Countrymouse Posted November 2018
On My Mind
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Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.
I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.
Captain used to private message wild stuff to me! He was hilarious at times! He was certainly unique! Not your average poster.
I caught him after his caregiving days. Didn’t he care for his aunt or something like that? I missed all of that.
That’s as bad as these reality shows that are scripted to a degree.
My friend just texted me to join her for an iced coffee. I’m heading out.
I think the point is that many posters are in that situation right now: it’s actually totally connected to caregiving. The posters are caring for abusive, elderly parents. That makes it very hard for the caregiver. (By caregiver, I don’t mean hands-on. I mean any form of helping/caregiving).
It’s not a coincidence that it’s so common for caregivers on this forum to be abused. A responsible, empathetic, non-abusive parent by definition wouldn’t want their adult child to caregive.
Just as it’s helped me, I’m sure the information on abused caregivers will help others in the future.
I sometimes feel like saying "Throw 'em all overboard!"
I get it.
It gets better until it gets worse until it gets better again until it gets worse etc .
You want this cycle to stop. Every day waiting for the other shoe to drop .
You are being pulled in 3 directions
1) help mom today
2) help myself today
3) just survive today
You know what YOU WANT to do , but it can be so hard when you have been doing what someone else wants you to do. Once we take on doing for others, it’s hard to stop.
I recognize your rants , it’s you fighting for your independence from the abuse because simply coping isn’t enough anymore . It’s a very emotional , angry time . You will overcome this and learn to live your own life again. ((((Hugs))))
No one can take care of anyone else,
unless they take care of themselves first.
Sometimes, just get in the shower, but hurry.
Not ranting. Trying to help anyone who’s in a situation of helping abusive elderly parents. It’s good to understand what they do. After that, you have a much clearer idea of what’s going on.
It is a bit weird.
Maybe if we followed our own advice, that would work for us?
When a home is draped for termites, doesn't everyone have to leave?
Speaking of the Captain. He did speak to the spirit of rebellion we all have in us.
Let's treat the newbies with a message from the Captain:
LOL Barb! You are right, "Courtesy of the Captain"!
anonymous158299
Dec 2014
they havent forced the evacuation of indianapolis yet , or cinncinnatti , or cleveland , england ,
germany , australia or israel .
i still would be apprehensive about getting authorities involved tho , most are rich kids too detached from common folk to even understand the world . diotomecious earth fk ' s bedbugs up but you have to use it properly then leave it alone . if your gonna get ocd and vaccum it back up every day your wasting your time . the human hosts are the targets . isolate every bed and chair where a human spends time with the DE . then its a waiting game -- youre the bait . the bugs are going to walk thru the DE to bite you but in doing so theyre gonna die . pestmall online sells great zip up mattress and box spring cover pretty reasonably . before you zip up the mattress toss DE inside the covers . a spray bottle full of wintergreen alcohol kills bugs and eggs on contact for the occasions when you see one . you can wipe them out but it takes a couple of months . DE is just pulverized sea corral . it isnt poisonous and wont hurt humans . if you see bugs or exoskeletons inside of fluffy chairs or couches , burn the furniture . sitting it to the curb is just the wrong thing to do . dont burn expensive beds , theyre easy to protect and treat . DE is dirt cheap on ebay .
bed bugs dont travel far . they only live within about an 8 ft radius of where humans sit and sleep . they aint hangin out in the kitchen is what im sayin .
You're on your own there. It's obvious you are one of us who would never get his humor. Innocence is bliss, maybe it pertains to you.
You do ask a lot of questions, advising that maybe you do not want to know all the answers.
Weird though, that women especially can get to an advanced age and be presumed to have virgin ears.
You woulda had to have been there. Continue being nice to others. That will go further than insulting them, telling them their "shower post" was bizarre.
Yes, I was insulted, but I forgive you, Lol.
Carry on.
I am not myself these past 5 days. Got bit by a spider.
The fact is, over time, I collected a lot of useful information on elderly people who abuse their caregivers, and who were always abusive in their lives. By caregiver, I mean any type of helping (doesn’t have to be hands-on).
Rather than keep the information to myself, I prefer to share it on my thread, in case it’s useful for people (now and years from now) who’re being abused by the people they care for.
It’s too bad some of you were annoyed that there were many posts about this. It must be that you yourself are not currently in such a situation (or if you are, you already have an exit plan).
But I know for a fact, that many forum members ARE in such an abusive situation right now. And any information can help: it can create a lightbulb moment (like “Oh my God!! That’s what MY mom’s been doing too, WHILE I’m helping HER. I finally understand what she’s been doing my whole life. I can now make whatever decisions I need to make, now that I know the game she’s been playing with me.”)
So although those many posts might not be useful for those who were annoyed to see them: they might in fact be very useful for other people who ARE in that very unfair, abusive situation, WHILE helping the abusive LO.
Abusive doesn’t have to be physical/verbal/etc…
It can also be abusive in the sense of exploitative: there’s a limit where the elderly person might be stealing WAY TOO MUCH of someone else’s time.
In fact, the caregiver might not even realize they’re being abused (exploited).
An empathetic, just, fair elderly person doesn’t want to steal your life.
Was the post in questions or discussions? Check each section.
Makes me wonder what else is censored? What other opinions, comments are we missing out on?
Just making jokes, and it's all in love. Any conflict I ever had with him was minor and is long over. I do hope his son's killer was found and brought to justice to help provide some kind of closure. That's an unfathomable loss.
Good Morning everyone!
Wondering what good can come from taking the discussion in this direction:
accusing AC of censoring; asserting one's perceived rights; calling to task the admins of AC; instigating negative speculation about what "they" may be withholding from posters/members???
Because we are but guests, voluntary contributors on this forum. It is about caregiving.
AC has told us the why of many things, but it appears people aren't listening:
Excerpt on top of everybody's Newsfeed, the first two posts from AC Admins:
"Moderators will not have the authority to reverse suspensions or removals and will not discuss them with other members. These boundaries have been drawn to preserve the safety and integrity of the forum."
If the Moderators will not discuss suspensions or removals with other members, it would be rude to discuss it amongst all of us, imo.
It serves no purpose, unless a poster has the goal of instigating divisions or a disturbance. The AC Forum does not answer to us.
Carry on, stop being suspicious and paranoid. As best you can. Avoid people who cause dissensions.
And I see nothing wrong with commenting on that. Nor do I see anything wrong with pointing out that we might be missing out on other comments and opinions as well, on other topics.
I’m not fearful of expressing the fact that a thread was eliminated. I see nothing wrong with saying it.
Our written opinions on the site, have consequences. You might be pushing an OP into the wrong direction, wrong decision, without that ever having been your intention. That’s why it’s so important to allow a variety of written opinions. Within all that variety, OP might find some useful and factually correct solutions.
It’s dangerous to censor too much.
One sign of too much censorship is, not the realization that you mustn’t use bad language, but the fear to express how you really feel. Even having to warn others: careful expressing what you really think.
Another sign of too much censorship is not allowing a variety of points of views to be expressed.