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Ruth would probably have gone for the rectal therapy!
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here you are - mule deer/white tail cross - load up your holsters with that

the pronghorns are on my other computer -

nothing like as far out, ladee, as what you gals go through sometimes - truth really is stranger than fiction
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Just thought of something tho, since my charge broke my leg I am a little off balance, now what are the odds I would trip, antlers get twisted and I impaled MYSELF..... Gary must put a disclaimer on all antlers.... and those of you who knew Ruth, knew she would rip those things off my head and do ME some serious damage, God I miss her...
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There ya go Jam, and they do stuff in hospitals that are a lot more scary so yes, let's get a patent on that,,, I think there is one already on pillows,,, but Gary could be setting on (again, excuse the pun) a medical gold mine.....
On many occasions we have asked our friends on AC if they got up and strapped their pillows on like a six gun..... yes, it gets twisted, and a tad too far out there at times, but that's what happens in Caregiver Hell.....
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hmmm - you would like the mule/white tail cross ones - they have an extra spike on them and though smaller the pronghorns have a nice curve to them...
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OMG......rectal therapy....I'm still rolling.......geez that's funny, especially the visual.....
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The first 15 should be free, then as it catches on, then charge for them, excuse the pun!!! I don't have the extra money to buy any and Styrofoam antlers just do not have the same "scare factor".... but tell Gary we are most interested....
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LOL - Gary has a barn full of antlers somewhere - I should take orders lol - I will post pics of the pronghorn heads in my soup pot on facebook!

love the wild imaginations you all have!!! antler therapy!!!

hey don't think everyone else isn't thinking these things sometimes...just some have the courage to say them -

any of you related to jonathon winters by any chance?
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Or "rectal therapy" depending on what angle we come at them, or what they are doing when we decide to play..... And it will provide safe distance when we are changing pants... come on ya'll, think of the possibilities... the worst that is going to happen is we will hear " STEP AWAY FROM THE ANTLERS", no big deal, we've already been thru the worst and Seeme thinks jail is a spa, so we may as well take her word for it....anything to change our day to day scenery...
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As per my suggestion, it will now be called "antler therapy"... when the col tries something, just ask her , "now do you really want me to get the antlers?"
Really officer, I don't know why her heart stopped beating, we were just playing a game........and over she went....this is after the antlers are safely put away, you'll have time to do that before EMS gets there...
No officer I don't know why she has that look on her face, I could hear her screaming 'OH dear OH dear", ( when we all know she was screaming.... a deer, a deer) Maybe she was having a bad dream......
And yes Starri, this is how my mind works, when you suggested putting them on our elders, my mind went to putting them on us, think of the fun we could have....
And Jam, I don't think it would "exactly" be killing them, I lean more toward "over stimulation" and we had not been told of their recent heart condition complications...
They expect us to have a strong heart, strong stomach, strong back, so I think it is only fair that we get to have some fun sometimes..... they test the limits, I just feel that is what we would be doing..... testing their limits..... No??? No one ever lets me have any fun....I bet me coming in the door Monday morning with antlers on my head would get Marie up off her butt at least for a few minutes, Sonny would love it.. he'd want to put them on when we are in the yard picking up sticks.... and I would let him... just to watch Marie's eyes stick to her glasses....
Yes, I have officially entered the "dark side", it helps me to cope..... people may THINK they control us, but they can't stop what goes on in our minds.... deep sigh, I feel so much better... thanks for letting me share.... hugs.
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Jam never heard of the pillow procedure. But you sure have peaked my interest... Please tell me more!!!!! I'm at home today because the baby is sick and he is asleep now we didn't get alot of sleep last night. And now I've got to wake him up and drag him over to dads to do the feeding tube thing, check sugar, insulin, change canula and suction him and hopefully that is all and we can come back home and not get hung up over there. I'll read about the pillow procedure when I get back Jam maybe in a hour or so....LOVE!!!
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I'd put col on one point and Target on the other to even it out.........call it rectal therapy..........
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stormy......do you know about that wonderful procedure called "pillow therapy"? If not, I would be happy to explain it to you.

THE COL IS IN TIME-OUT FOR 25 YEARS! Screw the friggin fence around the yard.....I'm putting it around the walls of her house........I'm open to suggestions now please....................It's hotter than the hinges of Hades and I turned the sprinkler on to water the garden, oh around 45 min. I went out to turn it off, then thought I would check on the col and make sure she wasn't hungry, thirsty, whatever. I open the door and look at her and she's wet. Yep, she just had to have 2 PIECES OF LEAF LETTUCE. And then she starts telling me she's fine and doesn't need to change. I asked her what she thought would have happened if she had fallen and couldn't get up.............oh P----- (her dog) would pick me up, not good enough, tell me again what would have happened. Oh I would have called you. How could we have heard you when you were outside on the other side of the house and I never thought for one iota of a second that she would walk right out there in the sprinkler! I told her she is grounded to the inside of her house.....a ball and chain maybe? Then when I told HER SON he just sits there and laughs. I guess after it's all said and done, it is kind of funny. But she's still in time-out. I really need those antlers..................
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Ladeeda, "caregiver hell" so that's where I am!! hehe Stormy, don't worry about grossing us out. I think we are all some pretty tough one's. I did home care for 12 yrs for a hospice and I think I've seen it all.
Well, I'm gonna try a new recipe today, so I'll be back this evening, hopefully. I hope you all have a blessed Sunday.
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Emjo, you are sooo crazy!!! I don't need any cow patties right now, but thanks for the offer got enough sh#$ to deal with I don't want to add to it. Connor(little red) would have a ball with them patties I'm sure. Chasing me around the house with them!!! Yuck! I don't want no more gross stuff to have to touch, handle, or see. I'm praying that dad can keep on going to the bathroom on his own. Because if he doesn't that's where Stormy DRAWS THE LINE!!!!! The only shit I plan to clean up is mine and little reds. I've already gone far beyond what I thought I could ever do with all this mucus mess. Cleaning out False Teeth!!! That is another one that turns my stomach. I almost have to go to the toilet to gag or throw up. Dad will be thinking up some crazy shit for me to do. And I'm like come on you got to be kidding me... Please, Please don't ask me to do that. Like having to get a washrag and clean out( now get this) HIS BELLYBUTTON!!!! Who cleans out their bellybutton? Brush his teeth with ground up food everywhere...ewww. And clean out his ears with a rag. And don't even get me started on the FEET!!!!
Jam I like that idea about hiding behind the bed but his would have to be behind his chair because that's where he stays at all the time. I might have to borrow those antlers if you get hold of some.
Starri let me know if you and Jam decide to make all of us a video.I'm sure it would be funny as sh#$ with you girls. Ya'll have had me cracking up and laughing today. Sorry if I grossed ya'll out to bad. I figured I should share some of the fun I have at dads. LOL. ((((HUGS)))))
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That's not being silly, it's call therapy !!!
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I don't know what they would charge, but I'll pay shipping if you make a u-tube video..lol... had not thought about putting them on us, would work I believe...at least make us feel good..being silly
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We just want to scare them, not kill them..................on second thought I'm really starting to like that hiding by the bed......the col has plenty of room between the wall and the bed. I wonder what UPS charges to ship antlers?
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ladee lol lots of great images floating through my mind now - and moose eyes for supper starri ! lol

gary is fun and a great story teller - recently he stopped by a farmhouse to get to know the people there as he had pastured some horses nearby - he knocked on the door - a voice with a thick russian accent said " Coome in! I Russian, I no spik english, I alcoholic - you wanna beer?

he says he is going to boil pronghorn heads soon so I will take a pic of them - think he is happy to have a woman who doesn't freak out about them - just heard we may be going camping to another a**end of AB - AB has many of them - better get out the WD40 and oil my joints. Climbing in and out of a tent - especially in the middle of the night when u have to pee is not easy - last time we went to inflatable mattress didn't inflate lordy i will be 74 soon!!! he is just a baby at 60

texas here I come - he would be right at home there - grew up rasing cattle, won prises for bullriding, and it isn't summer until it hits the 90's = he loves the heat
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No, we need to put the antlers on ourselves and when the elders get out of control, just go charging across the room, and stop just in time to do no damage.... If that doesn't shut them up for a few minutes, then we are all doomed to Caregiver hell...
or we could just come screaming out of the other room at them, or hide by their bed and when they start complaining jump up and scream,,, oh, there's more where that came from but I seriously need to stop...
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your Gary sounds like he'd be fun to be around..lol, and you don't have to worry about running out of meats unless he pulls a bone headed stunt like mine did..

Bummer about the moose head going in the dumpster, I am sure gram would have loved it..many cultures eat everything on a animal.. I just can't picture myself sitting down to a plate of moose eyes and going yummmm.
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I like the idea of using them for ornaments - could have bull fights lol
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Gary hunts - among his many talents - you name it he has done it, If you check my photos on fb I think the deer skull and antlers are there - didn't get myself organized in time to take a pic of them sticking out of the pot - it was quite a sight. He shot the deer and the pronghorns - I am just waiting on a moose - like the meat better -Gordie got a moose and put its head in the freezer as his native gamma wanted parts to eat, The freakin' thing sat there till he got a ride to E''town. (Like what will we have for supper - open the freezer - Oh yeah - moose eyes) Then a guy gave hm a ride and dropped him off at the north end of town and said "Get the bus" Well gamma lives at the south end and my babes didn't have the courage to take the bus with a moose head under his arm and in any case he might have had to pay two fares lol so it went into the nearest dumpster. When they butchered that moose they hung the parts from the ceiling of the garage and put a blue tarp over the window. It looked like one of those Arnie movies - yu know aliens in a large meat freezer - i let the neighbourhood kids peak in - could have charged admission lol - freaked them right out and they loved it
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Jo, you are something else...a serious crack up, where the heck did you get all the antler's? maybe we could use them on some of the charges? tape them to their heads and crack up laughing everytime they got difficult..

I can just see someone walking in and seeing those antlers sticking out of your soup pot, would think you are brewing up some kinda potion...lol..
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seeme - throwing some cow pattie at you - great stories! the Condom Queen LOL - I was the cyber queen at work as I taught distance ed by videoconferencing - one day I was teaching the male reproductive system - note that I speak loudly and clearly when I teach - especially over distance ed - and in walked the head of facilities and the college vp saying - whats going on here - then they saw me and realized i was teaching - apparently they were out in the hallway and heard a few words and jumped to conclusions lol -the students (from one of our small native communities) got a real kick out of it as did I - I'll have to share my dick story - picture this - new class and I am taking attendance and have two male students both called Richard - when I have 2 students with the same name I ask if one has a nickname or uses the short form of their name so I can distinguish between them - so when i came to the second Richard i innocently asked "Is either if you a Dick?" The was a slight gasp from the class and then a hush - it was the first class so they did not know one another and we hadn't established any class "atmosphere". As soon as I heard myself I couldn't keep a straight face and had to turn to the blackboard to compose myself then I turned back, and one of the guys, with a slow grin speading across his face said "Well actually we both are!" - and the tension dissipated. On the basis of the dick story i was invited by a group of the guy teachers to their regular friday nite barfest at Moxies - I found that even funnier
There was a good one from another teacher who was teaching Biology and in particular asexual reproduction (you know - when those little creatures split in half to make more of them) . One student raised their hand as asked "Is masturbation asexual reproduction?" As smooth as can be, she answered -"Not unless you are very good at it" ahhhh good memories
mother now thinks another piece of jewellery has been stolen - the last time the cleaning lady fournd her ring under the sink then yesterday 3 more emails that the emails she is trying to send out to a seniors org complaining about the food situation where she is have been blocked. I say more likely blocked by the guy she is sending them too lol he has been very patient with her. This has happened before and it always sorts itself out. It is always someone else's fault. When I have sent emails with music she told me I send it with the music too loud. I explained to her that she had to adjust the volume on her computer. For the past few years her paranoia is growing slowly along with short term memory loss which only makes it worse I think and the habit of a lifetime of thinking negatively is showing more and more. I am sure there are places where stuff is stolen and she has experienced that else where - one hospital said they couldn't find her wedding ring (taken off and stored before a procedure) until my cousins wife stood her ground and said we are not leaving till it is returned - and they did find it. It is so hard to know what is real and what isn't though so far she has found the "stolen" things at this place. No residents have access to her apartment though of course the cleaning and maintenance staff and nurses aides do. What concerns me about mother is that her brain/personality seems to be deteriorating faster than her body (if anything is fast at 99) and that her need for more care, like a nursng home will be dictated by mental deterioration rather than physical unless the food/stomach issues get worse, but she seems to do pretty well with them if she sticks to the foods she knows are OK. Monitoring her mental condition is difficult and the borderine and narcisissm adds ito the mix. She can appear very good if she wants to and is definitely still sharp and managing her finances well, which I think is a good indicator If that starts slipping sideways I will have to step in.

starri and ladee - you get some cow pattie too - my biggest concern over the years is if there was war in this country is what will happen to the drugstores - without them i won't make it!!!

G breezed in last nite, filled the freezer with goodies from camp that I can't eat, went to the liquor store and the pizza joint - to pick up stuff for the guys as this is their last shift - liquor store?????? i thought they would be fired for having liquor on the job - G drinks about as much as I do which is one or two a year - maybe. Paid my back taxes yesterday which feels good but my back account is hurting - bought some capris at Walmart - $5,00 each as my others were falling off me - together a productive day

YR - some cow pattie for u 2. - i read the fine print too (mother reads everything and her drug book before she takes anything) but there comes a point if you need it - try it. You know your body and if something weird happens get something else from your doc. I tried several antid's years ago - paxil gave me huge leg cramps, prozac made me zingy, some others turned me into a sugar junkie and i put on weight overnight as I did with wellbutrin - finally settled on Luvox which is the only one that hasn't caused weight gain and does the job but I don't sleep well on it - it is used most often for PCD but also for antid. - ativan - i take 1/2 once in a while helps with the sleep. I am on a very lose dose of Luvox right now which seems to be enough - don't need the black hole

ros - I will send some cow pattie with frozen gel pacs to italy so the postman doesn't throw it out

sweetcakes - some cow pattie for your gma's chair - smear it on - maybe it will improve her mood

stormy I am not sure u need cow pattie as well as the trach stuff and anyway ur son might play in it - lol

John - check in and let us know about the diet and dog walking - think u have enough sh*t to deak witrh there

ladee - a clay cow pattie! wow - that would decorate the mantlepiece well - I have had a deer head boiling on the stove with the antlers sticking out of my soup pot, i have a wolf skull in my frig, I have 2 pronghorn antelope heads and capes in the garage, I have horns decorating plants in the living room -a clay cow pattie would fit in just great :) and as for hanging in there - that i can do - oh boy can I hang in there lol

anyone else wants some - let me know!!! lol

have a great day love and hugs to all ♥♥♥ Joan aha jo aka emjo - call me anything just don't call me late for supper ;-D
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Ladee, how are you going to add the scent though, isn't that what makes the cowpatties special? lol... God bless the person who invented our anti's, we sure needed them..
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Emjo, who ever hits the next "100" in the amount of posts wins the cow pattie, it 's the prize for staying with us,, aren't you special!!! And God knows we will take any gift offered.. so maybe I need to make you a clay cow pattie and send it to you.... love ya..
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Then you have to move to Texas... ok emjo!!
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I got the cow pattie again!!!! What did i do to deserve that - well I am spreading it around this morning!!!! along with some horsesh*t and bull sh*t!!!! toro caca lol

is anyone old enough to remember the cheech and chong dog sh*t routine - you know smell it, taste it etc but don't step in it lol more stories coming!!!!

you are the greatest bunch of gals!
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emjo............you got the COW PATTIE again..........you're going to have a whole collection!!!!!!
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