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HB, my brother and sister in law recently told me a story which I didn't know. My SIL's father, who had been very ill for years and died last year, told her that one of the many many times he was at the hospital, he had a pre-death experience, and he said that he saw the light, the tunnel, the dead friends waiting for him, but he couldn't go because his time had not arrived yet. His experience was exactly... like in the books which talk about these subjects. And he said that he was so peaceful and happy, when he thought he was dying. What strikes me is that he was a very practical-minded, steady, rational man, not mystical at all, and so I absolutely believe what he said... Probably your grandma has been between the two worlds for a while, and she didn't want to go because she loved you all too much... But I bet she has been happy and peaceful, too, when she decided to go, at last!.
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Hugs and lots of love to you and your family,,,, hugs across the miles..
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HB.....hugs for you and your family......
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Hugs, HB
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And much more for you because of your love and concern.I am sure you gave her good memories for her heavenly trip,hugs
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Grandma is gone. She passed to greater glory at 12:20pm today.

Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. Each Angel that you sent our way held us up for another minute. It was just enough.

Love to you all.
HB
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I'm sure grandma would have enjoyed visiting with each and every one of you. No one came to grandma's house without partaking of Italian hospitality. Everyone eats and drinks who steps through the threshhold.

I'll tell her she can walk with the Angels...maybe that will help.

Love n stuff
HB
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HB.....I know you are tired....tell you love her one more time...and yes, she can walk. Beautiful post, well said. Hang in there, girl. One more angel with a hug sent your way........
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HB......It's unfortunate that any of us were never able to meet Grandma.....she sounds like such a wonderful person. I bet in her younger years she gave everything she had to those she loved. Tell her that it's okay for her to go now and she can walk instead of fly.......the angels will walk with her. My love and thoughts are with you and your family.

Jam
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Thank you Johnny. This is a voyage we all make. Hopefully we can embrace death as a natural part of life without fear.

My grandmother has a desperate fear of flying. I wonder if it keeps her spirit grounded instead of allowing her to soar into the cosmos and into the arms of her creator.

We will never know what it is that keeps her here as she is past communication with us at this point.

Thanks again for allowing me to share.
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How well and so caring this was written. I hope to remember your well said words to someone who you care for very much. Thank for sharing with us those beautiful words,johnnycares
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We are in our 6th day of bedside vigil. It is a beautiful clear, crisp Monday morning. The sky is a beautiful robin's egg blue without a cloud to marr its perfect canvas. The tree limbs are dancing with light hearted joy and as the breeze tickles the leaves you can almost hear the woods laugh in delight at the beautiful day that God has made.

What an awesome day to go home to God. If she goes today.

How is the caregiver? We are weary. Sleep deprivation is the order of the day. Like an energizer bunny grandma's chest continues to rise and fall as she struggles to breathe. We are administering drops to dry her excess secretions, but her breath sounds now are reminescent of the efforts of a youth sucking the last bits of a milkshake from the bottom of the glass with a straw.

We cannot move her. When we attempt to change her position she begins to struggle and slip beneath the waves of fluid that has accumulated in her lungs. We straightened her head last night to a more natural angle and as quickly as the position changed, she turned blue. We watched in wonder as after 30 seconds there was a sharp intake of breath...she isn't going anywhere.

Encouragement and gentle reassurance that her spirit will be happy to welcome the soaring release that only the discarding of her tired and broken body can bring about, has not been taken into her account. Grandma does nothing on another person's time table. Her patience is well documented and is legendary in her circle of friends and relatives.

So we sit and wait. How is the caregiver today? We are exhausted and astounded at the strength of the human resolve to cling to the familiarity of the body. For 90 years this body has been the home and temple of her spirit. Even as the tendrils of death advance on her fortress, she remains steadfast in the resolve to fight off the ultimate ending. In doing so, she stubbornly refuses to embrace the new beginning that is the communion of her spirit with those who have gone before her.

Bon Voyage Grandma....this trip will be healing for you. Please go, it is time.
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Good Morning Everyone, Hope you all had a good restful sleep. I had to have some excitement before I could sleep. While hubby, caregiver and I were on the fromt porch having a frank discussion about mom, she gets up ( yes, I forgot to put the rail up ) and her left leg either gave out or she lost her balance and she fell against the bed, knees on the floor. Now her belly hurts from the top rail, but there is no bruise this morning. I had a long conversation about needed sleep yesterday, and she only got up twice last night for the help. We also had to put her feet up all night cause of th swelling. I told her no more sitting in the chair all day when she doesn't walk cause her feet eill swell. She can go lay on our living room sofa and see into the kitchen. She is now gonna do what I say.......yea, right.

Johnny, we need an update on Miss Betty......please........

Starri Honey, are you sleeping?

ASG, know you are busy and all, but just check in. I don't even need a long story if you don't have time, just let us know you are there.

Ludwig, feeling better?

Rosella, I am hoping you have only a $200 bill from the plumber..........

Ladee......Monday........Sonny....twigs......my yard !!!

Jam....with your luck col's memery will all come back as soon as she gets out of the car, and the first thing she'll want is her other coffee table.......

Gonna have me a little danish and come back later. Early here on the East Coast.........
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Seeme, when I bought this house the ex owner told me we were connected to the Municipal sewing system. She forgot to tell me we had a septic tank! Well I should have thought of it. I thought it would happen like in Rome, you press the button over the WC and that's all! I was rather naive!!!! I hope it's just a matter of 200 dollars, I would jump out of joy!!!!
Johnny, what your granddaughter said on the seashore is very cute. I guess she had heard someone say "son of a bitch" and she asked: "What have you said" and the person answered her "I said sand of beach". That's what my father always did with my nephews when they were children and caught him saying bad words!
thanks for this memory. It made me smile.
Starri you are really having a difficult period. You are facing it in the best possible way and I admire your courage.
Jam, I see you are ready for COL's return. There will be things that she doesn't like, it doesn't matter. If the helper will stay with her while she eats, she won't be able to feed the dog with her food. I guess that at this stage you shouldn't allow her to have food in her room. When she wants to eat, she asks... and food will be given to her from your kitchen! I had to do so with my mother as soon as she arrived here. If I let her do her own way she would just eat chocolate and candies.
Kisses Ladee - Kisses ASG.
And kisses to everyone else.
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Well, it figures !!! I finally got 3 hrs of sleep this afternoon and feel ready to go....no one here....and help comes in 30 min and I am wide awake......

Had a talk with mom today about going so often to the bathroom. She's afraid of making a mess. Told her not to worry about it, we can always clean it up, but I was about to vomit I was so tired, she had to be there too. At least she let me sleep. Now her feet and legs are so swollen cause she just won't stay in her bed. The velcro on her tennis shoes will barely close. The bad leg had the fem pop due to blocked artery....

Well, I hope everyone had a pleasant Sunday. We are now under a severe thunderstorm warning, so I will shut er down. Goodnight, sweet dreams.......zzzz
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Hesy guys, I've been so busy tthis weekend. Ita not been bad though. I'm gonna try to get dinner over so I can catch up on post. Love ya guys;0)
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Thank you for good wishes,enjoy your coffee,johnnycares
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Good morning all, got some sleep, yippee!!! Now it's off to the coffee pot before
Dad wakes up. Have a blessed day.
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Good morning posse!!

Sounds like some are having very good mornings.....some getting better.....and some are running away to the beach. Don't forget sunscreen!

I woke up this morning thinking they will probably spring the col either tomorrow afternoon or Tuesday morning. What else can they do? So I guess I will make sure her house is completely ready for her. It's been raining all morning and only 69 degrees, so the pee smell should still be at a minimum. I hate that, but nothing to do as long as she still lives there.....will NOT replace the carpet only to have it destroyed again. I'm hoping she won't remember that some of the furniture has been moved out totally. She doesn't need 2 coffee tables, one to use and one to trip over. So I will do what I can today....having back spasms and that is just not acceptable. I'll stop whining now or ladee will tell me there's a package of cheese on it's way......:) love ya!

seeme.....hope you got some sleep last night. Did you give the broom to you know who?

starri........I know you are facing a tougher time right now.....we're here to listen.

ASG.......morning and how is Auntie doing? BP down I hope.

Hey to karmic and ludwig!

johnny hope you and Miss Betty are having a wonderful day together....

cliff.....I'm jealous, the closest thing to a beach here is our pond....unless I can find the time to go to our lake house....but I'm avoiding that because there is too much work to be done.

rossella.....must keep that camera close for those "Kodak moments"......:)

Time for me to get up and get moving.........will check back later,

Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
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Yes the beach sounds sooooo good,reminds me of a time when I took my granddaughter to the beach and she said,” look at all the sons of bitches,Of-course she meant to say look at all the sand in the beaches” Have a good time,because johnnycares
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Cliff......have some beach time for me too.........
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onacliff, so happy to hear you are getting away and getting some time with the grandkids.... have a good time and let us know you are relaxing and having fun... hugs to you..
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Starri, my heart goes out to you. I was going to suggest that hospice get you an electric hospice bed but it sounds like you won't have her in your home much longer. If she does happen to rally, do remember that hospice should be able to provide the bed and an electric lift if you need/want it. I use the lift to get my mom out of bed and into a wheelchair so she can sit in other rooms of her house, but I would leave her in bed if she had a cath, I think.
My mother has slept all but 5 hours of the last 48 hours. She still eats when she wakes but I think she is just being compliant; she takes everything I put in her mouth. I don't understand why some days she is fairly alert and interacts but other days she just sleeps all the time. I wish I could spread around some of her sleeping time to your loved ones so you other caregivers could get some sleep.

Anyway, I am very blessed to have a sitter I can trust and that Mother has enough Social Security income to cover some sitting; Joyce is coming this morning to stay til Thursday while I go with most of our family to the beach. Going to thoroughly enjoy my grandkids for a few days. I'll be praying for and thinking of you all though while I'm gone. Taking my laptop and probably won't be able to stay away from y'all!
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Morning everyone.. hope everyone is moving around and having their morning coffee, depends which time zone we are in...
ludwig... your story about the roses reminded me when my mom passed away and the magnolia tree that had never bloomed. She had planted the tree 16 years before she passed away and it had never bloomed. The day after she died it was full of beautiful ,wonderful smelling flowers ... we decided God had put her in charge of things that didn't bloom, she would get the job done..It has been 27 years and I still miss her. Prayers sent your way this morning..
Karmic, silly but serious when needed... that is our motto. as you can see it is not all silliness, but the laughter gets us thru..hope you keep posting
Starri, happy to hear they finally did the cath.. that will make things so much easier.. I know you have a difficult decision ahead of you, but trust in yourself , you will know when the time is right..prayers sent your way
seeme, happy to hear mom apologized, that Dr.s appt. cant get here soon enough..
ASG, how is it going with Aunt Acid, you know I am making a joke here, it is a play on words, no offense intended...and yes you still vent about her and I will keep my mouth shut. You are doing what works for you and that is good enough for me.. OK?
Jam, love ya, don't want to get your day started thinking I left you out again... by the way the brace on my leg is really helping. As smart as I am(???), I do lack in common sense at times...
Rossella, yes please take pics of all the "kissing"... hope your last house disaster does not cost you a fortune...
If I missed anyone, I'll catch you later, hugs across the miles to everyone..love you too seeme.
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Hey, ya'll, yesterday and last night was a "H" of a time, Mom's really not doing well, it's to the point now that she has to be lifted up to try and get her out of bed, and then you have to lift her from the bed to the pot, and Thank you ladies, have been using the knee's and lifting, still hurts like hell.

Had Hospice out today, she came in and checked her out, I was afraid of pneumonia, the way she was breathing and coughing, Nurse said that she didn't sound like there was fluid in the lungs.. We ended up putting in a cath, that way I don't have to worry about trying to get her out of bed, and neither does the brother, I worried about him trying to move her cause he is so unsteady on his own.

She's not really able to eat and drink anymore, she spits up everything she tries to take in. It's not going to be much longer and we have to consider hospice house, I hate to do that, but we will not have much of a choice about it. Cleaning her after a poo is going to be a two person job..

Thank you for all your advice, it's been a God Send... Time to try and get some rest before I get the first call for help.
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I still cry every now and then. Miss my mum. Funny, the week we prepared for her joining my pop, the roses in her garden bloomed like crazy. We cut some and put them in a vase for her wake. This week the roses are drooping. Almost like a sign. Another strange thing - my mom passed just about 1-2 weeks right before my dad did in 94. Another strange thing - I lost my job when my dad passed and right now I am also unemployed. Sigh. I may try to run er walk to release my stress and sadness.
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dmd..........Sometimes gut feelings are the best. Not only were they correct in the situation with your dad, in this case, they saved you from possible guilt later had hospice had its way. Feel free to act on those feelings. Sometimes daughters know best, and you have done the best you can.

yearight...........sorry you don't have more time for us, but post when you can. Maybe we can give you a chuckle know and then.

Time for breakfast....hubby promised omelets this morning. Then I want to tear up some plants in the garden and start some diferent ones. Got too many snow peas and no garden peas. Heat should go back down to normal soon. Everyone have a blessed Sunday. Prayers for all.............
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Good Morning, Everyone, Things really started happening here after I went to bed, not that I lept much, but I got enough to make it another day. Hello to all the new people here. Stick around so I can learn your names and your situations.....

Johnny, Hello and please say hi to Miss Betty for me. Glad you are newlyweds again. I remember back then.......barely !!!

Car 54, I am really sorry about your situation, and it sounds like you have some decisions only you can make. You don't DESERVE to be beaten for all that you do. As long as you realize that. And there are no medals to be won.

Rosella, I keep telling my husband to have aur septic tank pumped out. I have let all the flushable wipes go down the toilet, but lately there have been so many. Our yard is flat and it only costs $200 for 3-4 years worry free, but it is a matter of pride with him, so he says no. He works in that dept. with the city, so he knows better than I do. HUH !!! We will see ..........

Karmic...........we like being silly here, it saves our sanity. And don't be surprised if we don't stay on topic. We say what is on our minds.....what is left of our minds.... it may be difficult to tell if we are the patients or the caregivers at times.

Starri, what shift are you on today? Only one more day till you give the insurance company "what for", huh? Get some answers or you will be next. That candle must be pretty short by now, burning it at both ends. I know. Hope bro stayed home at night. Isn't it kinda mountainous there? I just see him on twisty curvy mountain roads in the middle of the night.......but bless his heart that he knows you need the help.

Jam, I don't think rain would make any difference in stringing up the fence now, so enjoy the sleep-in if you got one. And if it rains tomorrow they only have to worry about the electric part. HAHAHA I just saw them in my mind standing there, sudden downpour, and they all have their hair sticking out, they are perpendicular to the fence and their eyes are bugged out. Welcome home, col !! heeheehee OK.......ok........lack of sleep, I know.

Ladee....love you girl......I'm hanging in there....got an apology from mom last night for her meltdowns yesterday......she didn't know she was talking to me, but kept saying she had to aplolgize to me. Guess she thought I was Kathy. I knew she would, just not like her to jump on me like she did. So we are OK now. Just put her heater on in her room....she will probably sleep now. Still up numerous times at night.

Let me catch up some more. Ya'll were busy on here last night !!!
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I have to take care of my mother now... All day long! I hope we'll both survive.
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Oh my! I haven't thought of it. Next time I'll do it! The dog was kissing me, too; it was a triple kiss. And the cat and I made head against head. (love at sunrise!)
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