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ooops hit the wrong button - starri -leg still hurting a little so can't do any marathons -swimming would prob be as good as anything - something for free in this burg - not likely - money, money, money - used to be some hotels gave you a shot at the pool if you took the sunday buffet but not any more -200 bucks for a spa day will do it or rent a room - prob about 150 there and use the pool - then the pool sits there empty most of the time!!!

seeme u r absolutely right - haven't they got a job to do other than harassing people who r giving excellent caregiving???

YR wondering how u r

anyone -I have a sinus infection remedy that costs pennies -I had sinus infections for years -first one when I was 7 and 3-4 times a year in my adulthood and as many anitbiotics till they didn't work any more and no doubt contributed to this candida infection, anyway if anyone is interested I will post or email - I have been free of infection for well over a year now and if one comes on, it goes just as quickly -wish I had known it years ago

luv and hugs♥♥♥
Jo
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Stormy, Sorry about the news. I used to be the office manager at Southco Distributing Co. They cater to small mom and pop stores and convenience stores. Do you remember seeing any of their trucks on the road? I know they had customers in your town. I quit there to take care of mom full time. After 4 and a half years, I still count 2 of the women there as good friends. And you would be surprised at the training a job like that can give you. You could get jobs in customer service, as cashiers, sales associates, inventory control, and maybe even accounts payable or receivables. See? You know more than you thought you did !!
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Hi for those of you that are my friends on FB please do not say anything about our family business closing up. We do not know yet when we are going to start telling the public. But we know that once we do that things or the business will suffer even more because people will be going else where once they learn that we will be closed down. So for now we are keeping it under our hats. Just our lil' secret for now. Thanks Ladies!!! Love and Hugs Stormy.
Emjo- I sure hope you are right. About us finding a job when the time comes for us to start looking. The way the economy is right now and with jobs so scarce it is a bit scary to think about.....
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starri
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Stormy, any info on Dad? that is rough losing something like that, it's tough now a days to keep a small store going, I try and go to them as I find them, they have soul and personality. Not like these box stores.

Lonken, I'm sorry to hear that it's reached that state, but it does eventually, where you can not care for them at home any longer. It's a hard decision to make but a decision on what's best for the both of you.

Jo, Thanks for the good thoughts, hope you are feeling better and that muscle has quit hurting. I'm with you Jo, it's either the creek or YMCA..would rather have the ymca.. Is there a hotel/motel near by with a pool? maybe you can make bud's with one of the folks there and get them to let you use their pool.

Ladee, my dear, what in the world has you feeling like you do? I like what you said about the problem not being the problem, it's your attitude about it....Jam? where are you? I'm with Seeme, it's a sad thing when our government thinks it's ok to screw with someone that is doing good, and won't take the time to check on those that are not. We miss you.

Heidi, Hi-Fives for you, I don't know that I could do that on a regular basis..

Big Hugs for all, and for all of you that haven't checked in, in a while, please do and let us know how you are.
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(((((Hugs)))) to all who are hurting

ladee I know you need some rest -

stormy - this is a huge change for u and I can imagine ur brain is in a whirl -and ur sisters. - good for dad for accepting that it has to close. u both are resourceful hardworking people and I am sure u will figure something out for employment - those years in the store were not wasted,

lonken - I and the other understand where u r at. I know the sacrifices and costs are huge. Look into a nursing home or Assisted Living as the Alz will not get better and she will likely need more and more care. you and your girls need a life too and your girls need their mum and your hubby needs his wife if I have the timing right one girl is heading into the teens which can be diffficult times for all. Do you have POA as that you assist you in managing her resources. There are others here with more experience in those things than I.

Starri - u will be OK. just go with the flow and be good to u

seeme - are ur ears still hurting - like the judy attitudy!

ros - glad u got to swim - i want to!!!! It does me a world of good too. - but have to go to the YMCA

all - holding you up in prayer

love and hugs♥♥♥
Joan
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Jam, So many times we hear "God will bless you in the hereafter for what you are doing" but sometimes I want my blessing now. Thank you for asking how I am. Lots of times we caregivers don't get that.

I had a hard today with gran. She's 87 and has Alz. She does well on most days. But today???? I sell BeautiControl and had set up a booth for the afternoon at a merchants' day trying to draw buyers to our downtown. I told her when I left: where I was, what I was doing, and when I'd be back. She called my cell phone a few hours later asking who I was and what I had done with all those people who lived with her. I finally about 30 minutes later I got home to find that she had dumped her leftovers from lunch onto the top shelf of the refrigerator. I had a mess of coleslaw and beans to clean up.

I said I'd let her stay with me and my family (I have two girls, 11 and 6) until I couldn't take care of her anymore. I'm afraid that point is about here. I cannot make my family sacrifice more than they already have. She's been with us around 5 years. We've not been on a family vacation since before then. She'll either have to fork over the money for someone to come stay with her when I go back to work (I sub teach at the schools) or go to a nursing home. I burned out. I'm physically, financially, and emotionally spent. We cannot do it alone anymore.

Thanks for listening.
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Well Hello my peeps I hope all is well. Just wanted to let ya'll know that I got some sad news today and NO IT'S NOT ABOUT DAD. I didn't want ya'll to get the wrong idea. We won't know anything until next week I'm sure. They can't tell you anything about the scan the drs have to do that. So first let me tell ya'll a little bit of me, sis and dads life. It won't be a long story. I promise... Well for over 50 years my dad has ran, owned, and managed a kind of mom and pops grocery store. Not as big as some of the well known grocery stores but bigger than a conv. store. My sis and I have worked at this store since we both were 16 yrs. old. We wanted to help dad run the store so we did. Today my sis told me that we were going to have to close the store for good. That she just did not have the money to keep it going because business is so awful and slow. I have not worked up there since I went out on maturity leave about 2 weeks before lil' red was born. I have helped out some up there on different occasions. But I cried the last day I worked before I went out with lil' red. I knew things would never be the same after I left. For me that is. So sis talked to dad last night and told him that she just couldn't keep running it because there was no money. So dad told her to just close it up at the end of the month. I still can't believe it!!! Kinda in shock about the whole thing. It is going to be so sad to ride by our store everyday and know that it is the end of an era for us. I just feel like everything is crashing down around all of us at once. I thought one day I would go back to work up there but then dad got sick and I got a new full time day job. Looking after him. So now sis is going to be out of a job and when and if anything happens to dad I will be out of a job too. And me and sis have never worked anywhere else except at our dads grocery store. Not really sure what I will do. Sis says that she will probably go take the course for a cna's job. Not to sure I will want to do something like that but if it pays pretty good I might have to do something like that. Just kinda been in a weird mood today. I guess with all that is going on. So I'm sorry this turned out to be a long story. Just wanted to fill ya'll in on what is going on in my crazy life.......... Much love and Bunches of bear hugs to each and every one of you! stormy
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Nothing is wrong stormy, just forget I said anything, just venting..
How is your dad?? Any news??? I hate that you are having this drag on and on, when you simply need answers.....with my mom, we never did get an answer and my dad refused an autopsy, which all of us found strange, but that is another story....
Hope everyone is having a decent evening... more later after I take something for my backache.. Marie was a hard to please lady today, and Sonny was being stubborn, first time he has ever done this with me.... so, a little piece of what is yet to come I am afraid, oh well, I signed on for it, hugs to everyone..
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Stormy, How did it go with dad? Any idea when you will hear anything?
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Thanks, Heidi. I'm always needing an attitude adjustment.,,,,,usually about a size 14.....I have a spoiled great-niece I call "Judy Attitudy" when she cops one.....could it be a case of the pot calling the kettle?????????
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Ladee, I'm with Rosella what is going on? Has something happened to you too like Jam. It sounds awfully familiar. Please let me know here or on my fb. I am worried about you. (((((Hugs))))) I don't like it when my pals are sad.... Love ya Stormy.
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Heidi I like the postive things you post,,, I had someone tell me one time, " the problem is not the problem, your attitude toward the problem is the problem", don't know if that makes sense or not, but it made sense to me... I have to work on how my mind gets bogged down in the problem sometimes, so that is why I appreciate reminders.... hugs to you..
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Nah - no meds. Had to change my attitude (for today it's working anyway) or else one or all of us might not make it to see tomorrow LOL!
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Well said, Ladee.

And Heidi, I am not jumping on you and your happy attitude. I would love to have that outlook, but it is very hard when you are too tired to care. I already take meds and wonderif you are, too? I go to doc Monday, maybe I will ask. BP has been going up steadily, but I do take meds. It is the situation......
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Ladee I have missed something. Can you write me 2 lines on a message on Fbook and tell me what happened? thanks
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Hey everyone, I need to express my feelings and thoughts about some things going on... I am so sad and so confused. Things were said, someone addressed it from their own perspective, another thread was started, this one. And here we are months later, mess still going on, name calling, ugly remarks, and to what end?
The ones I feel the worst for are not those involved, but the new people coming on any thread here and reading this mistrust, the ugly remarks, and wondering if this is a safe place to put what is going on in their life... it may be cyber space, but some how someway, there has to be a loving compromise and take the new people into consideration.... this world we live in has so much misery going on... things out of people's control, they are suffering, war, famine, floods, droughts, the economy.... and on and on... and yet here we are, participating in something that a hundred years from now will not make any difference to anyone.... I for one, feel, if we can't contribute to the solution, then we are choosing to be part of the problem.... I have friends on this sight, not just this thread, that are carrying such a load, they are so exhausted, one who is grieving her son, one who is worried out of her mind about not getting a straight answer about her dad, one who posts positive things and we all feed off of it because it is so refreshing...and many more just too tired, too broke, too stressed and wondering how to put one foot in front of the other....those are my concerns... where are these people going to go when they get tired and weary from more stress ......
Can't we all just call a truce? Let it all go and start over? Maybe I am being naive in thinking it is that simple, but how we respond to this speaks volumes about who we really are..... What we stand for, and what we are willing to fall for... As I said, I have people I care about all over this sight..... maybe if we tried harder to just care about each other, instead of drawing lines in the sand and choosing sides, or saying things that are simply meant to hurt and cause more problems....Just something for each and every one of us to think about... love you all, prayers for a resolution.....
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Seeme, very, very, very good post.
Stormy, I hope the test gives good results... Try to relax until you have the results.
Ladee I went to swim this morning! the sun was very hot, the water was very fresh... Wonderful!
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Heidi, If you wake up every morning and go through every day that happy, I want some of what you're on..........just sayiing........
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Stormy, right about now you are sitting in the radiologist dept waiting for the PET scan. I put an angel on your shoulder, hope you feel her........and I hope you get home before any rain starts.......don't even know how you manage to get him from one place to another...........

Bridget, hope you read us all the time. We can get a little crazy, but a little crazy here is a good thing.....much better than throwing things.......that is just fun........

Got a skype call from my fave niece a while ago. Got to see her 7 mo old boy stand up in his PaknPlay. This is the baby I was carrying when I fell in May tripping over his car seat. None the worse for wear.........him that is.......I just go to the chiro. Life does go on.................

Thinking about Jam today........Ya know something? If a case worker would have been a fly on my walls today, these are some of the things she would have heard.... "I've been yelling for an hour and no one will answer me" (reality - 1 min maybe), "I know you left me all alone" (reality - took a shower), "Now I have a headache from yelling for you all night" (reality- all BS, Kathy was here), "You keep me locked up in this room all the time!" (reality - she wanted to lay down to take a nap, gave her a pain pill, and raised the bedrail). Makes you wonder what that fly may think, doesn't it? But when they walk into a nice clean house, patient's own clean room, all the supplies they need, and their own bathroom, a clean patient, it makes you wonder why they aren't on the walls of some houses where elders are alone, trying to care for themselves, and checking into their cupboards and fridges for food, checking for A/C or fans in this heat, and making the system WORK for a change. Nooooooo, let's terrorize a well-cared for dementia patient, scare the shit out of her, cause trouble for the caregivers and relatives and call it a good day's work. Sucks, doesn't it...........our tax dollars at work..............

Time to post this before I get on another soapbox.........later.....
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Good afternoon ladies! It never ceases to amaze me what waking up and choosing joy can do for one's outlook and attitude! I ,somehow in the throws of caregiving, forgot about that!

Put the gloves on and dove into the bathroom. You would think that previously owning an inn and a restaurant I would be immune to the personal bathroom habits or lack there of (I know, they are sick and elderly) or people but I still am not. Vacuumed the house (I think I vacuumed 40 chiwawas - my poor New England dog, Magnolia, moving here to Missouri is shedding terribley) and even got my MIL's nails clipped!! Feeling good. Feeling positive.

I send prayers to all who are having a hard time today and who's loved ones are suffering - physically, emotionally or spiritually. Love - Heidi
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Bridget, I know what you mean, this thread is what has kept me going the last month and half to two months. I feel so blessed and thankful that I just happened to find it. I feel like I have a new family in all of these ladies. They have really helped me through a very difficult time in my life and are still doing so. I just love everybody here for your support and love!!! Love, stormy
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Love reading this thread..!! Wish I had this site when I was in the throes of care giving with my mother, not in "recovery" from it. I continue to learn and feel blessed from all of you daily. I learn for you and translate to my client's and let my clients know about this site daily it is so valuable to me.

Caregivers United..!! Have a Blessed Day..!!!

Bridget
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Good Morning Ladies, I just wanted to ask everyone that if they had a story about some of your loved ones that was diagnosed with cancer and if it spread to the lymph nodes. To share your stories with me. The pet scan is scheduled for 2:00 this afternoon. But we probably will not hear anything until maybe monday sometime if then. So keep your fingers crossed and please say a little prayer for daddy and us. Thank you for being there for me through all of this mess. I will talk to everyone later on tonight probably. Love and hugs stormy
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Hi all..been a few days...had to catch up on all the posts! We are a busy bunch! Thoughts and prayers to all of you. Yay for you ladee!
I think I am finally getting over this sinus infection. Really sucks when you are all achey yuck. Makes everything else that much more intense. Feeling better emotionally too.
We have had a few days of what has become normal. But dad has been awake on and off since 1:30 this morning..whew.. He has been talking off the wall and calling to say off the wall things and seeing bugs crawling on wall again. Wonder if it is the meningioma in his brain causing this since he isn't on any pain meds just Tylenol now at night.
I decided to call doc to see if he would order home health again as I think it may help. I think having pt,st,ot come my help him to work a little more. Maybe they can help his muscles relax a little. At least it would break the cycle of him and I struggling with each other and maybe make mom feel a little better emotionally. As I think worries more and more. I am glad she find strength in prayers. We aren't getting along real well right now ... Too much closeness and too much alike! Lol course I am the one who is bitchy, frustrated and angry all the time. Have to REALLY work on patience and calmness. I did get to my house for an hour yesterday, helped to have a changed of scenery. Maybe it will work out that I can spend a little time there today. I pray everyone has the best day possible.
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Good Morning Seeme, sounds like you are in a good mood today, I hope that it keeps up for you.. Don't know why I am but I am sleepy still, had a good nights sleep..

Having been a drunk, I can tell you their not easy to deal with, since getting sober, their even worse for dealing with, and a mean drunk? I will not deal with, have no problem what so ever in having their butts hauled off if they will not take them off themselves.

My brother (our current resident drunk) offered to come over and help out with Mom, baby brother had not started back drinking yet, I told him thanks, but we could handle it, really could have used his help at least a night or two aweek, but he would have brought the sister in law, and those two are like oil and water when together.. Mom didn't need that kinda stress. nor did I need the extra work, I would have had to be there, making sure they weren't showing their asses around Mom, so if I had to be there, might as well have peace while I was there.

Well, think that I am going to go lay down for a while longer, and then get up and get something done..don't know what, but something..lol..
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Morning All,

Starri, Gonna be hot here again and maybe some rain this afternoon....can only hope..........

Stormy, sorry to hear about the lump under dad's arm. PET scan today....finally.

So glad hubby is a cop. I feel you are a lot safer just knowing that. No telling what can happen with bro this weekend. Just tell him to leave if he can't do this sober with thoughts for someone else besides himself. Drunks piss me off. Mean drunks should be shot.

Jam, keeping the light on as Ladee says.....

Ladee gonna clean her BS......Ladee gonna clean her BS.....lalalalalaaaala

MJ, stick around and see what happens in the chronicles of Caregiving on YOU...

Aaaahhhhhhh mom calls.....like music to my ears........more like my ears just started bleeding...............later.............
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Thank you Ladies, and Good Morning to you. Mj, welcome to the thread, post if you wish, read if you wish, both will help. How is everyone?

Ladee ? did you end up going back over to the Shady BS? lol, i know that with your temper as high as it was, you were probably worn out, but the temptation to just go sit in it would have been almost to high for me to resist, just sit there sip on a drink and look around..lol..

I do that alot, like with the camper, I might not do more than just open the door get enough crap out I can get in and just sit there and visualize what it is I want to get done. Kinda like building blue prints in my mind. People think that I am nuts..

right now, I've been building calculations on how much I can get where if I move what..lol, figured out if I collect up and move all of the "tools" hubby has in the camper out to his new tool box, that will free up a lot of room, tighten up on the area under the bed, that will open up some. After that, next step is shopping, if I can keep my silly ass from crying..lol..

Was just checking out the weather forecast, says rain for like the next 6 days.. back to the sauna we go.. Rain is wonderful, keeps the lakes up, but turns the drive into a mud puddle. Oh, well, stuff happens.
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Ladee, I am happy you had the right place where to place your new home. Under a tree seems good; just remember to prune the tree when it's necessary! Tks for your concern... I love my job and it really helps, when you are tired and you have to stay awake. I hadn't any time to go to the swpool this week, but I will definitely go tomorrow. By the way, the weather has been bad. It's sunny again, now.
Stormy, I am afraid your brother has so many problems of his own that he can't be of any use. If I were you, I would just forget that he can help you in this very delicate stage of your father's illness. I am afraid that your sis and you will have to deal with it yourselves (and you are already lucky - you are 2!)
Starry it is normal and healthy that you cry. I remember when my father died that I had to be strong while I was near my mother, but when I was alone I cried a lot and I spent months cleaning my house! It was as clean as it will never be anymore. I came home from the office, and I started to clean, until 2 or 3 in the night, and then I tried to sleep a few hours and then I got up to go to the office. I heard of many people that when they are in stress and in pain, they clean. I don't know why. Maybe because it's very tiring and it shifts the pain from your soul to your body... I don't know. Any sorrow have to be digested, and not denied! The more you take it out, the sooner you heal... I still miss my father a lot, after 16 years, and I still cry for him, but of course I have learned how to live without him.
Big kiss to everyone else... I have to take a night breakfast and work! (it's 5, here, almost morning)
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Well Ladies I guess I could call the law. But I wouldn't have to go far to do that since I am married to a COP!!!!! Hubby is a lieutenant. He works for the police dept. of the town that we live in. Lucky me huh??? So I guess I could just call home and say come and pick up this drunk ass brother of mine before we both go to jail and before you have to bail me out hubby.... LOL Stormy...
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