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Ah, I see. I honestly don’t know what I would do in your situation either. If you know your DIL’s mother or a sibling it might be appropriate to mention you’re concerned about her health but that could also be construed as meddling. This is a hard one and may only get more difficult the longer it continues. I’m sorry you’re in this predicament.
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Not really to her it’s all helping me. My brother is super OCD and so is she. Anything that falls below their level of clean is less a slob. Being told you “stink” and having to clean a chair hurts. I have never repaid my family for helping me move even though I have offered money. At this point, I think my dogs deserve better to get away from the stress. All I’ll hear is how grateful I should be I have my mother alive.
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That’s just awful. I don’t blame you for wanting to get as far away as you can. Think how much free time she’ll have when she doesn’t have to spend it cleaning up after you….good grief. I’m sorry for you “and your little dog, too!”
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On my mind…

🥰 Meeting someone accidentally,
then having them become a huge part of your life.
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i’ll be taking a break from the website. i’ll return. huggggg.

🌼🌼🌸🌸🌼🌼
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BOJ: Thanks for letting us know so we don’t worry.
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I had a long talk with my mother and she agreed that moving will be good for us. She can be closer to her sister, but I'm a senior living apartment (I think she's not cut out for living with someone else). My aunt has dogs, so she says she can like dogsit without ownership. I realized I'm more independent at 38 than 16 years ago. I think my mom would benefit from senior groups so she could help others by baking or having book groups.
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DoggieMom, that is so great for both you and your mom! Congratulations! Time to go enjoy a more carefree life!
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DoggieMom, You are not still now living with mom? Are you? I hope not, because you need at 38 to be more independent, and not so enmeshed with her. Her happiness isn't your problem. You have plenty of your own to concern you. Like your mom, I tend toward OCD (after N.'s recent bout in hospital I was home literally lining up things on his dresser, comb, keys, wallet in STRAIGHT LINES, so I can sympathize with your mom if you and doggies are in her home. I would NOT be kind! Just saying, that's a fact. My home, my rules. And I think you shouldn't have to live by her rules, so out you go. Where SHE GOES is up to her. You have your seperate lives and meet and enjoy where you can.

Speaking of meet and enjoy, I am heading to our DeYoung Museum next week to meet a friend and see the Lempicki exhibit. Will be the first time I have been there since I managed to knock down a perfectly nice doctor, aged 85. Or we knocked into one another and he was the one to go down. A bit nervous. Will be watching where I am going this time!

I am assuming that NO ONE here has heard from Need. I do not believe she would voluntarily leave us this long with no one here having an explanation; she was too devoted to this site. It makes me really sad not to know anything about this. Now RealyReal is off grid, too? But I think she does have a busy life other than us.

Bundle, you will be missed! I see you out there making another collection of one-liners for us, or hoping we will forget the others you did before. For me, that's a given, that forgetfulness thing.
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It's not my mom's home. I am on the lease and pay the rent and bills. She is on there as a resident but the main duty falls on me. She agreed to move in with me while I get settled. I do not want to kick her out
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Sister spent the last two days here doing her annual online workplace training - all I can say is I'm glad WHMIS wasn't a mandatory thing when I was working 😖
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Doggiemom
If you intend now to live with an OCD mom who doesn't much care for your dogs for the duration, the honestly there isn't much left to say to my mind. You are out of the frying pan now, and into the fire. I can only wish you good luck. But this is CHOICE on your part. That kind of takes away any rights to talk a whole lot about how unpleasant it is. This truly is your choice. Given that, take it on happily and whole-heartedly. Refrain from talking about how bad it is, because that, if you know what I mean, only makes the hard times worse and makes them more set in stone, a litany you repeat for no good reason. Just accept it is difficult to live with ANYONE but this is who you wish to live with, and make it the best you can.
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My sister is leaving rehab tomorrow to move into a board and care home . Hoping she does not demand to go back home . I feel so bad for my nephew.

Meanwhile mother in law fell outside her house again . At this point she should give the EMTs a Christmas bonus .
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Rough week, Way. Sorry.
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Thanks Peasuep,

I have to work, otherwise I would have helped my nephew with the move , but luckily a friend is available . But I wish I could be there to back him up with my sister . I drove out this past weekend and told her to treat her son better ( than she has been ).

MIL is a big problem . 😩😩
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nacy - I started embroidering a tablecloth - never did finish it.

way - I'm so sorry about your sis. Sounds like nephew is handling it well. Mil is gong to do what she wants to do, safe or otherwise. It's a waiting game,sn't it? I am so thankful my years of mother care are over.

doggiemom - you know what your mother is like You know living with her is going to be stressful. Isn't it time to look after yourself, rather than living in strife all the time?
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Nacy, you cracked me up……taking a walk with your scarf! I’m picturing it! Did you have to keep it from chasing passing cars? (I’m spending too much time reading children’s books!)

Anyway, who cares about matching? Especially when it comes to outerwear. Yay for finishing the scarf and sparking your creativity - it’s the perfect time of year for that. DD is the knitter and crocheter in our family, I did a couple baby sweaters and an ‘af-uh-gan’ (as my DGM used to call them) but was never very good at either.
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cw -WHMIS was a pain in the neck even when I was working 15 years ago.

Definitely making something and being able to use it feels very good.
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I love decorating for Christmas, but I LOVE having it all packed away and out of my face on Dec. 26 even more!
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I do very little decorating these days, but I like my little fake inside tree and a few things around. Some decorate their front door area and I will again. It's nice to see what others do. I also have an artificial tree (not fir) on the balcony with some lights on it. The fireplace could use a garland but you gotta stop somewhere...

Looks like we are going to Calgary for Christmas for a few days. I am inviting my the kids and grandkids to Sunday brunch the weekend before Christmas at the revolving restaurant in E'ton. It's a good time for us all to get together. Doubt my son and dil from Fort Mc will make it but the others will.

nacy - enjoy all the "treasures"

Psue - you dismantle it all on the 26th??? 🎄 Wow, I'm impressed!!!

Colour me well retired. R wanted to set up a spread sheet for some reason and I faked it. It wasn't complicated but it'd been years and many updated versions since I used Excel. As I worked on it things were coming back, so maybe next time.
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Today begins the start of me asking dH to get the decorations out of the shed-to celebrate Christmas. Done hearing about the date of the celebration is wrong; the wise men did not arrive right after the birth, having a tree or wreath is a pagan practice, etc.
NOT.

Trying something different maybe. To avoid all the nagging, begging, heartache,
shouldn't I just pay to have decorations?

Waking up Thanksgiving morning, was met with Mr. Grouchy Bear, a reoccurring attitude during the holidays. Silent treatment. Increasing and changing as he gets older. Used to be, that a sickness occurred in Nov. and Dec., having photos of him on the couch, ill. At least now, he does not get ill, and the early oregano oil treatment (drop on hands, breathe it in) has worked.

Maybe I will buy only what I can put up, and decorate my own personal space.
Not wanting to force any joy at Christmas on anyone.

I am grateful for my husband, very good at many things throughout the year.
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I've been searching the price of cars as I was told mine is going to need some costly repairs very soon, and in my experience once that starts it becomes a never ending money pit. Ah well, I was hoping to get another year or two out of it. If I spend $30K and it lasts as well as this one did that's only $2K/year I guess. Wish I could opt out of cars altogether
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Golden, not impressive, compulsive! In a house this small anything extra starts to poke me in the eye after awhile.
Your Christmas plans sound so nice. I had lunch in the Seattle Space Needle once when I was a little girl, it was enthralling.
Christmas trees on balconies make me so happy!

Send, sorry for the bah humbug at your place. You must have to work twice as hard just to hold on to your own joy.

Nacy, I keep DH out of it as much as I can too. He’s usually not grumpy about it all but he has a talent for getting in the way.
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Nacy, no car help for me anymore. I have to say I really took it for granted all the years DH did it. Now the mice are moving in and doing all kinds of damage (not to mention the smell) and I can’t keep up with the traps and the peppermint oil spray, etc.

cwillie, if you come across a mouse proof car in your shopping, let me know!
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Nope. They like going for rides. Once I was picking up groceries and the guy came out of the big doors pulling the cart, screamed like a girl and ran back inside! Apparently a hitch hiking mouse jumped out of my wheel well and ran across his foot.
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send - good luck with getting the decorations!!! I have to rely on R too as he has put them away in our storage locker and that's his territory. He likes decorations so I don't think it will be a problem.

cw - good luck with the car. I agree there comes a point. My last one was a 2 yr old demo which is what I like to get. It's 10 years old now and still driving like a dream.

nacy - early in our relatioship R once tried to tell me how to clean the glass surface of my stove. I think that was the last time he tried to tell me how to do anything in my kitchen. I don't think I said much. It would have been the tone and the look. He's not a micromanager by nature - rather the opposite.

Psue - We used a plug in thingy which is supposed to work for rodents, but we needed to keep birds from pecking at the front of the house - in between cats. It worked on sound waves I think. Got it on Amazon. It's great when your man is good at repairs. I am very grateful for R's various skills.

Over the years, the revolving restaurant has been a place we go for special events. The view is awesome and the buffet is great. Calgary will be a nice trip for a few days. R will spend lots of time with his youngest grandsons. The hotel has a terrific water slide feature. I will stay quiet which is what I need. Rambunctious boys, for any length of time, are a bit much for me.
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Going over in my mind about some people near me who have had a rough year . My recently widowed neighbor , the elderly couple neighbors on the other side , my friend battling cancer , my nephew who’s a caregiver for my sister .

I’d rather cook and drop off a meal for them than sit and write Christmas cards to other people who I know are doing well and the card will be looked at for 5 seconds and thrown out . 🤔🤔🤔
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@Way,
my year started with my new cancer and ended with N.'s stroke.
I would say it has been the year from Hades, but looked at another way we are still standing if a bit more wobbly-ish. So, I'm very grateful for fabulous (this atheist wants to say "miraculous") care throughout both "incidents."

My daughter is battling massive chronic pain having found out that her back/hip pain comes not from her bulging back disc but from the fact that several knock-down drag-outs from the out-of-control "special needs" little ones she monitors in school, that occurred several years, ago resulted in torn tendons and two muscles actually torn from hip bone anchor and left a few years to flap in the wind.
FINALLY someone thought "better MRI the hip, too" and there it was. Said the Doc "What happened? You fell off the horse and then the horse fell ON you?".
She's working her way through it with PT, with with a new procedure come January (anyone have "tenex"?), but it is constant pain night and day and she is so far avoiding the "pain clinic" (yeah, talking the good drugs or the bad drugs) by every means possible. Nothing so depressing as chronic pain and at 63 come Feb. she still has to try to put in a few more years on SS. Add that she's had two women friends newly diagnosed with breast cancer and "dealing".

Seems to me this year was so heavy on medical for everyone I know. I lost a neighbor next door. I keep expecting the Grim Reaper at the door instead of Amazon these days. So far it's been Amazon. Knock on wood (door).

I hope all take care. I am looking forward to turning the page on this year, myself.
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The decorations are up! I was so surprised.
I said nothing after my first request, gave up.

Dh came through! It's a start, and may be finished at any time.
I can only hope. Or not, does it really matter?

Do the lights stay on overnight? Ours do.
This is a year of new behaviors (for both of us.)

Walking on eggshells, not sleeping at night.
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Way that's a lovely idea and in keeping with the spirit of Christmas. I gave up writing cards years ago, and started sending e-cards. I have given that up too.

Alva -you and yours have had quite a year. So sorry about your dd and that dreadful pain. It wears one down. I don't think the grim reaper is coming your way anytime soon.

Nacy they sound like a necessity for you. So glad your back pain is less.

send - awesome! But not the walking on eggshells. Can you let that go?

First Christmas miracle here. R has spontaneously cleaned out the floor of the front hall closet. (I could hardly get a boot in there when I came.) It's looking organized and much more user friendly. I am very grateful . He says next thing today he will get the Christmas stuff up from the storage locker. Looking good.
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