! My mother is in a stage similar to Seeme's mother. She is completely out of this world!
Seeme how I understand you. Your telephone call with Ladee was hilarious! Ladee you have to settle in the new house soon and have some rest!!!! And don't kill the postman when he wants to deliver you mail.
Jo, I thought telephone pranks like the one that you had were a phenomenon of Italy only. I see that stupidity is international!!!!
I have another name for the horse: (if Gary wants something related to western movies): Clementine! Wasn't Clementine a character in a movie with James Stewart and she was Grace Kelly? I like that name, it is very sweet and when Gary is angry he can call her "Clem!!!"
Jam, thanks for you concern about my personal problems. My mother doesnt' remember anything of that morning, this is one of the advantages of her disease, because when I "lost it" in my car, at 6 in the morning, I seemed Linda Blair in the Exorcist. I didn't spew green things, but for the rest I was exactly like her! I was perfectly normal when I arrived at the hospital, (I think we have developed a capacity to react to stress which makes us real superwomen)
Kisses kisses everybody! Kisses to all the other ladies that I didn't mention.
I don't know if you notice from my posts and from the number of movies and TV series that I know, that I have the TV on 24/7. I "hear" it while I work!
So haven't been home yet, it should be installed, that is if Seeme got the order right... and the computer tomorrow, so I will be bothering the crap out of all of you....
Love to everyone, and I will have time to get caught up on everyone tomorrow so sorry if I haven't been supportive, ya'll know I would if I knew what was going on, and this morning proved that I do NOT.... hugs across the miles.... Thanks for seeing the humor in your stupid friend Seeme, made my day.... love ya
Glad the Col can get her hair done at home. Mom's came to the house once, too, after she got out of the hospital. Someone could make a lot of money doing that, adding fuel to the charge, because some would be so thankful for not having to get out, or they can't get out. Mom feels better when her hair is done.
Hope everyone has a good day and a smile on your face.........later
seeme......that is hilarious! Sonny must be rubbing off on ladee! I hope they get her hooked up soon before she goes off the deep end. On second thought.................
Trying to get myself moving....haven't felt good for a couple of days, but that will pass I'm sure.
My hair stylist is going to come to the house to cut the col's hair! That's a good thing. It's supposed to rain the next few days and that way I don't have to get her out in it. She will be cozy in her own home with a new trim.
Hope everyone is feeling well and looking forward to a great day......will check back later.
Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
time to get the coast guard to sort it out!!!!
sounds like the time the dog dialed my daughter long distance
he must have knocked the receiver off and stepped on the speed dial - i saw the receiver off and went to pick it up and heard Hello" so I said Hello, who is this. My daughter answered Me - You called? I said No
then we figured that the dog dun it.
almost as good as the time in the middle of the night when I was helping oldest son John with his Gd 12 math homework at 2 in the am - the phone rang
me "hello"
him "Is that Mary the whore?"
me (politely) "No, You must have the wrong number" -and hung up
a few minutes later the phone rang and again :"Is this Mary the whore?"
me "No, I told you last time you must have the wrong number,"
him "But this is the number I have been given for Mary the whore."
me emphatically - "There is no Mary here! please check the number."
then I hung up and waited and told son John if it rang again to pick it up and say in his gruffest voice This is Mary's husband -what do you want?
but it didn't ring
I just had the laugh of the day.........I am cleaning up the kitchen from breakfast, mom sleeping in her chair and the phone rings.......I have caller ID, so I see it is LADEE!!! What is she calling me so early for??? Did she get internet already today?? Is she so excited she has to tell someone??? This is how the conversation went---------
Me: "Hello !!" **rather excitedly**
Ladee: "Hello !!" ** Who the hell answers the phone like that?** "I'm calling about internet service."
Me: **She must be pulling a funny on me** "So...did you get it already?"
Ladee: **What idiot did I get a hold of?** "No, I don't have internet !! You're supposed to get it for me!!" **This lady is too stupid for this job!!**
Me: **Is this for REAL??!!?? What is her problem??** "LADEE, this is SUE!!!" **Don't you know who YOU called?**
Ladee: **Who the hell is SUE?** "Uummmm.........?"
Me: **Damn, just talked to her last night!!** "Seeme Sue!! What's going on?" **I don't think she knows who I am yet!!**
Ladee: "Oh, I didn't know whose telephone number this number was, so I dialed it."
**Starting to laugh......**
Me: **Shaking my head and laughing** "Are you going to be able to find your way to work?"
Ladee: **Laughing...** "I AM at work!"
Me: **Wondering which one is the PATIENT today..........laughing........** "My internet doesn't reach that far!!"
We got to laughing so hard we could hardy understand each other. I am begining to think it is too late for her. Her internet jonesing has gotten away from her and she is in Coherent, could even be in Sane, she IS still driving..... She can't wait to see what I posted about it. She will probably get hauled off by the men in little white coats when she reads this in the library today.........let's all say a little prayer for her today..............later.............
Seeme, escape outside if you can for a while, it was wonderful here yesterday, feels great this morning.. will try and get outside myself for a while.. Does your mom think she's still in the Navy/CG? Mom was a telephone operator, back in the days of the switchboards..lol, a workman's comp rep.. and we would always hear the same stories over and over again, I just nodded, hmmm'd at the appropriate places..lol.. she never could get over the round bales of hay vs. the oblong..
I've had one of those "muddy waters" nights..lol, only it wasn't there, came to the next morning, my boot heel in my pocket, no signs of my boots, but someone elses cowboy boots under the coffee table..and someone elses shirt on... guess I had a really fun night, and don't remember it..lol..
Looks to be a beautiful day today. I am getting ready for sis to come and take over for me. Mom is getting tiring. Didn't realize how exhausting it is to listen to all the BS ( and I don't mean banana split). Mom wanted to get out of the Navy or Coast Guard, whatever she was in, she is ready to retire. Just cause whe was in it didn't mean she had to like it......OOKKAAAAAYYY......
Stormy, glad to hear things are moving in the right direction. Good luck with the doctors today.....keep us posted....
Shawna........customers are coming your way!!!!
Vic....how are things going?
Heidi....did you take the folks to Forest Park Botanical Gardens? I love to walk down the Lacledes Landing area. Don't know if I spelled that right. Had a lot of fun at "Muddy Waters" one night......at least I am told I did......hahahahahaha
Everyone please check in.........seems like I have been too wrapped up in things here and I am bored by my own situation. Please share yours so I can get out of this funk..........navy or Coast Guard.....I get seasick............
up early here but will get a nap later I hope though i have a doc apptmt in midafternoon - just some paperwork for something and a check of my latest thyroid results and requisition for tests for my annual
starri - glad u got it figured out about the antid's and are making progress
ros glad u checked in
Jam -re a name for the horse - as I was throwing up and dizzy and gary had just come back from his trip to the mountains with his son and was getting ready for his stint at camp (work that is) -and we only had a few hours - we didn't get to it - he should be home in a couple of days - for how long who knows - I will tackle him on it again
when I have mentioned names I haven't seen a reaction other that he has a black beauty so I am wondering as much as you are - haven't told him about calamity jo yet lol
thinking of you all - have a good day ♥♥♥
jo
Ros, hope mom is doing better, and you have calmed down. Jo, you still getting better? I found out one of the reasons I have been such a cry baby here recently, I apparently ran out of my anti's and didn't realize it, knew something wasn't right with my pillboxes, but could not figure out what it was... was crying on hubbys tummy last night, and it popped into my head..lol.. called the pharmacy, told the lady I needed my script, she ask when I wanted to pick it up, told her yesterday and she said she'd have it ready in 5 minutes..lol.. Got to love Walgreens.
Bailed out the truck yesterday, 200.00, but brother is going to split some of the cost, not much cause I won't let him, it was hubby's idea to have it towed, and fixed at the mechanic's, he did that for a living and my brother could have at least helped hand him tools... so we're eating the cost of towing, half the repair bill on the master cylinder, and then it was my idea for the oil change and plugs, so we'll eat that cost also..
Ladee? what is up with the no internet? are you having a phone put in at the BS? or using satellite or cable tv? any one of those can furnish you with internet.. a lot of your cell phone companies have data plans now, some reasonable some not so.. Glenn got us hughes net for here at home, on the pricey side, but it's high speed, you might look into that as well. Hope you are getting settled in... miss having you here.
Big hugs to all.
seeme -ur mum wants a ciggi????
ros - OH my -how stressful - and now having to fight with mum more (((((hugs))))
jam i found some fabrics hold toonie hair more than others and had to change ny duvet cover - that microsuede stuff is awful
ladee - we got to get u internet at the BS
starri - r u still making progress?
vic, Heidi, YR, asg, shawna, john, everyone else -sure i have forgotten someone
have a good n ight and a better day tomorrow
love, hugs and prayers ♥♥♥
jo
Vic and Seemie thank you for your advice and concern. sis has made some calls today and we are suppose to get him in to see someone at moore reginal hosptal. Waiting on a appt time now......
Jam-thank you for helping me through all of this. Love you all!!!
Now it looks like we might be having a bigger problem with dads leg. Yesterday when we got back to dads from the dr. my sis was so freaked out about what he said about dad needing to see someone asap about his leg that she started doing stuff to his leg. First she washed it (that was fine) Second she dried it (that was fine) Third she put neosporin on it ( that was fine) Fourth, she put a drain sponge on his leg which is like a gauze but softer with more padding. (WRONG THING TO DO!) I asked him today is your leg hurting today and he said yes some. And he asked me to look at it. Which i was going to do that anyway. I took his sock off and there was the pad STUCK TO HIS LEG. I tried wetting the pad to get it loose that didn't work and then I tried a wet cloth that didn't work either. Finally I had to get a pan of water and a cup and start pouring the water over his leg to wet the pad to loosen it up to where i could take it off of him. I finally got it off. But now it has a area that looks like the starting of a ulcer. White and wet looking.EEK!!!!! I put some neosporin on the area and left it alone. Nothing on it. No socks or pads. He has got to see someone fast before this gets outta hand. My bil is a bad diabetic and has had cellulitis in his foot before and he told my sis his wife that if your dad loses his leg he will not last long.......... We freaked out....................
These are such dumbasses for doctors that we have down here. It is a damn shame. Instead of there oath "Do no harm" it should be "Do no Help" because we sure as shit have not gotten no help. Jam you know I'm not talking about your hubby. Just these shit for brains down here!!!!!!!! Excuse my French!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just sick of not knowing anything and then we feel like these drs know what is going on with him and they just won't tell us. They have all the answers and we have none and we can't make them tell us what they find if they don't want to. I just do not understand it and maybe I'm not suppose too. But they are going to wait around here with their fingers stuck up their ass and let his leg rot off. I need a voodoo doll made out of each one of his drs. anybody make voodoo dolls? I'LL PAY YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well I guess i will check in later my lil internet angels!!!!!!!!!! Take care ya'll, Love and hugs Stormyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy......