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Still no dialysis tech. I don’t like going to a center. Somebody has to take back and forth. That along with dialysis is tiring. I’m interviewing two people tomorrow. Hope I get lucky.
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Send, I don't enjoy the whole sitting around a table making phony talk. Which is what it all is with my family. Inevitably, the embarrassing stories about me start. Really? Was I the only person in a family of eight that had humiliating things happen? No, I wasn't. But, seems like that's the big conversation starter. When I get quiet and look bothered by it, it escalates.

Oh, and the copious amount of alcohol that my family consumes. Probably the only way we tolerate each other. I personally nurse a glass of wine all night. And that brings up another thing with my family. The "let's get (fill in name) drunk." I've never understood the appeal of deliberating trying to get someone drunk. Not to mention letting said person get behind the wheel of a car after you've "gotten them drunk" Another form of ridiculing someone. My family has always enjoyed that.

I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they've changed. But I'm still waiting. Hasn't happened yet. Maybe this year?
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Becky, hope you can find another dialysis tech that you like.
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Gershun, your family sounds un-nice. I wouldn't want to be around them.
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Gershun, I used to work with a lady who said her family played games like "Let's pick on A" or "Let's get B drunk!".

She decided one year to book a cheap package holiday. Cheap because while it was a lovely tropical place at other times, December had awful humidity & hardly any tourists or activities - but she enjoyed her alone time (safe from family & ex-family). The next year her adult kid wanted to come & a new tradition was born.

Send, clean-up at our events now come with risk of incontinence care clean-ups.

I am also weighing things up - if the past fond memories + FOG outweigh the known + potential problems.

What scenario would be the least worst.. 🤯
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I apologize for going on about my family. I guess it's this time of year that stirs everything up in me. The inevitable should I be there for Christmas? My sister threw out her invite early this year probably so people can't come up with "last minute" excuses why they can't come. Which leads me to think that none of us really enjoy being around each other. One of my sisters doesn't even make up an excuse. She just doesn't come or answer e-mails etc. I always wondered why in my mom's last letter to us before she died she said she hoped we would keep in touch with one another. She must have known we likely wouldn't.

The older I get the less easy it is for me to handle toxic people. So maybe people aren't getting worse, I'm just less tolerant. So I suppose that's on me.
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Oh I get it.. the first little whisper of THAT holiday brings up shudders here too.

How about my sister's fav tactic *the stall* : That date looks good at the moment - I'll let you know if anything de-rails us.

A 'soft' commitment while you file it under *later* for a week or two. Give yourself time for your boundaries to message you.
🙃
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(((((gershun))))) You can't change them. And expecting them to change is likely unrealistic. It may be marginally possible but it is unlikely.

I think being less tolerant of toxic people is healthy, Setting boundaries with toxic people is healthy. Who on earth wants to go to dinner with people who put them down - again and again and again. Your sister who stays apart may be onto something. Maybe she doesn't enjoy those get togethers either and has established the necessary boundaries.

My mother wanted me and my sister to keep in touch. Well, it not happening. My sister is toxic to me and I have had enough of that for a lifetime.

Something I read recently in a devotional by Lysa Terkeurst.

"Love can be unconditional … but relational access never should be. And boundaries help us protect this. Boundaries help us keep ourselves together so we can be the people God has called us to be."

We need to set our relational access as appropriate to the behaviours of others. You don't have to go anywhere where you are made to feel uncomfortable. You have established that with your husband's family. You can set the same boundaries with your own family. There's nothing wrong with that. God says "Guard your heart".

Further quote by Lysa T

"We aren’t trying to protect ourselves FROM love. If we love, we will risk being hurt. But we are trying to protect ourselves FOR love. We don’t want to get so consumed with the pain and chaos of unhealthy relationship patterns that we become a carrier of human hurt rather than a conduit of God’s love."
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o m g .....
All these many years, I just now realized....
It's Puss In Boots,

Not Puss and Boots!

The last time I invited my sister, she said "I will pencil you in".

Ha ha ha, the very last time, ever!

The best answer could be: "We've made other plans".
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My answer via e-mail was"I haven't even thought about Christmas yet, I'll let you know down the road a bit"
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Golden, and that's just it. How can one be a conduit of God's love when one is feeling personal hurt?

I grapple with these feelings on an almost daily basis. It isn't just with my family either. My in-law's are impossible too. Everything is always on their terms. I learned this very early and avoid them.
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Becky: I do hope that one of the dialysis tech interviews will work out. Good luck.
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That's it, gershun - you can't and God doesn't expect you too. That's why He gives direction to, for example, guard your heart. If guarding your heart means limited or no contact so be it.

ETA
It took me a long time to understand and accept that.
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Well, thank-you again for sharing your wisdom Golden.

Baby steps as they say.
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Drove in to work yesterday morning. In an airbnb three nights this week. Back home Friday. Should only need to do this twice more! Maybe once, depending on how it all comes together.
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No dialysis tech. Interviews were fair. Didn’t pass background checks. Made appts for the rest of the week at dialysis center. Get to know more of the local wino population.
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I picked up my new to me windows 11 computer this afternoon and I've been busy trying to figure everything out. One thing that is going to give me big headaches is the cloud library, there doesn't seem to be a desktop app option any more. I need to get my books downloaded to my PC and then transferred to my e-reader and I used to simply plug it in and click transfer, easy peasy. 😬


And I HATE the different emojis (does that look like a grimace to you?)
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And then a questionable radon test! The Rockies not at all uncommon, but buyer in the 80's maybe do not understand?

Going to check out carpet samples tomorrow to replace maybe 15 year old carpet.
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cw -No desktop!!!! Aaack!!!! I use my desktop. I haven't converted to Windows 11.

Radon, glad??? In the home you are considering buying? That's not good.
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Radon is more common than not here. A radon mitigation system is installed in the home and then not considered an issue. And the gases had been building up for four years since I rarely use the basement and it is sealed off with a door. I have never even opened windows.down there.

When the inspector placed the test I asked how often they come back positive at unacceptable levels. He said 2/3 of the time. Radon in the home I am selling, will find out about the new home today.

And in july, the state adopted new requirements for the testing and maintenance of the systems. Who knows if the test or system were in compliance.
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Oh it's still a desktop PC Golden, no way am I giving that up!
But it seems that more and more developers are focusing on the tablet and smart phone market, which IMO is making desktop navigation less intuitive. I tried for an hour to get some new desktop icons but there were so. many. steps. And in the end I just pinned the most used ones to the task bar instead. (Whatever happened to drag and drop?)

I think I've got the library working. I had to reauthorize adobe digital additions and I'll have to go back to downloading the books there before transferring to my e-reader... that's a bunch of extra steps that were eliminated with the cloud library app.
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Did you know black bears like pumpkins? I didn't until this fall. If you have a fall pumpkin display outside your house, the bears are calling. Several videos of them munching away on pumpkins! Just another item in the "don't attract the bears" list.

My nephew's wife had 3 pumpkins on her porch... then they were gone. My ring video shows 2 yearling cubs walking across the property...
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cw - I meant the app. I have used laptops exclusively for years and am morphing into hybrids. My dd uses a tablet only. I haven't got there yet and may never. I am very slowly using my iPhone more. I agree smart phones and tablets are the direction for the future. I am amazed that R is using his smart phone more!!!

glad - I know there are solutions - even air purifiers I believe.

technie -another good reason for me not to display a pumpkin. I had a bear garbage raider earlier this year.
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TN, Yikes, bears calling.

We attract javelina if we put pumpkins out or the trash can.

We have a herd about 15 strong with babies roaming our neighborhood right now. One of the adult males challenged my truck, I guess I got to close to the babies.

How was your trip? Everyone have a blast?
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Cwillie and Golden,, today I had to get into a zoom meeting for work,, holy heck it was a mess! I had to reload zoom,, no go! Finally got it on my Kindle of all things! I still could not talk, but at least they knew I attended!
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pamz - I decline Zoom meetings but of course you can't for work. My financial advisor in another city likes to do them. I chose a regular phone call - not even facetime - too distracting!
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Real, we've still on our trip. This is the last full day and we head home tomorrow morning or early afternoon. Yes, the boys have had a lot of fun. Days spent in the hotel water park (mostly on the slides and in the wave pool), then a early supper and heading to the nascar park for a couple hours of go carts (larger carts for the bigger boys and smaller, slower carts for the younger boys), then back to the hotel for snacks and a movie. The advantage of bringing my 17 yo football player is he can lift the younger boys off the couch and carry them to their beds when they fall asleep during the movie. Last night instead of a restaurant meal they wanted pizza to save time. Nascar park closes at 8 this time of year; when I had the grand-nephews here before it was summer and they were open till midnight. They all want another trip next summer so I guess we'll be back; probably every year for a while.
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Will never give up my desk top computer. For one, I can read the monitor so easily. Heavens, I bought my second-hand monitor for $50 about 15 years ago, still works like new. If I try to enlarge the font on my cellphone I would be reading one letter at a time. Don't forget, as we age, so do our eyes. I hope those who build future technology remember that.

I have what is a senior keyboard with easy to read letters, it's called "Keys U See", have had it for 10 years now. Yellow keys with black lettering. I tried to use a laptop, but the flat keyboard made my hands ache.

Have to use a mouse, because I have age related mild tremors, with a laptop that arrow was all over the place.

Sig-other use to use a laptop, but eventually he plugged in a new monitor, a senior keyboard, and a mouse. He was also running into age related issues and how is happy as a clam with his new setup.
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Domino effect. Lost my contract, so did buyer, their home is now accepting backups and had been pending. Who knows, their buyer may have lost a contract too.😔😔
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techie -glad it is going so well for you and your brood

ff - I use a mouse with my laptops, and hard mouse pads, have a backlit keyboard and set the magnification to suit me which may vary from day to day with CFS blurriness. To each his/her own!

glad - I am so sorry you lost your contract. I know you are looking forward to getting settled in a new home closer to work.
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