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Well, today hasn't been a good day. I have been on the verge of tears today and am very frustrated. Mom is in skilled nursing and I was just told we have no discharge date. When does someone get moved from skilled nursing to memory care? She has just in the last five days begun to say nonsensical things, and of course I go there with her in the moment. She has become incontinent to a high degree. I had blood work done yesterday and a urine sample taken. This is such a roller coaster!
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Today is my first day alone in my house in 38 years. I cant believe Mom is gone. After over 8 grueling years of 24/7 caregiving, even with some help, my brain feels like it stopped. I was always on overload thinking of what she needed next, taking care of her, thinking of to do next, doing pills, meals ordering supplies, thinking of the next day and what she needs on and on and on. All of a sudden NOTHING!
whoa
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It is soooo weird! I just downloaded the free ebook, transferred it into my Collection READING NOW. Then I went back to Collection, pressed down on the book's title, the window pops up - and I No Longer See 'Delete Book'.. It now has "Remove from Device." I hit Remove Device - and it automatically deleted it -no question like "Are you sure you want to delete from device?" I then went to my cloud and the book is still there. I re-downloaded the book back into the Paperwhite without any problem...I guess Amazon was updating their devices and I happened to delete those books while there was a glitch.
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I got a new Kindle Paperwhite ebook reader. It's mainly for reading ebooks and not websurfing like the other kindles or iPad. I downloaded all my books into it (took a while.) And started setting up Collections - Fantasy, Romance, Para Romance, Mystery, Self Help, etc... I'm so used to deleting books out of my devices which does Not delete it from your cloud - only the device.

I deleted several books from the Paperwhite ereader so that i can make more room in the collections. Plus any of my favorite books or memorable books, I want to keep in the Collections. I usually Delete 'so-so' or "Ugh!" ebooks from the device only. I kind of got suspicious after deleting 6 books when it hit me that every time I was deleting the book, the question would ask me if I'm sure I want to delete the book. I suddenly recalled that all my other devices would ask me if I want to delete it out of the Device. Oh-oh.... I immediately went on my laptop, logged into my account, went to manage my devices, to my ebooks. I typed in the author's name and all the books I deleted from the Paperwhite - are gone!!! I went to check if I can re-download it but - all previous purchases of these books are gone AND the books are no longer free. Oh, my gosh.. does this mean I cannot delete the books from the kindle paperwhite???? If I delete it, it will delete all my book in the cloud!!! I found one book that is free. I downloaded it and will be experimenting on the paperwhite if it's possible to delete the books from the device only - not from the cloud....
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Thanks, Arlene. My favorite down time is reading books, with the TV on as background noise. Sometimes I forget to Not laugh when reading my book in public. But that's the best part of stress relieving - to laugh from a good book.
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How am I today? I have just done 3 days, starting at 6 a.m. finishing at 12.30 p.m. I work in a resthome with 60 residents, ranging from independant, semindependant to requiring full care, (dressing, toileting). When I get home, I switch off from work and concentrate on other things, the newspaper, a crossword, coffee and lunch. I do my best to keep on top of my sleep, and don't get too tired in my work. Hence, now is down time for me. To all those caregivers who have written in, look after yourself becuase no one else will. Arlene Hutcheon
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Yeah, in desperation, that 'Escape' button on the top left gets pressed a lot to no avail.

I gave in to my cravings and bought dried mangos, which to me tastes so much better than the fresh fruit. It's mango season and our trees are producing. I'm allergic (but not so bad yet) to the blossoms. I opened the package last night and it was delicious going down. I went to bed lastnight with no headache. I kept waking up during the night because of the pounding headache, stuffy and squishy nose.... Well... There goes that mango. I will give it to sis. So disappointed. I sure miss eating mango! And shrimp (the most).

You know, there must be an update recently. This iPad keeps changing what I'm typing- in the middle of my typing- and automatically types at least 2 words while I'm still Spelling A word. That one word I'm still spelling- is Entered by iPad as 2! It's irritating because I have to stop and backspace. I forgot the shortcut to undo it. Oh, yeah, maybe it's slightly shaking the iPad. Let me test it out..

Shaking works but it took out this line and a few words from the last paragraph. Nah, backspace is better, more accurate erasure than the shaking iPad syndrome.
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Book I agree go back to the neurologist. Ordinary pain meds may ease the pain but they do nothing to help the constricted blood vessels which is what is causing the pain.
Can't help you with the computer I am afraid. I know very little and just keep pressing keys till i get something to happen.
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It most likely is the old laptop. I can no longer record anything in the cd drive. I keep stalling on buying a new computer. I think. Night you all. 1:12 am.
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Glad, thanks for the info on migraines and yes there are many different prescriptions out there what works for one may not work for another. Each person needs to find the prescription that works for them. It took several years and many different meds before I found one that helps to prevent the migraines. It does not eliminate them but it has cut the frequency down and made life more livable.

Book, I have Windows Vista as well. I am going to use Firefox for awhile and see if I run into any problems. I will let you know. My computer use to freeze up anytime I installed IE9 so I uninstalled it and went back to IE8 and never had the computer freeze up again. For some reason Windows Vista and IE9 are not a good match.
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For those with migraines I feel your pain. I have had them to over 30 years, Many meds, Beta blockers for 30 years. Finally they have reduced in frequency. Diet help (no fatty foods, healthy eating helps). Imetrex seems to help. Take one when I feel it coming on. Early on they were horrible, lost days, sickness, vision and hearing issues and misery. Talk to your doctor, get on a healthy eating plan and find what triggers bring them on. I feel your pain. If you have never had them you can never understand someone who has them.
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Book, I'm not sure what your internet problems with it could be caused from. I love Firefox, it never freezes on me.
And try the prescription!!! Can you even imagine how much better life could be without those headaches?
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Book, go back to the neurologist, get a new prescription and take it! If it doesn't work, try another.
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I'm practicing on using Firefox because in April, Chrome will no longer support Windows Vista - which is my laptop. I won't tell you how many times this computer froze as I typed this in Firefox. It's like going back in time when I used to do the dial-up internet! I guess I will end up using the iPad for online reading. That's such a smaller screen than my laptop.
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Glad, most of my life, I used to 'tough it out' with my migraines. I would still take Tylenol or Excedrin for the headaches knowing that it did nothing to the pain. But psychologically, it fooled me into thinking that at least I was taking something for the pain. Only recently, I learned that those who suffer migraines have a higher possibility of getting dementia.... because the headaches constricts the blood vessels in the brain, and hence less oxygen flowing through the brain. If I had known that at least 20 years ago, that by taking EFFECTIVE painkillers for my headaches would give me a better chance of postponing dementia, I would have gone to the doctor and force myself to take those Rx pills. Ahem.... That last comment is a lie from me - because last year, the neurologist prescribed for me a headache prevention pill that I Must Take Every Day - and I turned it down.....
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Those of you with migraines there was a segment on NBC News tonight about why they seem to occur more often and more severely as we get older. Thank goodness I do not get headaches, just ordinary headaches, often.

Research is being done and if I got the jist of it they happen because of rapid and extreme fluctuations is hormones and is treatable! But treatment is some trial and error to find the right medications.
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I was with my Mom when she passed and what she went through was horrible.

Reverse, Thanks for sharing the picture of your Mom with us! Looks like she is having a fun time.
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Reversroles, I too, am sorry to hear you've lost your Mom. You bet, you need to hold your head up high knowing you did your very best taking care of her all of these years! Caregiving is by far, the hardest job any of us will ever do, so now you deserve to begin doing everything that makes you happy, and start in on doing things that you have been putting off! I know that you are grieving your loss, but in time you will begin to remember the Mom you had before the Dementia started, and those will be the happier times! It takes a while, but you will get there! I still miss my Mom and Dad after losing them 12 years ago, but life is what you make it, and you know that she would want you to go on to have an unbelievable and happy life! So sorry for your loss! Love, Stacey B
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reverse, I am so sorry for you. Take care
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Reverseroles...Yes,my Mother had that awful death rattle also....It is horrible to watch your Mother die before your eyes...A sight I doubt we can ever forget but we were very blessed to be with them then and for all the time we had with them.Your Mother was very lucky to have you.Take care....
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Reverseroles, here is another thread that may support you too, as well as this one you are on. Gershun posted it:
"Caregivers who love/loved their parents"

Cute pic of your mom with the bunny ears! And polka dots all over!
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Awww. So sorry for your loss, and sorry it was that rough. My mom did not have a lot of secretions but she had chest pain, and the morphine helped, but I knew it was ending when the Cheyne-Stokes breathing started. None of us can prevent all the suffering, we can only be there... if we even have that blessing to be there.
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Yes college, i was so close to placing mom. I was at the end of my rope and apparently she was too. My Mom died with severe secretions and I cant get it off my mind that she might have drown in them. The dr said the morphine slows the heart down and it stops eventually but she was vomiting secretions and I am sick with worry tonight, my regret of not being there due to fear and my fear she choked. This is heartwrenching. Anyone else watch their parent with the death rattle? Hugs to all !
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Reverseroles, I am so sorry for your loss. Feeling like you were trying to put my Momma in a NH, My back is killing me and my left hip. I hate to do it even though I know I need to. My husband has learned when I'm in Momma's room he can get into trouble. Double trouble here. I am sad anyway because this is the day my sweet Daddy died 37 yrs ago. Still hurts. I've been praying for strength all day. Tomorrow I will call her doctor to get stuff rolling. All of this is just too overwhelming. Praying for all of us caregivers to be strong and get thru loosing loved ones and having to place loved ones in a NH. GOD bless the Caregivers! Hugs & Chocolate for everyone!
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Thank you everyone, Shilo8 I just posted a pic but you need to enlarge it to see her "OHHHHHHH" happy face when I told her the Easter Bunny was bringing candy! lol
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Reverseroles, Sorry for your loss.

Of course posting anywhere and staying here with us, letting us support you and you sharing what has happened could help you in your grief. There are some threads especially started for when you have a loss and want to remember and post.
"Love notes from caregivers who have lost someone"
Gershun posted another one, I will ask for you. Put the words in the search bar when you are ready.
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Book, when we moved from one apartment to another the one way ambulance ride cost $150. For round trip, if ambulances have to wait like doctor visits they will charge so much per minute after a 10 or 15 minute time period. That $300 round trip increases by the minute. Some carriers start off at $600 round trip.
So ask the bank if someone could come out or if you know a notary who could witness your father's signature and pick the papers up from the bank that needs signing.
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Reverse, I am thinking of you during this time. Do you have pictures of your mom you will be able to look at when the time is right that shows her smiles and laughter? Cherish the time you spent with your mom and be proud of how you cared for her.
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Reverse, I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. And you bet! You can hold your head high and be very proud of all you did for your mom! She is still with you, watching you and very grateful for all you did for her.
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Reverse, I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. Be well, and at peace!
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