Countrymouse Posted November 2018
On My Mind
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Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.
I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.
I admit that I wish I still had my record collection! I have tons of cds but guess what? No CD player!!! The new cars don’t have them.
Oh well. My kids say that I am out of the loop!
God, grant me the serenity.
You have your first piece of documentation!
Screw ups always make mistakes. She just made a major one by leaving a paper trail where you were not charged with anything!
She’s a trouble maker! Her pattern will start showing.
Hang in there, Ali. We are pulling for you. Hugs!
I notified professors. I may not need the extension but I have it. I'm working on homework now and the house has been quiet. I think N went to sleep finally.
But... not before police were called by her and she claimed I stabbed her. Obviously I didn't stab her but this is just getting bonkers. She had been on a yelling rampage throughout the apartment and then was kicking really hard on the door as I'm sitting in the spare room doing homework and was saying "This is a really nice room, maybe I'll move in here. It's my place now." I pushed her -- more like restrained her as she was coming in to a spare room where I'm just sitting at the little desk, minding my own business -- and after I pushed her out I retreated to the room. I heard her on the phone to 911 and what she was saying. I called them myself to tell them the truth. CPD finally came and I showed them videos of N last night and overnight from Ring. They left after giving us both documentation to file a domestic abuse incident.
In a way, this is good. It's LEO documentation of things. She is saying she will file charges against me and sue me. I don't think she has a leg to stand on but I'm also not dealing with a rational person. My landlady said she will write a letter on my behalf for a judge. So... I'm slowly working towards evidence for a restraining order... I hope?! I would gladly hand this off to a lawyer to handle for me. I'll keep working to find one that will help.
This went from barely tolerable to a living nightmare real fast.
I appreciate your comments and PMs. I'm holding it together somehow. I will do One Day At A Time, just like bad caregiving situations.
*I ordered extra interior cameras for the apartment and they should be here tomorrow. My manager was very kind and I'm off the next two days. I have Ashwagandha and turmeric tea and I'm surprised how calm I feel after drinking some, making some now. One Day At A Time.
Great suggestion from Send to notify your professors.
Take advantage of any opportunity to use in not getting behind in school.
You’re doing great though. You’re focusing on what’s most important.
It’s terribly frustrating and unfortunate to have been bombarded with your roommate’s outbursts during this hectic time in your life.
Exams are a lot of pressure under any circumstances. This makes it 1,000 times harder to deal with.
Keep the faith. Keep plugging away, find quiet places to study. Look forward to the day this is behind you.
When my daughter had roommate issues, she studied at the park, the library and coffee shops.
She had a great landlord that asked a policeman that rented a few doors down from her to make sure her ex boyfriend didn’t show up in her parking lot.
My daughter went through a few crappy roomies as well. One of them had a drug issue and had strange guys sleeping over. When one of the guys went into her room one night claiming that he accidentally opened her door, she had enough and broke her lease and moved.
I realize that you may not be able to do that. It’s not convenient.
My daughter was lucky and knew of another student who was looking for a new roommate and so she had a place to move into.
Life gets messy sometimes. It will work on your last nerve. I hope things start to look up for you soon.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
You are having an exigent circumstance, and can invite law enforcement into your home anytime. A person doing drugs will have drugs in their possession/home/car/purse at some time.
What is an example of an exigent circumstance?
An exigent circumstance, in the criminal procedure law of the United States, allows law enforcement, under certain circumstances, to enter a structure without a search warrant or, if they have a "knock and announce" warrant, without knocking and waiting for the owner's permission to enter.
Vs.
How Long Does it Take to Evict a Chicago Tenant? (Prior to Covid):
Chicago evictions have a reputation for taking forever, to the point where many landlords seek to avoid it at all costs, sometimes even choosing to tolerate tenants who are months behind in rent.
Unfortunately, the reputation of long Chicago evictions is at least somewhat earned. However, the earlier you start the process the sooner you can have your rental unit back, and using a Chicago Eviction attorney to navigate the process can make it go as fast as possible.
Generally speaking, the earliest you can expect to physically evict a tenant out of your unit is around 2 months from the date you give the tenant notice of his/her violation, but this largely depends on several circumstances.
When I had experienced a similar situation in my life,
I went to the instructor and explained how I could not think straight with what was happening at home. He gave me an extension to complete my final and turn it in. I was older than the average college student at the time.
Another few times, I recall asking my brother to help me in a very difficult situation. He was reluctant, but did, twice. It seems to have involved other people on drugs.
I never needed to ask an attorney to help me evict someone. But I always complied with the law.
Good suggestions. Unfortunately, the psychiatric holds aren’t all that long.
It’s going to be a tough fight for Ali.
I’m hoping that she lands with the best judge for her situation.
Having the right judge makes all the difference in the world!
Still, I would be concerned about how Covid is effecting convictions. This is a challenge for Ali.
So sad.
When I was taking my finals in college, I had to go to a motel to study those last few days.
I just could not do husband care, cooking, etc. AND my studies. I went home in the daytime when no one was there to check on things/only when I had a break.
Is the library open in your area?
The Moratorium on evictions does not supercede law enforcement from intervening in criminal activities.
You perceive a real threat to your safety.
When you are ready, search "How to legally remove a drug addict from your home."
The advice I have read says to consult law enforcement.
Additionally, when tenant is at her craziest behavior, she can be placed on a psychiatric hold by calling 911 out of concern for her welfare and for your safety. Ideally, then you can ask a judge to not have her returned to your home. So many ways to deal with the problem. When you are ready.
In the meantime, she can be robbing you blind coming in and out all night. Theft is also a criminal offense.
If faced with this, and having a vacant room available, I would rent to a big guy with private investigative experience or law enforcement.
My ad would look like this:
Room available for 30 days to an individual preferred to have law enforcement experience.
Or something like that.
I’m so sorry that the eviction plan was squashed.
Go for the restraining order and hope to get a sympathetic judge.
My daughter went through getting a restraining order while she was in college for an ex boyfriend attending the same university.
It’s tough to get a restraining order. Thank God she had proof of everything. This monster went after my daughter and also her toy poodle. He ended up blinding the dog. It was awful!
He even tried to kill himself and blame it on her because she broke up with him! The police took him to a mental institution.
She got the restraining order, even though his attorney tried everything under the sun to discredit her.
My daughter had an excellent attorney who had been through her own abuse in the past.
Without proof, you don’t have a shot in h*ll of getting one.
Best of luck to you. Document everything! Have witnesses on hand to verify facts.
💞🧸️🆘🧸️💞
She advised filing for a temporary restraining order. I have evidence, but not sure it will meet whatever burden the judge wants. But... I will try this. Attorney gave me some tips.
I looked at front door cam and she's been up all night, in and out of the house... like usual. And... I just have to get my school work done and turned in, in spite of the upset. Time for big girl pants. I'm trying.
I'm just hoping she gets it and agrees to move out on her own, and I don't have to get a lawyer involved. I tried calling a couple today but was asked to leave messages for them so didn't pursue that for now.
My stress levels are redlining. I'm shaking at times and can't think. On the plus side, I had my virtual Psych appointment this morning and I can start the mood stabilizer again. Fingers crossed it helps balance the stress.
I need a hug. 😬
I'm considering right now that getting all roommates out would be for the best. But then again, as much as I wouldn't want to subject anyone else to this chaos, having another person here during this time would be reassuring. :-/ I'm lost on what to do. I'll contact a lawyer tomorrow.
The last gal (E) who lived here had also observed and commented on N's behavior, and while E never said she moved out because of N, she gave her notice and commented on all of N's craziness on the same day, in the same text message, and moved out after being here for a year. E was great. People like E are great and it's nice to have their company. N is... something else.
I'm so glad you have good news to share! :-) Babies and marriages are the best parts of life, I'm convinced.
We had double good news this evening. Our oldest so and DIL are expecting another baby. They’ll have two really close in age.But that’s what they wanted. And bigger news our youngest son is getting married. Small wedding in April. She is very nice.
After losing yet another set of keys in the few hours she was home (3rd set/time, and she moved in mid-January), and lighting cigarettes off the stove in the kitchen when she knows she isn't supposed to smoke in the place, I figured it was good to make sure I have documented and redocumented the 30 day notice I gave her on March 19th. I did it as kindly and gently as I could, by text. She blew up and ranted and yelled (at me but also at no one in particular) for the better part of an hour while going up and down community stairs, outside on front porch, and wouldn't let me do my homework in peace in the shared middle room. I'm sure my neighbors are concerned. She kept yelling at me to "go to your room," and yelling that I can't evict her and she won't leave.
Ok, so I did go to my room, and things have quieted down. But this is unlike anything I've faced in a long time, if ever. I took some video on my phone of her ranting around, and there is some more on the front Ring doorbell. I don't think any of this is actionable by police. I texted a CPD friend with questions.
I am beyond upset. I have a pysch appointment at 10am to try to get medication to balance things out but I'm feeling overwhelmed with the stress at times... like today... just a little bit ago... and I can't believe this woman has zero criminal history, but she did/does when I researched it. People are supposed to be coming tomorrow, and this week, to see the open bedroom and I just...
This is the 2nd roommate that I let move in here when there were emotional red flags for me and who proved to be a problem, but nothing on paper or during the interview/walkthrough to indicate there would be this level of issues. I feel like trusting my feelings and acting on them is such a hard area for me, and I think it directly relates to stress and my childhood.
I'm not in crisis. But I'm hurting a lot. I have to finish my homework somehow now but thankfully I got much of it done before she came home.
Go for it if you so desire!
I have a friend that told her three children after paying for their education in private universities that it was finally her turn to follow her dreams.
My friend had two great loves in life, one was literature, the other was art. She either had her head in a book or a paint brush in her hand!
When she was young she ended up getting her masters in library science because she felt that she would always find work. She was the head librarian for many years.
She never stopped painting, or doing her pottery. She is an incredible artist and exhibited many works but was always sad that she didn’t follow her first love and acquire her art degree.
When she finally got her art degree from Tulane she was over the moon happy. She was just past 60 years old. I was thrilled for her!
My university has my degree plan online and you bet it is encouraging to look at it and think that in just 13 months, I will complete my BS. Not only that but this current term is the only one where I have to take 3 classes and then the rest will be 2 - 10week classes at a time.
I want to do a few days of vacay, or staycay, during the week break when my class is over but I keep realizing how many small things have piled up. However, I am learning that if it's not critical stuff, then it's just got to wait. The cat is always grimey; his bath can wait another week or two. 😸 He otherwise seems fine but he's a dirty, dirty boy. And etc., and etc., and etc., with taxes, FAFSA, and roommate listings. Putting everything I need to get done outside of school stuff in a comprehensive list and prioritizing it could help keep me from stressing out about other life responsibilities.
Lists. Schedules. EXERCISE to burn off agitation and gain mental clarity.
These things could help me manage a lot better while I'm going to school full time and working.
I just remembered that there are popsicles in the freezer that I never eat. I'm going to treat myself a little early with one since I've been working so hard this term. Big (((((hugs))))), I so appreciate being talked back towards sanity lol. It's a tough time but I *will* get through it.