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bechy - That's not good news! Hope they treat you well in NH. Heal fast so yo can be out of there. You are on dialysis?
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Becky, ugh I'm so sorry but hang in there and have a speedy recovery!
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Oh, Becky! That really sucks. I am so sorry.

(((((Hugs)))))
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I’m being moved to NH today. My orthopedist says swelling has to go down before he can operate. Probably 3 weeks. New x-rays read by radiologist show 4 bones broken in my ankle and foot along with tibia fracture. NH will keep my foot/leg elevated. My stepson who is a doctor thinks I have 3 to 4 months before I’ll be up and around much. Getting hauled around to go for dialysis isn’t much fun either.
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golden: You're very welcome.
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glad - it hasn't been a problem as usually the groceries are piled very close to the door so I don't have to reach far, and eggs are normally bagged. I should have either stood closer to them or, even more sensibly, squatted to pick them up. If they had been in a bag it wouldn't have happened. The bottom of my door is not level with the stoop so anything like a sled would have to be lifted over the door sill which wouldn't be easy.. I'll just be more careful from now on and practice my squats and proper lifting technique more. 😉

One lady I know who has back and balance problems has a table on her porch for deliveries. That's not a bad idea.

I did alert instacart and said I did not want that shopper again - not bagging eggs????.
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What about placing some sort of sled type object on the porch with a rope to the door so you can just pull it in to unload? Label the sled, of course, to leave objects inside of it.
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llama -thx -I'm doing fine.

thx glad - makes me wonder at the wisdom of my driveway being kept so clean. Landing on snow would have been softer. The eggs would have been a mess and what's more I would have had to clean the mess up!

I will have to practice better lifting technique - i.e. not bending over but squatting to lift. Strong Scandinavian stock for sure. I don't remember anyone in the family ever breaking bones though one of my boys did break a couple as a child. Jumping off the garage roof feet first onto frozen ground is too hard for the heels.
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Golden, be careful! I am glad you didn't land on the eggs either. That would have made one heck of a slippery, slimy mess.

Take care of yourself and be careful. Good thing you didn't break anything. Strong Scandinavian stock.
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golden: Oh, my! Sorry that you, too, had a mishap. Hope you heal quickly.
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Becky: Oh, my! So sorry. I saw your post on the dinner thread before coming on this thread and I saw that you missed the dinner cutoff and wondered.
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ITRR. ] thx. Actually with the black eye, I look more banged up than I feel. So thankful!
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Gokden, I am glad the eggs made it;-) Priorities, right?

Hope you feel less banged up soon.
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becky - better the fibula than the femur!

polar - yes, indeed, Thx
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Becky - wishing you quick healing and recovery.

Golden - a close call, wasn't it? Glad it wasn't worse.
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Glad, It's fibula. Ortho guy just corrected me. Too many pain meds - my minds bad.
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Becky, sorry to read that. What do you mean lower right femur? I am by no means a skeletal system genius, I thought the femur was a thigh bone.

Fast healing and recovery.
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Oh dear. I guess I had better come clean, I wasn't going to mention it but...front porches seem to be dangerous places.

This winter I took care to set up mine and the steps for the winter with non-skid mats so I, visitors, and those delivering items would be safe, but I had an incident the other day, too.

The last grocery deliverer scattered the groceries all over the front stoop including placing two cartons of eggs, not bagged, on the edge of the stoop. I stretched and leaned over to get the eggs and started to lose my balance. Took a big step to counterbalance - all good so far - but that meant I stepped off the stoop, over a step and landed one foot on the driveway, which slopes down. From then on I must have looked like a drunken sailor leaning into a high wind as I lurched about 1/3 of the way down the driveway, trying to regain my balance, grabbing a rose twig on the way - which didn't help - and finally landing on my side with the side of my face and the edge of my glasses hitting the concrete. I got up right away.

My glasses aren't broken nor are any bones. I just have a little scraped skin on my knees and a small cut on a finger, a sore spot on my thigh and a few wandering aches here and there. I haven't found any bumps or bruises other than a goose egg under my eyebrow, a sore cheek bone and a lovely black eye developing where my glasses dug into my eye. I guess my bones are good and I consider myself very fortunate, if not very pretty, at the moment.

Had I been on level ground I don't think I would have fallen, but gravity took over.

I am so glad I didn't land on the eggs. 😉
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Becky - so sorry. Hope they look after you well and you recover quickly.
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Becky, that must have been quite a surprise.  I'm sorry to learn it happened, and hope that your stay, surgery and recovery are successful, and quick.    Who knew that porches could harbor such a potential danger?

It seems as though others are facing some challenges as well.  I hope that relaxation, contemplation on life and family and what's good about life help you, me and the others here through the rest of the year and through the pandemic.
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Becky, prayers for a fast recovery.
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Becky! Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry to hear. Merry Christmas!
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Merry Christmas! I’m in the ER. I slipped putting salt on the porch steps. Broke my right lower femur. Orthopedist will do surgery next week. Meanwhile a cast and admitted to hospital. Glad I didn’t have holiday plans.
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Barb: Hugs to you, too. The holidays often are a difficult time.
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Scheduled Covid booster for 12/28 at local CVS, which is less than one mile away from my house.
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Gershun: I am sorry that you are having a difficult time. Hugs.💜
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(((((((hugs))))))) gershun - sorry you are having such a hard time. As I am sure you know, you can't change anyone else, you can only change yourself.

A few thoughts - "Swearing, cursing wishing death upon his fellow mankind, etc " - being around that is emotional abuse in my books. When he is behaving better, I would tell him that I can't be around someone who behaves like that as it is too hard on me -and when he starts leave the room and go somewhere else. He is getting what he wants which is your attention and support. You can choose not to enable his behaviour by changing your behaviour. Stop the pep talks, the listening ear, the adult speeches

I agree he is self centered and childish. Pandering to his moods doesn't do you nor him any good.

Focus on yourself and getting your needs met. "When do I get to have my time to wallow? When do I get to lay around, feel sorry for myself and have him be my pillar of strength." Take time to wallow if that's what you want to do. Have your pity party when you want one - BUT - and a big BUT here - don't expect him to be your pillar of strength. Find your support elsewhere. Maybe with a change in dynamics in your relationship he can learn to be more supportive - maybe not. In any case you need support sometimes and if he can't/won't give it you need to find it elsewhere. I am not suggesting you find another man. Think about where you can get the support you need. I know it is not easy.

You don't HAVE to prop him endlessly. It is your choice to do so or not. It sounds like you are burnt out. Concentrate on you and doing what is good for you, what lifts you up and stop doing what drags you down.
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Gershun, I am feeling VERY cranky also; at DH, my kids, everyone. I think its a combination of the dark, the seaonal expectation of joy and the recent surge.

Can you try just ignoring DH for a few days? Leave him to his own resources and don't participate in the "dance"?

I think I'm going ignore everyone myself...
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Ali, great news!
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Well, hate to be a downer especially at this time of year and with all the other bad news around but I have gotten so depressed the last two to three days. I always get depressed this time of year but this is a hundred times worse. I don't know why or how I've gotten like this but just wanted to come on here and vent.

My tolerance to my hubs and his emotional roller coaster personality is down to nothing and I think that's part of the problem. I'm always having to adjust myself to his moods. If's he's up it's a good day but when he's down and when I say down in his case this can mean just about anything. Swearing, cursing wishing death upon his fellow mankind, or sullen, whiny and constantly complaining and feeling sorry for himself. Its gotten to the point that I don't even enjoy his good days anymore cause I'm just anticipating the bad day just around the corner. He's not abusive. He's just self centered and childish. He comes from a culture that babies their men and treats them like they are Kings. I'm not from his culture.

I just can't do it anymore. When do I get to have my time to wallow? When do I get to lay around, feel sorry for myself and have him be my pillar of strength. Cause inevitably when I'm feeling sad and need comforting I may get it for half a day and then it's back to him, him, him, him. He's so used to me being the strong one, the sensible one, the comforting one that when I'm feeling like I've been feeling lately he just looks at me and gives me the "snap out of it" expression. He's completely useless in bad, sad, situations. When my mom was dying he couldn't even comfort me then. I've always been good at comforting myself with my faith etc. but that isn't even working for me these days.

These last few days I just have shut down emotionally. I don't have it in me to give him the pep talks, the listening ear, the adult speeches. I'm just so tired of having to prop him up endlessly.

I love him.........but I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if I can live like this anymore. I don't want to leave him but what do I do?

Any advice?

PS: He doesn't think there is anything wrong with the way he acts so suggesting he goes for counseling just won't fly.
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