Countrymouse Posted November 2018
On My Mind
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Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.
I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.
Some AL are very nice , but no matter how nice , moving in AL often is a reminder of someone’s age and decline . Change is hard .
Some choose to go in AL on their own and love it . But many would rather stay in their homes.
I have not had any relative willing or happy to leave their home when they needed placement.
My parents and FIL are deceased . We are now trying to get MIL to go to AL . It won’t happen easily . Thank God it’s the last one .
Preconcieved ideas prevent some people from trying to make the best of the years they have left while in AL .
Dad never was materialistic, so he never missed his house and the things he had in the house. He knew because of his advanced age that he could no longer use his workshop, nor putter around in the yard which he enjoyed.
But then again, he grew up in a farm house that had no inside plumbing nor electricity, so I think he was appreciative of things he did have at Memory Care.
The modern ones are white or beige, bland, featureless inside with some arrangement of beige or grey outside. A 'wheige' box inside a larger 'greige' box.
In contrast, my Aunt's AL room had plush carpet, natural wooden look furniture & bright but tasteful upholstery.
I know that's just *stuff*.. & it goes against my earlier comments about adjusting to AL by choosing to be happy wherever you are. Call me fickle today 😂
We’ve been on the downsize search as well. I posted earlier about the difficulties in finding anything with a master bed and bath downstairs that either is not a total gut inside or if we find one in good shape the price per square foot is ridiculous due to high demand with many boomers by me selling houses to younger families . ( I’m one year younger than the boomers, not that it matters ). However , by me real estate is still hot . DH and I can’t justify spending that much per square foot , the 55 and overs have gone up over $50,000 in the last 6 months . We have decided to suspend our search for now . My house is not huge . If we have to stay we will reno the bathroom and get a stairlift someday . Although I really wanted no stairs . And will hire snow removal at some point . The big yard is annoying though . I already pay to have it mowed , since DH’s accident . But I do the rest . When DH retires we can expand our search area without having a work commute to be a concern .
I would love to sell my house to a nice young family , if I could find something . Downsizing should cost less not more . The math just doesn’t support a move right now . We are trying to keep money in savings for our future care needs .
adding on would be very expensive . I thought about we could put a full bathroom and closets where the dining room is although it would be weird since it’s by the front door . And my husbands office could be a bedroom ( no closets ) , would have to put double doors to close up the office . The problem with that is if we had to sell , no one would want to buy the house with a bathroom where the dining room should be . A stair lift would be cheaper and more easily removed to sell the house . The half bath is not able to be expanded , because of its location in a small hallway leading to the garage between the laundry room , and kitchen .
"Some AL are very nice , but no matter how nice , moving in AL often is a reminder of someone’s age and decline"
I do know that these places exist for a good reason and many people live satisfying lives there but I'm so tired of the narrative that this is a "good thing" (as Martha Stewart used to say). It may be a necessary thing but if it was such a good thing there'd be a whole lot more of us living in communes.
R was in an automobile accident. He (in a Ford Explorer) was rear-ended by a car driven by a girl on some drugs, Both vehicles were totalled. He has head injuries - severe concussion, some eye and teeth problems and a very sore head, neck and chest. The young driver had a broken leg and the other two girls were not injured.
He has been in hospital since Monday 15th and is coming home tomorrow. We are so thankful it wasn't worse.
You never know when your life is going to be stirred up do you?
May The Lord give you both strength and comfort during this difficult time.
I'm glad R is well enough to come home.
Prayers for R and of course you.
So sorry for this scary and painful accident.
I'm sure you will be glad to have R home again.
Will be thinking of both of you and hoping for no lasting effects.
Thinking of both of you in this horrible crisis.
So sorry.
Hoping R will be OK and recovers.
Thinking of you.
Let us know how you are both doing.
Sure looks like you have lots of fires and smoke there, again. I have lost my view of Pikes Peak because of smoke from Canada fires here.
R is still in hospital as he gets dizzy and worse headaches when he gets up. He needs the walker to be mobile. He is still on heavy painkillers for the headaches but refused more morphine. Yesterday they did some PT with him walking with the walker. Hopefully they will keep that up so he builds up strength as his head heals. You waste away lying in a hospital bed.
He is losing weight not that he needs to) as they are not feeding him enough!!! I told the nurse he needs more food so she will arrange to up his portions and see he has a sandwich at night. He doesn't like to complain! I got him oj and a snack last night from the machines and I'll bring in some healthy (and a few not so healthy 😋) snacks - yop, yogurt, nuts, fruit and cookies. etc. today,
He is weak and I expect he will be there a few days yet. We can't have a fall!!! I doubt he will be able to drive for a while between his vision and the dizziness/headaches.
The good news is he was thoroughly checked out (4 hospitals) and all else is good - even his blond sugar, which has been in the prediabetic range for years, is now normal. He has been motivated to cut back on sweet stuff and I am here to cook proper meals now so he is doing well there. Diabetes 2 runs in the males in his family so we want to do what we can to avoid it if possible.
He has perked up the last few days and did a drawing of a butterfly from a get well card and wants more paper so he can draw more and also to make notes re insurance. I brought in a couple of books and his glasses as he is going to try to read, He has white flashes in one eye, but his retina is ok. They will look at it next month if the flashes have not gone. The vision in the other eye (black and with a stitched cut over it) is blurred but improving thankfully.
He tires easily. An hour visit is a bit too much, I think. He needs a lot of naps, I'm holding up. I have to be careful not to set off a CFS/FM flare up. One day at a time. We are so thankful it wasn't worse.
glad - lots of fires and smoke. It's a pain I know.
Good news but long way to recovery. Great that all the tests are good, maybe they can increase his PT gradually?
Hopefully he will eat enough but lots of tasty snacks will do him good. Even if they are not the best for him but in short term they would not do much harm.
Thinking of both of you and hope you update us.
More rain here (I’m an hour from the GTA) while the west burns. I hope a soaking soon douses the fires!
Sending vibes of strength your way.
I am hearing about the fires and they say there are 100s of fires currently in Canada.
I should clarify - he is muscularly strong. Everything checked out well. The leg with the knee replacement is stronger than his other one. I think apart from the shock and trauma effect (or part of it) it is his blood pressure dropping that is the major problem. It went down to 50/30 at one point not long after the accident which caused some alarm, They checked his heart and it is good. His BP drops when he get up so he has to take it slowly.
In PT he is doing better every day. But his headache is worse after PT and he has to lie down and rest. They are now saying he may come home Sunday or Monday if he is willing to use a cane, which he is. He certainly has perked up a lot. He can read some now. The snacks have helped get his gut in better order,
He has a lot of experience with trauma - broke his neck, broke his pelvis etc so he knows how his body reacts and that he has to rest to heal. He doesn't want the tv on so I got him a little radio which he likes.
We've talked about soft food as his jaw will be sore for a while. That's easy,
I sort of crashed yesterday and only visited once and slept a lot. The next few days I will take it easy, visit only once a day and get ready for his return.
I am aware that head trauma is a risk factor for dementia. We will take one thing at a time. I believe he will recover well. He has come back from the knee surgery extremely well and also from the prostate surgery and the current hormone treatment which doesn't seem to be holding him back but may be contributing to the headaches.
Lots of rain recently here which clears the air nicely. and helps douse the wild fires.Alva there are always lots many due to lightening strikes in the forest and we have a lot of forest, But it is worse recently with the increased heat.
We so appreciate your prayers, good thoughts and hugs. I know they help.
Now round 2 starts, I guess. I will be the chauffeur for a while. His mobility with a cane seems pretty good.
nacy - yeah he's like your hub. As he is out in pastures or driving from one to another I can't ready redirect him but just have to plan a few relaxing activities for down time when he is free.
cw - I hear you. God is telling him you slow down!!! I think so too but it's up to him. I can encourage and hope it makes a difference. Prayers along this line would be appreciated. He has hobbies - painting, woodworking - so he always has things to do.
So much for getting ready for his return. Thank goodness for grocery delivery service. I seem to have recovered. I slept a lot and took a few extra supplements and felt good when I woke up. Bless God!
I think he liked the attention at the hospital but he laid around too much. He is going to have a bath so I said "Not too hot!!!" He had installed grab bars in his bathroom tub after the knee surgery which he feels are good for now too. His arms are strong.
I don't see any problems with his memory or concentration or mood. The worse is the headaches which he had already to some degree with the hormone treatment, and being a bit wobbly when he is upright, though that is improving rapidly.
Very thankful he is doing so well.This is the guy who after falling from one story to a lower one in a house under construction breaking his pelvis in 4 places, drove himself to his parents as he knew they would be home, before going into shock. The doctors said he might never walk again and would be on pain pills the rest of his life. In the hospital he used to hide the pills he was given under his mattress. He said all he thought about was riding again and within the year was walking, back up on a horse and taking no pain pills. He's one tough cookie!