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Way, I can guess, but could you elaborate on the “totally different dynamic” for taking care of strangers versus family members?
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Need ,

I worked with the elderly for 20 plus years before I switched to kids.
I loved it. It was rewarding to keep them comfortable , some of them were very enjoyable to be around , they would tell interesting stories . Of course it’s sad as well, and some were very grouchy . But I went home and it was over for the day . After 20 plus years I did need a change and I made that change , worked in schools .

After taking care of difficult elderly family members it has proven to be a totally different dynamic then taking care of strangers .
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Way.

Plus, younger people don’t want to live like they are in their 80’s, 90’s and 100’s!

Some elderly people aren’t happy unless people do everything they demand from them.

When people spend all of their time and energy on their elderly family members, they don’t have time to spend with friends their own age.

The stress causes caregivers to end up feeling like they are 100 years old!
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We did not make old people old , but some act like we did .
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I dreamt me and my mom were out of town and we, unintentionally, drove to a hospital. She was sitting in the car and told me she was feeling faint and felt she was about to have a heart attack. I ran into the hospital to get a wheelchair, even though she relies on one and would have it with her in real life.

I really, really hope the heart attack portion doesn't come true and it was all just a wild dream. Heart attacks run in her family and she's lost loved one to those. She lost other relatives to strokes.
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A prodromal symptom of a melt down or panic anxiety attack can be a brief euphoric mood.
We can plan for this reaction ahead of time by not being caught off guard, decreasing stress, and getting more rest. Or even taking meds ahead of time.

For the caregivers and the patients.


Moon: 93.9%
Waxing Gibbous
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Good luck this weekend, Need.
Personally I LOVE the stories. It makes your brother real for me.
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Thanks for your kind words, Bounce.
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The world is in shock newbiewife. But for me it's become like hearing that your addict relative has ODed. Again.
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I live in Portland, Maine and the state is in shock over the shootings. Many schools are closed, even far from the affected community, as are the campuses of the University of Maine system. There's been no official news since last night, with the next update expected at 10:30am eastern time. We don't even know the exact number killed and wounded, but last we heard it was 15-20 killed, at several different locations. The shooter's car was found abandoned in a community neighboring Lewiston, where the shootings happened, and so far as we know he's still on the loose. Maine has I think the lowest crime rate in the country, but does have one of the highest rates of gun ownership per capita in the U.S. There's a long hunting tradition here.
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Llama - Send is playing tricks on us and changing her avatar when we are asleep.
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Send: Your avatar is unchanged. What photo?
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Need: Hugs for you to get through your brother's Celebration of Life.
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Goodnight 🌙 💤 all! I’m tired. Going to bed.
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Way,

The shootings turn my stomach. It’s horrible.
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Those poor souls in Maine

“ If I had my way they’d take metal altogether out of this world . Every blade , every gun “ .

Cold Mountain .

Every shooting makes me think of this line .
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Great!
Grand!
Thanks Bounce and Need.
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Bounce, in Lewiston, Maine, I believe. Big state.
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Thanks so much, Send.
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Need,
May the Lord lift you up as you attend your brother's memorial
celebration this weekend.
So sorry for your loss. 🕯
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Thanks, Way.

My SIL planned everything with my nephews. I’m sure it will be nice even though it’s a sad reason to have a gathering.

He had faith but didn’t want a religious service. He wasn’t a guy who believed in any particular doctrine. So, we will gather to celebrate his life.

I know that music is planned as a tribute to him. My brother was one of the best guitarists that I know. He was friends with many other musicians. He loved having a studio in his house with tons of instruments. He played piano too.

Playing music was the only time that I saw him in total peace without thinking of his heart issues. I will miss hearing him play.

Let me tell you how determined that he was to play the guitar as a kid.

Money was tight and daddy said that a guitar wasn’t in the budget at that time, so my brother built his first guitar in a wood shop class at school.

When my mom saw that he built a guitar, she said to my dad, “We will cut back wherever we need to so that he can take lessons.

He played in several bands throughout his life. He taught music for years as well. My nephews play music, along with great nieces, great nephews, aunts, uncles and cousins.

One of my great nieces has played her violin all over the world. My brother was so proud of his grandchildren.

My niece hasn’t even finished college yet and is writing film scores and using the money towards her education.

The kid would be in the backseat of my car when she was 8 or 9 and when I asked her why she was so quiet, she would say, I am writing a song.

I guess that I am reminiscing some. I have probably bored you to death. Sorry, so many memories in my head at this time. I’m still in a little bit of disbelief that he is gone.
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Need

((((Hugs))))
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My brother’s Celebration of Life is this weekend. I am sure that it will be filled with many emotions and memories for me.
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Good to hear from you, Ali. Glad to hear that you’re doing well.
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Hey all. Just a drive-by "I love you and thank you." I stay very busy these days. I hope everyone is well. x

Just needed to share with y'all that I need no other moment of validation for the rest of my life. lol I've gotten it all in the past week. I figured out a way to get into behavioral gerontology and my mom just apologized for everything terrible that happened during caregiving. I have a lot of work to do yet on the new career path, but I feel really lucky and grateful in this moment.

CW, you helped spur ideas when you mentioned that behavior skills training is needed in caregivers/CNAs. I don't think you said it quite like that, but it's true. Beyond in-house behavior services for facilities, behavior skills training is a growing area for gerontology/agency caregivers and I figured out this week how to get my master's supervision hours with elderly populations. :) I'm very happy. I'll come back down to earth real soon because I have a 10-page paper to write by next week. Ugh.

I'm linking the behavior gerontology Facebook page if anyone's curious to follow it. It's not a big part of the behavior services field, but it's growing. https://www.facebook.com/behavioralgerontology
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Need: You're welcome.
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Thanks, Llama.
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cw and Need: So sorry for your losses.
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cw,

So true.

My mom died in 2021. Sometimes, it seems forever ago and other times it seems like yesterday.

I turn 68 this month. I feel like the older I get the faster time goes.

Remember when we were kids, we couldn’t wait to grow up! Time seemed to move slowly then.
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It's five years since mom died - Oct 19, 2018. In some ways it seems like a lifetime ago.
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