This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Hoping you will stay calm, and like Stacey says, carry on.
Talk later, after you have visited.
If I wasn't stressed enough what with mum, selling and buying property and now the move I am now..
As you know, bro and I are trying to get POA before dad worsens. For the past few weeks, while we're trying to get things done, every time I was changing his pamper at nights, my guts kept telling me to talk to dad about POA. I kept ignoring my guts. Then one night, a few nights ago, I could no longer ignore it. It was this overwhelming urge to talk to dad about it. In a round-about way, I told dad about how it's so difficult lately for me to deal with the bills, etc... without POA. I asked him what did he think about me being POA? At first, he didn't want it because of what his brother's wife did to him. So, I reassured dad that I would not do that to him. His money is his, the house is still his, the land is still his, etc.. All the POA is for - is to help make decisions with his money. So, he was okay with that.
Today, when I came home, he was mumbling on and on. I wasn't listening until I heard my name. He said a big lady (big as in important) came today and talked to him about... In frustration, he said that what I mentioned to him the other night. POA? Yes, that one. Anyway, he told me tonight that he does not want bro to have POA because he's a thief. So, I told dad that we need another POA because if something happens to me, then we have a back-up POA. So, he is willing for my fave sis to be the 2nd POA.
D*rn! I was hoping bro would be also POA. All well, it's better to have a POA than not. I'm Not Sure if the POA is going to happen. Trying to get the story out of my dad was like pulling teeth - and it coming out like a puzzle with missing pieces. Anyway, he said that the lady told him that it's okay. She will talk to me. My dad said he was surprised that the lady knows me (because she mentioned my name).
The one thing that concerned my dad about the POA when I brought it up the other night - was that the lawyer cost is going to be very expensive. He was so worried about that. Tonight, he was soooo happy when he told me that the big lady told him that it's Free. He's so glad that he doesn't have to pay for it. Me, too!
P.S. the lawyer's office is coordinated with the senior citizen government office. That same office was the one that helped set up all these years of the gov't caregivers to come 4 hours a week. We broke down that visit to a one hour, 4 day visits to sponge bathe him.
Pam, I'm so glad for you and hubby! Enjoy yourselves as much as possible while mom is away. I read your comments earlier but didn't want to jinx it. I'm so glad that it worked out!
She hated it and complained about it bitterly when I visited every other day.
When her last AL shut down the smoking room we moved her to a place that allowed e-cigs. That was two years ago. She's been fine for quite awhile, but I think her vascular dementia is clouding her thinking and it's disturbing to me.
I was with her for three hours today and she was in an argumentative mood. My father in law has prostate cancer and was denied an expensive drug. His doctor came through and got him another prescription. Good for my dad in law!
Mom took the news to mean he must have better insurance than her and her life is crap. Ummm mom...you refuse to go to a doctor and how would you know??? We pay Blue Cross premiums quarterly. You have excellent insurance.
It drives me nuts sometimes, that thankfulness of what you do have. I realize she's not exactly cognizant of her blessings.
It's been a difficult week. Mom is losing so many abilities. It's hard to witness.
I lost my temper but didn't let it show after the 99th complaint. Just said I have to go now.
Because I did to maintain my sanity and do her shopping.
Cheerios plus flakes, small hairspray, prunes, chapstick, kleenex, paper towels, Starbucks coffee, puzzlebooks, wine bottles smallsies, papertowels, coleslaw, plastic utensils. small paper bowls, sweets, plastic baggies, Kleenex, Neccoes, Altoids, e-cig tanks, e-cig fluid and all her evening meals. Plus wash all her dishes, empty garbage, wash her glasses. I am so tired of this.
Veronica, it seems they're trying to keep the money still within the company and not pay out the refund. Not a bad idea.
Kelise, I knew it! I found at least 5 ebooks were deleted from the Amazon cloud and therefore in all 3 devices (2 kindles and 1 iPad.)
I usually also download in the BN Nook but they changed it. I can no longer download ebooks because they "don't send electronics internationally". I sent an email trying to resolve this. Sending an ebook via the Internet will not blow up the airplane because it doesn't have lithium batteries. I was told to redo my profile and it will work. Nope! So, I've stopped buying ebooks at BN. Too bad, because I would have liked to know if it was just Amazon only that was taking back these specific ebooks.
something odd happening with my moms Kindle. she downloads all these jigsaw
puzzles from Amazon and they periodically disappear.
The paperwhite ereader is black/white - no colorful cover photos (sucks!), no colorful highlights (sucks!). BUT - I can now set up files for each of the book genres... like Romance, Romance Para (for paranormal), Fantasy, Fantasy long (over 200 page ebooks), vampires, witches, mystery, mystery para, Teens (yes, I also read books for teens), etc...
So, I'm downloading the ebooks into the ereader. And I was transferring these books one by one to the file. I go to Amazon and check for any more free or 0.99 ebooks from the authors. I was excited to find more free ebooks from this author. I clicked on the books that I downloaded (listed in my notes.) And.... Amazon doesn't show that I ever downloaded it! So, I checked my device, scrolled for it in the cloud - and it was also not there. I stared at my list of downloaded books and realized that Amazon did it again! Without even notifying me, they took back most of those Free ebooks that I downloaded in December.
This is so rude and it should be illegal. I can understand if they sold the book as humorous but some reader read it - and discovered that it was some kind of hardcore adult content. But it's Not!
Fave niece said that I should go online and make a review with this complaint. I never thought of that. I'm seriously thinking of doing this - since this is the 2nd time I've caught Amazon taking back books that I've downloaded previously. Now, I wonder how many books that I have downloaded and no longer have.