On My Mind

Llamalover,

You wrote about advice your DH gave you on separate nose pads for glasses.  I probably missed any earlier comments as I don't visit this thread that often.   But could you share that advice?   I'd had nosepad problems with my glasses and am really getting tired of it.

Thanks.

Glad, your insights are emotional, tender, realistic, sobering, and inspirational.    Your analytical capabilities in putting the situation in perspective are admirable.

You'll be in my thoughts as well, and I'll be looking forward to another post from a very determined, rational, adaptable and compassionate woman.

May peace accompany you through this journey.

Glad: Prayers going out to you tonight. Your words were not only true, but very moving.💚

Glad, that was beautiful......very well written. I've got so many scabs over my old heart that anyone who wants near it needs to prepare to pick away at them. (gross analogy) right? But true nonetheless.

Glad, you've got this. You are in my prayers.

EB,

I did find my size in pants. I don’t know about where you are but some of our stores are so warm inside, especially the fitting rooms. So, I hate trying things on in the store. We get so hot here in New Orleans!

I do like casual dresses for the summer. You’re right, the style doesn’t change much so you can wear them season after season.

Sending many hugs your way, Glad.

Hello glad,
Thinking of you this morning. Sending you a special prayer and big hug.
Early

(((((((glad)))))) - this is your path - no one else's. I would want to be home as soon as possible too. I completely understand your difficulty in needing help. Facing that and learning - slowly - is good . It's not comfortable, I know.

Wonderful expressive writing. One thing I would add is that no one is perfect so even a truly very good friend can let you down or hurt you unintentionally - but not regularly or often.

You are definitely worthy of love and support! You are on the hearts of many as you go through this trial. More ((((((((hugs))))))) 💛💛💛

Amen

Talked with nurse navigator yesterday. What do I bring, not bring? What do I need to have at home when I return? Can post up be moved up, so in can return home sooner?

She wants to make sure this is the route I want to take. So many women get terribly emotional when facing this. I really have not been at all.

The thing that is hardest is the impact on my kids lives. And coming to the realization that I will really need help. Had to tell some neighbors for lawn care help, checking mail, checking in on Ming. It is hard for me to depend on anyone.
This. Hits. Hard.
The inability to receive support from others is a trauma response.
Your “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” conditioning is a survival tactic. And you needed it to shield your heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you.
From the parent who was absent and abandoned you by choice or the parent who was never home from working three jobs to feed and house you.
From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but never offered a safe haven that honored your heart.
From the friendships and family who ALWAYS took more than they ever gave.
From all the situations when someone told you “we’re in this together” or “I got you” then abandoned you, leaving you to pick up the pieces when s*** got real, leaving you to handle your part and their part, too.
From all the lies and all the betrayals.
You learned along the way that you just couldn’t really trust people. Or that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point.
Extreme-independence IS. A. TRUST. ISSUE.
You learnt: if I don’t put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I won’t have to be disappointed when they don’t show up for me, or when they drop the ball... because they will ALWAYS drop the ball EVENTUALLY right?
You may even have been intentionally taught this protection strategy by generations of hurt ancestors who came before you.
Extreme-independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak.
So, you don’t trust anyone.
And you don’t trust yourself, either, to choose people.
To trust is to hope, to trust is to be vulnerable.
“Never again,” you vow.
But no matter how you dress it up and display it proudly to make it seem like this level of independence is what you always wanted to be, in truth it’s your wounded, scarred, broken heart behind a protective brick wall.
Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either.
Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming.
It’s a trauma response.
The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed.
You are worthy of having support.
You are worthy of having true partnership.
You are worthy of love.
You are worthy of having your heart held.
You are worthy to be adored.
You are worthy to be cherished.
You are worthy to have someone say, “You rest. I got this.” And actually deliver on that promise.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy.
You don’t have to earn it.
You don’t have to prove it.
You don’t have to bargain for it.
You don’t have to beg for it.
You are worthy.
Worthy.
Simply because you exist.
-Jamila White, @inspiredjamila

Hi NeedHelp,
How was your shopping experience with pants? Hope you found the right size.
I love sun dresses One of my all time favorites is about 20 years old and it still looks new. It is pretty blue and navy color with small white pearls at the neckline, 100% cotton. It is the most comfortable cotton dress I ever had. I was at a store the other day and a young woman kept looking at me and fianlly told me she loved my dress and it was her kind of style. I told her it was old but my favorite.

I have a pair of readers, first ones I ever got, that I love. They are rimless, just the 1.25 material where the edges are etched. Wanted stronger rx in those. The price?! $350.00! The buffing and etching quite a time consuming and difficult process. I guess I will go with the 2 for $20.00 Foster Grants from Walgreens when they are on sale. Don't get the Wally world 3fer15 deal. They last long enough but the frame quAlity is terrible. The finish rubs off and you will be left with clear frames when the bows are about to break because they can no longer be tightened.

EB: Sending prayers for your biopsy and positive results.

GA: I have seen Riverdance and it was very uplifting. One couldn't help but leave there in a positive mood - if they were down.

Need and GA: A while back I had an appointment at my opthamologist's optical shop to purchase new eyeglasses and sunglasses. Made very quick selections, else I'd be there forever. Also, my DH gave me on tip on no separate nose pads. He was right.

Thx send. The farmers badly need it and we need the fire hazard lowered

Need I am laughing about your comments on clothing sizes.. they are all over the place! My BFF liked to shop at Chicos.. I went with her a few times. They are crazy and make up their own sizes,, I actually wear a 2 in Chicos clothes.. but a 14 everywhere else!! Their biggest size is a "3",, LOL Is this to make us feel better?? "yes I wear a 2 thank you.." They have lovely clothes, and we took my Mom there once to look for slacks.. she was very tiny,,, normal size 4 maybe.. they told me to take her to childrens store, as she was too small for a size 000.. who the heck wears a negitive size??

Hello GardenArtist,
My mom and I saw Riverdance. It was wonderful and so uplifting. I would love to learn step dancing but I think I am not so coordinated as I used to be. LoL.

NeedHelpWithMom,

I totally agree about the selection of glasses - they're not for the average working person!  

And the frames from Lenscrafters always start shifting after a while, pinching the sides of my nose.  I got so tired of going back there that I'll never go there again, and I might just return to the ophthalmologist who handled the cataract surgery.  

Check the receipt for the glasses, if you bought them.  When I got my last pair, the pandemic was beginning to accelerate, and I really didn't want to be in the store for any longer than to get my frames.  Later, I found that they ONLY have 20% blue light protection.

We consumers are being exploited on many levels.

Hi NeedHelp,
Happy clothes shopping. I am waiting until I take off 10 pounds and then I will shop and hopefully by the end of the summer. I love the discounts at the end of the season.
Oh yes mom is full of sunshine and people just love her. We had a little singing session in the car today and she knew most of the Irish songs. She starts moving her legs up and down and smiling. I just love it. Her big blue eyes are stunning and shine through with joy and love. I enjoy her so much.

For the Irish music lovers here, I assume you're equally fond of step dancing, and especially Riverdance and its very, very talented dancers?    I've seen Riverdance probably a dozen times, and never tire of it.  I think it would change a lot of blue moods if it were aired at ILs, ALs, and memory care facilities.

When Riverdance first debuted, I did some research and learned that in fact there is a local dance company whose instructor teaches step dancing.   If only I were younger and could dance that rapidly ...sigh....

And for dance lovers, have you ever watched Mickela Mallozzi's Bare Feet?  She's a dancer herself, and travels the world to learn and demonstrate dances typical to various countries.    The episodes always include instructional sequences, which I couldn't pick up quickly enough, but I'm sure those with good dance background could.

But just watching inspires me to get up and start prancing around and get some good exercise.

Need, I buy my glasses at Costco and much cheaper than other stores.I found some pretty designer ones that I like very much.

NeedHelp,
Thanks for shaing your experience. I am glad the biopsy was benign. You just made me feel better. I am trying to take one day at a time and after all it could be benign.

EB,

Sending prayers. I had a biopsy years ago. Mine was a solid mass though. It’s unnerving to go through. Thankfully, it was benign.

So, how many of you hate picking out your eyeglass frames? I went this afternoon to look. It drives me crazy!

I am not cheap. I don’t mind paying a fair price, but come on, $500 just for frames! Then another $500 for the antiglare progressive lenses! It’s crazy! I am going to look at other places for less expensive frames. I don’t need expensive designer frames!

Scheduled for my breast needle biopsy next Thursday. Will have results within a week. For all of you that said prayers thank you very much, I really do appreciate all of you!
Early

Golden,
Praying for rain. ☔️

🌦🌧🌨💧 Just enough.

Polar: My DD bought her MIL a Romba. Her MIL loves to watch it go!😁

EB,

Celtic music is beautiful! Your mom sounds so precious! I bet she was so full of life when younger and brought joy to everyone that she met.

Talk later, I have to go exchange some pants that I bought. When I tried them on at home. I was disappointed that they are too big. I hope they will have a smaller size. I find pants are a hard fit! Dresses are actually cooler in our climate, but I needed some new casual pants and I hadn’t bought any in awhile. I thought these would fit. Nope! They are baggy. Grrrrrr.

Nothing is cut true to size these days. I hate that we can’t just grab a size and go. Some run small, some run larger. The size on the label means nothing anymore.

I want a ‘Rosie’ like on The Jetson’s cartoon that I watched as a kid! 😆 LOL

She (Rosie) can do the cooking and cleaning! 😊