Countrymouse Posted November 2018
On My Mind
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Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.
I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.
I think when people have had trauma and/or abuse at a young age it makes how they see things different from other people. It can make a person hard too. Hard times made me hard. I too see many people as having a "poor me" or "victim" mentality. Which is not to say that I don't care or that I lack empathy for others. People like us usually had to be adults and put away childish things a lot sooner than we should have had to. So we're not as indulgent of other people's nonsense.
@Need
You know there are people out there like your neighbor who actually enjoy grief. They really do. These people go to every funeral even when it's someone they barely knew because they enjoy it.
Your neighbor keeps her grief alive because she likes and craves the attention from others that someone who is grieving will get. If she let herself put down the constant grief she risks losing that attention. My grandmother was like that. She hated her husband to her very core. A pre-arranged marriage made back in the old country. He was an abusive drunk old enough to be her father who regularly to beat her and the kids. My father especially. When he died she wore head-to-toe black for the rest of her life. Some people enjoy grief. I think your neighbor is such a person.
I know what you are saying about your neighbor. I know someone who has a similar personality type and I have had to distance myself from her.
Like your neighbor, she also has a ‘victim’ personality and narcissistic traits.
The other thing that she does is, ‘one up’ everything that anyone else says to her. There is no comforting anyone like this. They are stuck in one position and don’t seem to want to get help.
The person that I know is still grieving horribly for her husband that died in 2009! She behaves like he just died yesterday.
I know that we will always miss people that we loved dearly, no matter how long it has been, BUT, her grief isn’t normal.
She wants to speak about her husband, morning, noon and night, day after day, week after week and year after year. She isn’t ever able to talk about anything else.
I gently told her to see a therapist and she responded by saying that they can’t help her. At that point, I was at a loss how to handle her situation.
I totally agree with what you’re saying. Grief is such a personal thing. Everyone experiences it in their own ways.
I’m so sorry that you lost your dad at such a young age.
Pam,
Said a prayer for you.
Glad - I am always sad hearing about your dad's suicide. That must have been very hard for you. Re your neighbour, people are different in personality culture etc. That could affect her grieving. I guess it would not be good for you to be sucked into that. We all have different ways of coping. I think I became very cynical at a young age due to family dysfunction.
I just don't know.
just sending courage, hugs & wisdom to all!
Have you seen the movie, ‘Her’ starring Joaquin Phoenix? It’s a Sci-fi futuristic drama. I love it!
Joaquin’s character is recently divorced and finds companionship from an artificially intelligent virtual assistant.
Or…
How about trying a ‘long distance kissing device’ to send your sweetheart a simulated kiss through the phone? This sells for around $38 and invented by Chinese tech students.
What about the 31 year old Chinese man several years back that created and built his robot wife after not being able to find a human wife.
Creative, huh? He had a wedding ceremony with her and invited family and friends. He will continue to upgrade her software to suit his needs.
I am married to an engineer. I hope that he never decides to build a new wife! LOL 😆
Bandy,
As you know, you must take those tests verbally, can't be writing it down, haha.
I made my doctor laugh when last I went in and she said "So how are you doing" and I said "I am practicing spelling five letter words backwards". Ha. And sometimes I DO in bed at night. Because I was NEVER good at this stuff. My memory has always been a bit faulty for things, as well. I don't hold onto the past well, which is the opposite of what most people have. They remember the past but not what they watched on TV last night. Alas, I think it great to expand the mind by doing things we don't ordinarily do, like puzzles if you play solitaire and solitaire if you do puzzles. But we can't change a whole lot. I guess we can be nicer to be around, but think we can't change a lot. Didn't the Nun Studies show that? I can't recall the outcome of that one (whoops!).
"I forget".
When there is someone to ask in the home: "How do you spell...?", or "What is that called?"....or "What was that word again?"....or "What day is it?"....or
"What time is it?"....
it becomes a bad habit asking others to do our thinking for us. It can lead to laziness in our own thinking, and more forgetting.
Use it or lose it.
Disease as we age can take away enough of our memory all too soon.
Making an effort to exercise our memory and our mind can help us to remain
independent in our thinking and less an irritation to those we live with.
So, open a new tab, look up what you need to complete that word or sentence, and be independent.
Who needs this advice more than me?
There have been many others recently with that constant pressure he had - with a LO just at them day after day after day. No let up. Just & won't pay for other people or services or change their ways. Just constant badgering family to do for them. Exhausting & relationship wrecking.
American Heelers
24000 Mercantile Rd. Ste. 14
Beachwood, OH 44122
www.orthopedicshoelift.com
216-378-2686
It’s tricky isn’t it. We exercise to stay fit and healthy but at times it can cause us problems too.
My daughter who was on dance team at school wrecked her knees. She’s had surgery and has arthritis.
Both of my daughters played volleyball, did gymnastics and dance. Of course, injuries are bound to happen when we overdo. Plus freaky accidents happen.
My physical therapist strongly stressed building up our core muscles. So did my mom’s home health physical therapist.
Your physical therapist will guide you in the right direction.
My husband had surgery on both of his shoulders. I teased him about his damage being from holding our kids on his shoulders for all of our Mardi Gras parades.
My husband was a track runner in school. He walks now but doesn’t run anymore. He never takes the elevator at his office. He climbs the stairs.
I was the avid cyclist. After my bicycle accident at age 44 my orthopedic surgeon told me to switch to my stationary bike.
I had a bad fall from a tree branch in the street and now have steel rods on both bones and the surgery was difficult to do. If I injure my arm again the surgeon won’t be able to fix it.
I rode miles and miles and miles on my bike since I was a young teenager. I loved it.