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My brother’s Celebration of Life is this weekend. I am sure that it will be filled with many emotions and memories for me.
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Need

((((Hugs))))
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Thanks, Way.

My SIL planned everything with my nephews. I’m sure it will be nice even though it’s a sad reason to have a gathering.

He had faith but didn’t want a religious service. He wasn’t a guy who believed in any particular doctrine. So, we will gather to celebrate his life.

I know that music is planned as a tribute to him. My brother was one of the best guitarists that I know. He was friends with many other musicians. He loved having a studio in his house with tons of instruments. He played piano too.

Playing music was the only time that I saw him in total peace without thinking of his heart issues. I will miss hearing him play.

Let me tell you how determined that he was to play the guitar as a kid.

Money was tight and daddy said that a guitar wasn’t in the budget at that time, so my brother built his first guitar in a wood shop class at school.

When my mom saw that he built a guitar, she said to my dad, “We will cut back wherever we need to so that he can take lessons.

He played in several bands throughout his life. He taught music for years as well. My nephews play music, along with great nieces, great nephews, aunts, uncles and cousins.

One of my great nieces has played her violin all over the world. My brother was so proud of his grandchildren.

My niece hasn’t even finished college yet and is writing film scores and using the money towards her education.

The kid would be in the backseat of my car when she was 8 or 9 and when I asked her why she was so quiet, she would say, I am writing a song.

I guess that I am reminiscing some. I have probably bored you to death. Sorry, so many memories in my head at this time. I’m still in a little bit of disbelief that he is gone.
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Need,
May the Lord lift you up as you attend your brother's memorial
celebration this weekend.
So sorry for your loss. 🕯
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Thanks so much, Send.
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Bounce, in Lewiston, Maine, I believe. Big state.
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Great!
Grand!
Thanks Bounce and Need.
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Those poor souls in Maine

“ If I had my way they’d take metal altogether out of this world . Every blade , every gun “ .

Cold Mountain .

Every shooting makes me think of this line .
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Way,

The shootings turn my stomach. It’s horrible.
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Goodnight 🌙 💤 all! I’m tired. Going to bed.
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Need: Hugs for you to get through your brother's Celebration of Life.
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Send: Your avatar is unchanged. What photo?
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Llama - Send is playing tricks on us and changing her avatar when we are asleep.
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I live in Portland, Maine and the state is in shock over the shootings. Many schools are closed, even far from the affected community, as are the campuses of the University of Maine system. There's been no official news since last night, with the next update expected at 10:30am eastern time. We don't even know the exact number killed and wounded, but last we heard it was 15-20 killed, at several different locations. The shooter's car was found abandoned in a community neighboring Lewiston, where the shootings happened, and so far as we know he's still on the loose. Maine has I think the lowest crime rate in the country, but does have one of the highest rates of gun ownership per capita in the U.S. There's a long hunting tradition here.
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The world is in shock newbiewife. But for me it's become like hearing that your addict relative has ODed. Again.
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Thanks for your kind words, Bounce.
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Good luck this weekend, Need.
Personally I LOVE the stories. It makes your brother real for me.
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A prodromal symptom of a melt down or panic anxiety attack can be a brief euphoric mood.
We can plan for this reaction ahead of time by not being caught off guard, decreasing stress, and getting more rest. Or even taking meds ahead of time.

For the caregivers and the patients.


Moon: 93.9%
Waxing Gibbous
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I dreamt me and my mom were out of town and we, unintentionally, drove to a hospital. She was sitting in the car and told me she was feeling faint and felt she was about to have a heart attack. I ran into the hospital to get a wheelchair, even though she relies on one and would have it with her in real life.

I really, really hope the heart attack portion doesn't come true and it was all just a wild dream. Heart attacks run in her family and she's lost loved one to those. She lost other relatives to strokes.
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We did not make old people old , but some act like we did .
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Way.

Plus, younger people don’t want to live like they are in their 80’s, 90’s and 100’s!

Some elderly people aren’t happy unless people do everything they demand from them.

When people spend all of their time and energy on their elderly family members, they don’t have time to spend with friends their own age.

The stress causes caregivers to end up feeling like they are 100 years old!
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Need ,

I worked with the elderly for 20 plus years before I switched to kids.
I loved it. It was rewarding to keep them comfortable , some of them were very enjoyable to be around , they would tell interesting stories . Of course it’s sad as well, and some were very grouchy . But I went home and it was over for the day . After 20 plus years I did need a change and I made that change , worked in schools .

After taking care of difficult elderly family members it has proven to be a totally different dynamic then taking care of strangers .
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Way, I can guess, but could you elaborate on the “totally different dynamic” for taking care of strangers versus family members?
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@Margaret,

I’ll give examples .

Professional caring for a patient who is a stranger …..No matter how sad a case was or how difficult a patient is , it’s not personal and you brush it off better and go home .

Daughter caring for difficult aging parent….. Parent does not want to be told what they need to do by the daughter . “ You can’t tell me what to do , I’m your mother “. As dementia got worse it became totally impossible . “ Why are you doing this to me ?” , and crying meltdowns because I asked her to eat . She honestly thought I was being mean to her when I said it was time to wash and put on clean clothes. She got insulted , She eventually refused to do anything . Those things needed to be taken care of by a stranger that my mother did not have any emotional feelings towards . It was very distressing for me as well .

My SIL criticized me for placing my mother in AL . Only a year later my SIL rescued her Mom from living alone with dementia but her Mom was a peach . A pleasant , cooperative lady . My SIL was retired , and her and my brothers house already had an in law bed and bathroom downstairs . The elderly woman had plenty of money to hire caregivers to come into the home as well . My SIL placed her mother in AL right away and eventually memory care anyway because my SIL could not handle watching the decline 24/7 .

I took care of Dad with cancer . At first he was stubborn with some things . But mostly it was fine . When he was really ill and knew he was dying, He was always thanking me so much , that it got uncomfortable . It changed our relationship . I missed my Dad .
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Bounce and blickbob: Yes, correct on the subconscious mind. Fascinating, really.
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Thanks, Alva.
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@waytomisery, I totally agree about daughters taking care of a difficult parent. Even the simplest suggestion from me turns into a power struggle with my mom. Her caregiver, who does have some medical training but is not certified, can say in an authoritative voice, “it’s time to take your medicine” and she will do it. If I do the same she accuses me of trying to drug her.
This is my second day in a row of not going over there. I’m super anxious. It’s almost harder than being there (so I’m checking the forum every hour lol). But I need to do this.
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Rest in peace. Matthew Perry.
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It’s chilly here this morning! For us, anyway.

Rode my exercise bike while listening to my favorite music. Just sitting down enjoying my coffee now.

Music is so soothing for the soul. Remembering fondly how much music meant to my brother. Songs convey beautiful emotions that live on forever.
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It's chilly here too, there was heavy frost this morning - hope the kids have costumes that fit over their heavy jackets.
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