Countrymouse Posted November 2018
On My Mind
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Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.
I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.
My FIL let his caregivers go yesterday. We had 2 wonderful ladies that each came 1 afternoon a week to do laundry, light housekeeping, errands and cook with him. He decided he does not "need all that" and can suffice with just hiring a housekeeper. Husband and I had a deep discussion with him, letting him know the caregivers were licensed, bonded and trained in handling biohazard waste (he's on chemo and has incontinence). Housekeepers may or may not be licensed and bonded, and many that I tried earlier this year declined our home because of his chemotherapy status. Its too risky. But somehow, he found one willing. I had to cancel my volunteer hours at my kids' school tomorrow so that i can be sure to be home when his new hired housekeeper arrives to make sure she is licensed and bonded, and aware that he is on chemo ( I don't trust he told her). I'm beside myself. The caregivers were amazing. They were so so good to him. I know that housekeepers won't do the shopping, or cooking with him, or give him rides. This will fall on me again. My husband and I are in the busy stage of life, with 3 kids in four sports. We are gone most of every day, and almost every week night til 9ish, and most weekends for tournaments and games. I had peace of mind knowing the caregiving company had him covered two days a week. Now I feel hopeless and unheard.
I hope you don’t get sick .. 🤞🏻🤞🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Just to let all know, the government passing out free tests again, four of them. Keep them around so you don't have to expose others to Covid.
I got the new booster and didn't even as if Moderna or Pfizer, but sure did react one full day with chills, exhaustion. Didn't get flu shot with it as had that the week before without reaction.
Update us Nacy.
Oh boy . If she coughs a lot that’s not going to make her back feel better .
Be careful also if your loved one is on one of the new generation of blood thinners. They can raise the level exponentially. Happened to my SIL after a blood clot to the lung and being put on these blood thinners. Oddly, when his PSA skyrocketed he said "Any chance this is my new med" and his doc said NOPE. And sure enough when we looked it up it is common.
I will believe with you that the PSA will be a big fat goose egg in March.
So glad it is done. Inspection part was the worse for me, nerve racking as one never knows. It took 4 hours to sell and 10 days to wait for inspection results!
And about R, that is excellent news!
Thanks . You are right, MIL is never wrong in her eyes , she even complained that the policeman was talking to the other driver more than he did to her . That’s because her account , which I didn’t write all of it here, is so ridiculous .
Secrets abound in dysfun fams. Glad you now officially know about the accident. Mil is hardly a good judge of her own driving skills. Of course, nothing is her fault -never was, never will be. 🙄
When it comes to the inspection report, well I did ask for a price reduction when the inspector revealed that the shingles needed replacing and the seller agreed, so it never hurts to ask. I think with house inspections everything depends on their integrity and competence, but on the whole they are a scam designed to make a middleman money.
However, I am left with a bad taste in my mouth about the sale and need to vent. After an unacceptable low ball offer, the buyer came up to a low reasonable amount, then asked for a fair amount off due to the property report.
Well, that was something else - basically dishonest. Never seen anything like it. There were issues where there had never been issues in the house before - pages and pages of them. The most ridiculous being that there wasn't a door closer on the door between the house and the garage and that someone qualified should be hired to install a door closer. The most dishonest being that one of the furnaces and the air conditioning weren't working. My realtor went to the house that evening and found they were working fine. It went on and on...Had it been reasonable I would have met them half way.
So I decided not to grace this with an answer. My realtor had received a call that day from a prospective buyer who definitely wanted it and offered a much better price. So I stayed firm and at the very last minute the original prospective buyers decided to go with it. It would have been nice to get more for the house, but it's sold which is the main thing and they will take the contents which helps us a lot.
Having someone willing to pay a better price has made me feel better about the whole thing, after that disaster of a property report. It was obviously designed to downgrade the property so I would take $$$$ off. That's not the purpose of a property report!
It's all coming to an end, thank goodness. I'll be so glad when it is completely over.
Also on my mind today, R went in for a prostate follow up and his PSA numbers are well down. His dr decided on another 6 months of hormone therapy and then we will see in March whether to continue with it. That's good news. Only better would be that the PSA is at zero and that's what we are praying for for March. He has managed the side effects well and is getting his energy back after that and the concussion. However, I will say at times he looks as if he has aged some - not surprising. But he is a survivor and on his good days he looks his usual self. 😊
My 87 yo MIL , very frail , kept her recent fender bender from us until she found out my BIL had told my DH .
We hadn’t heard from her for a while , just like when a kid is too quiet and you go searching for them in the house to see what they are up to .
So DH called . She volunteered telling DH about her accident , DH just listened , didn’t say anything and she just kept digging the hole deeper . She had a Stop sign , ( so she did not have right of way ) but says it wasn’t her fault because the other guy “ must have been flying “ . Then she proceeded to say if she thought she couldn’t drive she would stop , however she “ thinks she can still drive “.
She has other options , she lives in a very active condo where younger retirees drive the older ones for a fee . We are supposed to see her Saturday to talk to her but now I’m waiting to hear about funeral plans for my friend .
One of my best friends 66 yo died last night of cancer . She did not get to have a nice retirement like my MIL did .
doggiemom - while I am sorry about your family's problems, I'm glad your mom is going. From what you said earlier, having her with you wasn't working that well. As we all get older, health problems crop up more and more. That's life. Try to focus on the good stuff in your life and build on that.
You didn’t sound insensitive. I just happen to think people may know intellectually that death is near but emotionally, it is still a surprise, a shock, not expected. Soon perhaps but not today.
My DH aunt will be 98 in a few weeks. She could live a long long time or die tonight. If she passed tonight I will be shocked. She doesn’t have the type of health issues that many die from without wasting away. So she could live a long time. But my goodness 98. How could I be surprised. I have to laugh at myself. As odd as it might seem to say, I’m not ready.
I remember watching my parents when they received news of a death. A startled reaction is what comes to mind.
I think we are in denial about a lot of things. Like your friend who smoked. My SIL smokes. She has so many health problems and she still smokes. It’s like she must think she is exempt. Yet we do hear of people who get a diagnosis of a serious illness and they stop that day!
We know intellectually that we will die, sometimes we wish we would die such as in severe pain or misery but mostly I think it is, Nay, not today. after all if you woke up everyday for 90 yrs you would probably expect to wake up tomorrow too. And if not, if they expected to die any minute, then somebody on aging care would be saying, my mom is so annoying, she wakes up everyday and wonders why she is still here. 🤔🙄🤭
Ali: Thank you, also.
No matter how prepared we are. It’s still a shock.
Golden, congrats on selling the house. That's a big step. I hope the specialists have some insight into what's causing R's dizziness.
Nacy, dying is the ultimate loss of control... if you think about it like that... makes some sense to me, somehow.
Llama, so glad you're home. (((hugs)))
"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas)
I hate balance issue stuff. My brother's was awful and mine is awful as well. The more they try to work with you and assess the slower they make you go and the worse the balance until you feel a feather in the wind. Such an odd brain thing. To be more weight that ever I was at 140 or so, and still feeling lighter as I fly around on the buses as they start and stop. Eye things ADD to it as my right eye is wonky and my brain adjusting right and left is ridiculous to the extent my eye exams are always "Gee, your eyes are so much worse this year" and then a year later "Wow, so much better than last year!" Right! Aging is a nightmare and I've no courage for it.
Happy that the llamalover is back with us. Wishing need would show her face because I can't relax unless she does.
And on we go.
So glad for you.
All went well even if it took some months
So good they take furniture.
Hope R will see specialists soon and improve some or little more every day.
Glad the house is settled .
Sorry about R’s persistent symptoms .
Make sure he drinks enough . Dehydration can make those symptoms more bothersome .
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I've already sent the necessary documents to the lawyer. Possession day is Oct 7th. They will take all the furniture that is left in the house which is a great blessing. We were going to drive up to take the plants etc, but I am thinking I will leave the plants and get someone to bring down the last few things which are not much (a few pictures on the walls). I can send the keys I have up the my realtor. Most of them are already in the house.
R had his assessment and they were concerned about his eyes and balance so he needs to see some specialists - eyes, head and neck injuries, maybe more. It's just over 2 months from the accident and his eye issues and dizziness are still there to some extent. He functions very well, has no problems when sitting down, or on the computer unless he stays on it too long, but does have them when standing and walking at times (like down stairs) though not that I notice around the condo or when we are out walking.
Anyhoo - thank goodness the house is sold and I don't have to keep paying those bills and getting people to look after it, The strange thing was that we got a much higher offer yesterday, but it was too late. I had already signed and the buyers met the conditions.
Such a busy time for both of us!!!