
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
Glad to report that my twisted and DN havent done anything since my mother has been in Nursing home.
I still struggle with anxiety and depression but thankful I have some peace of mind.
My mother is progressing well. I still break down at times I still cry when I come and leave. I think my programing makes this even more difficult emotionally. One good thing is you have to show negative C result each visit to nursing home and staff gets swabbed weekly. I like my mothers roommate. One visit she told my I was the only one who visits and it messed me up. I just assumed differently and it broke another piece of my heart. I can see someone visits but I dont think regularly and I really struggle not to think about them. Although no one has reason to come down I have started leaving more personal things hidden which is more convenient. I fear getting comfortable and it's sad to even consider someone sabotaging my things but it's a reality and wont go away.
Ali I can truly relate to your posts and you are an inspiration.
Golden, BarB, BOOK, GERsh, Panz, Sharon it felt great to see you all holding it down. I dont want to confuse things so I will refrain from personal comments. I really love the daughter in love instead of law. That was awesome. I stay in prayer. Trying to address my dysfunctions and lack. Sometimes I feel like I am loosing it. Cant find something, panic, get depressed I am so @$!. Then I find it. I had a run with misplacing bank cards which got scary.
Of course Easter rolled up and I was so depressed. I dont know why I remember every loved and how much I miss them not to.mention Anniversarys. So for a minute I was feeling weird about why in the world was I so depressed.
Aanyways, Ray's of love light and healing to us all.
Miss you all so wonderful to check in to see the wonderful folk holding it down. I felt like I had come home the home in my mind where love is abundant and unconditional.
Ttwisted and her son seem to have left me alone. I cant put down my guard I have seen and felt the capacity. I know it will never leave me. I wish I didnt dwell on things or even remember. It stresses me to get flash back of their or my mother's maleficence toward me.
I still struggle with my dysfunctions the pain the misery.
Golden, that post about the letters was off the chain.
Ali as usual I can truly relate to your posts. You are an inspiration.
Barb, Gersh, Church. Panz, Sharon it was wonderful to see you all. All of you are so wonderful so good to see the goodness at work.
Btwy I love the daughter in love instead of law!
I watched the series the thing about pam. A true narcissist at work.
I am still working hard at my personal dysfunction trying to get better in every essence. Still lonely still in prayer, still a cry baby still blessed.
Rsays of love light and healing to us all.
Don't be a stranger Duck!
Ida, welcome.
I will say to both of you YOU matter too!!
You all are always in my heart. Something that practically rescued me for the depths of turmoil I will never forget. Every last post reflect some part of my thinking. The guidance the ugly truths helped me get hear. It wonderful to hear or rather see those same voices resonating. Still wonderful loving spirits giving real and hard love through sharing and advice.
I have to get a new computer even the phones are a thing up. Waiting on knew one.
Oh oh! The last days of ptolemy grey was an awesome series related to dementia written by author richard Moseley who wrote devil in a blue dress. He says he usedhis experience with his mother when she had dementia.
Rsays ofvlovevpeace and healing
I live two houses up from my dad's. I am always going down there that I have had to get a pedometer installed on my phone. LOL. Just so I can show my husband I do a lot of walking, when he tells me I need to walk more. LOL. My dad is still able to bath himself and do laundry and fix himself something to eat. He does not use the stove or oven, NO! Just to make that clear. He can use the microwave to reheat something I cook. Or a sandwich if he wants it. But I take care of his meds, the houses, bill pay, cooking, rental properties and things he wants or needs done. I also run a business out of my home, do my own bills, and run my own household.
By the end of the day, I am exhausted. I just needed to vent!! I had a wonderful group of ladies and gentlemen that lifted me up and let me vent when I need all those years ago on here!!! Caregiving in never easy!! I commend anyone who is a caregiver!!!
Sorry you are having such a rough time
It's what a lot of us are stuck with though.
I've come to believe that it doesn't matter how I'm doing. Looking at Mom's health vs. mine, I expect she will outlive me by a few years. The job is what matters, and if it gets to a point where I can't, for whatever reason, continue to provide adequate care on my own, I'll find a substitute. Mom says she can't accept a stranger in her house, but she'll just have to deal with it.
“I've come to believe that it doesn't matter how I'm doing.”
Nooooooo.
HUG.
Maybe you mean: you’ve come to believe that’s what others believe about you?
YOU know how you’re doing matters. Often, only we can stand up for ourselves. No one else will do it; and some will exploit/take advantage of a kind heart; and some want to intentionally destroy someone else’s life.
Referring back to the title of the OP's question: we're talking about dysfunctional families. It isn't about what I believe. My parents and I haven't been on good terms for years. And of course, their families are on their side, not mine. So, it's all of them against me.
Anyway, I may be alone in this mess, but at least I know there are other caregivers out there in exactly the same position!
I fully empathize, and it’s a terrible situation. I only wanted to try to help you. HUG. I really hope things get better for you.
Poodle