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Thx Gershun The move is going. Lots of work here at the house still. Condo keys get picked up tomorrow.

It is quiet here tonight.
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Gershun: I know BOJ said that she would be off the internet for a bit.
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Llama thx for the info. I know earlier this week people were saying they weren't getting messages and having trouble logging on too.
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Gershun: You're very welcome. As Joy is routine poster on many threads, I thought that I would let you know.
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Gershun, Isn't it unusual to go 20 hrs. with no one posting on this thread?
It is a very active thread.
Maybe you were a bit early tonight. The usual 'suspects' come on later.

I re-watched a movie last night: "You've Got Mail". It has many very funny lines to recall.

"It's not personal".
"What does that mean it's not personal?"
"If anything, it should start out as personal".

"I wish I had a river that I could skate away on?" A Joni Mitchell quote.
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All these people moving!
May it go well for you.

Moving gives you the opportunity to get rid of stuff, downsize, and organize.

Wishing that I could move. To somewhere over the rainbow maybe.
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Send: 🌈🌈🌈🌈 Here ya go!
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I feel like I've lost my relevance on the forum, maybe I'm just too far removed from the stresses of caregiving now but hardly anybody comes here for the kind of advice I can help with anymore.
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I get it CW. The newbies seem to be fewer hands on caregivers and many more with loved ones in facilites. What have others noticed? A post yesterday made me realize that the audience has changed. Labeling 65 as eldely?! Those are people my kids ages. Hard to.know what to think.
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Most of the younger ones seem to me to be less about truly being a caregiver and more about the kind of family dynamic where the child has been trained to serve the parent and put aside their own needs and independence. I don't even want to go there.
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How about "editing" those long posts, putting it in our own words might be fun. Or NOT.


We could say:
"In other words, you won't be caught dead changing your Dad's diapers, ever!"

"In other words, when you escaped from home, it was hard enough the first time.
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I am feeling a bit like cwillie.
Forum is seeming REALLY CHANGED to me.
I think the admins may have in the past saved us from a few of these recent totally bizarre posts? Recent posts have some nonsense headings that make no sense.
Some OPs are so bizarre as to changing (his) names and returning with more nonsense; must be laughing (his) head off that we don't realize he is last week's OP with a new name and problem (but similar Dad). Easily recognized by his odd spacing, parroting back of advice before praising us for changing his life and curing him.
Many posts are so poorly spelled you can't get the question at all. Many OPs just want to argue the issues endlessly (true of a lot of Social Media) I suppose.
I am going to have to seriously reconsider a new addiction, or enter a 12 step to stay off a while. So far I feel helpless in the face of my compulsive dependency. But I am thinking about it!
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We could start our own support group of caregivers who have been on here awhile.
I am thinking, yes, to being exclusionary to new OP's, no matter how old.

It could be called: The Wisdum of the Ages
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Cwillie,
Hang on, we will need your advice on techniques how to ambulate to the bathroom without coughing or sneezing.
Some of us are getting older than you.
And even Teepa Snow will be aging out soon enough.
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I agree with CWillie,, sometimes i just have nothing to say to some of these posts,, or at least nothing nice.. LOL. They get sort of boring and repetitive and just.. BLAH. Several are really soap operaish.. is that a word? It is now! Yet I still get on every night around 5 or 6,, in the hopes that something will catch my interest.
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I'm hesitant to respond sometimes because they're so strange.I would like to see the admins take that little bar off at the beginning of the responses that says Most Helpful-Newest-Oldest. Go back to putting the newest post first. I think it may cause someone to miss an answer that may be better for them than what the admins consider the best response. It's exclusionary. And some responses are simply too long winded.
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I only get the most helpful answers listed first when I haven't signed in, and anyone who makes a post has to have signed in to do so. The admins don't pick the best/most helpful answers, that's determined by the number of likes.
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Good to know.
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Why is it when I turn on the kitchen sink water, within seconds I need to make a mad dash to the bathroom? Never fails. Maybe it is mind over matter.
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FF, maybe it's mind over bladder:-)
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I always try not to offend. That's why I often start off with, "In my humble opinion." You can't please everyone across the board.
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Lots and lots of long winded answers. I usually use the KISS principle when posting here.
But
Admins do not determine what is most helpful. The algorithm built into the site counts likes. . Basically it is the number of people that decide to click helpful or like.
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I agree things have changed. I am more cautious about answering as some seem to be attention getters, and some dual posters who, as Alva wrote, have different names but very similar posting styles.

And then there are the posters who have good comments or questions and lots of answers who never come back so you wonder if they were real.

Busy today deconstructing part of my pantry so it can be hauled away. The company I bought my new mattress from does not remove old ones. My mistake. So I have to get someone to take it to the dump and decided I may as well make it worth while as I have other stuff that needs to go. Clearing out drawers, l think I have enough plastic storage containers for 3 households lol.

I bought a new mattress and dishwasher and need a new microwave. Once I get a new one I can get the dump run organized, and the old microwave can go too. Going to feel good getting rid of all that stuff!
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Well at least we are all in agreement here. Maybe we should start a new site. We could name it "Been There. Done That"

I find lately when I read the newer questions that I'm at a complete loss. The questions aren't ever just simple questions but sometimes a whole life story and the OP is never satisfied with the responses they get.
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Golden, I tossed all of my plastic storage containers. I could never find the right top! For health reasons it is recommended to replace them after a few years anyway. They cannot be sanitized.

Gershun, sometimes I think our knowledge of elder care has run out of usefulness. The next generation seems to be more protective of their time and lives. Something that many of us could have done better at; taking care of ourselves.
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Gershun should we call it "Past Caring"?
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Countrymouse yes! I can always count on you with your great wit and insight. 👏
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Glad, protective of their time and possibly a wee bit of selfishness? Just a bit.

The age old debate I guess. I suppose there's a fine line everyone has to draw between caring enough and knowing when to pack her in and let the professionals take over. Always makes for a good debate though.

I wish I knew then what I know now.
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Gershun what are you doing up, isn't it the middle of the night there?
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G, yes, some of that too.I

The way we raised our children was much different than the way out parents raised us. Many of us came from homes where stay-at-home moms were the standard. My dad would not allow my mom to work. She had a college degree and loved her profession of teaching home ec. They divorced over that, and other things I am sure. Mom earned a master's degree to better provide for her three girls. Dad committed suicide weeks after the divorce was final, I as 12.

So I grew up in a home where mom was independent and the bread earner. Now it takes both to be able to afford the things families want. Life is not as simple as when we were young and it is much more expensive.
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