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Sharyn, yes he droned on and on and on about salvation. That's like preaching to the choir. How cold is it there?
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Brandy, I am laughing because my cold weather will make you laugh at me for complaining. It will be a low of 24 degrees tonight, a high tomorrow of 44!! Nothing like being below zero. So go ahead and laugh at me but to us it is coolllddd!! LOL!!
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cm - Fenton the dog - oh dear!!! I have collected some Christmas music on YouTube and play it on my computer when I cant find any I like on the boob tube. Love the St Paul's story.
Sharyn I am so sorry you are in this pain. I know 10 days of dry socket pain ground me down. Time to kick the pooch off - well gently move him. I will look for Celine. Re gifts I have resorted to money for a few years now - there are privileges to growing old. You are more resourceful than I.
brandy - brave of you to stay. I don't think I have ever been subjected to anything that bad, 20 below zero is bad - altogether too much stress. I stay home and watch services on TV. The last few years I worked I needed the down time on the weekends, and having left one church, could nor find one that was right for me. I know that is not the recommended attitude, but I did not seem to fit anywhere, I think God understands. I have contact with a northern ministry and the two ladies who run it are my "distance" pastors.
I hear you about going on about salvation - come to think of it I did attend a service like that and didn't go back. Stay warm!
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The ice worked, Yay!!! No cortisone shot and I am going back to work at 12:30 today. I will keep ice on it throughout the morning and again when I get home tonight.
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Yay, sharyn!!!!!!!
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Hi all,
Good morning....been way busy with the House issue past week, haven't had much time to check in, went back to where I wanted to start n read again what is up, before I post but since it is back at 4670ish It is too much for me right now especially with my reading issues....I have to have some queit time to do this and cant seem to find it.
So I wish everyone is coping well with their issues of the week, and past weeks and enjoying the highlites! I will have to at least check in everyday to keep up here so many wonderful people here and experiences being shared. I feel like I am am not supportive as I cannot keep up! but just know you all are in my thoughts and prayers and I appreciate that you are here!!
Well we are freezing as a great deal of you all are, record lows, and as they dropped to single digits here I cannot get the rest of the house warm, so we even more confined to this one bedroom for everything but toilet and boy is that a cold awaking in the middle of the night! and ice cold room and seat, I have to go at least 2-3 times!
So got to hash it out today with contractor as I finally got the check for repairs told him I had it and he send a new bid 2k higher instead of what he was supposed to do which was relook at the numbers as he was 1800 over insurance payout and we needed to justify why now we are 3800 over and no explanation to send in to get them to pay the extra this is so frustrating!!!
Temps will drop back down to a manageable situation by Wednes they are saying if we can get back into 40's day n mid 30's night the space heater will warm the rest of the house to a tolerable 60ish right now heater full blast and cant get house above 50 not even gonna try. our bedroom is doing well at high 60's if I keep all the doors and windows shut/covered! Closed in feeling tho!

anyway that is my issue for the week....get this darn bid straightened out and work started! Ughhhh!
Well like I said, hope everyone is doing well and making the best of it!
Love to you all!
Peace
Juju!
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The snow we got Friday is beautiful tho.... not often we have snow maybe once or twice a year. It is still here as it has not been warm enuf to melt and the Jack Russell Terrier absolutely loves it. He races around and digs in it, so cute, his face comes up covered in flakes and he is happy boy! then comes in and jump in a lap or to warm up!
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ju -good to see you posting. I am so sorry that you are so cold -that is terrible, and also that the contractor upped his bid. All of this just puts off getting the work done and you need it done!!! Prayers for it to work out quickly.
Glad you and the pup enjoy the snow. We have it for 5 months - too much. (((((((((hugs))))))))))
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You have no idea how hard it is to use ice packs when it is so cold. I am having some pain tonight even after 3 hours of ice. I maystill have to ho back to the Dr..xrays to determine more of what is going on.

Goodnight...stay warm.
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I copied some of your recommendations about some stuff to Google...after I do father's pamper.

I wanted to watch all of Katy Perry's Roar contest. I liked 2 but the one that really touched my heart was NOT part of the contest. This one hits close to home because 1 person dies every 2-3 days here on island. We have a very very high rate of cancer - could be the air (they did test bomb on Bikini Island and the radiation did reach here), or the water (military does have a habit of burying their containers of chemicals deep underground). Anyway, my 10 year old niece (my oldest sister's grandchild) died of cancer 5 years ago, and my dad's younger brother died of cancer just this past June. My first cousin (mom's brother's daughter) is currently going thru cancer treatment.

If you care to watch the video, please google:
Children's Hospital Dartmouth-Hitchcock Performs Katy Perry's Roar

Sharyn, I hope it's not bad news. Xrays sound like a good plan. Best to find the cause and not just treat the symptom.
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Book,
the winner of the Katy Perry concert was a high school very near here. That was a very exciting time for that school. I almost anticipated the news channels to cover it live. So much hype around that event,without it I wouldn't have even been aware of the contest. Just an old foggie here.
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(((((((((((((((Sharyn))))))))))))) the ice packs must be pretty uncomfortable. Hope you can get this sorted out soon.

Who is Katy Perry? Not really - but you know you are over 70 when you aren't a follower of Justin Bieber and Katy Perry, and you still look for the Perry Como special at Christmas. ;p I am an older foggie.

Book sorry about the cancers in your family and on the island. Makes you wonder...

Well, we are onto the next phase - sis has found out that I told the ALF mother wants to go into that I do not allow it. What she doesn't know that it is not my decision, but the decision of our health care system for every unit at any level of care in that particular facility, and that mother does not meet the criteria and that those cannot be changed on demand. I have a call into mother's case manager to double confirm that.

Even if mother was allowed in she would, at the very least, lose more independence, would be in with a group of people that are less functional than she is, and would have her meds handled for her, which she absolutely will not allow now. I called the sister ALF and they have a waiting list of about a year for the type of unit for which she is eligible. I talked to the current ALF director and they are dong their thing for a reassessment and he said that he would be happy to talk with mother's doctor about the concerns they have for mother, so I will put a call in there this morning. He also said that it would be advisable for me to talk to the director of any facility that mother was applying to and tell them her problems and ask if he feels they are equipped to deal with those problems.

Now I am gathering information and links to send to sis and the other family members I cced this summer about the levels of care and regulations in the heath care system, and also the effects of moving someone in mother's condition. If anyone has info about the effects of moving a paranoid senior whose short term memory is extremely short, pass it on to me. I know links aren't allowed here but there are ways around that,

Finding that the PTSD/anxiety of dysfunctional family origin is triggered by this. Need to practice stress relief and maybe make an appointment with my last counsellor. Cant hurt. I found myself greatly overreacting to something yesterday - thankfully I realised it before it went any further.

Took grandson Sean out for a birthday supper, then after I visited my son and dil to fill them in on the famdram. and ask for feedback, Dave gave me good advice to keep anything I send out to a few points put very concisely, as he has found when dealing with people like sis that they will take one item and fly with it ignoring everything else. I think I will run anything I write out past him before I send it.

Whew! This is a lot of work!

On the up side -my car is starting well with the trickle charger, What a relief. I am reliably mobile again! Now I need to get it in for an oil change. Booked for the paws this pm. and lunch with a friend tomorrow.

Have a great day everyone - and look after you!
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Joan it looks like things are getting into place-you have handled it very well-famdram is a good word.
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a few twists but it is turning out. Apparently I have put a halt to the process by telling the new ALF I did not agree to it. The manager has a policy not to proceed when there is a family whose members disagree. He doesn't even care who has the PD. Funny how things work out, One thing I have found out that concerns me is that there is no nurse for the independent living units for which mother is eligible. That makes me uncomfortable. The manager started sounding nervous when I mentioned mother had BPD and narcissism...He also said that sis and mother had some confusion. Yeah, sis hasn't done her homework and mother can't. Mother has "heard" it is "better". That is her whole basis for moving.
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Wow Emjo, thinking about if family members don't agree on placement an application will not be accepted. It makes a certain amount of sense, as I would think it makes their jobs easier. But, based on what I read on AC I'm surprised they have a wait list at all. But if you can get your loved one in there much of the family turmoil would make for a more pleasant place to live. ;-)
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I think have a policy of not accepting an application when family members to not agree is actually rather good. Providing caregiving under normal conditions is hard enough, but if the resident's family is disputing placement, I would think that it also affects the resident. Not having a nurse available is not a good thing even if it is independent living.
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I am worried about my husband. Since his mild stroke in September, he is sleeping much more than he normally did. He has always been a low energy person, takes naps on days off and dozes in front of the tv throughout the day. Now, he is sleeping when I come during my lunch break around 4:30 or 5:30 in the afternoon. He is sleeping when I get off work at 9:00 and continues to sleep until 11:00 or 11:30pm. I have read that sleeping is part of the recovery...does anyone know anything about this? I have only asked him once if he was feeling ok because he sleeps so much. What should I expect from him right now? Is this normal after a stroke? Part of me wants to confront him if there is something bothering him, what is going on, but I am keeping my mouth shut.
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Sharyn - after the concussion I had, I was more tired for a month at least. I know it is not the same as a stroke, but it is mild brain damage. I just did a little reading and tiredness after a stroke is very common and the degree of tiredness is not related to the severity of the stroke. So I guess it is normal.

According to another site, it may be able to be treated in various ways.

J Vasc Interv Neurol. 2008 April; 1(2): 63–64.

Post-stroke fatigue can be organic, psychological, emotional, or a combination of these. A precise diagnosis will aid in treatment planning for effective return to normal levels of activity. Depending on the cause of fatigue, a post-stroke patient may benefit from physical therapy, occupational therapy, anti-depressants, counseling, and careful attention to basic needs. However, patients and care-givers should be patient and recognize that a stroke victims may never fully recover their abilities and dealing with fatigue may be a long-term issue.

I know your husband had a mild stroke, but at least some of the above could apply. I think it would be good to have a follow up visit with the doc that treated him and see if they can figure out what is causing this and offer some treatment.
I wouldn't think that a confrontation of "What's going on? Why are yiou sleeping a lot?" would help. You don't want to get his BP up - lol - but maybe a sit down discussion and tell him you are concerned about him as since the stroke he has been sleeping more than usual, and that you would like him to check with the doc to see what is happening and if they can so anything about it.

((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) these things are worrying
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Sharynmarie, does your husband have any underlying disease, beside the stroke? I ask, because how much "shoving" you do needs to take account of it. In principle it will be a good thing if you can encourage him to get back to some kind of normal schedule/activity level, but it depends on what else is going on. I had a big fight with my SIL who wanted my mother dragged out of bed at 7:30 sharp willy-nilly and made to do her PT conscientiously; but for heaven's sake she has CHF, kidney disease and arthritis - it would have been plain cruel. (I won.)

You're right to be concerned, but I can tell you that my mother had two minor strokes in February, took AGES to get going again - she was sleeping up to 20 hours a day - and frightened the life out of me; but then did pick up again, gradually gradually. Gentle encouragement + seize the moment whenever he does want to do anything, would be my rule of thumb. And of course speak to his doctors if you continue to worry.
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glad - the manager said he didn't want someone moving in and then moving out in a month because of family issues. It does make sense. Not sure why you are surprised there is a wait list. Apparently these facilities are filling up, at least in our province, as the aged population grows. I think it must be happening everywhere. Mother was smart a number of years ago She toured facilities and put down a deposit and got on the wait list of the ones she most liked, so she was near or at the top of the list when she decided to move, She had all her marbles then - lost a few since.
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It certainly makes sense to me that the manager of an ALF would not want his company or his staff getting caught in crossfire. If all of the guidelines say that facilities should work with families for the benefit of the resident, what are they supposed to do if the family isn't working together to start with?

When we first put in an application for respite care at the only place I've seen so far that I'm happy with, we were eighth on the waiting list. Three months later, we're now second in line. Which I'd be glad about if it weren't for wondering what's happened to the others...
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Emjo-
Surprised, just my cynicism coming out this morning. Surprised because are there really any families that can work together?
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I'm sure I did hear of one, once… Maybe I was imagining it.
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Ya families always look so together on those sappy sitcoms!!! Real life, ugh!!
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Good Morning,
Just saying hi!

Sharyn, gosh yes I cant imagine ice packs in this cold weather! Hope your feeling better. I agree with the others gently talk with husband and do get a follow up with his doctor, gather a list of your questions and concerns as you think of them. I don't know much about strokes but as few have posted sounds like it is part of the process.

FamDram....I want a role on that sitcom!!!

Well stay warm, strong. and lovely as you all are!
Peace,
Juju
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Sharynmarie,

Brrrrrrh! You are one brave woman, icing your leg!
Yes, we're really feeling this cold snap, aren't we?
I've never lived in cold weather parts of the country, so I'm layered down over here.

I'm glad that you didn't have to resort to the cortisone shot, too.

You're in my thoughts,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Emjo,

This is a good idea you sending your sister and other family members the information about the levels of care your mom may be eligible for. Oh do I understand, this approach, especially given the kind of dysfunction we have going on namely with our sisters. I have done this over and over again regarding care for mom, about her eating plan. I figure that if they have it in black and white in front of them.....hopefully they'll read it. Well also at least for this moment,
it takes you out of the equation as in you telling her yourself.
I've resorted to using this kind of method. I know I've told you about my stubborn neighbor. Sometimes she'll get on the opposite side of any issue, I believe just to argue. Usually she does this with little information, at all! So I tell her, "Google itl.." HAAH!

It sounds as if the director of the ALF, is sensible. They probably can't become too involved if they sense there is discord in a family, then if they hear your mom has BPD, and is narcissistic maybe they don't want to get emotionally involved in some of that with any one patient. Certainly, I'm sure they want to know that a certain patient has certain issues and tendencies as it relates to their stay in the facility, but more than that it could be a privacy issue between family members?
I'm not exactly sure, but it did come to mind.

How great that G, offered to take you on a cruise.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Sharynmarie,

I have heard that stroke patients take awhile to either come back to their normal level of functioning. I've a friend who visited his mom, who lives out of state.
She'd had a stroke over a year ago. On the first visit about 5 mos. after, he clais he noticed his mother being somewhat w/brain fog. This last visit which is almost a 1.5 time line after the stroke, he said his mom had recovered considerably to see her regaining faculties he thought she'd lost.

Your husband is working, isn't he a full time job? I think that is amazing in and of itself. So possibly his body is just needing more down time to recuperate.
Be patient with him, try not to take a "confront," attitude with him. Sure you can express concern if you feel you should, but may get more cooperation out of him if you do this gently. Definitely, if you notice more lethargy, maybe he should see his doctor.

Your're both in my thoughts,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Thank You everyone!!

I haven't been nasty with him, but I admit there are times I have just rolled my eyes thinking how much sleep does he need. The more I am reading about it, and what everyone here is saying, it makes sense. He goes to the neurologist tomorrow. I will write it down for him to give to the dr. as I have to be at by 4pm. I do feel relieved after reading on the net and what you all are saying.

I hate to always bring bad news but............my brother and sil just found out this morning that sil's daughter now has colon cancer.My sil just fell apart, how much can they take with family getting cancer at such young ages. I am at a loss of words to comfort my brother and sil. Prayers would be appreciated!
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Sharynmarie,

I am so sorry about this news regarding your SIL's daughter.
This is what dad had in his later years.
Request definitely granted!

I understand what you must go through with your husband also, depending on how he's willing to communicate about changes he may be feeling, or just ignoring them it can be frustrating.

O.K., keep icing the leg, hope you feel better.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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