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It says on the person specification for a job I've semi applied for that you need "a degree of personal resilience."

I'm not feeling very resilient this evening. It's been - I don't know how long - weeks, months of battering-with-highlights and I'm terribly tired.

I have just restored my email service, all by myself.
I started this project over twelve hours ago.
The IT support man had emailed me the instructions.
We finally have the Christmas rota after months of in-house negotiation [read: squabbling].
I am working early shifts on Christmas Day, Boxing Day and the Bank Holiday.
The Service Manager forwarded me a sweet email from a client of three weeks ago saying that she had been really anxious about accepting support but she'd hardly noticed I was there and could she book me.
My line manager, who was also on the list of recipients, did not forward me this email. I am coming to believe that she thinks praise is bad for morale.
Daughter 2 sent me the job advertisement and is now looking for housing advertisements in the same county. Somewhat prematurely.
I have learned to use MS Teams, thanks to Son.
I tried to look like I knew what I was doing during the virtual interview for the job.
They didn't look like they knew what they were doing.
I have been offered the job.
The employer has graded the offer at a level or two down from where I've worked my behind off to get to. I can't accept it.
I emailed the HR lady to ask her advice.
Automated reply - she's out 'til Monday.
Then my email crashed and I've lost the email I sent her.
My line manager ripped my ears off. Again.
Daughter 1 talked me down from the roof.
Line Manager sent me a message without explanation saying "you're a great support worker!"
I think she must have had the wrong recipient.

I have no idea what I'm doing. Just keep faking, I guess. Is it any comfort that I suspect nobody else knows what they're doing either?

I asked a client yesterday how long she had lived in her 15th century working farmhouse (with its 15th century heating system, pretty much). Eighty years. I do not think she will see the advantage of a nice cosy retirement apartment, somehow. She is not supposed to be mobilising independently, but somebody got the butter and marmalade out of the fridge and I don't think it was the dog...🤔
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"I have no idea what I'm doing. Just keep faking, I guess. Is it any comfort that I suspect nobody else knows what they're doing either?"

I think that's a great summary of life CM 😉😂
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ALva,
Yes, my mother does have a Advanced Directive and it does state that she does not want CPR, feeding tube, ventilation, in fact, it states they are to do nothing to save or extend her life. I have left her alone about the palliative care. It is not worth fighting over, nor is it worth the backlashes that she will do to me. It is her life and her decision. Thank you Alva for all your help and for understanding.


NHWM,
I have a beautiful fur coat, but it is not real. My dad bought it for my mother and she gave it to me after my dad passed away. I think real fur belongs to the animals wearing them. I will say it does look real. I can not imaging killing an animal just for their fur. I had a lady tell me once "if we were meant to wear fur God would had made us with fur!" LOL
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Alva,

It is wonderful that furs went out of fashion due to public pressure and exposure.

Shell, yes people can wear a faux fur.

Our parents took us to the circus for entertainment because they weren’t aware of the animal abuse.

Same can be said for whales and dolphins held in captivity, amusement parks are now being exposed.

Some countries have banned these practices. Putting a whale or dolphin in a swimming pool is awful!
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CM,

Get some rest! Sounds exhausting.
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Oh.

I have not restored my email service.

Crunch.
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What do I do with my grandmother's fur coat?

I feel guilty getting rid of it, but animals died to make that coat and I don't think I could wear it.

My mother has a fur cape and I suppose I could wear that at historical reenactments (Colonial era) because at least it is almost historically accurate. I'm feeling uncomfortable about it, though.
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I would feel guilty keeping the coat.

I didn’t accept the fur that was left to me.

Grossed me out, knowing that animals were abused.

Donate to Born Free USA. They use them for orphaned animals to snuggle in to keep warm.
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Eh I have my grandmothers mink cape that my grandfather gifted to her for their anniversary one year. I wouldn’t buy real fur today but the cape came from minks that died 70 years ago and I really don’t think anyone even wears mink? I was only blessed to have 7 years with my grandma and don’t really have anything of hers beside the cape so it has sentimental value. Maybe I will get rid of it years from now but for now, I will keep it.
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If it's any consolation, I too have a fur coat that's probably no good anymore b/c it offended me so much I just put it out in the garage and out of site.

It was a present to my sister from a male friend, and she refused to wear it for the same reasons as others have stated:  animals were killed to create that coat.   I wouldn't wear it for the same reason.

Initially I planned to donate it, but got some advice (so long ago I don't remember from who) that it should be cleaned before being donated.  Spending even a penny on that coat repulsed me, so I just put it away.    I did get an estimate and it was well over what I would pay - something like over $25, and that was well over a decade ago.  

It might actually be a home for the mice that somehow get into the garage.
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I am glad people's attitude regarding fur has changed from a few generations ago. I loathe seeing animals suffering. I can not watch the ASCPA commercial where they show the poor dog shaking and freezing in the cold. I can't stand watching it. It hurts seeing it. Every time it's on, I switch to another station.

For our grandparents and generations before them, they didn't think much about animal suffering. And then there were people who used fur for survival. Take the Eskimo for instance, without fur, they'd freeze to death. Thanks to modern technology, we create synthetic materials that can keep people warm. I wouldn't judge people from generations ago by today's standard, however. Who knows, a few generations from now, future people will look back at us and say we were barbaric for eating meat.
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Polarbear,
I can't watch those ASCPA commercials either. I get teary-eyed. They are so heartbreaking!

I have my mother's fake fur coat, which I will probably never wear because people might think it is real and I wouldn't want anyone to think that I am ok with killing an animal for their fur because I am not! We have to love our fuzzy furry friends.
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Polar,

I can’t watch those commercials. They are heartbreaking.

We can eat a healthy plant based diet. I could do a vegetarian diet. I don’t eat meat everyday.

I don’t think I could be vegan though. That’s a huge jump, no byproducts at all. I eat dairy and cheese.
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Those ASPCA commercials get me, too and make me want to rescue all of the animals. They're well done, especially when they use the handsome actor, Eric McCormack.

65 years ago, I had won a mink boa and gave it to an antique store.
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These animal commercials don’t work.

They are based on guilt. Who responds to that?

A better thing to do would be to show the animals after they are adopted and have a loving home.

Another commercial that does this is the life alert commercials where the old people fell down. Geeeeeez!

A better thing to do is the example shown by The Shriners with the kids after they get the prosthetic arms and legs and are happy to be walking, playing and having fun being a kid! They focus on the good things that are done with the money instead of GUILTING people!

It’s the same thing with the televangelists who use all kinds of tricks to get people to donate money to line their pockets with the money and live in mansions! Who falls for this stuff? It’s sad and ridiculous.
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Texas School for the Deaf Austin wins state football championship!! What a great story this morning! 🏈
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I love our animals of the world .Once my niece befriended a racoon where she worked for a vet. A smart cookie. Niece was eating a granola bar and the racoon climbed up her leg and took the bar gently out of her hand and started nibbling on it. My father was an animal lover and brought us up tp respect animals highly. We had a family of skunks in our backyard he used to feed. I told him someday he will be sprayed, he replied" They would not spray me and they are Gods creatures" My father would call them and they came running to him and took the food out of his hand. When my dear father died a neighbor took the skunks far away from the neighborhood but they returned for about a year to our home. We had a friend named BunBun, I loved the little wild bunny. Stayed in our bush for about a year, left but comes back to visit us occasionally . We used to feed her blueberries, lettuce and carrots especially in the colder months When we went on a family vacation we would look for deer, they are so beautiful and graceful. My dad and mom took in a black lad when I was a teenager, he had no home and was sad. We had him for 15 years and boy did I love that dog. He was smart and simply beautiful had a black shiny coat, was well taken care of, always got lots of attention. I used to take him jogging with me and then we had a picnic together. The dogs of the town used to visit my dad and I mean lots of them. He always gave them a hug and kiss. I miss my dad and sad writing this, but glad to share some stories of a very kind and loving human being.
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NeedHelpWithMom, you addressed a tactic that's used more frequently, I think, at least in the tv commercials attempting to evoke tears for various causes.   The causes are good, it's the commercials and the PR behind them that I find offensive, as you do.

Another interesting thing I noticed sometime ago before changing channels b/c I got so tired of the same theme, is that the monthly request seemed to be $19, the tearjerker approach was used, and I suspected that the same fundraising company was behind the various commercials.  

I always checked salaries, especially exec salaries, before donation consideration.   Usually I go to the charities web page, but I just found this:

https://www.causeiq.com/insights/highest-paid-nonprofit-ceos/

The second highest, Ascension Hospital, in the last few years acquired the Providence chain, a nonprofit religious owned hospital which generally provided good service as well as an array of small seminars, a few for free.  It had an excellent PT program, on a level of another nonprofit hospital that's now been bought out by private interests.   The free seminars of the latter hospital were cancelled, med staff laid off, and quality eventually deteriorated.  

 Now that the new CEO & Pres makes $13,249,761, annually, I suspect a lot has changed, including the free seminars.

Skim through the list - it's quite interesting, especially given the number of medical affiliation institutions paying big bucks to their CEOs (who I'm assuming aren't on the front lines treating COVID patients).  

Interesting synopsis of the company that maintains this site:

"...helps companies grow, maintain, and serve their nonprofit clients."    I wonder what kind of "companies"?


Polar, and others who mentioned the ASPCA commercials, I found them so offensive, and exploitive.  I wonder how many of those poor shivering, suffering animals they really rescued, or did they just film them?   ASPCA is I think a good organization, but these commercials make me wonder who's choosing their publicity and fundraising companies.
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Garden,

Excellent points. I will read through it.

I hate any form of manipulation of others.

If I see any of that behavior I will have a few reactions.

I ignore them by changing channels.

I get annoyed and won’t take their plea for help seriously, which is sad because I do donate to worthy causes.

Overall, I am skeptical of the reasoning behind this type of marketing.

I wish that they would get a new PR person in charge and start over with better advertisements.

I respect non profits and I have nothing against religious organizations. I only want facts to be exposed as to where money is spent.
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Early
Your dad sounded like a wonderful man. He was lucky to have not gotten sprayed. You had a great dad & thank you for sharing that story.☺
Hugs!!!


Garden,
I have wonder the same thing about the commercials of ASPCA, if they just filmed the poor animals or if they really help them, which I think they do, but it does make you wonder!🤔

On another note, Does anyone really need to make over 13 million dollars who is not famous?! Some of these CEO just make way to much money...just my opinion!
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I haven't read all the comments but I am assuming everyone knows about GuideStar.org, CharityWatch.org, and others. You can even access the 990 IRS forms from some of these sites to check out how much money goes to salaries and how much to advertising and fundraising.
I highly recommend that you check out ANY charity before giving. Believe me, it's a real education.
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"Earlybird,"

Just wanted to echo what "Shell38314" said about the story you shared - loved it.

Your family was definitely blessed to have such a great father and I'm so glad he taught you and your siblings how to respect animals.

Your dad was probably thinking those skunks wouldn't dare "spray the hands that feed them" - lol!

I love the fact that all the dogs in town would come to him for their "hug and kiss" fix and that you were able to keep the black lab - what a happy ending for he or she.

How funny that when my cousin told me several months ago, when getting reacquainted after 40 years, that her favorite animal was the "fox" because they are so smart. She then asked me what my favorite was and I said "deer" because they are so beautiful and graceful - you and I often think a lot alike!!

I'm sure it was sad to write and share your story but, what wonderful memories to have as they will always be a special treasure for you :)
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Just heard about an app that helps strengthen those prone to falls. Called NYMBL an exercise program, ten minutes a day to help with balance. Some don't even need canes or walkers anymore when they use it.
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Thanks for that referral, Glad.
Since stay-at-home orders, my husband has not been bicycling as much.
The bicycle cured his issues with imbalance.

Maybe NYMBL will help him, and he can enjoy another APP on his phone.
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glad - NYMBL sounds like a good thing. Often it just takes a little of doing the right thing regularly to make a big difference
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Does anyone else still watch ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ like I do?

I have loved it since childhood. I love the story. I also adore the fantastic jazz by Vince Guaraldi.

It comes on tonight!
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Shell, I've changed my attitudes toward charities over the years, after discovering the sites that Alva mentioned, ones which I usually check, but just happened to find a list of exec salaries w/o all the other charity data.

We used to donate to the ASPCA, but as funds became tighter, and commercials more aggressive, we gradually narrowed down to just Veterans, animals and Salvation Army.   I suspect that the entity behind the $19/month donations has made a lof of money taking over the advertising of high profile organizations.

Some day I'll see if I can find out which ad agency makes the sob story commercials, but I don't know that there's anything I can do about it except advise that their commercials are so offensive I not only boycott them, but the charities as well.

(That's what I'm going to do to the marketers who've stopped USPS ad deliveries and instead hired someone to drive by and throw a package of ads onto lawns.   They get soggy, moldy, and who knows how many insects make the wet ads their homes?)  

If they refuse to stop throwing trash on my lawn, I'm going to call the companies/stores that advertise with them and advise that I'm boycotting their stores b'c of the trash their contractor throws on our lawns.   I'll just take my business elsewhere.

I can't remember if I've shared this before, but it's worthwhile to know.   Leader Dogs for the Blind was a good charity my father supported.    Then one day I got a solicitation from them, even though I'd never donated.   So I called and asked why they suddenly began to solicit me, and where they got my name.

Guess what?   You've probably seen those outfits that purport to find information on anyone and everyone except maybe Santa Claus and his elves?   If you haven't seen them, they list people THEY have determined to be relatives, and they list addresses which sometimes are correct and often not.

Leader Dogs for the Blind uses one of those sites to identify family members of donors, then solicits them as well.    I understand it from a marketing standpoint, but from a personal privacy invasion, it really annoyed me.  And it annoyed Dad.  So I called them and told them not only would I donate, but my father's donations would stop as well, and that that had no reason whatsoever to pry into his relations regardless of how much data is available online.

Alva, one day sometime ago I did access the IRS database on charity salaries and was more than overwhelmed at how many there were.   All that tax money lost, and often to fake charities, or these strange kind of alleged religious organizations.
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GardenArtist, I have looked myself up on the Internet to see how much information is out there. No only my unlisted telephone number, but also my address, and MY AGE. My birthday, and a part email address who's service I never had. Plus other addresses where I had lived, and never had lived :P One can pay $9.95 to get other information, like court judgments, arrests, etc.

Said sites show my ex-husband, his wife, his grown daughter, and someone I never heard of are living with me. WAIT? WHAT?
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Yes, basically all our information is "out there". People can tell where you live, how much you purchased the house for, and etc. My daughter was once stalked by a guy. He proved to her in seconds what he could get, not only her own life history, but that of her husband, other family members.
I often caution people here, when you communicate with people on Social Media, even in private groups and things marked "private message" assume you are announcing whatever you say to the world through a blowhorn. I have a friend who settled a law suit for 150,000 after being libeled on Facebook. Cost a crazy woman's insurance company that amount to settle. And I was amazed to find not only can what you write publically be got easily, but EVERYTHING YOU EVER WROTE, even in a private message or private group can be got with one court subpoena from FB or anywhere else. That's what he got. This person had said libelous things about him on her crazy dog rescue site, but she had, worse, discussed him on FB private messages group style, and what she said was so damning that insurance settled at once. She ran a rescue for pit bulls; as you can imagine her insurance wasn't easy to get. It's unlikely she will ever get insured again on an umbrella policy, so she will likely have to learn to curb her mouth.
My advice is to assume everyone knows everything, keep banking and private stuff OFF computer and phone, and don't say anything ABOUT anyone without assuming you are saying it directly into their very ear. Don't name-call, don't falsely accuse and don't hit at people who can come after you. They don't even need screen shots. They only need a lawyer. My friend M. had to be willing to sink 50,000 in a lawyer to sue; I thought he was nuts to try it. t he was furious, and he came out way ahead.
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FreqFlyer, the collection and sale of personal data is something that just infuriates me, and the primary reason I refuse to use any social media.   A cyberfriend stated that social media's product is US, and our personal data. He's right.   WE have become the commodities.  

And you're right that the data is NOT accurate.     This is an example of the stupidity of it and the sloppiness of data collection.   I bought some presents online for my niece's family, first time I've ever bought online.    All the data input was typed before I connected to the Internet, so no key strokes except Ctrl, C and Ctrl, V could be determined.

Yet when I went to that site to order again, when I copied my name in, the site pulled up and "offered" a selection of names, including those of my deceased parents, and something weird:  "State Michigan".   That's NEVER been my name! 

After some searching, I found out that Edge (that sloppy MS browser) was collecting names and caching them.    But I NEVER typed them while online, so the cashing must have occurred just from typing.    So now sometimes I type of the alphabet, then cut and paste to create what I want to type, then just copy and paste.  

When I can think clearly enough I'm switching to Chrome.   Hopefully it doesn't spy on me like MS does.

I'm also angry about the collection of medical data, especially online, by third party sources that host the data input site.    I ranted quite a bit here about being advised to enter medical data online, my refusal and battle to keep my information private.    This was last year; a resolution was finally reached, but I had to threaten to walk out and have the surgery cancelled before I got the attention the issue deserved.
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