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Llama, so sorry about your cousin.
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llama - condolences on the loss of your cousin. She certainly was "a force". I know you will miss her.
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Lealonni seems like a very nice person and post really helpful things here. MIL Hell this isnt about her but about you wanting to scapegoat someone because your own life is out of control. Get it together and get help for the terrible situation you are in. I get it that it's easier to hate someone you dont know then focus on yourself and the **** you are dealing with but that's not going to achieve anything positive in your life.
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PB: Thank you so much! My cousin was an amazing person.💕
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Since I was directed here because you are talking about me. Yes, I feel judged by that Leilani person. She is rude and I do not need her making me feel worse about myself. She should look in her own backyard.
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I sometimes check out the people who report those feelings and usually can not see anything amiss. Some people make a habit of rejecting any advice or narrative that deviates from what they want to hear, and sometimes people seem to go out of their way to find hidden meaning and nuance in everything they read. The most dramatic among them tend to be angry and seem to delight in divisive arguments and name calling, essentially doing everything in their power to provoke the kinds of reactions they are ranting about. 🤷‍♀️
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Someone on another thread said s/he was feeling "judged" here. I found this and thought it was a useful exercise.

What to do when you are feeling judged?


Feeling judged by people you meet
Manage underlying social anxiety. ...
Practice being okay with being judged. ...

Consider how often you judge others. ...

Notice the negative assumptions that you're making. ...

Ask yourself if you know for a fact someone is judging you. ...

Come up with compassionate answers to your inner critic.
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Llama, I am sorry for your loss. Your cousin lived to be 102, and was able to live alone at 100. Wow! Yes she was a "force of nature.'
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My 102 year old cousin passed away three days ago. She lived alone prior to her fall 18 months ago. About one week ago, her son called to say that she was transitioning and I got a chance to speak with her. She was a "force of nature" - quoted by her son. I shall miss talking and communicating with her.
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Aphasia is not always a symptom of dementia, but if Willis is suffering from both, so sorry.

Heche I can’t feel sorry for. She set a house on fire, injuring the resident, while plowing her vehicle into it under the influence of reportedly not just alcohol, but fentanyl and cocaine. Had she lived, the county was getting ready to prosecute her under multiple felony charges.
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Yes, that was quite sad about Anne Heche. I believe I had heard that about Bruce Willis.😥
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Just read in the news, Bruce Willis, 67 y.o., got diagnosed with aphasia, a form of dementia. OMG! He’s too young.

Anne Hache, 53 y.o., died. She was taken off life support and had her organs donated.

Sad news!
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Becky, so sorry you have to deal with so much. You’re a strong fighter, most of the time. Now and then you should let your hair down and vent all you want.
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Chocolate is definitely a favorite flavor in the little boys! Grand-nephew said he had "lost" his dad at football jamboree so he joined me in the stands; asked for some water and drank half a bottle in one go, then joined foster son in picking through my bag of candy which has a little bit of everything: butterscotch, peppermint, and cinnamon hard candies, fruit bites, tootsie roll midgets, and some snickers bites. I was watching the game, when I looked over the two boys were surrounded by candy rappers - all of them from the chocolate candies. I've never seen either one eat so much candy at one setting, fortunately it didn't make them sick!
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Ali, Ali, Ali!!! Glad you caught your mistake. Yes you will probably have dreams for a while. For years and years after finishing my studies - I mean like when the kids were growing up - I would wake up in May panicking over not studying enough for exams which came in June. And now, over 10 years into retirement, I still have the odd nightmare about not being ready for classes. Old habits die hard. 🤔

Enjoy some respite!
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Still in the hospital. Ongoing dialysis port problems. I'm so tired of the whole mess. I would love to pull the plug on dialysis. diabetic injections and then wreck my wheelchair. Vent over.
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I have narrowly avoided the most epic fail. I uploaded the wrong assignment to my capstone finals dropbox!!

The close of acceptable work is in 30 minutes. I'm thanking EVERYTHING that I noticed the error just now when I checked for grades. I sent my prof an email. Even if graded as a late submission, it's BETTER THAN GETTING A ZERO BECAUSE I PUT THE WRONG FILE.

I would have been so upset if I worked my butt off only to send in the wrong final. Whew.

Sometimes I hate technology. Of course, it's my fault, but that would never happen if I had handed in an actual paper. 😭 Note to self: "PS440 Assignment" and "PS498 Assignment" are not good file names. Too similar!

I hope I'm laughing about this soon. Right now, my brain is wondering what else I forgot. This doesn't help my recurring bad dreams where I forget to turn in school work. Now I'll be having them for a long time yet. lol
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My son in law's late cat could turn on and off a water faucet. DD's late cat loved to go on a lead and leash. However, when SIL was 'in charge' of the outing, he managed to escape the leash!
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golden: You're very welcome. Thank you for the comment on my brother. I sometimes SMH about his juris doctor degree.
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Edit: 1,001 photo album - I dislike erring. Ugh. Guess I was mad at my brother (in my mind) when typing that.
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golden23, how wonderful that your Mom made copies of her Grandfather's portrait.

I am heavy into Ancestry and love those old photos, which I put into the family binders. But I didn't get interested until I was in my early 70's and after my parents had passed, I realized I didn't know enough about who were their cousins, etc. And thankfully my parents kept a lot of photos. My Dad's grandfather was a professional photographer, that helped. There were even some outlaws/rattle rustlers in the family.
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ali - congrats on being done with your last paper (if I have that right). That's some request from your mum, but understandable. I expect it is a big job, but I can see why you would want to find family "treasures". Do celebrate, even quietly ,the end of this effort and your wonderful accomplishments. I am glad you are planning on continuing your education. I think it is the right thing for you. Robax (methocarbamol) is OTC here. It's the only thing that helps my FM pain and doesn't have the side effects of NSAIDS which don't work for me. It seems pretty safe, not that I need to use it much these days.

Thx llama - Robax and a bath helped. I lugged several armfuls of photo album downstairs, as well as moving a few bit of furniture to the garage for dumping. My back didn't like it. Sounds like it is good that your bro lives far away.

((((luckylu)))) - to many memories, eh? For me it brought up a lot of bad stuff that I don't need to be reminded of. Mother spent a lot of money making copies of old photos. For example I have 5 copies of a portrait photo of her grandfather on her mother's side. She made up large folders of her family ancestors for my kids and none of them wanted them, though I didn't tell her that. They got tossed. I guess it kept her busy doing something she enjoyed.
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sp19690, it's fascinating that your late cat still opens the door to the bathroom. That was quite a bond you and your husband had with the cat =^..^=
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I'm going through all the photo albums at my house too Golden and it's a real chore,
Iv'e only made it through 3 albums so far and the memories are about to do me in~
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golden: Hope that your hot bath soothes you. My brother was so engrossed about creating his !,001 photo album that he couldn't even respond to me when I WAS TALKING TO HIM. Mind you, we reside on opposite coasts of the U.S. So yes, I get it. Ugh.
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Your welcome FreqFlyer. I stopped using fabric sheets all together because they are toxic to cats. All floor cleaners unless safe for cats to. My cat used to use the bathroom when my husband did since we had the litter box in there. It was so funny. He used to barge into the bathroom when hubby would take a shower cause hubby would leave a couple of treats on the bath mat for him and he loved his treats. He's gone now but every time my husband takes a shower the door to the bathroom bursts open just like our cat used to do when he was alive.
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sp19690, thanks for the heads up on pets and diffusers. My ginger cat has a high sense of smell. He won't come near me if I brush my teeth... had taken a bath... had used mouth wash... put on lotion... put on baby powder... had used nose spray... used scented detergent or scented dryer sheets. But he will sit with me when I am in the bathroom and am [ahem] busy.

Also had a cat decades ago who got sick, she could hardly breathe. Rush her to the Vets. Turned it was a product that one sprinkles on the carpet and then vacuum up, to make the rugs smell better.
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Yes you never use an essential oil without a carrier oil because they will burn you. I learned the hard way about diffusing essential oils around my cat. He was sick and throwing up and I had no idea and then the thought to google essential oils popped into my head.
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Ah, sp, that's interesting. I was thinking, "Of course, no one's giving it to pets internally," but Google says it's also toxic for pets when diffused. I assume people do due diligence before they try things. But then again, I watched a YouTube video where a woman put 100% rosemary oil on her face and professed its healing qualities, even as her face turned red from a reaction. (Adding a carrier oil would've been a better way to try that.. and then try to sell it to her audience. 😆)
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