Countrymouse Posted November 2018
On My Mind
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Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.
I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.
Are these young first time buyers ?
Maybe they are excited , and assume you’d like to see how they care for the home .
Cwillie I caved in. The heat is on. 😂
First of all I think a lot of personal contact is a bad idea. I HAVE seen people become friends and then have someone say "I found woodrot under the rug! You didn't disclose that!" and it turn into a broo-haha. I don't think that will happen here and she is likely a lovely woman.
I would tell her simply that you appreciate the request (send a private message as you can), but that you need for now to move on and move away from a home that while you had many many joyous times, now makes you know the losses that come to us. That you will entrust its wonder and beauty to them and hope they have as many lovely times, but wish to avoid any hurt as you move on to this new adventure for yourself."
I would just think that best all around. And really, it is, if nicely said, SO understandable. We built a little home in the country, a glass house in which we watched deer and fox play in the hedgerow. It was a retirement thing we always wanted to do, and did and had 15+ years of complete joy. But I almost cannot bear to see it now, to be honest. Though I walk every granite outcropping through every oak and pine on all 6 acres of it; I know it to my soul. It's mine. But no longer mine, if you get my meaning. In the hands now of a Yosemite Park Ranger. He will get so much love of it. He sent a beautiful let I treasure about his kitties laying looking out all that glass on the warmed floors in front of the wood stove. That's good enough. Now we all move on.
Ana - that's very interesting and lovely that it worked out for both sides. I don't see any way that could possibly happen here, and honestly, I don't want it to. I have come away with a few new friendships through the selling process but that's another story. I will respond nicely, but discourage further contact. Honest and direct - I think I can do that!
nacy - You are right. I don't want to see photos of the changes that, inevitably, they will make. I don't need that. I have no problem ignoring requests or even blocking people on facebook - like those older military gentlemen who are widowed and write flowery phrases lol. I don't see a connection with the new owners being a good thing for me.
And if you ask me she might get a bit braggy, like we did this we did that , change things you don't wish to know. You want to keep the memories of your old house exactly the way it is.
Let the past be the past and keep your fond memories.
That's why I don't do Facebook, I would have a hard time ignoring a friend request, or unfriending someone.
I’ve been on the other side of this scenario. The couple who downsized stayed in the community and sometimes asked to bring family from overseas to see our house. (built it themselves - funky design) I cringed because I am (ahem) not known for my housekeeping. But she and her husband became our friends - like loving parents to us. Our kids referred to them as grandparents.
Having said that, I’m not sure I’d want to see someone else here in our beloved home. Be honest and direct.
Perhaps you could say that leaving the family homestead is difficult but it was necessary , and that you are glad she will be taking care of it , but you need to leave it behind you to adjust to downsizing . Wish her well .
I don't know where to put this, but feedback would be welcome.
The wife of the new owner of my old house have given me a friend request on facebook. Her page shows lots of pics of them outside the house with a sold sign. This is not something I want to see. That chapter is closed in my life and I want to move forward. Any thoughts?
Alva - I think a number of us are wondering about Eva. I'm sure she will update us at some point. Need will turn up again when/If she is ready.
Way - so sorry to hear about your sister. She's really having a hard time right now. You are getting loss after loss. (((((hugs)))
Llama - yes, indeed. Hope you and hub are doing ok, after that last episode of yours.
Happy to hear your house sale is settled and you are enjoying your new home !!
Thanks , yes we can not change MIL . Right now my mind is on my sister . My nephew ( her son) was just about to start touring AL for her and she fell and broke her hip the other night . She had surgery yesterday . She will be headed to rehab at some point .
One day at a time to see what happens . I’m driving out to see her on Sunday .
Good news on the home. Finally off your plate.
Worried about Evamar and always worry when I hear nothing.
At this point I am beyond worry about needhelp; if anyone EVER hears from her and knows she is OK I would appreciate knowing this. It is now way too long.
Well, it's done and dusted. The house is officially out of my hands and that is a great relief. I had mentioned that now the kids wouldn't have to deal with it, but the main reason for moving is that the condo is a better choice for me/us.
I like this style of living - enough room but not too much, people to get to know and helpful neighbours, but privacy if you want it. Underground parking. Fire in the fireplace without having to cut wood. Lower costs of living. Outside work done by someone else. We still have a view of trees and sounds of wildlife. A sense of security in the building...
These things are good as you age.
And we still have access to the cottage lot for growing things and to R's friends' farms. Love visiting them. I went the other day to B's farm and took photos and will go back. It's so peaceful. I feel blessed.
What's happening?
My brother in law, who also had Parkinson's, had very severe pain, often when lying down at night but also in the day time.
Thanks. You could be right. I will definitely ask about it.
Yikes. Yikes. This is new for him I am assuming and must be quite frightening. Would be for me. I will hope to hear better news tomorrow. Your system has issues. Lordy, so does OURS. I am wishing you so much luck, Eva
Pain in arm, neck, back and down, almost everywhere.
This is our health system in Canada, they are very good if there is emergent need, but there is no one bed available to transfer him.
So in emergency they only control pain, did some testing, all good. But no scans or other testing yet.
It is exhausting, at least pain is under control as hubby was moving and walking quite well.
Maybe will find out more tomorrow. I have a little more hope at least his doctor appeared who will take care of him going forward.
They need to find what is causing that pain, hoping they don’t send him home with prescriptions for various pain killers. I don’t think they will as with PD they need to make sure he is back to baseline to be safely discharged. That they take seriously in knowing caregiver cannot be overwhelmed, yesterday they practically kicked me out to go take care of myself.
Excellent nursing staff, and they really care. It is the system that is not working, people do excellent job amongst all that chaos.
Has he had scans of the area in pain?
I cannot believe you are not admitted and he's still in ER. Call on Social Services tomorrow; be certain this is well covered.
Yikes I am so sorry about this and am thinking you must be exhausted. I checked in to night just to see how things are with you. Please take care. Your poor hubby!
No changes or plan as hubby is still in emergency.
Yesterday pain was worse and the gave him Seroquel for agitation and anxiety and enough painkillers that he has less pain, but no idea what is causing it.
Maybe tomorrow they will transfer him.