
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
I'm glad your visit went well. You made me laugh when you said, that you
"turn your head and mouth F*** Y." I've done that, not to mother, but I used to do it to her sister, who was beyond horrible. Oh, the pity party! Some people really have a penchant for recanting their stories over and over again.
Has your mother had help in the past? I guess she doesn't like the idea, about that.
Well, I hope you'll have a better time to bring that topic up, as I understand the picking and choosing, especially when you've been there the entire day.
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
You did have quite a week!
I'm very sorry to hear that it was something suicidal that took your mother to the ER. How terrible that there wasn't room for her.
But....the good thing is that finally some serious issues are being addressed.
I have noticed that in instances when it's an elder who has diabetes, they always seem to be very anxious. Our aunt was this way. She was in complete denial about it. She ate whatever the heck she wanted. Then I've a friend who isn't in touch w/her mother also a narcissist. She treated my friend very abusively. My friend was a total Cinderella in her own family of seven. She keeps her distance, as a result of it. But now her mom sounds as if she is headed towards the same path as your mom. She lives alone, isn't eating, or at least not on top of her diet as a diabetic. This lady is addicted to eating in restaurant's w/her 86 yr. old boyfriend. He's now having some serious health concerns of his own. So at times, he's not up for leaving his home, to go take her out to eat. Plus, now his daughter moved in w/him, to look out for him. Of course, now there's some monitoring going on having the daughter there. So my friend's mom lately has ended up in the ER too,
since she's been experiencing fainting and disorientation. There's got to be a co-relationship w/low or high sugar levels, with regards to the fainting especially for diabetics.
Well, I'm very glad for your sake that finally she's someplace where her needs can be addressed. So do you think that she'll eventually be placed somewhere?
You are both in my thoughts.
Big Hug,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
You must have had a good week, with your daughter.
Is today the shower? O.K., I'm here holding my breath, w/total suspense.
Have a wooooooonderful party!
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
How are you? I read the post about the progress you've had about your situation.
It is great. I think that in the beginning and in the end.....there's just no use in explaining, arguing, nor justifying anything to a narcissistic personality type.
We just have to make the decisions for ourselves, which hopefully will be beneficial for us, and move on. You've done that! Congrats!
How is your mother doing? I hope she is feeling better.
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Well this week......she presented the project no less at an organization my husband has been a member of for over 30 yrs. It was already a real blow for her to rip him off for his idea. But now......she was coming to a group, where my husband has many collegues and friends. I was so angry at the idea that she'd do something like this. Of course she's a narcissist and whenever we are in her presence, she behaves very phoney, sweet, and she always does this in front of others. She behaves as if she's done nothing wrong. Such a hypocrite! I really didn't even want to attend this presentation, but since it had to do w/one of my husband's groups......I felt I had to, to support him, and we basically felt as if we had to go to save face.
This situation, made my arthritis really flare up, like it had not in a long time.
I'm not sure if it was the stress, but I'm so glad that last week is over.
This is why I hadn't posted here a few days.
Anyway, this narcissist really did a betrayal. Since it's of the kind, where one has to run into someone like this....because she's associated to some of the same groups my husbands linked up to, I was at a loss as to how to deal w/something like this. It's a bit different from dealing with a narcissistic relative. Anyway, I had to really give my husband (and myself) some real pep talks. I told him, "No matter what, we should just behave w/some kind of integrity and dignity instead of the opposite. Anyway, I just had to get this off my chest. I think I'll have a salt bath later. It get's rid of negative energy.
Hope you are all having a great day!
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Happy Mother's Days to all you wonderful mom's, grandmothers and on the the line!!
Well best thing to do is keep on shining your light, even when others want to blow it out! Hold it even higher so they can't reach ya!
My mother received another antibiotic for the second UTI. I don't think she's doing well. I took her somewhere special Thursday. She was ok. She definitely is diminishing every year in energy, more hunched over, fatter belly, can't walk far, feels like she is falling and all of that. She should be thinking of moving to assisted living maybe next year but no, she can't even talk about that. Instead she wants to fool herself a bit longer and think if she moves to another apartment she will be her "old self" again. The Narc has a million impossible dreams where they star in all of them.
I am learning to feel compassion for her inner pain, but happy to see that it is only herself who is responsible for her own mind and happiness, even if she is crazy. Until the day comes when she really cannot take care of herself anymore there's nothing I can do.
Meanwhile my business is picking up and I have had some wonderful adventures meeting people and shooting video.
amount. My sister was disappointed... she remarked "is that all!" That is only so much per baby! I responded gee Kathy what do you want? Of course my sister combined her gift with my mothers so it looks like much more.after that remark...my daughter had the foresight to not reveal the amount of peoples gifts cards or checks. Of course my brother had left before this happened...but my sister had gathered an audience with her remarks up to that point when she definitely crossed boundaries. God Bless my daughter for taking control and ending my sisters reign of being the center of attention.
Hi everyone - between the sewer back up and clean up, insurance adjuster, and then a chest cold, or mould reaction, I have not been great. Laying low and dealing with one thing at a time. Contractors will be coming in to give me quotes for the work. Gary wants to do it himself. Justin (who owns the dog)wants to do it - and he would get at it fast. I doubt it is worth claiming on insurance, because there was some previous water damage from a year or so ago we hadn't repaired yet, so they won't give us anything for the walls except in one room. It would just put my insurance rates up. Aaaargh. The "independent" insurance adjuster is married to the manager of the insurance office. That doesn't seem ethical to me, and he was asking questions about us and a past claim that were none of his business.
Hope you had a great birthday dinner with C and that his gall bladder issues are over.
I am going to try to get some sleep. Hope your kitty gets better soon,
How sweet, twin boys! Congratulations!
How terrible of your sister to say this. I can really see and understand why you have described her at times being a phony snob when it comes to money. My sister does the very same thing. She lives at mom's house for free, (in terms of rent). Then, she works 40 hrs a week. So I'm sure she's doing pretty well financially speaking, it gives her extra money. But at her own grand daughter's Baptismal, one of the great aunt's on her ex-husband's side didn't attend. When my sister brought this fact up.....she said something like, she didn't attend, because she was asked to work over time. She also added, "yes, I guess she's hard up for money these days." It's always something negative, a put down,
and very catty. By saying this.....I guess it makes them feel rich and of course superior to whomever the negative comment is against. Your sister definitely fits into this. These are the Bourgeousie! I know my sister inherited this attitude by both my mother and the battle ax. They were always that way.
Your daughter handled it very well. How embarrassing. But usually other people who are aware catch on to the fact that someone such as our sisters are tactless, and it's a display of ignorance, but also malicious.
Well I'm happy that the shower went well, despite your sister.
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
To my friends who aren't mother's, well Happy Mother's Day to you also,
caregivers are nurturer's, so that count!
Much Love & Light! Guy's if I don't make sense....it is 5:35 a.m.
Margeaux
So sorry your husband got ripped of by a back stabber. My husband too learned this the hard way and going forward he never trusted anyone with intellectual property without having them sign a non disclosure document.
Sharryn.
Congrats of the double blessing of twin boys. You must be very proud of your daughter for the way she handled her aunts behaviour. Our children are adults too which is good to remember.
Thank you. gee.....I was shell shocked about last week.
When someone does something to me, well that's one thing.
But when someone is jerking someone I love around, I get mad dog!
But of course, I can't show up acting like a boxer, no less in my husband's
business circle. At least in my mind I did envision myself in a boxing ring w/the narcissist, and me winning the match.
Yes, we do have to keep our heads about us in this situation, not only for our own sanity, but for our reputations, too.
I'm sorry that your feeling the decline in your mom, Judda. So she had another UTI, forgive me if I'm mixing up the facts. How sweet of you to take her somewhere special.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Sharyn, I chuckled so hard. The first “Marc shark”, I knew you meant Narc. Then when you posted that “it is Marc shark…yes I posting from my kindle..no drinking” I got confused. Really? Marc shark? So, for a few seconds, I tried to figure out what IS Marc shark? I turned to the next page….. Your comment about ‘One more time…’ finally did it. I cracked up laughing. Okay, I acknowledge – it’s the kindle.
Austin, thank you. {{hugs}}
I am happy you had good chuckle Book. My daughter is using my computer room so I am using my kindleLol!
Have a happy mother's day and a happy day of being a wife., an aunt a loyal friend.
Thank you! What we often take for granted. Yes, we live and hopefully learn.
Sorry to hear your husband also went through this. My husband naively thought
that this person was well intentioned, then some kind of friend. Well, she was neither. But I've had to inform my husband also about the fact it's not a good idea to have business dealings with so called friends, to begin with.
That is funny, imagining these folks in under clothes. In her case it could be somewhat scary! HAAH! Thank goodness I had a very supportive friend at my side the other day during that encounter. Honestly, I felt it was one of the only reasons I didn't blow a gasket and feed the sick narcissism.
Have a wonderful day,
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
having a hard day today missing my Gordie.
Bless Justin, he is doing more cleaning up in the basement, and asked what I was doing today and when he heard I was going out for brunch asked if I would like BBQ steak for supper and a fire in the back. I started to cry and said I was missing Gordie, so he gave me a hug. I needed that so much. Gary is rarely here for these days as he is away so much and farmers don't pay too much attention to those days as the animals need 24/7 care. Not that he is a farmer anymore, but it is ingrained. One year, I asked him what he wanted to do for Valentine's Day and he said he had never celebrated it. It is all work, work, work...
Happy Mother's Day to all. No mimosas for me as I am driving. My daughters car is too small for everyone. I will pick up my grandson and bring him with me. Should be a nice brunch.
Don't be afraid to post we won't have you commited. most of us are close to the edge or have one foot over the cliff so join the club.
Welcome if you are new. I don't remember seeing you before. Happy mothers day or memorial day or fourth of July whatever if is, someone round here will know.