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mslisa...... who peed in your Wheaties???????
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Unless you want advice from people that don't know what the hell they are talking about (such as boring petty gossip and arguments over meaningless untrue bullshit), it is not at all necessary and only adds to misery. So it would be appreciated if they would knock it off and find something else to do. Nevermind insanity
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Seeme, I feel so bad for you. I know how you do what you do, you just do it.. doesn't' mean you have to be happy all the time, doesn't mean you have to sound like Pollyana when you talk to your mom... you are so tired that not a lot makes sense anymore... Been there. I would just look at people when they were talking to me, had no idea what they said and most of the time did not care... I know that level of physical and mental exhaustion..and even if I got to sleep, I was still too tired to rest, so got up cranky and tired and on the same "fun" ride as the day before.... You are my new hero, you get to wear the crown, and I don't even want it back... love ya and respect what you are doing...
Jam, you have more helpers now than you know what to do with.. you can even call one for the evenings you are just too tired to mess with her....And yes, Target needs to get a life, he has this wonderful, beautiful wife that has taken care of his mom for a long time, and now he needs to let her know how much he appreciates her.. Is he depressed??? You know Dr's are the worst patients, maybe he doesn't realize he is depressed... Ask him if we need to change his name from Target to Dr. Couch Potato....
Mj, that is not your "good" self saying to not be selfish, that is the Caregiver Demon that haunts us all and tries to make us feel guilty for having a minute to breathe and relax. Just tell the "good" self to hush and enjoy what time you get... it will be over way too soon... hugs to you
Rossella, how is the MAN CAT today???? Tell him we have a cage at ASG's to put him in if he doesn't behave... AND he would have to be with ASG's aunt... talk to the boy and let him know his options are limited...hope you get some work soon... I know you are stressing about that... love ya...
ASG, what book are you and Jam reading, ya'll should share ya' know, it's not nice not to share......
Johnny, hope you and your wife are ok and not having any major problems, has your daughter been back to give you some time off?? I know you enjoyed that, not having to worry... hugs to you..
We actually got some rain today. Not near enough, but we are happy with what we got. It will at least help the grass to grow for the cattle, Nobs and his step siblings are romping around this afternoon, it is not blazing hot and there is water standing in little puddles...
will try to check back later,, hugs across the miles...
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Well my caregiver asst is trying to help me arrange to come 3x times a wk and then my husband wants to bitch about going out of Ajo to his neuro appt even tho I will be with him. Once more he is refusing to go and then his new thing is I do not even say good morning or anything like that because I do not know streamlined that out of my dictionary. I am still adjusting to help and dealing with the kids. I am hoping that once we get going and he realizes that we have a break away from the kids that his mood be milder. I also not sure if he experience his first incontient episode yet but he is still having trouble eating and having hot n cold flashes;sometimes feverish. I have to find the number to get his nebulizer treatments sent here so he can continue. He is also coughing some blood or blowing his nose still no answer its like dealing with his problems is a puzzle no professional is willing to solve. On top of that my kids are bored but with sitters in place I am hoping they will have some real fun. I just know 2 out of three will be good to my kids not sure but the other but i got these lovely ladies rotating so they do not have to watch my kids all day. Ill be glad just to have some time with hubby. I miss our alone time.
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seeme.....it's time for happy pills....the problem is should they be for you or Mom? I'm sure her physical problems are causing her mental to be worse, but that still doesn't make it any easier to handle. That's why my doc put me on Valium. Helps to get through the day. And tonight we are off to the casino.....yippee!
Let the floors wait and put your feet up for awhile. Close your eyes and get a little power nap.

Love ya,
Jam
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Would you believe I was reading here at 4 am this morning. The only sleep I got was sometime between 5-7 am while mom was screaming. She must be sundowning, but I just don't know what to do. She starts out fine and then gets wilder by the hour.She sat on the bedside commode this morning and yelled for an hour about a tooth hurting her. The upper denture and lower partial were out. First it was one of the 3 bottom teeth in her head and then it was an upper tooth, which she doesn't even have. She said the pain moved around. WTF? Then he wouldn't take a sdhower this mmorning...put it off till the evening....thinks she will get out of it, but I WILL WIN !!!

God, I need to vaccuum. My eyes burn, my head hurts, and I swear I could eat nails. It is so hard to be pleasant to her right now. She commented that people aren't as nice here as they used to be. Then she says I am too crabby and talk too fast and loud. At least hubby works in the afternoons now and I don't feel so bad about making noise at night....he can sleep later in the morning. I'm sorry to be such a baby today. Well, gotta get some laundry going. At least help comes tonight so I can get some sleep for the ride to Raleigh tomorrow. Maybe I will be able to understand what the doctor says ..................
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mj......there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking and enjoying some respite time. So out with the feelings of guilt! You need this recharge time and it sounds like you are already getting the benefits from it. And Mom is getting to visit and enjoy her vacation also. You will both feel better when life gets back to normal.....whatever that is for most of us!
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Good Morning Posse!!!

ladee......Thank God for rain! How wonderful.....I bet the farmers are doing dances. I hope you get enough to make a little bit of a difference. Scrub top on right side out....pants without a wind tunnel.....check and check.....:)

Last night I really thought I was going to be ready to sit beside the col.....a friend sent me a message on FB saying that she heard we were looking for someone for night work occasionally to sit with the col. Well, that light bulb came on over my head again......one of the techs in the ER has been doing part-time home care for years and when she couldn't get away to give one of them lunch, the billing clerk where I worked would run over and feed this woman. So, her sister who went through paramedic school, is a CNA and also a tech at the hospital....she got involved with home care giving and there is a group who has been doing it "on the side". I have been so out-of-touch with the day to day happenings with these people since retirement, that I had completely forgotten that the resources were there, right in front of me. So now we have night help whenever we need it and maybe I can finally get Target up and out and we don't have to worry about the col.

seeme......one more day. I hope this doc can give you a timeline tomorrow for repair. You're on my mind constantly and I think of what a strong woman you are....I truly think I would have broken a long time ago with all that you do for Mom.
Hopefully once this is done, you will have a few moments of Kindle and smoke time without hearing your name called.

ASG....I started reading the book yesterday....so we can start comparing notes once I get a little farther into it. I grabbed a few minutes yesterday while the col was napping to give myself a pedi and was reading while soaking.....How is Aunt this morning? Hopefully there won't be any 911 calls today.......

how's johnny and Miss Betty this morning? Enjoying sunshine I hope.

Good to see from you yearight.....how have things been with you? Yes we will laugh with you, sometimes at you, but only with love and caring...:)

burned....please let us know how you are doing.....

54.....if you're reading and not posting, please send a note to let us know you are okay. We do think about you and wonder how things are.

rossella...deefer....linda09.....evening and morning to all of you....hope today is good to you.

Coffee time and must catch up on email since we were having so much Internet "black outs" yesterday.

Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
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This thread is turning out to be my lifeline. I love reading all the funny stories here. Most people would probably find it hard to believe that some of this stuff really happens, but we know it does. Mom is staying with a friend of hers about an hour away. A few days was the original plan but when I dropped her off her friend insisted that she stay til next week! Mom isn't sure she wants to stay that long. (I told her I would miss her and she said "yeah, sure you will") These two are kind of like the blind leading the blind but the friend is "only" in her 80's and very independent. My Mom rented from her for years and they speak the same European dialect. BFF's. I pray that she will want to stay a little longer than originally planned. After only 2 days l feel like a new woman. Actually got to go to the movies with my granddaughter ! Yesterday we had the best thunderstorm ever and I didn't have to worry about her fear of storms. Power went out and since there was nothing else to do I slept like a rock. Today I will play in my garden til I drop. My selfish side wants her to stay til next week and then the "good" MJ pops up and says "shame on you". I hope God is in a generous and forgiving mood and lets her stay there a little longer.
You are all in my prayers and I think we need a "group hug" button.
And I just wanted to pass this on...shaving cream is a great poop cleaner upper. It smells good. Thank goodness we haven't advanced to that level of care here yet, but I learned this on the job.
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Yearight, yes we can be silly sometimes, and tell things on ourselves, but it sure helps to get thru another day, something to remember during the day that makes us smile.
Come back and let us get to know you... we can always use new people to make us laugh... uh, not AT you, but WITH you,,,, hugs
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RAIN, WE HAVE RAIN, AND MORE ON THE WAY...... RAIN, FINALLY, THANK YOU GOD....
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Thanks for the laughs. You all are super duper caregivers. Here's hoping we all get some sleep tonight. God bless.
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ASG, Love your stories......and you are one of my Faves, too. Glad we are here together !!!!
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ASG....boy do you have your hands full! No, I don't think Aunt has had a stroke. The signs and symptoms she is displaying are not indicative of a stroke. It's a possibility if the doctor doesn't KEEP her BP down and regulated. Sounds to me like you are dealing with a worsening dementia. She's having uncontrollable outbursts, she gets angry, then becomes very sweet and kind. The col and Aunt couldn't be more alike. That has always amazed me. Since you do have the POA, can you call her doctor and talk to him about her behavior? And you could find out how her BP has been trending for the past several months. Compare what they have in her record with what you have been getting at home.

Got interrupted....the col called on the intercom because she has been searching her house over for her cell phone, and finally decided it was in that "little box" in the car..you mean the glove box? Why would it be there when that car hasn't even been unlocked for a year and a half. How about looking at the table where it's been lying for that length of time....:) And she doesn't even really know how to use it anymore. Got her tucked into bed and hopefully she will stay there.

Hope everyone is having a good evening. We've been having internet problems all day....how traumatic!

Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
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Lol, seemer dad had a good humor. We used to love having people over at our house. Bar b que in the summer, cards and cashew. Chicken in the winter. Ahh so much fun. We have had a couple here latley. The last one auntie was completly fine with. Didn't even accuse my dad of eating all the food lol. It was last Saturday for fathers day. She did ask me if my friend was just as fat as she was the last time she saw her. It was completly rude. Its the mother of the little boy who stayed the night at my house. But she didn't do it in front of her. Seemer, I sure hope they can help your mom. Will pray for y'all.
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Seemer I know who you are honey. Your one of my favs on this site. I could never forget you:)
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Ladee, lmao, I hadn't even thought of that. She's definatly changed here latley. That was only the omg moments of the day. Its funny, all mornig she never came out of her aprtment not one time. She comes out with a smile on her face. "Oh this is my first walk of the day!" Then wow! She wasn't being mean an crabby just odd.
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ASG, Yes I'm the one who has mom, and my baby sister had both of them for 3 mos during dad's decline. We didn't get anything from the dr. we saw in Durham, except a positive identification that there was one. It was a Urogynecology facilty which had more to do with bladder incontinence. So this Thurs. we go to a Colo-rectal surgeon in Raleigh. She would need surgery that falls into their catagory.

So today she has been whiney and doesn't want to be alone. I was only out for 2 hrs today and made 5 stops, so I did not pussyfoot around. Got a nap after hubby came home early, but mom didn't like it. Now she has accused him of lying to her about me sleeping, and whatever else she can think of .......tomorrow he will be wonderful.......

Ladee, Everyone here that knew my dad loved him, and they never really got to visit with him. One time we celebrated 4 birthdays in October when my parents were visiting me. Dad's was in Oct., also. We had the neighbors all around us and some others we have known for years over for deep fried turkey and fish that had been caught that day on a chartered fishing trip dad and hubby were on, and all the fixings. Someone gave dad a pair of boxers, black with white ghosts on them and the words "Scared Stiff". Boy did we laugh. Then dad went in the kitchen and got something out of a kitchen drawer (looked like the insides of the old coffee percolator, the part that sat on the bottom of the pot and went up to the top) put the boxers on over his jeans, and propped that thing so the front stuck out like he was "scared stiff"......what a character.......
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P.S. Ladee, that was fun! Yes I noticed too that they must lose their mind, but their sense of humor is still there!
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ASG, I must say you never have a dull moment with Auntie! Why weren't we lucky enough to have to take care of a sweet, calm, quiet aged relative? That one who smiles all the time and says: "Darling, you are so good to take care of an old lady like me!" That's a dream. My grandmother's sister died at 92, still witty and bright, and I spent her last summer with her, She kept looking at me (I was 23) and she said: "At your age you should go to dance with boys, you shouldn't stay here with me!" She was great and I still miss her! Why can't all of them be like that? I would be happy to be a caregiver, in that case.
Anyway.... Starry I hope you enjoy your trip and you take care of your mother's things when you are back. I had to dismantle my parents'house before my mother came to live with me. My brother helped (that is, he threw everything in the garbage without even looking) and I was desperate because I know he threw away lots of good things, I was more careful with the part of the house I took care of. Anyway, after dismantling my parents'house, I had to organize the house I live in with my mother now (I had to take her things and my things here, and find a place for everything, all by myself - I had to open hundreds of boxes). It was tiring and stressful and they told me that the relocation is one of the most stressing things you have to do in life. I am glad it's over but the paintings have not been hung up yet, after 2 years and a half! I should definitely do it.
'Night everybody
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Thank goodness no one was hurt, with the kids " throwing fire" and all. lmao..... Girl you absolutely have your hands full with her..What I find interesting is that she would call 911 for the grill fire, but not for the kids "throwing fire".. they would have known she was nuts for sure,,, "Yes, the boys are throwing fire, I can see them, it is landing in the pool". alrighty then lady we'll send someone right out...
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Ladeeda, lmao!!! That's hilarious!
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Well I had an interesting afternoon, was gonna bar-b-que some pork chops and I set the grill on fire. Had it to hot for to long and the grease caught. Anyways, was getting fil and aunt tells me to call 911 I said its ok, fil can put it out, we just got it put out and my daughter comes out and says mom she's. On the phone with 911 what?? Oh my gosh, tell her we've got it undr control. Daughter tells us later she saw aunts door open, wondered what she was doing and she heard her say"we have a fire in our grill, we'll live such an such st. And the 911 operator was like, I'm sorry mam? You have a fire in your grill? She says Yes that's right, and I need one of those water trucks right away! Oh lord. She then asked me if I called 911 "no", you didn't think you needed to? "No" it was outside no need. Oh well I would have called them she said! Then at supper she was saying how my son, and nephew were throwing fire at each other! My daughter says, oh you mean sand?(they have play sand in the back yard) She starts yelling, no I saw the smoke it was moostly all smoke I could tell what they were doing. I said yeah that sand probaboy looked like smoke. She says no I saw the fire in there hands, it was falling into the pool. Then when they got done they went over to the next lot to pick berries.(probably true about the berries.) I wonder if those days her bp was over 200 if she didn't have a stroke? Jam do you know if that is an indication of one? We seem to occasionaly have these spikes in bp that last for a few days then it goes back down. The dr. says he dosnt want to mess with her current treatment cause he dosnt want the bottom number to get to low. Anyways love everyone. Johnny you are a sweetie.
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ASG, I was wondering why you thought I had taken care of my mom, no, the oldest "ugly sister" was in control of that and bitched constantly that she had no help... she would have had help if she had LET us help...
And yes, I wish we were all closer to each other... You are closer to seeme and Jam, I'd be over there all the time bugging them if I lived that close...
And I am the one blessed with my new couple... such a different atmosphere than the "realms of hell" I was put thru with Ruth's family.... And Sonny keeps me in stitches, don't know if I shared on here yesterday about the big hole in my pants, will share again,
I had gone into the bathroom to get Marie some meds.. as I am walking out the HH aide asked me if I knew I had a wind tunnel in my pants.. she had been bathing Sonny, she made me stand backward and look in the mirror!!!! OMG, my pants were shredded like a wild cat had gotten ahold of me... I didn't even know they were like that, they weren't like that when I put them on.... anyway, I walk into the living room and show Marie and the HH RN who was there and Sonny pops up and say, " Well, no wonder everyone was following you around", now let me tell ya'll, we laughed so hard we were all wiping tears from our eyes... Now this poor little guy can't find the bathroom half the time, but the sense of humor is still there.... It is always what I call " a God surprise" when he cracks us up like that.. His twinkly blue eyes just shine and for a few minutes things are "normal"....
I had gone to WalMart that morning and to get gas, Jam says I will be on those pictures of people in WalMart!!!! God knows I have spent a lot of years "showing my ass" but did not mean to do it literally,,, poor folks behind me in WalMart,
You sound so much happier ASG, just love your little self,,, hugs across the miles..
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Yaa, cow pattiie let's see who can I throw it at Lol. Thanks jam. Burned, myy goodness you are so young to be taking care af husband. Hang in there.
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Johnny, you are such a good man, and a source of strength for us,,, don't stretch yourself too thin, your wife is a very blessed woman to have you..
Starri, I never got to participate with the "cleaning out" part with either of my parents...I do not envy those of you who have such a cluttered mess... and believe me if my dad had any money, he took it with him...
burned, sorry to hear you are having so many problems... hope you get some answers and are feeling better soon.
Jam, yes, checked my backside and no gaping holes to report...
Seeme, did you have any fun today?
I'm sure I missed someone, will check in later...
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Seemer, I thought ladeeda said somthing about she had been the one who had taken care of mom and sister had dealt with dad. How Is your mom? Did the dr. Ever figure out somthing they could do to take care of her fidtula? I can't imagine how bad that would be. And you are so right, about how much fun the couple is having with ladee. Somtimes hearing her stories makes me wish she was closer.
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seeme, I would have loved to have known your dad.. I love minds that are always working and creating and using stuff around the house for storage... He left "messages" in all that "stuff", he was telling everyone who he was and what his life was about... how great for you.. Not the mess, but the wonderful memories you have of him...
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My dad was a brilliant man who could make something out of nothing. That was the problem. He was 79 when he died and the upstairs bedrooms were full of computer things, don't think he ever got rid of one and he never got interested in them until after he retired. He was president of the local chapter of the Experimental Aircraft Association for 4-5 yeasrs, had he kept up the web site and all the local minutes, newsletters and paperwork on the community projects. He was also building a R/c airplane with a 6 foot wingspan. It hung from the ceiling. He had little working tools to make the wing struts in miniature. He saved old pill bottles for spare nuts, bolts, pind, you name it. He saved the caps off spray paint cans cause he needed the plastic to make things. He had fax maachines, scanners, a network of computers and a complete office of supplies, desks and file cabinets in what used to be the master bedroom. He put a door on sawhorses for a worktable. He had all the EAA stuff "filed" underneath it and on top. There was a path around the table and to the bathroom in a room the size of 17' x 30'. Every wall space was covered with endtables, German shrunk, desks under all windows, free standing cupboards all touching end to end. The closets in 2 other bedrooms were filled with trains, from GO, N, and Z scale, with towns, buildings, track, tunnels. I know the garage was filled with every tool imaginable, as he was a carpenter and mechanic. He saved dog food boxes in case he needed to mail something. He had enough batteries of all kinds that had to be specially recycled. I don't even know what was in the basement.....couldn't see anything but the path through it all. I know mom got some money for the scrap metal. Just glad that is over and done with.......
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yes indeed go thru everything ! i had found money after money stash here and there and old checks 20 thousand dollars but gotta cash em before 180 days , ah its 7 yrs old ck ! no good !!! many more checks that hasnt been cashed , sad realy realy sad and it was bunch of money .
sorted out clothes , went thru every pocket there , eww snotty ass rags etc napkin full of snots . wish i wore rubber gloves . some clothes i had to toss em in the trash . stunk so damn bad and it was yellow !
yep go thru every single things ,
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