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Get well soon Llama!
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Haven't been here in ages. Was just watching a movie about fate. I never used to believe in fate. But I just heard the protagonist in the movie say, "I think fate's behind everything."

I wonder...
Maybe it's true.

Here I Am
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Hi hereiam.
At my age it is so confusing. We had a here i am and an i am here. One of them went off to ER with abdominal pains and was never heard of again, and one left. Which one are you?
I think it is more random chaos myself--life, that is-- though snowflakes and cut cabbages and have some very intricately sculpted patterns. If you watch the life of a single cell it is really quite intricate as well. It's anyone's guess, I think............
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I am thinking of and missing needs help all the time, Nacy. I can't believe she left us this long without telling us she was going away! Makes me very worried for her. Was told she occ. does take a vaca from us without a work. Still, I know she was wearing a heart monitor when she left us. I don't like it.
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I was thinking the same last night while watching the hurricane report.
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Also wondering about Need
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Update: My DD brought me home to DH today! I had a slight delay on discharge when a last minute gut reset ncluding abdominal exray was performed.
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Llama ,

You must be so happy !!
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Way: Thank you. I am.
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Llama, what GREAT news. Please take care and be careful with yourself.
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Llama ((((((hugs))))) So glad you are better and at home!!!
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Thinking good thoughts for you Llama! 🦙️🥝🥝🥝🦙️
Glad you are home and well cared for.
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Llama, Praise The Lord that you are home. May HE continue to heal your body and be with you and DH.
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Golden, Nacy, ITRR, Alva and Send: Thank you very much.
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Don't know where to put this but it is very much on my mind - the house is sold as of last night.

I've already sent the necessary documents to the lawyer. Possession day is Oct 7th. They will take all the furniture that is left in the house which is a great blessing. We were going to drive up to take the plants etc, but I am thinking I will leave the plants and get someone to bring down the last few things which are not much (a few pictures on the walls). I can send the keys I have up the my realtor. Most of them are already in the house.

R had his assessment and they were concerned about his eyes and balance so he needs to see some specialists - eyes, head and neck injuries, maybe more. It's just over 2 months from the accident and his eye issues and dizziness are still there to some extent. He functions very well, has no problems when sitting down, or on the computer unless he stays on it too long, but does have them when standing and walking at times (like down stairs) though not that I notice around the condo or when we are out walking.

Anyhoo - thank goodness the house is sold and I don't have to keep paying those bills and getting people to look after it, The strange thing was that we got a much higher offer yesterday, but it was too late. I had already signed and the buyers met the conditions.

Such a busy time for both of us!!!
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@Golden ,

Glad the house is settled .
Sorry about R’s persistent symptoms .
Make sure he drinks enough . Dehydration can make those symptoms more bothersome .
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
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Golden,
So glad for you.
All went well even if it took some months
So good they take furniture.
Hope R will see specialists soon and improve some or little more every day.
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Golden: Congratulations on the sale of the house. Prayers for R.
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Oh, Golden, so glad on the house. ONE thing off your mind. I know there will still be stuff, but what a relief they also took furniture. Moves are dreadful hard.
I hate balance issue stuff. My brother's was awful and mine is awful as well. The more they try to work with you and assess the slower they make you go and the worse the balance until you feel a feather in the wind. Such an odd brain thing. To be more weight that ever I was at 140 or so, and still feeling lighter as I fly around on the buses as they start and stop. Eye things ADD to it as my right eye is wonky and my brain adjusting right and left is ridiculous to the extent my eye exams are always "Gee, your eyes are so much worse this year" and then a year later "Wow, so much better than last year!" Right! Aging is a nightmare and I've no courage for it.

Happy that the llamalover is back with us. Wishing need would show her face because I can't relax unless she does.

And on we go.
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Because we've constantly been handed this -

"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas)
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Hi, all! Hope everyone's well or at least muddling through. I'm back in school to tackle the 2nd half of my MS, and I have a feeling I'll be around the forum a little more. An uptick in stress always makes me appreciate this supportive site. Plus, AC gives me some means to share and discuss my thoughts -- however worthwhile or worthless they may be 😄-- about behavioral gerontology. My program often concentrates around best practices with ASD populations but I find a way to relate almost all of it to elders experiencing cognitive decline and their unique needs.

Golden, congrats on selling the house. That's a big step. I hope the specialists have some insight into what's causing R's dizziness.

Nacy, dying is the ultimate loss of control... if you think about it like that... makes some sense to me, somehow.

Llama, so glad you're home. (((hugs)))
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Anxiety
No matter how prepared we are. It’s still a shock.
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Alva: Thank you.
Ali: Thank you, also.
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Nacy,
You didn’t sound insensitive. I just happen to think people may know intellectually that death is near but emotionally, it is still a surprise, a shock, not expected. Soon perhaps but not today.
My DH aunt will be 98 in a few weeks. She could live a long long time or die tonight. If she passed tonight I will be shocked. She doesn’t have the type of health issues that many die from without wasting away. So she could live a long time. But my goodness 98. How could I be surprised. I have to laugh at myself. As odd as it might seem to say, I’m not ready.

I remember watching my parents when they received news of a death. A startled reaction is what comes to mind.

I think we are in denial about a lot of things. Like your friend who smoked. My SIL smokes. She has so many health problems and she still smokes. It’s like she must think she is exempt. Yet we do hear of people who get a diagnosis of a serious illness and they stop that day!

We know intellectually that we will die, sometimes we wish we would die such as in severe pain or misery but mostly I think it is, Nay, not today. after all if you woke up everyday for 90 yrs you would probably expect to wake up tomorrow too. And if not, if they expected to die any minute, then somebody on aging care would be saying, my mom is so annoying, she wakes up everyday and wonders why she is still here. 🤔🙄🤭
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Well, bad news keeps rolling in. My SIL broke several bones including ribs trying to train for a marathon. She is in her 50s, but has brittle bones from Addison’s disease. My brother retired but has to work a state job t get insurance (SIL works for a place that is three employees). My mom is rushing there to help. I hope my SIL does not injure herself permanently. My brother works full time, just got hired before I did.
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Stop getting involved in everyone's trauma, DoggieMom. Concentrate on your own anxiety illness, on your own job, and on getting your own home. You aren't there to cure the world and don't have the wherewithal. I am sorry for all of this, but the larger the family the more issues there will be because we ALL have SOMETHING. Good to hear from you.
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Oh I’m not. I can’t control what she does. I guess I found out my mom likes the being needed.
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nacy - sorry about your uncle. I think we are never really prepared. I see you have figured it out - " It's a manipulative control tactic of moms. Something just felt off about it all." Gotcha!

doggiemom - while I am sorry about your family's problems, I'm glad your mom is going. From what you said earlier, having her with you wasn't working that well. As we all get older, health problems crop up more and more. That's life. Try to focus on the good stuff in your life and build on that.
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The secrets , like children .

My 87 yo MIL , very frail , kept her recent fender bender from us until she found out my BIL had told my DH .

We hadn’t heard from her for a while , just like when a kid is too quiet and you go searching for them in the house to see what they are up to .

So DH called . She volunteered telling DH about her accident , DH just listened , didn’t say anything and she just kept digging the hole deeper . She had a Stop sign , ( so she did not have right of way ) but says it wasn’t her fault because the other guy “ must have been flying “ . Then she proceeded to say if she thought she couldn’t drive she would stop , however she “ thinks she can still drive “.
She has other options , she lives in a very active condo where younger retirees drive the older ones for a fee . We are supposed to see her Saturday to talk to her but now I’m waiting to hear about funeral plans for my friend .

One of my best friends 66 yo died last night of cancer . She did not get to have a nice retirement like my MIL did .
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Just got a call from the lawyer's office - a bright young thing who reeled off her spiel at high speed so I had to slow her down at various points to understand what she was saying. I choose to meet by Zoom on my laptop to sign documents for the house sale rather than driving into town. Love these options!

However, I am left with a bad taste in my mouth about the sale and need to vent. After an unacceptable low ball offer, the buyer came up to a low reasonable amount, then asked for a fair amount off due to the property report.

Well, that was something else - basically dishonest. Never seen anything like it. There were issues where there had never been issues in the house before - pages and pages of them. The most ridiculous being that there wasn't a door closer on the door between the house and the garage and that someone qualified should be hired to install a door closer. The most dishonest being that one of the furnaces and the air conditioning weren't working. My realtor went to the house that evening and found they were working fine. It went on and on...Had it been reasonable I would have met them half way.

So I decided not to grace this with an answer. My realtor had received a call that day from a prospective buyer who definitely wanted it and offered a much better price. So I stayed firm and at the very last minute the original prospective buyers decided to go with it. It would have been nice to get more for the house, but it's sold which is the main thing and they will take the contents which helps us a lot.

Having someone willing to pay a better price has made me feel better about the whole thing, after that disaster of a property report. It was obviously designed to downgrade the property so I would take $$$$ off. That's not the purpose of a property report!

It's all coming to an end, thank goodness. I'll be so glad when it is completely over.

Also on my mind today, R went in for a prostate follow up and his PSA numbers are well down. His dr decided on another 6 months of hormone therapy and then we will see in March whether to continue with it. That's good news. Only better would be that the PSA is at zero and that's what we are praying for for March. He has managed the side effects well and is getting his energy back after that and the concussion. However, I will say at times he looks as if he has aged some - not surprising. But he is a survivor and on his good days he looks his usual self. 😊
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