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Welp, I turned in one final paper and hope it's decent enough... I'm sure it is... and the other projects will have to wait. I haven't slept right in a few days.

Rumination. I catch myself revisiting the same hurtful topics in my mind pretty often. The best thing I've learned to do is to to mentally change the channel. The channel switches back on me without my noticing, but then I can change it again as soon as I notice it. And again. And again. I think about anything else in that moment that helps me smile, even if it's a fake/forced smile at first. :-) I wish I had a better solution. I wish I didn't think so often about how my mother and brother have impacted me in hurtful ways. It's funny-strange because my caregiving years were to my father, and definitely the hardest years of my life... but that's not what hurt the most. The negative "voices" and situations in my head always involve my mom and my bro and their reactions to different things I went through in childhood and caregiving -- their constant, lifelong treatment -- but not the more discrete negative circumstances of those situations. It's interesting what impacts our mental health the most. Some studies I've read for school on childhood abuse and PTSD indicate it's not the most acute tragedies in our lives that contribute to persistent symptoms, but instead it's the chronically hurtful, emotionally-confusing situations over time. (That's my non-expert takeaway 😉).

Gershun -- I need a new hobby, too, away from thinking about things that hurt me. I can relate. lol I hope you find the help you deserve. Practicing CBT methods and distracting myself through positive ways -- anything else but that same old script -- helps me. It takes a lot of effort on my part, though. My picture should be in the dictionary next to "neurotic personalities." I like to watch/read true crime stuff but not sure that's the best thing for me sometimes. lol Losing a pet is very hard. And changing hormones add another complex layer. Big hugs.

Golden -- I take inositol, and other supplements you've discussed, every day now. I appreciate your input and your experience with these supplements, and with CFS and Fibromyalgia issues, and I try daily to find supports and to keep on. I knew I was physically crashing after caregiving -- something had drastically changed for me during those 6 years -- and I asked my mother about different ways to find assistance somewhere, with family, that could provide me with a stable environment for a bit. Those ideas were harshly shot down. I didn't pursue it any further. I appreciate that struggles make us stronger, but I also know that I hurt and want to sleep from the time I wake up until I go to bed again, every single day with very few exceptions. The supplements help, I think, because I'm doing it, I'm moving forward. Thank you for the kudos!!! I take gabapentin every day now, when I feel an overload of muscle pain. It's a small dose but it gives me something to dull the ache. I'd prefer nutritional supplements rather than pharmaceutical stuff. Big (((((hugs))))) back at ya.
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Happy National Coffee Day! But, what the heck with the little shop I go to on Saturday? There have been rumors of a sale. It was closed all day yesterday, and the Facebook pages were taken down last night.😮😮 For National Coffee Day?!

It will be interesting to see if there is an announcement today. Where will I go on Saturday?

The owner had talked about moving to a larger space on Main St. So many vacant store fronts there. Maybe new owner opening a new space? A friend is the city economic development director, but I would think she would know. But, hush, hush?
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Llama, Good that you had carotids checked and clear.

Golden, Brings back happy memories and is comforting if I have too much on my mind.

waiting on the ambulance to come. I hope I get a lighter cast. I can't lift my leg with the one I have now. I'll still have to keep it elevated all the time.

Glad, Hope you get a new coffee shop.
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Oh no, not another toilet paper and paper towel shortage !! Turns out to be a shortage of dock workers to unload the cargo ships.
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Bridge: Thank you. Got to watch out for heredity factors.
Hope that your ambulance ride worked out and that you get a lighter weight cast.
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freqflyer: More than just paper products will be in short supply so I've heard.
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Went to surgeon's office. Giant cast removed, x-rays, surgeon twisted my foot around (painful) and I got a new cast. It's one layer thinner than the original. so still bulky. Still have to keep it propped up 24 hours a day. Still can't lift my leg up by myself. Not as much progress as I had hoped for, but at least I moved forward a little. It looks like I'll be in this place at least two more months. I miss being at home with my family, especially my baby grandson. Will also miss the births of my next grandchildren.
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ali - I find the supplements really help. I have had to reduce the inositol to 250 mg or I am too sleepy in the daytime. Reducing your dose may help with the sleepiness. OTOH maybe you need that sleep. Hemp oil helps some too. I find alone it doesn't do much for me but with the inositol I think it does. I know the childhood extending into adulthood emotional abuse leaves lasting scars. I still deal with it.

glad - hope your coffee place starts up again. That's such a nice habit.

ff and Ll -Yikes! I hope not.

(((((bridger))))) sorry you are stuck there for 2 more months and will miss the births.

Leaves already falling here. Fall colour season is very short.
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Coffee shop was open today, I will go on Saturday.

The previous owner had started getting grumpy sometimes. I think the shop became too much for him. He had owned it about three years I think. It just seemed like he had gotten into a rut.

The new owners are a relatively young couple. She has also done catering and has yummy looking things I am excited to start trying some new food items that I am sure she has planned. And the fb page was back up this morning with the announcement.

Also have a ziggy's coming to town, just a drive thru so won't do that much.

Leaves are just beginning to fall here. All we need is some of those winds we get and they will be done.
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Meteor shower early this morning. I was sleeping, dang!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y7CoE_RquE4&feature=emb_imp_woyt
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For those who use FACEBOOK,
in the news:
"FB is down today for milllions of users".

So it's not your computer.

No worries, you've got AgingCare and us!
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LOL!

Maybe an attack and data held for ransom?

Amazon is acting funny too!
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Zuckerberg got me! I had logged out of Facebook account, but was able to retrieve it.
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Somehow i.woke up in Utah. Either ISP or YouTube tv problem. Good thing no dementia her or I would be very confused.
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Lol.
I could not order groceries on Instacart.

Happy to have emergency stash of food for at least one week.
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Halloween is coming! And tricks have already begun!

https://kdvr.com/news/local/when-you-think-you-have-seen-it-all-headless-12-foot-statue-found-in-the-middle-of-the-road/?fbclid=IwAR3GhaX8BSnn7tSat4J-6ZPvCgMsHvUpiWlt8YtU_gYnuCF6TAHRpexuZKc

😈😈😈😈😈😈
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Recovering nicely. Got fitted for foobs this last week. Don't know if I will ever wear them😕😖 .

I have been cutting the lawn on my own for about a month. Last time for the year, I hope, yesterday. I was debating about waiting until today or tomorrow, it is so windy today I am very glad ingot it done last night.

Have a cold front coming in on Tuesday with the possibility of snow overnight with freezing temps. Will shut down the sprinkler this weekend too. Nice long weekend.
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You wrote the S word, noooooo 😱😱😱

(glad for you that you got your boobs, but I often wish I could get rid of mine so I could completely ditch the bra lol)
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Just so I am clear, not implants, silicone that fits n pockets in a bra. They haven't even made it out of the bag yet.
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Glad you are doing well with recovery and lawn cutting. Not sure what I would think about foobs if I needed them. Do what is good for you.

cw - personally I don't get need to ditch a bra. Mine is comfortable and I like the support in the daytime. Each to her own. The S word???

Nice fall weather here. No more bears in the garbage even though some people put theirs out the night before collection. I will be cautious until the snow comes.
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SNOW Golden, the S word is Snow
(don't even want to think about that)
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OK! Got it! This year for me it will mean the bears have gone to sleep so I am OK with it. By January probably not. You don't get snow that early or that long where you are, do you? Here it stays from Halloween to March trailing into April. Too long!
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We've have hardly any winter to gripe about at all the last few years, certainly nothing like the winters I remember from my childhood. But I'm not counting on that trend to be permanent, the difference between the wet and slushy we've been getting and a meter of snow is often only a degree or two.
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I think I'd rather have snow instead of the never ending rain we get here in B.C. When we get snow here on the rare occasion it happens everyone with a driver's license suddenly loses their sh*t. It's funny to watch from the safety of behind my window.

As for bras, if I don't wear one my boobs flop to the side now so it's best I wear one when I'm out.
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A friend wore a bra pocket filler for a while (called chicken fillets here LOL). Wasn't wonderful but not awful either. Said a tight tee kept things in place, then a patterned shirt/top added confidence. She went without with friends but felt lopsided (just one side) so eventually had an implant. Such a personal decision but personally I'd try foobs/non surgical first.

Glad, good to hear you are recovering well.
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gladimhere, the secret is finding a really good mastectomy bra. It took me years and I finally found one that feels like I am wearing nothing at all.. Check out the website for Bare Necessities, nice selection of mastectomy bras.

I gave a thumbs down to an implant, it is major MAJOR preparation and many hours in surgery. I was 65 and I didn't want to risk being under for a lot of hours. There is so much more involved then what one sees on the TV show "Blotched".
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Glad: Good to hear that you got your foobs. Be careful with lawn mowing.
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FF, thank you so much! It is always wonderful to hear experience from others that have gone through the same. I am 66, I just could not see the point of implants!

I have heard of blotched, or is it botched? What channel? I just watched some clips of botched on YouTube. OMG! Very happy I did what I did and can't believe women would augment up to size F?! And even more.
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October 6, 2021
Excerpt from Bloomberg reports:

Sweden and Denmark decided to halt vaccinations with Moderna Inc.’s Covid-19 shot for younger people because of potential side effects.
The Swedish health authority Wednesday cited new data on the increased risk of heart inflammation as a reason for the pause for those aged 30 and under. Denmark will stop giving the shot to those younger than 18.
Moderna shares fell as much as 5.3% in New York trading.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2021-10-06/sweden-halts-moderna-s-covid-vaccine-for-people-aged-30-or-under
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Time for all those Halloween shows.

This is a classic Dick Van Dyke!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ja0r9lcdk84&list=PL0FHxKU3tEruGN7iOLkeuGioLz2E1rncD&index=30
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