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Extravagant birthday parties have been a topic for discussion for years.

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0559759/

CW, I would just say no to contributing. Time for them to figure it out for themselves. are you sure it wasn't sister's idea to have everyone contribute? I have never heard of such a thing!
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I had frilly dresses too!

I was both a ‘girly’ girl and a girl who played in the mud and climbed in trees!

So, I had a healthy balance! LOL 😆

My mom didn’t care if we got dirty in the yard. Her only rule was to wash up before dinner. She taught us proper manners.
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Count me in for the backyard birthday parties 🍦🎈 🍰 and frilly dresses too. 👗But they were fun! And if there were spills, the lawn absorbed them. The birds 🐦picked up any crumbs. Great way to go.

cw and Margaret - those seem unreasonable to me.
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Best wishes on your upcoming wedding, Burnt!
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Weddings! I've been married twice and did not stress about the weddings either time.
The first one, I was young (18 yrs). We got married and my in-laws gave us a beautiful party outside at their house. There was probably 40 people there.
My second wedding was religious and officiated by a rabbi. Once again my in-laws paid for it and we had a nice reception in a lovely venue for about 75. I didn't have bridesmaids or registries or any of that nonsense. People just came, had a good time, and brought whatever gift they wanted or could afford. I never wanted anybody to ever feel like they were obligated to spend a certain amount because things are expensive.
A wedding is first and foremost a celebration. It's not supposed to be a fundraiser or a contest on who can try and out do Charles and Diana.
I cannot be bothered with all the bridal nonsense. With me it's good food, a good open bar, and a good band or DJ. The rest is unnecessary, self-imposed stress. I think I'm one of the few people who can honestly say they had a good time at their own wedding. I had a good time at both of mine.
When I stand under the canopy with my ex-husband for the second time it will be only the two of us. Probably in Israel or maybe Hawaii. Somewhere nice. Cheers to love!
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I felt so tired yesterday after getting my Covid booster. I fell asleep in about five minutes after my head hit the pillow.
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Margaret,

They have a different outlook on things than we did in our youth.

My oldest daughter is practical in her thinking. My younger daughter isn’t as practical!

I don’t have grandchildren. My youngest daughter spoils her dog! LOL 😆 I do love her dog though. He’s very sweet.

The other day she came over with a little magnet that she put on my refrigerator which said, ‘I love my granddog.’

That dog has a basket full of toys in her apartment!
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I’ve skipped getting things on a registry list, when I found it was from the most expensive department store in town. Very expensive bits of kitchen equipment you could get cheap from a supermarket, the design just as good.

I too find the growing number of ‘occasions’ a pain in the neck. I got into trouble with a daughter for turning down a very inconvenient invitation to the baby’s first birthday party. I didn’t ‘realise’ that all her friends would be there and highly judgemental if grandmother wasn’t. But then I'd never heard of a baby having a first birthday party, with alcohol. Perhaps we all need a brain update!
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Bridget,

What a great deal! Hotel and restaurant! Nice 😊.
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cw,

I feel like you do. I would rather have the money go towards the honeymoon.

They will have a small, intimate wedding with just the family. It would be lovely at a nice venue and then they could celebrate their marriage on their honeymoon.

People don’t seem to mind going into heavy debt when they are young. I don’t think it’s smart but I suppose they have to figure that out for themselves. They don’t always want to take others advice.
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I wish NHWM.

I don't get why they couldn't have planned a simple yet elegant ceremony and a meal at a fancy restaurant, especially since it's family only, and spend the money on a honeymoon trip. As it is they'll be in debt and my gift will not be much beyond my presence.
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cw,

Weddings are a happy occasion but stressful during the planning stages.

Actually, I can see why some people end up eloping!

I know what you’re saying though. Two of my nephews married in Hawaii. It’s expensive to participate in ‘destination’ weddings.

I always pick something from their registry for the gift. Some couples are asking for cash as gifts! It’s anything goes these days.
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FF,

Yep, things were different when we were younger!
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NeedHelpWithMom, when I was growing up my folks also had backyard birthday parties. My Mom made me dress up in a dress, oh how I hated wearing dresses as I was a tomboy, especially in the middle of July.

Not even graduation celebrations, as one was suppose to graduate from high school.
For college, I got a dozen roses and my folks paid for dinner out :)

When I got married, I wanted to save money so I found a really nice white prom dress for under $100 [this was back in the 1970's].
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It's not even about the money, it's about his/their total lack of understanding and the belief that he/they have planned something that we should be thrilled about and GRATEFUL for. And there is a palpable disappointment when anyone says anything that is perceived as negative, which is basically asking any questions at all.
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I got lucky when my son married. His future brother-in-law owned a hotel and a restaurant and donated their use for wedding events. His dad and I paid for food for the rehersal dinner and that was the only expense we had.
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cw,

Wedding expenses can get out of hand very quickly! Some couples have huge engagement parties too.

The ‘destination’ weddings cost a fortune! I know someone who had their wedding on an expensive cruise ship and had the reception on an island. Whatever…to each their own, if a person can afford it. Most people are on a more modest budget.

We didn’t have any engagement celebrations. I’m older. It wasn’t a popular thing then. I am 67.

What about those crazy ‘gender reveal’ parties too? Baby showers are a big deal now! Kids birthday parties too. We had backyard parties when we were kids.
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I just got off the phone with sis and I'm so stressed about a family wedding next spring, I know the groom is a hopeless romantic but he has absolutely no clue what he's asking of us and I don't think the bride is any better. He wants it to be "special" and he wants to please his fiancee - he doesn't get that having us each drop several grand on a tiny wedding (immediate family only) at a fancy venue is an expensive obligation not a fun time.
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They only offered the Bivalent here. Got it on 10/16/21.
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The got my fourth Covid a couple of months ago, before that the high dose flu.

Fully vaxed.

Now this new variant of Covid seems to be more contagious than previous variants. Hospitalizations increasing again. Just get me in and out of stores and other public places in a hurry, thank you, very much!
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That's great, Pam.

Good for you, need. I have to get my covid booster then I am caught up. Maybe toorrow.
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Great news Pam!
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So, I am all caught up with vaccines. Awhile back I got my flu, pneumonia and shingles. Today I got my Covid booster shot.
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Great news, Pam!
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well Whoo Hoo!! I get my truck back tomorrow!! It went to the dealership on the 13th, after crapping out 10 days prior, then the wait for parts. Luckily it is under warrenty, and the second time in for the same problems it was "recalled" for last year, so I own nothing! New transmission, back up camera system and module for the touch screen. Bad news.. it has adaptive driving,, so it will be back to the begining and it takes 800 or so miles to learn my driving style. I swear when I first got it I told my hubs it was trying to kill me! i had to get used to all the safety stuff. It even askes if I need to pull over and get coffee if I am distracted. Still have not found the coffee maker... LOL And the body shop called with the date they can fix my dent and wheel on the car. This year needs to move on and get better!
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Ali: Very sweet! Thanks for sharing.
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Awww - love it. Good for you. Hope someone takes care of that for me if I reach 103. In one of mother's facilities they cut her hair short into a nice style. In the NH all the ladies had the same "style" - hair cut straight around just below the ears. It wasn't becoming but most were past the point of having a hairdresser. Hope the tests show something that can be treated.
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Inspired by a thread about grooming in later life, I uploaded a picture of me cutting my 103 GM's hair. She knew I was taking care of her "looks" and appreciated it.

This pic is more than a decade old at this point. It just made me smile to remember.

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Barb, for yourself? I hope it's good news. How is DH?

I went to ENT yesterday. Audio test for tinnitus and a sleep study are ordered. I'm happy to be chasing down things related to sleep issues if only to rule them out. I still have more problems with sleep/panic than I'd like, even after my hospitalization and sodium correction.

FF, that's something I remember about you, how you love ancestry chasing, and I think it would be so much fun. And, as you alluded, how many women were lost to history because of their limited choices in society, and also because they took married names, I think.

It is what it is. It would be difficult for anyone, I imagine, to chase down maternal ancestors' families. They weren't documented the same way.
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Barb 🤞🙏❤️
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barb - hope it is nothing to be concerned about. R has had several surgeries for skin cancer as he has been out in the sun for hours and hours a day all his life. They have healed well.
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