
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
Sharyn I am so sorry you are in this pain. I know 10 days of dry socket pain ground me down. Time to kick the pooch off - well gently move him. I will look for Celine. Re gifts I have resorted to money for a few years now - there are privileges to growing old. You are more resourceful than I.
brandy - brave of you to stay. I don't think I have ever been subjected to anything that bad, 20 below zero is bad - altogether too much stress. I stay home and watch services on TV. The last few years I worked I needed the down time on the weekends, and having left one church, could nor find one that was right for me. I know that is not the recommended attitude, but I did not seem to fit anywhere, I think God understands. I have contact with a northern ministry and the two ladies who run it are my "distance" pastors.
I hear you about going on about salvation - come to think of it I did attend a service like that and didn't go back. Stay warm!
Good morning....been way busy with the House issue past week, haven't had much time to check in, went back to where I wanted to start n read again what is up, before I post but since it is back at 4670ish It is too much for me right now especially with my reading issues....I have to have some queit time to do this and cant seem to find it.
So I wish everyone is coping well with their issues of the week, and past weeks and enjoying the highlites! I will have to at least check in everyday to keep up here so many wonderful people here and experiences being shared. I feel like I am am not supportive as I cannot keep up! but just know you all are in my thoughts and prayers and I appreciate that you are here!!
Well we are freezing as a great deal of you all are, record lows, and as they dropped to single digits here I cannot get the rest of the house warm, so we even more confined to this one bedroom for everything but toilet and boy is that a cold awaking in the middle of the night! and ice cold room and seat, I have to go at least 2-3 times!
So got to hash it out today with contractor as I finally got the check for repairs told him I had it and he send a new bid 2k higher instead of what he was supposed to do which was relook at the numbers as he was 1800 over insurance payout and we needed to justify why now we are 3800 over and no explanation to send in to get them to pay the extra this is so frustrating!!!
Temps will drop back down to a manageable situation by Wednes they are saying if we can get back into 40's day n mid 30's night the space heater will warm the rest of the house to a tolerable 60ish right now heater full blast and cant get house above 50 not even gonna try. our bedroom is doing well at high 60's if I keep all the doors and windows shut/covered! Closed in feeling tho!
anyway that is my issue for the week....get this darn bid straightened out and work started! Ughhhh!
Well like I said, hope everyone is doing well and making the best of it!
Love to you all!
Peace
Juju!
Glad you and the pup enjoy the snow. We have it for 5 months - too much. (((((((((hugs))))))))))
Goodnight...stay warm.
I wanted to watch all of Katy Perry's Roar contest. I liked 2 but the one that really touched my heart was NOT part of the contest. This one hits close to home because 1 person dies every 2-3 days here on island. We have a very very high rate of cancer - could be the air (they did test bomb on Bikini Island and the radiation did reach here), or the water (military does have a habit of burying their containers of chemicals deep underground). Anyway, my 10 year old niece (my oldest sister's grandchild) died of cancer 5 years ago, and my dad's younger brother died of cancer just this past June. My first cousin (mom's brother's daughter) is currently going thru cancer treatment.
If you care to watch the video, please google:
Children's Hospital Dartmouth-Hitchcock Performs Katy Perry's Roar
Sharyn, I hope it's not bad news. Xrays sound like a good plan. Best to find the cause and not just treat the symptom.
the winner of the Katy Perry concert was a high school very near here. That was a very exciting time for that school. I almost anticipated the news channels to cover it live. So much hype around that event,without it I wouldn't have even been aware of the contest. Just an old foggie here.
Who is Katy Perry? Not really - but you know you are over 70 when you aren't a follower of Justin Bieber and Katy Perry, and you still look for the Perry Como special at Christmas. ;p I am an older foggie.
Book sorry about the cancers in your family and on the island. Makes you wonder...
Well, we are onto the next phase - sis has found out that I told the ALF mother wants to go into that I do not allow it. What she doesn't know that it is not my decision, but the decision of our health care system for every unit at any level of care in that particular facility, and that mother does not meet the criteria and that those cannot be changed on demand. I have a call into mother's case manager to double confirm that.
Even if mother was allowed in she would, at the very least, lose more independence, would be in with a group of people that are less functional than she is, and would have her meds handled for her, which she absolutely will not allow now. I called the sister ALF and they have a waiting list of about a year for the type of unit for which she is eligible. I talked to the current ALF director and they are dong their thing for a reassessment and he said that he would be happy to talk with mother's doctor about the concerns they have for mother, so I will put a call in there this morning. He also said that it would be advisable for me to talk to the director of any facility that mother was applying to and tell them her problems and ask if he feels they are equipped to deal with those problems.
Now I am gathering information and links to send to sis and the other family members I cced this summer about the levels of care and regulations in the heath care system, and also the effects of moving someone in mother's condition. If anyone has info about the effects of moving a paranoid senior whose short term memory is extremely short, pass it on to me. I know links aren't allowed here but there are ways around that,
Finding that the PTSD/anxiety of dysfunctional family origin is triggered by this. Need to practice stress relief and maybe make an appointment with my last counsellor. Cant hurt. I found myself greatly overreacting to something yesterday - thankfully I realised it before it went any further.
Took grandson Sean out for a birthday supper, then after I visited my son and dil to fill them in on the famdram. and ask for feedback, Dave gave me good advice to keep anything I send out to a few points put very concisely, as he has found when dealing with people like sis that they will take one item and fly with it ignoring everything else. I think I will run anything I write out past him before I send it.
Whew! This is a lot of work!
On the up side -my car is starting well with the trickle charger, What a relief. I am reliably mobile again! Now I need to get it in for an oil change. Booked for the paws this pm. and lunch with a friend tomorrow.
Have a great day everyone - and look after you!
According to another site, it may be able to be treated in various ways.
J Vasc Interv Neurol. 2008 April; 1(2): 63–64.
Post-stroke fatigue can be organic, psychological, emotional, or a combination of these. A precise diagnosis will aid in treatment planning for effective return to normal levels of activity. Depending on the cause of fatigue, a post-stroke patient may benefit from physical therapy, occupational therapy, anti-depressants, counseling, and careful attention to basic needs. However, patients and care-givers should be patient and recognize that a stroke victims may never fully recover their abilities and dealing with fatigue may be a long-term issue.
I know your husband had a mild stroke, but at least some of the above could apply. I think it would be good to have a follow up visit with the doc that treated him and see if they can figure out what is causing this and offer some treatment.
I wouldn't think that a confrontation of "What's going on? Why are yiou sleeping a lot?" would help. You don't want to get his BP up - lol - but maybe a sit down discussion and tell him you are concerned about him as since the stroke he has been sleeping more than usual, and that you would like him to check with the doc to see what is happening and if they can so anything about it.
((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) these things are worrying
You're right to be concerned, but I can tell you that my mother had two minor strokes in February, took AGES to get going again - she was sleeping up to 20 hours a day - and frightened the life out of me; but then did pick up again, gradually gradually. Gentle encouragement + seize the moment whenever he does want to do anything, would be my rule of thumb. And of course speak to his doctors if you continue to worry.
When we first put in an application for respite care at the only place I've seen so far that I'm happy with, we were eighth on the waiting list. Three months later, we're now second in line. Which I'd be glad about if it weren't for wondering what's happened to the others...
Surprised, just my cynicism coming out this morning. Surprised because are there really any families that can work together?
Just saying hi!
Sharyn, gosh yes I cant imagine ice packs in this cold weather! Hope your feeling better. I agree with the others gently talk with husband and do get a follow up with his doctor, gather a list of your questions and concerns as you think of them. I don't know much about strokes but as few have posted sounds like it is part of the process.
FamDram....I want a role on that sitcom!!!
Well stay warm, strong. and lovely as you all are!
Peace,
Juju
Brrrrrrh! You are one brave woman, icing your leg!
Yes, we're really feeling this cold snap, aren't we?
I've never lived in cold weather parts of the country, so I'm layered down over here.
I'm glad that you didn't have to resort to the cortisone shot, too.
You're in my thoughts,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
This is a good idea you sending your sister and other family members the information about the levels of care your mom may be eligible for. Oh do I understand, this approach, especially given the kind of dysfunction we have going on namely with our sisters. I have done this over and over again regarding care for mom, about her eating plan. I figure that if they have it in black and white in front of them.....hopefully they'll read it. Well also at least for this moment,
it takes you out of the equation as in you telling her yourself.
I've resorted to using this kind of method. I know I've told you about my stubborn neighbor. Sometimes she'll get on the opposite side of any issue, I believe just to argue. Usually she does this with little information, at all! So I tell her, "Google itl.." HAAH!
It sounds as if the director of the ALF, is sensible. They probably can't become too involved if they sense there is discord in a family, then if they hear your mom has BPD, and is narcissistic maybe they don't want to get emotionally involved in some of that with any one patient. Certainly, I'm sure they want to know that a certain patient has certain issues and tendencies as it relates to their stay in the facility, but more than that it could be a privacy issue between family members?
I'm not exactly sure, but it did come to mind.
How great that G, offered to take you on a cruise.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
I have heard that stroke patients take awhile to either come back to their normal level of functioning. I've a friend who visited his mom, who lives out of state.
She'd had a stroke over a year ago. On the first visit about 5 mos. after, he clais he noticed his mother being somewhat w/brain fog. This last visit which is almost a 1.5 time line after the stroke, he said his mom had recovered considerably to see her regaining faculties he thought she'd lost.
Your husband is working, isn't he a full time job? I think that is amazing in and of itself. So possibly his body is just needing more down time to recuperate.
Be patient with him, try not to take a "confront," attitude with him. Sure you can express concern if you feel you should, but may get more cooperation out of him if you do this gently. Definitely, if you notice more lethargy, maybe he should see his doctor.
Your're both in my thoughts,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
I haven't been nasty with him, but I admit there are times I have just rolled my eyes thinking how much sleep does he need. The more I am reading about it, and what everyone here is saying, it makes sense. He goes to the neurologist tomorrow. I will write it down for him to give to the dr. as I have to be at by 4pm. I do feel relieved after reading on the net and what you all are saying.
I hate to always bring bad news but............my brother and sil just found out this morning that sil's daughter now has colon cancer.My sil just fell apart, how much can they take with family getting cancer at such young ages. I am at a loss of words to comfort my brother and sil. Prayers would be appreciated!
I am so sorry about this news regarding your SIL's daughter.
This is what dad had in his later years.
Request definitely granted!
I understand what you must go through with your husband also, depending on how he's willing to communicate about changes he may be feeling, or just ignoring them it can be frustrating.
O.K., keep icing the leg, hope you feel better.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux