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Tn techie you and your kids have big hearts. I hope the young man you took in will flourish and grow under your love and care. It says a lot that your simple and small acts of kindness and compassion for him when he was 11 had a great impact on him.
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God bless you and your new son TNtechie.

The love you have shown him left a lasting impression. You guys will do just fine.

I see this as a life long commitment. You now have a son and he has a mom that will love, guide and protect him. You have given him hope.

I will keep you all in my prayers.
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Llama, you’re in my thoughts. Get well.
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TN, your act of kindness will touch more lives than you will ever know.
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My dear Ali, Garden and Bundle,

thank you for your kind words, that really means a lot to me.
I could talk with the nurses who could give her some painkillers, but they cannot do more: I hope they can ask some other doctor.
I was able to make my mom eat and drink something for lunch. But in the afternoon she was again suffering a lot. I had another covid test this evening and I am negative so I will be allowed to visit her tomorrow.
I am so scared, scared she will die when I am not there and yet scared that she will die when I am there…
I feel so useless as I cannot do anything to help her.
I know death is part of life, I know she is 90 but she is my mom and I love her… I am so grateful this tiny, intelligent, strong woman is my mom.
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how are you Llama? Please take care!
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Real, I've never had a son, just spoiled the children and grandchildren of my brothers. So I'm real nervous about taking on this responsibility at my age. And I hurt at some of tge signs of his previous care. He's 15 and never played on any sports team. He's under weight and height charts for his age; his bone density is bad, he's anemic, he doesn't have much stamina.

I'm feeding him all the good food I can and assuring him anything in the fridge or cabinets is there him to eat!

I packed my rolling cooler with water,soda, cheese, ham slices, and grapes and dropped him and my 13 year old grand-nephew at a local pool so they could enjoy the diving boards; grand-nephew calls me after a couple of hours and tells me he's too tired to even enjoy sitting around with the other kids. I picked them up, make a stop at DQ, and came home. He went straight to bed and slept for over 4 hours.

He says he wants to play football and I have to tell him maybe next year when his bone density is higher. I worry about him shooting baskets with the neighborhood boys.

I was worried about him when he lived nearby and looking back I guess I fed him often. He certainly remembers dishes he wants me to cook now.

I have never personally encountered a child who was so neglected and I cannot really get my mind around how anyone could do this to a precious child. He wants to please SO MUCH and I have to be careful what I ask/expect of him. He first comment when I saw him again was he had improved his grades, something I emphasized when he visited my house.

He can't believe I gave him an allowance and took him to spend it all on candy and pokemon cards! Or that I provide admission and food and drinks at the pool or drive in movie, stuff he gets at the concession stand comes from his allowance.

I just want him to grow accustomed to a normal life! I do not want to mess up!
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TN, you are changing this child's entire life, and nothing short of that. I can't say how much I admire you for stepping in. Tender loving care during this formative time can heal many wounds, and you're providing that. Amazing! 💓

*There's much more to the details, as you've laid them out. But love and kindness are the foundation, and then good nutrition, maybe supplements, medical care, and time will help the rest. Poor boy. I'm so glad he's with you. You're an angel to do this.
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Oh you precious lady TN, you have all the right makings to be a mom to this precious son.

You have obviously, already, made him feel important and that is the greatest thing any mom can do. Let her children know they are worth the world.

My heart breaks for this young mans early upbringing, so awful to have to live through. So many physical challenges because no adult cared about his well-being. Grrr!

Once his anemia gets sorted out, he will have better stamina. That is the worst, you just feel tired all the time. I have iron deficency on occasion and I know when I wake up in the morning I need to take a blood builder that day.

You got this! You are doing everything right. And you both will be so blessed by this relationship.

Personally, I love boys. I find them easier to deal with and so much fun. They are more game then most girls and that works for me.

You are now the wind beneath his wings and he will soar under your love and care.

I look forward to hearing how he is growing and expanding and finding who he is and what his dreams are. Because you can't dream when you are just trying to survive. Good times ahead!

Great big warm hug! The world needs more people like you!
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Geaton, are the lidocaine patches also the pain patches?

I have used Salon Pas for a couple of decades and I love the slow, gentle, deep heat they provide but, I have never seen the lidocaine patches, so I am curious.
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ITRR, I've used the prescription Lidocaine patches for several years for neuropathy pain in my ankles. They're fairly effective and I do not take narcotic pain killers. They are expensive even with drug coverage. I use them at night, so my ankles don't keep me awake from pain. I tried the Salon Pas and they weren't nearly as effective.
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Becky, thank you for that information. I have prescription lidocaine patches and they just numb everything, no heat or anything. They are very effective at stopping pain.
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ITRR, the Salon Pas patches I use are OTC and provide no heat or cold. I think they're only .4% lidocaine but they're good enough for my needs.
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Would salon pas work for sciatica? I herniated a couple of discs about 15 years ago. I have a TENS unit. This most recent flare up causes significant pain.
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OK then. Check with your doctor.
Side effects requiring immediate medical attention
Along with its needed effects, LIDOCAINE TOPICAL may cause some unwanted effects. Although not all of these side effects may occur, if they do occur they may need medical attention.
Check with your doctor immediately if any of the following side effects occur while taking lidocaine topical:
Rare
Blistering, crusting, irritation, itching, or reddening of the skin
cough
cracked, dry, or scaly skin
fast heartbeat
fever
hives or welts, itching, skin rash
hoarseness
irritation
joint pain, stiffness, or swelling
large, hive-like swelling on the face, eyelids, lips, tongue, throat, hands, legs, feet, or genitals
noisy breathing
swelling of the eyelids, face, lips, hands, or feet
tightness in the chest
trouble breathing or swallowing
Incidence not known
Blistering, bruising, burning, discoloration, itching, redness, or swelling at the application site
bluish-colored lips, fingernails, or palms
blurred vision
chest pain or discomfort
cold, clammy, or pale skin
confusion
dark urine
dizziness, faintness, or lightheadedness when getting up suddenly from a lying or sitting position
drowsiness or dizziness
false or unusual sense of well-being
fear or nervousness
headache
irregular, fast or slow, or shallow breathing
loss of consciousness
no blood pressure or pulse
pale or blue lips, fingernails, or skin
puffiness or swelling of the eyelids or around the eyes, face, lips, or tongue
rapid heart rate
seizures
shakiness in the legs, arms, hands, or feet
slow or irregular heartbeat
sore throat
stopping of the heart
trembling or shaking of the hands or feet
twitching
unusual bleeding or bruising
unusual drowsiness, dullness, tiredness, weakness, or feeling of sluggishness
Side effects not requiring immediate medical attention
Some side effects of lidocaine topical may occur that usually do not need medical attention. These side effects may go away during treatment as your body adjusts to the medicine. Also, your health care professional may be able to tell you about ways to prevent or reduce some of these side effects.
Check with your health care professional if any of the following side effects continue or are bothersome or if you have any questions about them:
Incidence not known
Bad, unusual, or unpleasant (after) taste
change in taste
cold or numbness
confusion about identity, place, and time
continuing ringing or buzzing or other unexplained noise in the ears
double vision
hearing loss
heat sensation
lack or loss of strength
metallic taste
sleepiness or unusual drowsiness

After using Lidocaine 5% Ointment (expired) on my lowest spine, piriformis muscle, I am feeling a false or unusual sense of well-being. Ahhhh. Yep, Lol, I don't care. It is so nice to have pain relief.

Disclaimer: It is a prescription medication, to be taken seriously. Whatever you do, wash your hands, do not touch your eyes. When receiving this medication, it had a chart with how much dosage per inch on a chart-follow all instructions.
Max. dose is 6 inches (per day?)
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My husband's PT said to get a cream or ointment OTC with a high concentration of Menthol, rub that on the painful parts.

It is said best to treat at the origin of sciatica pain because it is not advisable to slather the Lidocaine or Menthol up and down the entire back, leg, and ankle, foot and toes.

Look into Voltaren Gel to reduce inflammation of the sciatic nerve. imo.

An online poster stated: "Some people who suffer from sciatica pain turn to topical relief including Salonpas patches, creams and liquids. “I have a lot of sciatic pain,” reports a woman on a web discussion board on sciatica. “I do slow, deliberate stretches and for trigger points, my go-to is Salonpas Pain Relief Patches.”
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All: Thank you so much for your concern. I have posted my dialogue to the My "Whine Moment Today" thread since that was where I had posted my OP. Thank you again, dear friends - truly, you mean the world to me.
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Anche: I'm attempting to recover; thank you.
PB: Thank you.
Countrymouse: Yes, I did seek additional help at the hospital. I'm not one to wait anything out; thank you.
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Had a really nice day! Took a trip to the grocery for weekly supplies which includes 2 gallons of milk and 6 cannonball watermons... yes I did day 6. The foster son is on a watermelon spree and eats almost a while one a day, well a grand-nephew or two helps him out occasionally. I was initially worried he was eating too much melon but he's eating other foods well too so I'm letting him indulge. Then we watched 4 movies: Venom 1 &2 and Sonic the Hedgehog 1 & 2 (a rainy day).

The doctor says the kid had subpar nutrition for only a few months in recent history (probably once his father got sick) and he will recover quickly with good food. He's gained 7lbs and his color and energy already seems to be improving. This week we will go shopping for some jeans and shirts and maybe take in a skate session - they are short (2 hours) during the summer afternoons.

I had to go to the wall with a guidance consular to get him the elective he wants in the fall. He is going to take all the vocational courses offered thru high school: auto mechanics, wood working, welding 1 & 2 (which earns a certificate), electrical wiring, etc. He seems excited to see which one might tickle his fancy for technical training after high school as an alternative to college. Although he might be he's starting to believe I expect him to stay for a while. I think he likes auto mechanic; he helped me change the oil and top the fluids in my car last week as well as clean it out from a 7 year olds melting ice cream cone.

My 7 year old grand-nephew likes having foster son around... because I now have all the fixings in the fridge for taco wraps and beef-n-cheddar wraps and vegetable beef soup and chicken noodle soup and beef and broccoli plates... plus watermelon!
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Noticed a delay in delivery of private messages. A glitch in technology that is likely not limited to the AgingCare website.

Carry on, "as if" things are all okay.
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TNtechie, regarding your [foster son?] and figuring out possible future careers... IMO electric cars/trucks will be here sooner rather than later, and there will be very little to do on cars of the future. Maybe better as a hobby... But welding is another story. There is a shortage of welders. Training between 6 months and 2 years, and some get paid 6 figures their first year out. Some employers will pay for the training in exchange for a work commitment. No weekends, no overtime. Never "on call". Not a high-risk occupation. No college debt. A totally portable skill. Mike Rowe (the Dirty Jobs guy) has a great podcast and interviewed a young entrepreneur who is currently paying his welders this much and can't grow his business without more people -- he's literally begging people to go into welding. Robots can't go to a job site. My cousin just retired as a welder, still works some gigs cause they're so short but makes hella-bucks. Just a thought.
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Glad, from what I'm reading online lidocaine patches can help with sciatica. I'd talk to your doc to see if a prescription strength one would be your best option. I had sciatica when I was pregnant. Ouch ouch ouch...!
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I imagine there will still be a lot of car to fix beyond the actual engine even when there are no longer many fuel burners on the road 30 years from now, and all my major repairs have had to do with brakes, A/C, bearings and other parts of the suspension and drive systems. There will also probably always be gear heads with their classic cars.
Aside from cars there is still all that lawn and recreational vehicle equipment that nobody seems to be in a hurry about converting to electric, and semi trucks and heavy equipment are not going anywhere.
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TNtechie: What a wonderful opportunity you have given this foster son! Hats off to you!
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TN, I always said my nephews had hollow legs, the amount of food they could consume was impressive. Watermelon is such a great snack. What a great way to reaffirm that his needs are important. It's the small things that make great impressions.

Skating is a great way to get exercise and build stamina. Did you skate? :-) I love to and am happy we have a rink in my city.

It sounds like you are on a wonderful journey and having a great time with your son. Cuz ya know, you are going to be his mom forever, that's what a loving, secure base does for these youngsters that have lost everything and were blessed enough to find someone like you and your family to be their new family. They don't age out when a relationship has been created.

God bless you for what you are giving him.
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Real, I skated in my younger years but now my arthritis bothers so much I afraid if I fell I wouldn't be able to walk for weeks! I skate a little in the basement and under the basketball goal to encourage the youngins but otherwise my skating days are behind me.

I do remain one of the few adults that will take the kids skating for an entire 3-4 hour session. I even took the kids to an overnight skate when the oldest (at the time) was 13. We have a good skate ring but I knew there would be older and more people so the deal was I go and stay if you want to attend. Unless I'm taking the "littles" (kids under 12) I usually just do drop off and pick up these days.
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BTW: I do not expect him to age out. My comment about looking at this as an 8 year commitment was more about me looking at my health and being able to commit to being here for him. As doctors warned me my years of focused goal oriented living in spite of how much congestion I mained in my lungs (mostly from working in smoke filled offices until my 40s) has caused some right side heart failure. I'm recovering from a serious spell that devoped while I cared for my Mom during the covid scare. I'm doing well and probably have a good 20 years left; unless I do something stupid like I did in the last months I was taking care of Mom. I developed lung congestion normally associated with spring/fall and couldn't understand why I had ongoing problems or why it wouldn't clear, not realizing until after Mom died and I finally went to the doctor the congestion was fluid collecting in my lungs! I almost died of stupidity. I will be around for the kid as long as the Lord allows and I just pray it will be enough.
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Just a thought on gas powered vs. electric vehicles: the latter are still in the testing stage, and there have been problems, just as there were and still are with gas powered vehicles.

But one aspect which I haven't seen addressed in the hullabaloo over EVs is how everyone below certain income thresholds are going to be to afford these w/o going into great debt.

I couldn't possibly afford one; I don't even buy new cars; I can only afford used ones. An EV is and would still be entirely out of my reach, for the rest of my life, UNLESS the prices came down drastically, as in by tens of thousands of dollars.

I've been thinking about moving to the country and getting a horse with a small pull behind trailer instead.
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Another thing people aren't considering is that electric vehicles are not environmentally friendly and they use child labor to get the toxic materials for the batteries. Not to mention the electric grid in the USA needs major upgrading if they expect everyone to be charging their cars. Plus life span of said batteries and cost to either replace battery or just buy another car means more waste. Ironic they had some festival i think it was last weekend where they had an EV charging station which was being powered by diesel. Lol. This is like the CFL light bulbs that are filled with toxic mercury. Not really saving the planet but most people don't care as long as they feel good about thinking they are doing something.
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sp19690, many people aren't aware that currently (no pun intended) electric car batteries are very heavy and they cause the tires to wear out twice as fast. And who knows how hard they are on the wear of the roads. One of our clients is a "smart home" designer. In researching the field I'm learning that most cars right now sit unused 90% of the time. Many high-end home owners (in sunny states like TX and FL) are using solar to collect power and storing it in batteries in their garages for use "on demand" or selling it back to the grid. Electric car batteries can power most things in our homes in the event of an outage.
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