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Solar storms and Coronal mass ejections could be responsible for a slowed internet or website.
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CW, I am lucky with food. My son and granddaughter both love to cook and bring m things.. I'm a diabetic and have CKD so my diet is always somewhat restricted. But the NH is not nearly as bad as some of the hospital food I've had.
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The food at my mom's nursing home was mostly quite good, but the menus were an endless repetition right down to the type of vegetables served with each entree so I can imagine that getting old pretty fast. You have been lucky enough to have family that brings in food Becky, some (most?) don't have that option. And I honestly can't see how my small town NH could cope if anyone ever needs a special menu (vegan, kosher, halal, celiac or gluten intolerance, IBS etc), their meal choices would be whittled down to a handful of items.
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I've been in the NH and can offer a couple of observations. I am well treated and receive the care and therapies I need. My dialysis is good. I get weary hearing the people complaining about everything and everyone. The food is okay. But it's extremely boring. I'm used to more. On the upside my stepson and his girls are her visiting for a couple of days. I wouldn't mind if I hadto be here permanently.
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TNtechie,
Turn the grief/guilt/regret into gratefulness.
When the thought comes on, say to yourself, miss you Mom, wish you were here. I will enjoy this for us both now.

Maybe something like that, using your own words.

I am happy for you that you get to experience those games! I loved seeing my grandchildren play soccer and basketball. And baseball when my son was growing up-All Stars! Those were happy times!

Again, sorry for your loss. 🌹
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Website is slowing, have to wait to get on this thread to complain.
But then I see others have already mentioned it.
Aw, sad, because I am running out of time at the first of every month.

See you all soon!

Finding recipes online by entering the ingredients is amazing. Dh and I are cooking cooperatively together-and he makes the rice! Last night was Turkey, rice, bell peppers, onions, tomatoes, mushrooms, and a sesame dressing sauce cooked in.
Lots of spices to perk up what would have been bland. It was gourmet excellent, one pan. Key was not to over-stir the ingredients together.

Fun at home!
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Spent yesterday afternoon watching middle school.baseball. The weather started out nice for March 1, in the low 60s when the game started @4:30 but dropped into the upper 40s before it was over. After spending years taking my mother to these events and then missing them for the last 3 years after Mom couldn't go, it feels strange to be attending again. There is a feeling of grief/guilt/regret that I can attend again because I no longer need to care for Mom. I wonder when that feeling will go away?
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hugs from here!! :)

this comment is just to point out something nice that happened :).

today my LO (91) needed to do a procedure at the hospital (it’s standard, but there’s always a small risk).

here i was worrying, silently, while my LO was with the doctor in another room.

all went well!
and i was informed that my LO was singing the whole time! :)

my LO is always in a good mood.

amazing.
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Barb: That sounds like an interesting read. Must put it in my phone notes.
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"Never Simple" by Liz Scheier is a first person account of growing up with a mentally ill parent and attempting to manage when dementia is added to that parent's other challenges with facing reality. It's a really good read.
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glad: Congratulations on your new home.🏠
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goodnight from here :).

and thanks — i’m so glad this website exists. i learn A LOT of practical things. i learn A LOT of emotional advice.

just great.

and amaaazing, all the loving things people do for their LOs.

hug!!!!
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Extremely slow since Sunday night
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Is the site navigation once again incredibly slow for anyone else?
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:) adding another comment to my comment, below.

again, this is actually just "in my mind", but i feel like writing it anyway...

1 of my LOs had parents who were doctors.
and growing up, my LO heard many stories about difficult patients, and therefore made a very conscious decision that in old age, the LO would NOT be difficult.

so here i am, with 1 LO who is verrrry sweet, kind, appreciate (anyway, throughout their life) -- but especially now during old age.

and 1 LO who is NOT easy (anyway, throughout their life, sometimes, very difficult) -- and especially now during old age.

---------

wishing us all lots of strength -- and the wisdom not to get derailed from our own direction/goals/dreams in life.

hugs!!!!
:)

i'll now try to go back to being calm -- but first i'll be a volcano for a few weeks (in my mind). as a volcano, maybe i can become a tourist attraction :).

volcanoes can make islands...
maybe something nice will come out of my volcanic activity.
:)
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hello :).

what's on my mind?...

this is more of a message to myself...literally in my mind...
but i want to write it anyway.

with all my nice intentions to stay calm...
i got very frustrated today (in my mind)...

oh boy.
trying to help my LO.

LO making bad/dangerous decisions/falling-risk...

hourssss spent researching a product for LO, who wanted it (safer).
today, LO said doesn't want it.
i think the product (special, comfortable, safe armchair) is an excellent idea.

-----

it's not easy.

-----

i'll try to go back to calmness.

hugs to us all, with our various challenges!

bundle of joy :)
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It sounds great, glad. Love the views!!! You have a lot of work ahead of you.
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This morning I woke thinking how fortunate I am to have found the new home. I usually check realtor.com several times a day for new listings. For whatever reason the home did not find its way into realtor but other sites have it. My realtor was very helpful, it looked like the lot was at the very corner of the subdivision, so a large lot, no small lots directly adjacent.. Highest elevation in the subdivision with mountain view from West Windows and forest view from East Windows

I am.excited for the framing, first floor to get built so I can get a better idea of the views. And the garage is on the south side of the lot, adjacent to county that is not very well taken care of. I am excited!

As I was writing the contract, a couple came in wanting to also write on the house.

Now get my butt out of bed and start packing.
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Don't you love how your brain works, Glad? Good job!
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Well, can you just see it?! I have lived such a clean life. Contracted on a new home yesterday, at the new location, just three minutes from home to work. Then to have a bench warrant issued for my arrest for not showing for jury duty!

A couple hours ago, I realized that tomorrow is February 28. What is going on that day? OMG, I came across a notice for jury duty that I had stuck away, hiding, from first showings. Thank goodness decided to finish up my taxes to get them ready for the accountant. Came across the notice. All jurors have been excused tomorrow. Thank Goodness! I have other things to do!
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Gershun: Thank you. It most certainly is.
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Yes Llama, I have and will continue to do so. It's all so sad.
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Pray for Ukraine.🇺🇦
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Barb: That was an odd request for sure.
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ali - I totally agree as long as the child's wishes are safe and reasonable. I don't think you are missing anything. Her birthday should be about her, not fulfilling someone else's plans. I was in a situation where my mother decided she wanted to take my middle son, aged about 7, with her and her sister (his great aunt) on a trip. I said no, It wasn't as if he had seen her often or had any special relationship with her. She was no Auntie Mame. Even if he, in his innocence and youth had said he would go, I would not have allowed it. It wasn't emotionally safe for him.
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I don't know that a 5yo would have a good time going out with old men she doesn't know on her birthday. Perhaps as a non-parent I'm being naive here but why shouldn't she decide? Not rhetorical; I'd like a parent's perspective.

I hope grandfather comes around to see that familiar others along for the outing would be best for her. But I don't understand why her feelings and welfare aren't the primary consideration.
...
TNtechie, I love the story. It is a very special relationship. I supervised my college-age nephew's party (parents knew about that) where there was beer (they didn't know about that part). I figured it was far better that nephew could trust me enough to volunteer that information about drinking and ask me if I was ok with it. Maybe it was the wrong decision, in hindsight, but they were college-aged kids and could've snuck the alcohol without telling me if they wanted to. I was glad he could tell me and allow me to supervise. I hope my nephews/niece always feel they can trust me with some of the things they don't tell their parents. It's far better than the alternative where they don't tell anyone. So I keep their secrets and I have a very special relationship with each of them that I treasure. :)
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I didn't leave my son with anyone until he was 13. By that age, he could speak up for himself. And physically he was big enough to put up a good fight or run if need be. My mother and my MIL were both firm believers in corporal punishment and my husband and I were not. A 5 yr old is too young to leave with these men.
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TNtechie,

You encounter with your great nephew was awesome.

Every child should have an Auntie that adores them and their children and let's them get a sugar buzz with no hassle :-)
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Send, I wasn't attempting to comment on the serious discussion, sorry my little "sharing" interrupted it. I just got on and started sharing my interaction with the kid for (hopefully) others' assumement.

As to the serious discussion, I believe no child should be left with an unknown to them person until they are old enough to get away from that person if needed, at least 10-12 depending on where they will be. Unfortunately I had a lot of time to consider this as my nephew's ex had a boyfriend with a drinking problem and a aggravated assault record.

My own relationship with the kids has pretty much started at birth as I babysat them from days to weeks old; they literarily remember me as always being part of their lives. It also helps that I'm on the second generation; my nephews were the "original sweet little boys" so they know from personal experience the kind of spoiling I do with their kids! I have taken them on vacations, with and without their parents - and even at the parents' request as the babysitter on a skiing vacation. I stay in my lane; one time I remember telling a young man he couldn't hold the roman candles as they went off although he told me his dad let him. I told him that was a daddy decision that a mere aunt couldn't make.

I like to think I have added something good to their lives. I know they have added to mine.
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Barb, "Just concerned that this grandfather might not have the wherewithal to attend both to his ancient dad and this precious 5 year old.�" That was my first thought, too. It would be a hard NO without a chaperone for the child. Can he be informed that she is "special needs"? That might scare him into accepting...
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