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Cwillie and Nacy: Before a guy destroyed my auto on 7/30, I enjoyed going to the local food pantries daily. Good luck.
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cwillie, I’ve been retired for 20 years. I can honestly say I haven’t been bored for a minute. I took classes through the community college, parks and rec., the local hospital (interior design, landscape design, yoga). I took garden tours; volunteered at the library; made friends and walked, hiked, cooked, ate and drank wine and coffee with them; laughed and cried and sat in hospitals with them. I cleaned (and cleaned and cleaned); gardened, tried photography, acrylic painting, collage, pine needle baskets, bee’s wax candles, hypertufa, wrapped wire jewelry; loved on my grand daughter; painted dozens of walls; moved hundreds of boulders; studied bees and birds and banana slugs. Moved and made a bunch of new friends!
But as I said, I’ve been at it for 20 years and have had a lot of practice. I’d say start slow. Maybe sign up for a class in something you’re interested in. The most important components of my retirement (besides DH and our families) have been my dear and diverse girlfriends. Many of them are neighbors and women I’ve met in the classes I’ve taken. Sharing interests has led to sharing lives.
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Cwillie, I have your ‘lonely’ problem after ‘retiring’ to a completely new small city 1500 kms away, where I knew no-one and hadn’t much in common with the people in DH’s car club. If going out to ‘make friends’ involves breaking into groups of people who have known each other for years, it doesn’t work very well.

I’m finding that joining two seniors classes has been particularly good, one exercise and the other aqua-aerobics. It helps if the person running the class knows and accepts that part of ‘good for you’ is the social stuff, because seniors can get very isolated – like you when a partner dies. Volunteering can be good, as long as you aren't sitting at a counter by yourself. At a regular weekly class you get to know the other people with no pressure or expectations, and can gradually have more to talk about, perhaps a coffee afterwards. Then if you run into them shopping, or at the library, you can stop and chat for a few minutes. It’s like an old shampoo ad, “It WON’T happen overnight, but it WILL happen”.
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Peasuep, well done for organising such a full life, and it’s good that you feel so happy about it. For many reasons, some of us started later and haven’t done quite so well. I hope that you manage to spare a smile and a word for some of us ‘strays’.
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Margaret, I’d have you over for coffee today if wasn't already yesterday there…..or tomorrow, I never get that right.
: )
Anyway, I know I’ve been supremely lucky to have landed in the right places at the right times with the right opportunities after having been somewhat of a stray myself.
I was just throwing out things I have found engaging over the years in case any would spark cw’s interest.
I also love to be alone but I’m pretty sure I’m going to get more of that than I want before too long.
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Thanks Peasuep, you are yesterday for me, I am tomorrow for you. As I write, it's 5.30 pm on my Monday night. Working out timing is even more of a trial just now, as last weekend South Australia (ie our farm) and the eastern states adopted daylight saving for our summer coming up, while we didn't in the Northern Territory, and the eastern states (Queensland, New South Wales, Victoria and Tasmania) are always half an hour different from South Australia anyway. It could confuse a stupid person!

The time around the world finally made sense to me on the night of the Millenium. January 1st 2000 started more or less in New Zealand, then us in Oz, then all of Asia, then Europe, and more or less finished in the USA. Those fireworks remain a good memory to make sense of it all.

Now I'll have a genuine glass of red wine, but I appreciate your imaginary coffee!
Yours, Margaret
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Small town living has it's perks but opportunities for classes or volunteering aren't among them. I'd be willing to volunteer in a way I could be a little cog in the organization but the reality is organizations have so few members the work becomes much more than I am willing/able to give. Or yeah, sitting at a counter/desk alone as Margaret mentioned.
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I can tell you right now that I love the idea of the lizard tattoo for ANY reason, and that it is to remember left from right is delightful. I had so much trouble with that one as a kid. Anything spatial or mathmatics always drove me insane.

To all who are bored, I think some of us have more restless minds? I feel I have never caught up with all I have to do, tho some of that is taking on stuff such as fostering a dog. Otherwise, at 82 it is the garden, walking, shopping, cooking, the library, reading, an episode of Survivor, podcast by the bedside, and falling asleep like a baby. Oh, yeah, AC as well. That and FB good for a couple of hours in the a.m.

While I adore the "fantasy" of a coffee klatch I am not having one. I do the internet so I don't have to deal with real people! I can turn y'all off (and I am sure I DO) anytime I want. And you are easily rid of ME.
I am not reclusive in that I don't go "out" as I do the museums and such. I am reclusive in that I am a loner. It's just me and my busy brain and it is often too busy to fit people in. Next life I come back as "social". For now, the computer takes care of those needs very well.
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Got it, cwillie. Do you have neighbors? A walking buddy maybe? Solitary pursuits are great but a girlfriend in the neighborhood is priceless. I had to drive 15 minutes to get to my #1 walking buddy but that time was worth it. And yes, organizations have a way of swallowing you before you know it. Book club maybe?

Margaret, I have family in Sydney. I don’t dare call them - I fear I am that stupid person you speak of!

Nacy, Fun! Well, OW first, and then fun. What made you choose a lizard? I’m not a tattoo person but my DD has 2 and they are beautifully done. I am not dyslexic but I always used my wedding ring to remind me…first marriage anyway. 2nd marriage I don’t wear one.

Alva, math makes me cry. I wonder if it’s the way they teach (or taught) it in the Bay Area. I grew up in Redwood City.
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Question:
Has anyone seen SP around? I am missing her or she isn't around? Today a bunch of old February and April messages that I had already erased started to appear in my private message mailbox; they were from when her sister was so ill. Reminded me I haven't seen her of late and so went to leave private message and her messaging is off.
Thanks all--hoping someone knows her and communicates off grid.
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Cwillie,
Always late to the discussions.
" blogs telling you to travel! volunteer! or the best one - find your passion! (oh please 🙄)."

I read your post in a hurry.
Thought it said:

"find your passport".

That's it for today, no time for social media.

Hello to all!
Later.....
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Before I forget again, Nacy, your uncle's list is very impressive!!! A good role model. Wow he did a lot between 60 and 80!!! My dd has several tattoos. She likes dragonflies. Whatever turns your crank. Lizards and colourful -at least the little ones I have see when on holiday.

cw - It sounds like you aren't enjoying anything you are doing now. Is there a little bit of depression that 5HT or St John's Wort would help? Or, heaven forbid, something stronger? No shame in that. I think a routine is good, but life is not good if you don't enjoy at least part of it.

Psue - anyone who can add  "hypertufa" to a list (I had to look it up) must have an interesting life. You are a project person I see and have accomplished much. I'm sorry your hub got sick and you are now having to deal with a large property on your own. That sucks. Your property sounds awesome but maybe will become a bit too much for one person. Would you want to share more about your hub? You'll get support here. I saw you mentioned your mother in one post. Is she still alive? Mine lived to 106. I was 81 when she died.

It took me 6 years to adjust to retirement. I knew the list, as we all do, but it didn't appeal either, I know some of the suggestions could be helpful.

Send, I waited for "my passion" to strike and it didn't. lol

I simply stayed home in my household routine and appreciated not having to get up and brush snow off the car at 7:15 am when it was 35 below. I enjoyed my cup of coffee unpressured, as I still do. I liked being able to sit by my self and think and still do. I like the sound of silence. In fact I love it.

Margaret, you have just had a big move. I'm glad your senior's classes are working. I like the ad you quoted - that's me and deep housecleaning! It'll happen sometime! lol

Like Alva, I have a busy brain. It keeps me good company. I'm an introvert so I don't need much people contact. Technology does it for me too. I have things I want to do - growing more grass for my kitty, sorting apple seeds, germinating them, repotting the catalpa seedlings, reading more, sorting my closet, and so on. Mundane tasks but I enjoying doing some of them and the others I just like having them done. I could join the Friday afternoon get together in this building but "haven't had time" lol. The morning one at 9:30 is way too early for me.

R and I will celebrate a year together here tomorrow. It has been a good thing.
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Golden: Congratulations on your and R's year!
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Nacy - it will be a rainbow lizard!

Thank you, Llama.

Eva - thinking of you and your dh on this Thanksgiving Day. Hoping things are better ((((hugs))))

Happy Thanksgiving to all Canadians here.🍁 🦃 🍁

We did the turkey thing in a turkey roaster. It was a bit of a fiasco but turned out OK in the end.
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Answering AlvaDeer, sp got banned last month.
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Thanks, PS. Imagine that was one of those 7 day things I am always trying to skate around? I am sure she will be back to us, then. She likely needs a vacation from it all.
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Golden, I don’t know the back story of your move but moving is absolutely the pits and if you are happy and settled after only one year, I commend you. Do you think your kitty helped? We have always had cats but our last one died (at 21 yrs. old) before we moved and I’m hesitant to get another since it will be one more responsibility for me.

Margaret, I feel for you. it has taken me 2+ years to get even close to comfortable here after our big relocation. I’ve talked about how important my friends have been to me and I had to leave them and my wonderful home behind. It takes a lot of time to work through that. I’m sending you a thick slice of pumpkin bread and some French roast with cream.
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Golden, yes, mom is 90 and we are now living minutes from her after 20+ years of living hours and a mountain range away. 106 is amazing! I hope those years were good ones for your mom. No matter how long they live it’s still got to be hard to let our moms go.

Yes, this property is going to be too much for me eventually. If we had decided to move one year later I doubt we would have chosen it despite its beauty and proximity to family. However, the wonderful things so outweigh the bad, and I have a ridiculous drive to create something here before I’m too old. Plus, I’m drawn to funky, charming houses like a fly to a cadaver!

I stumbled on this forum a few months ago with questions about my DH and his cognitive decline (which really started to rear its ugly head during our move). I got such helpful answers from so many wise and wonderful people! I feel blessed and supported here and very, very thankful!
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Psue - I agree. Moving is the pits!!! It started in 2016 with me (and the rest of the city) being evacuated due to an out of control forest fire in Fort Mc where I lived for 40 yrs. I found the last hotel room in this small town outside of Edmonton which was near where sig other R was working at that time. We were well looked after and I came to like the community so we decided when I sold up and moved down we would settle here. We also liked this condo complex and after several tries over the next few years, bought the unit we are in now. R moved in about 3 years ago, and of course there was covid so I did not make my usual visits to the area for a couple of years, and selling houses was "different" but I had become familiar with the town. Moving forward we got the house ready for sale and I and the cat moved out Oct 15 last year. My oldest son and g/f were already in the process of moving to Edmonton (30 min drive away), two grandkids were there, and my dd and sil were making plans to move to E'ton too. I have one son and sil still living in Fort Mc.

An aside, mother passed in 2018 age 106 and there was no way I (POA) was moving here until she did. She had Borderline Personality Disorder and I needed to keep my distance. Being BPD no years were good though she had excellent health into her later 90s. It took more than a year to get the estate settled which was another thing that slowed me down.

I had colleagues from where I worked in Fort Mc but not many friends there any more. At my age they move, pass or get dementia. As I tell my kids "Most people my age are dead", if you get my drift.

My ideas in moving here were 1) the winters are not as long nor cold, 2) there are better health resources here - a bit of a laugh. It has been harder getting a family dr here than in Ft Mc, but the specialists are here, not that I need them yet 3) my offspring are gathering in this area - that's a bit of a laugh too as the ones here don't want to take on POA etc. they just want me to visit them and go out for meals 4) R has roots here 5) it's cheaper living 6) I have the lake lot which will be fun developing I think 7) I have lived in Edmonton for years long time ago so I still am somewhat familiar with it and probably more - like no forest fires.

I hear you mourning the loss of your friends which is so understandable. As I said, most of mine have gone one way or another over the years. In fact I had another post in mind which is about making new friends as you get older. It's happening.

I'm sure the kitty has helped She is part Maine Coon and very talkative but small. She's a good companion, but pets do take work.

Anyway that covers it I think. My situation seems very different to yours. I was more than ready to leave the house and the city to come here and despite the surgeries and injuries that R has had, he is still active and helpful. I am very thankful.
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Psue - I guess we cross posted. it was not hard to let my mum go. it was a relief. Having a BPD mother is another experience.

You have plans that you want to achieve on that property. Go for it!!! It sounds amazing from what you have described and apparently you have the talent and ability to do what you want to there. Awesome!!!

I'm sorry that dementia has raised it's ugly head in your life It is such a thief!!! I expect you are mourning the losses it brings as well as losing your g/fs by moving. (((((hugs))))

Glad you have joined us. I have been here over 10 years and have received much very valued support.
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Golden, thank you for sharing a little of your background. I am a curious person by nature. When I see wisdom in another I love to know how it got there. Makes me think maybe there is hope for me!

As others here have gently reminded me I have been exceptionally lucky in my life so far, even though sometimes in the middle of it it may not always seem like it. I have been blessed with a great mom but there are many people who have not.

This dementia thing? Not so lucky there I admit. But maybe it’s my husband’s turn to be the lucky one in that he has a wife who is still sharp enough to advocate for him and keep him safe.

10 years on the forum! Thanks for sticking around for little ole me! Hahahahahah!
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Sounds to me like hypertufa would be very interesting hobby.
Thank you for support and warm words. Means a lot.
Hubby will be released tomorrow. What happened remains a mystery.
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Golden: You're welcome.
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Evamar, hypertufa is also therapeutic- mud pies for adults!
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It's time once again for the debates about doing away with changing the clocks to ramp up - I don't get it, all my life it was just something we did and I can't remember ever feeling it was more than a minor adjustment, yes even when the kids were small.
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I vote for a compromise , move the clock a half hour once and leave it alone all year long from here on out .
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All our nearby towns have moved their Christmas parades to the evening because the lights are popular, being small towns I'm sure there are several tractors too🤪. I can't be bothered because I'm not trucking out at suppertime, in the cold, to watch a parade - I used to go to the daytime ones though.
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Psue - you're welcome, Glad to be of help. Hope you and hub are doing OK. He is fortunate to have you. Life dumps on us sometimes. Haven't seen you here for a while. I know my posting is very sporadic. Some days I am challenged! Hypertufa makes me think of the days we, as kids, sat in shallow parts the Ottawa river scooping out hands full of clay and making figures with them. it was fun.

Eva - hope you and hub are doing alright since he got back home,

nacy - your sis is caught in denial. Mine was too. When I mentioned the BPD diagnosis, sis's response was . "Oh, no. Mother just has a few little emotional problems". While, in fact, mother had a serious mental illness and had developed dementia. It's so much easier for them if they can pretend that mom is not sick,

way - I really like your compromise! One half hour - done and dusted!

cw, nacy - the parades sound fun and I loved them as a child but for years now - uh-uh and especially in the evening. I don't like cold feet.

A little snow around these days and temps below freezing at night. The geese have flown - south I presume. Good idea!!!

Saw a saying recently - "I can't wait to start complaining about how cold is!" Works for me lol.

I
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I've just been looking at enclosed mobility scooters, these things are basically tiny cars complete with headlights and heaters. As far as I can tell the same laws that apply to open scooters apply to them so you can drive them on the sidewalk and you don't need insurance or a licence - I don't need one but they are so cool I WANT one anyway 🤣
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