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I'm frustrated today. Mom has vision and hearing issues going on and she's just ignoring them so it's hard for me to get them taken care of. Her hearing is getting worse but she won't even discuss hearing aids. I was supposed to work with her on getting the correct strength of "cheater" glasses at the drugstore before her appointment.but she won't even test out her current ones so I have a baseline. So I'm taking the old ones and letting the doc sort it out. She can't see her cell phone very well but won't change to one with bigger buttons. I throw it off as much as I can. But it makes me frustrated that I can't do my job caring for her properly, that her quality of life is so diminished because she's so unwilling to acknowledge any change in health.
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Me1000, I haven't bothered with smear tests since it took the NHS 6 weeks to get back to me and... tell me I had thrush. Gee thanks for that, I thought. BUT you have reason to get checked out. Get down to your nearest clinic and get checked. DO IT. Do not ignore this.

Linda, snap. Teeth-clenchingly frustrating - I always end up feeling that strangling mine would be the only answer! (Don't worry I won't. Probably.)

LooLoo, one of those weird coincidences - I just got off the phone to a similarly distant relative - she's actually my mother's cousin, but it's one of those family structures where the generations slip so she's closer to my age. I didn't get to know her for many years, and since she won't touch the internet or Skype and lives in Mass. it's still not easy, but I really do value her. I don't think you have to live in each other's pockets to appreciate the good things - like an encouraging comment now and again.
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ME, how old is your son? Yes, you need to see a doctor. I do not have health insurance either which scares me. Cannot afford it, yet would not meet eligibility requirements for Medicaid. I have two procedures that were to be followed up on last year. I at least had insurance then, but not the time or deductible amounts to get them done.

This is sure not the way to make any money to pay for these necessary things!
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Linda22- I understand about your mom putting off getting her hearing checked! My grandfathers TV could be heard a house down, and we were always yelling, then he'd get mad and say" Why are you yelling"!!! Uggh! Well after a couple years, more actually he has hearing aids and actually loves them! Hopefully your mom will go soon. Good luck I know its hard to care for them while they wont let us. Maybe if you let your mom think its HER idea to go?

Countrymouse- Oh wow, why do Dr's do that? How long has it been since you went? Im not waiting, Im scared. I will be honest and say Im one of those people who fear death. Sounds weird when I haven't gotten checked, but its true. I plan on living into my 90's!!! Ok, my goal was 100.Im going to the Dr no matter what.

gladimhere- my son is 8yrs old. So its been over 8 years since I been there. Hopefully you can get your followups, as everyone here, and I believe you told me, you have to find a way to go. We can all do this some how some way right? Yes thats true about not making money to do things we need!

Thank you to both
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Me1000, thx for the good vibes, but unfortunately there's a hugely dysfunctional dynamic at play here. Mom has always been very vain and refused to accept any health changes. She is currently telling everyone she is fine, takes one pill and can live in IL but we won't let her. So she doesn't tell us of ANY changes, ie not being able to read for over a year, hearing loss or anything else because that will stymie her on getting into her own apartment. She'll never wear hear aids because of the vanity and I'm curious to see if she'll go back to wearing glasses (which I think will be the next action because her eye is so weak). Fortunately her eye doc is a dear friend of mine so he understands I haven't been negligent, just not informed.

Me1000, my daughter was where you are now, she did get in to the doctor's, they caught things in time, was treated, finished her college and got on with her life. That was nearly 5 years ago. I know it's scary but please go in, for you and your kids.
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another drive by - woke up nauseated, and dizzy this morning, bloated and gassy. Think it was a candida flare up with all that was going on and what I ate yesterday prob didn't help. Anyway. drank lots of water, had a Tums, went back to sleep and felt better when I woke up. Eating more carefully today and tired but alright.

Poor Rocky the cat is blind in one eye and being force fed and injected with fluids under the skin, His blood urea is approaching normal - it was off the scale - but he isn't interested in eating. Tomorrow they will bring him home and continue the force feeding and fluid injections and hope that he will return to normal eating and drinking. I feel badly for him and them all.

Me - I hope you are serious abut getting to a doc. If nothing else, and there are other things, your son needs you healthy. All that nonsense about apptmts -not your fault.

glad and others - look after your health. You cant afford not to!!!

christine - making progress -awesome

margeaux - co dependency indeed. You are wise to draw some boundaries

cm -saw something on another thread - hope your mum's guts are OK. I think a lot of people could benefit from taking probiotics

loo - glad you had some support - breath deep -getting through it

Sharyn - Yay about your vacay! Those babies are hanging in there. Sorry about your mum's decline. I know it is hard to see. It is NOT your fault

book - sounds like you are doing OK.

Jessie, boni, Me, - and those who posted on my wall - I will get back to you thx for the support. I think he is beautiful, but then I am his mum. One of his high school friends posted that he had the biggest heart and the kindest smile. He was very generous and his smile lit up the room. He beamed love and kindness when he smiled. I miss that smile probably more than anything, and the hugs and him singing in the hall when he came down for coffee in the morning. My father has a Welsh great baritone and so did Gordie - the only one who inherited it. I think of the Wordsworth poem called Lucy, "She lived unknown, and few could know When Lucy ceased to be; But she is in her grave, and oh, The difference to me!"

anyone and everyone else - Hi - don't mean to leave anyone out -just not functioning on all cylinders these days. This too will pass.

Be good to you!
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linda22 - sorry I left you out - my mother is the other way -wants her hearing aids checked and rechecked and tells people she has ailments that she doesn't have, like a heart condition, and goes to the ER, but denies the ones she does have (BPD, paranoia and dementia). :eye roll!!!:
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Just one story about narc counselor sis and the death of my ex MIL. Well, you all may remember the big to do about the July birthday party since sis has one as do two of my kiddos and one grand baby. Sis wanted a party so bad, trying to get three grown children and spouses, all with lives of their own together for even an hour is close to impossible. They had mentioned doing it tomorrow. So last week first thing Monday morning narc sis decided to email everybody about a party tomorrow. The day before, MIL went into the hospital following a stroke and heart attack on Saturday. When I received sissy's email I gave her the benefit of the doubt (wont be doing that again any time soon) that she just did not know about MIL. My mistake, she had been told the day before, by my daughter, and how grave MIL's chances were. But she sends an email inviting all to a party anyway. I responded to the email to tell her about MIL and that planning a party should probably wait. Of course I did not receive a reply. I continue to be completely appalled by some of the things she does! Oh, and there is not a party tomorrow. Kids are helping ex to clean out MIL's apartment. Then back to work for all of them as school is getting ready to start here. Phew, appears I am off the hook this time.
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Me100~Please go to your dr...it is very important as you want to be there for your children. I had a bad pap result back in my 30's. It came back with pre-cancerous cells. The dr did a procedure where they froze my cervix. I have been fine since.
Glad~Your sis...always scheming to be the center of attention...shame on her and happy your children are otherwise busy with the priority.
Linda22~So sorry you are going through this with your mother...frustrating I know. You can only do what you can do....don't sweat her hearing and vision issues...not life threatening and you can't control what she wants. just focus on what you can do for her.
Joan~ I hope Rocky continues to improve...poor kitty, he has been through quite an ordeal. Keep taking care of yourself. Gordie was a special soul and he is looking down watching over you.
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Sis heard a report about how music helpful with alzieimer's/dementia patients. It can bring them out of their world and they will start singing,. tapping their feet or hands to the beat. In some cases, after removing the earphones, the patient can engage in a short conversation. The patients I have seen videos of are much more advanced than my mother, no longer talking or walking...usually they spend their days in a wheelchair with heads down and eyes closed.

My sis is now all gung ho on buying an Ipod for mom....and of course she wants me to down load the music from the internet.

Of course I am opposed to this for several reasons...1)mom's money should be used only for her care 2)I do not believe my mom has or ever had the emotional capacity to respond to music that would be beneficial to her now 3)I do not have the time to download music or even look for the type of music my mother likes and legally pay for it or have my mother pay for it 4) I do not want to argue with my sister about the type of music...we already disagree about that.5)I do not think it would work with the stage our mom is currently in....she is still mobile...still communicates and (selfishly yes)....do you really want mom to even have a few moments of being her real self???...are you prepared for the verbal barrage??
Any comments or suggestions I would appreciate!!
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Sharyn could you perhaps borrow a music system - doesn't have to be an iPod, of course - and see if you get any response from your mother? I doubt if her kind of music would be either your or your sister's favourite! - I should try the oldies and goodies from her own era, whatever was in the equivalent of the charts when she was a teen.

And, also of course, you don't have to sit around and wait for your mother to start, er, acting normal!!! But either your mother will love it and it might be worth getting her a modest system of her own; or she'll ignore it and you can tell sis you tried?
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Sharyn,
We have an iPad here. I have downloaded Sound of Music and Singing in the Rain. Mom loves to watch the movies. But some things about the ease of use cause problems, including the touch screen. Mom will point at something while watching, well then the movie stops. Then to get it started again she needs help. The screen is tapped at random nearly constantly who knows where she may end up. If you want it for the music I would just get her a decent music system, table top variety. That way it is much easier to monitor mom's activity. Or a tape deck that will keep replaying over and over and over again.
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Sharynmarie,

I realize that your opposition to your sister's idea concerning the music for your mom....is based on history. I've heard that it may stimulate an elderly person's brain. What I think it could do for your mom, is bring her something positive, even in her condition. Who knows it may even put her in a good mood.

Sure, it doesn't have to be the most expensive equipment to do this, either.
If you're stressing over the amount of money sister wants to spend, well that's one issue, because I do remember the air conditioning story. However, if you feel it just may give your mother some pleasure.....I would definitely consider this to be money spent for the care of your mom.

Recently, when I was at mom's, my sister told me that she didn't know why mom
still wears a bra, at 92. I didn't respond anything to this. However I felt, "well, if she feels like wearing one, and she still can put it on, good for her." Besides, my mom was always a very neat and conservative woman. This to me demonstrates a routine, that mom still relates to. I mean all she does nowadays, is eat, sleep, and sit in front of a tv. Sure, the caregivers make decisions for them. But even if we sometimes feel they're not going to relate, I still think we should give them the opportunity to have a small bit of something of their own. There's not harm done if a 92 yr. old still wants to wear a bra. There's nothing wrong, with you providing some music, and if it may bring some peace and a bit of joy for your mom, well I say that's a good thing.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Thank you ladies. I appreciate the feed back. Yes concern is that my sister has no problem spending my mom's money on things that are nonessential. I don't ever remember my mother listening much to music...my dad did all the time. However, I don't want to deprive mom of something that may give her pleasure or comfort. I saw a portable CD player on amazon...I will order it and look for a CD.....Bing. Crosby or Eddie Arnold and see how she responds to it. Thank you all again...you have helped.
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Linda22- Hopefully you have some better days coming up :) And thank you for sharing about your daughter, Im glad she got the help and is doing good now!!

emjo23-Poor kitty, hes determined! Im glad hes improving and yes, we been there with a stray the whole block took in, ( years ago) mainly us. He made it but it took him a while to bounce back. I am serious about going, Im really scared.

gladimhere- sorry again about your ex mil. Also as bad as I feel for kids not to have a huge party instead of a cake at home and thats it, it can be a relief when we get a break!

sharynmarie- thank you as well for sharing, and Im glad your doing good since then! I hope if I do, its early enough..Also on the music I think Countrymouse has a great idea, test some out before you buy or download anything. I wish you luck.( I love the oldies myself, actually everything but Jazz) Maybe your mom would like new types of music too?
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Margeaux, Im glad your mom still has her routine- that is good!

sharynmarie- Good luck!!! Let us know what she thinks!
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Well, I asked a question a while back on fixing the bathroom for a walk in shower ( no steps) and got great advice. So, I talked to my grandpa over the few months and he liked the idea, until it came to the money part!! Hes so darn stubborn he doesn't want to use his money on him which will help HIM LIVE LONGER AND BETTER! So from all of your answers, peoples questions I looked up those portable showers and I fell in love with the idea!! That's great for my dad as well in the near future, my dad liked it too. Well, the price -his mouth dropped even for the $600 one, but said" If I had the money I would buy it" Yeah!! So when I work, I will get it for my dad!! Of course he said "I'd prefer a female nurse to bathe me " -- he said it with a little grin and eyebrow lift--lol


My grandpas reaction?" Oh My God. your trying to spend money and waste it when Im trying to save money for you all... yada yada" well, I interrupted and said" If you would like the ease, comfort, no chance of slipping and living longer and safer at least ( because of no falls) you HAVE the money its YOUR money". He got upset and told me he can just use a washcloth hes fine" Ugghh!!!! Then I continued telling him I can fit it n his Kitchen or in front of his bathroom ( need the sink for drainage) and I can take it apart no one will know"

He gets mad and says " you do enough for me down here and up there, and you need a job, your not doing heavy manual labor etc"( ha once in a great while I get a thank of sorts - its nice to hear- of course other times he says such and such person goes above and beyond what do I do- so I soak in the compliment ) I said" Grandpa, its PVC pipe, little mat to hold the water and a light shower curtain I can easily put away, not heavy.. hence..portable.." He yelled at me said no, he has no money etc!!! Uggh he does have the money!! I told him when I get a job its the first thing Im buying him!! He said" The he*& you will" NO!!! I wont use it!!!" gaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

So on to the next issue of the day, my son has his new ADHD patch on, 2nd day...its raining and he wants to play outside, (yes he has to wear it summer because of violence, impulsiveness,ODD etc) low dose not working yet.. hopefully it will kick in soon or if not working it has to be adjusted!

Im hanging in here, scared about health but am going! But overall, its raining which relaxes me a little and I am just going to catch up on cleaning.. lots of cleaning lol. Thanks again everyone, this forum does stay stuck in my head even while Im laying there at night. The threads I read and may not respond to is important to me and I want to help, but because I dont know what to say or haven't been through it, I don't respond. I hope everyone finds some peace and good health. Im trying!!!
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I spoke to soon!!!!!!!!!My grandpa really chewed me out out and got so upset with me he told me not to come down until I had no choice tonight or at all. No sense in going all into it, its always about how we do something wrong and even he expects us to take my wild child to the store/ dr.s to get it done. Then says dont take him blahhh.

My mouth flew as well did my tone of voice and words today because Im tired of getting yelled at, put down by him and neighbors offering to do things as if we dont do them( or want to) and they offer for grandpa or my son etc. Any who my question is this, I need a break.... desperately. I want to go to a motel for a couple days. ( I need a week really) No kids, no pets, no grandpa, no dad, no friends, no nothing ( of course an emergency id come home.. ) I wouldnt be too far away. So, I guess Id have to wait until I have a job.. but who knows when I will get hired and I need to breathe now. I have no motivation at this point, Im upset, Im tired and worn out.

If grandpa says he will be fine and wont hire someone, should I just go? My Aunt says no ( even though she is not talking with any of us including my grandpa) But... I dont know how much longer or more I can take without a break. Im desperate... so very desperate. Im not on my toes like I used to be .. I look at something that has to be done and it takes me forever to do it. Im not depressed, just so stressed and need a break. I dont want to do anything .. its like me going on strike saying" I want rights and breaks, I want respect" but I know i have to clean, go to appts, cook, get yelled at and put down,( by grandpa and son)

Sorry I just want to know if I can go a couple days.. I told grandpa this and he just said" oh god you have obligations here and have no reason to go even if you paid for it, what your gonna "hook up"? Omg NO!!! I want to be alone,. me, myself and I. No getting yelled at, no doing anything for anyone for just a couple days just . I don't even know any men in town!!
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Me1000, it's not unreasonable to need a break. Most people who work get regular time off, and you work harder and longer hours than many.

So, think it through. Whose permission and what money do you actually need for this to happen? Can you get them? If so, that's all you're waiting for. Leaving your grandpa to his own devices: go right ahead. Your son is a different matter, of course, but presumably you have a plan for him too?
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Countrymouse- Thank you for replying, I need my grandfathers permission because he needs someone there with him. Of course he says hes ok to be alone. He has neighbors and my dad all day on and off to check on him, and my dad offered to go at night but my dad cant lift him. My grandpa is very against me doing this. Money, well, its when I have a job I guess. Im actually willing to sleep in the car somewhere just to have a break, Sad huh? A truck stop will do, I can park there? Im really serious. I feel like my whole body is full of something I cant explain. I feel like I have no control, I feel if I had a break, I can get my head straight and get back to everything and better at it.

My kids will stay with my dad. I feel bad about my dad handling my son but at this point .. theres no choice! Im looking at it this way, If I was in business or some job that made me travel, id have to have plan B right? Backup for my dad is my one neighbor I can trust as well as a good family friend I trust. I know she would stay with my grandpa at night but she has her own mom to care for. Plus, my grandpa will say no women at night because the neighbors will" talk ".
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Me, you sound at the end or your rope. Call Dad tell him you are going for a few days and to just handle things as they have done with you. Do you have a friend, even the friend that is taking care of her Mom. But, I do understand the ME time! Just figure out a way to do it, camp out, tell Dad it is up to him, let him find out how you deal with EVERYTHING all the time.
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But Me, if you grandfather doesn't agree he needs someone with him then isn't that his problem? Let him sort out his own care for the brief period that you're away. The worst that can happen is that you are proved right and it isn't your fault. Others will cope.

If you do seriously drop down dead in harness they'll have to do without you, right? So what's the difference? Take a brief break now so that they won't have to do without you for longer (or, God forbid, permanently). Hugs.
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Me - what the others said. You need the break, like you need to go to the doc. Your interests do NOT have to be bottom of the pile Look how many people rely on you. I don't give a fig what your grandfather says. He is not in charge of your life. You have choices. He doesn't have to like it. If he says he is fine alone - let him be alone. If he yells, leave. You don't have to put up with that. Tell him you will come back when he is feeling calmer. If you were run over by a bus tomorrow, they all would manage a different way which would be without your help.

glad - that sis of yours reminds me of mother - must be center stage all the time and trampling on the feelings of others matters not. Your kids sound great!

Sharyn - music may be of some enjoyment to your mother, but don't let sis land you with more work. You have a lot on your plate. I know all about the good ideas of others that end up being work for me. My sis came over to Canada saying she was going to help mother move to another ALF, but made a mess of even getting information and gave very clear signals that she expected me to do the work. I did not comply, but did what I thought was right. I am not their servant.

Saw younger grandson today who was 9 yesterday and brought him his b'day presents. Also saw the cat who came home today and is doing better again, but has a long way to go. The vet is still not sure if he will even survive. My granddaughter bought me a ring in BC where they holidayed . It is HUGE (you could knock someone out with it) and I love it. I will take her out for her birthday lunch this coming week.

Felt pretty good today all things considered. Not over this infection yet, but getting there. Maybe I can make something of the rest of the summer!!!

Do something good for you this coming week everyone! ((((((hugs)))))
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Me~I must agree, your needs are very important 1)your health 2) You are only 1 person with 2 hands...stress just compounds everything and your son needs routine and support for the ADHD. My son was diagnosed with it when he was little...consistency, routine is necessary. Your son must come second after your health. You won't be any good to anyone without your health and that includes respite time. Take that break now.

Joan~I am praying for little Rocky. Poor little guy...what an ordeal for all of you.
You are right about good intentions from my sis with the expected outcome to on me....like I don't have enough going on but sis has those rose colored glasses on and thinks because I have a husband and no legit health issues...I have all this time on my hands. She does not seem to realize that while she only works 20 hours a week, I am working close to 40 plus I will only have one day off, Wednesday...before I go on vacay. She thinks I am the energizer bunny, LOL!! I will look into getting the little cd player and a cd after my vacay.

Talked with my daughter today before work...she said both boys are head down, almost 5lbs and baby A is locked and loaded, LOL!!! He is head down in her pelvis!!! They are still side by side...baby B is bigger over all in weight and height. She was joking about having music in the delivery room and choosing a song by Johnny Cash..."Ring Of Fire"...hee hee...I told her be thankful you don't have 1 10lb baby, then you would definitely have a ring of fire!! Expected delivery is no later than Aug 29th but most likely sooner.

Glad you are feeling better Joan. Continue doing what you are doing!

Everyone take care and put your health first, have a good night!!
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gladimhere- My dad has also done a lot for him and me as well as my kids over the years, but now he really cant. His total health issues from worst to least worst are CHF,Heart Valve are calcified again and he ripped them lifting grandpa and things around here, COPD,DJD( Degenerative Joint Disease) Diabetes, Going blind in one eye( forgot what that is called, if he doesn't have surgery it will be permanent- not cataract but detachment?) Cholesterol, High Blood Pressure, and few other things I think Im forgetting.

Grandfather is Blind, CHF,Pace Maker,Mobility Issues, High Cholesterol, few other basic issues like allergies and heart burn.. gotta look it up, I dont like forgetting) So between the both its hard for dad to take care of grandpa and my son. Daughter is easy overall. But he still willing to help me out a couple days. Yes, I do believe Im at the end of my rope!

Countrymouse- I know and sometimes I feel that way just to say the heck with it then he calls and calls and asks when Im coming and says he wouldn't know what he would do with out me at night. But yet says he will be fine under the same breath. His daughter ( my Aunt) told me I was never to leave my grandfather alone at night no matter what he said!!! So Im never allowed to leave him unless he will accept a replacement which the only one would be her or my dad and she refuses to come with him because of their fight last time! And she is too busy looking for a job.She does live out of town though, so I understand its more travel but she USED to come every 2/3 months for up to 4 days.

emjo23-I know and I agree with you, how would they manage? I have asked them that and my grandpa wont hear of the question. I know I have to do something.

sharynmarie- Its not easy raising them with it is it? Routine, yes, my son is better on a routine and activities where he can be active!! Was your son on meds and therapy? How is he now? I know I need rest


Thank you all. I feel guilty and hate annoying you all by coming here daily complaining I just at am a place right now if I dont I feel like Im just gonna fall down. I was in bed last night looking at the time praying I had until at least midnight with no Interruptions just so I can breathe.. a miracle happened at it happened and I got started with my day around 1am. I didnt really sleep much because just the thoughts of having to get up was on my mind. Thismorning my grandpa woke me up just to see the time and if I was getting up it was late ( 4:30am). He has several alarms/watched he can just press right by him to hear the time. And I told him when the caretaker or maid as he calls her comes the next morning, I want to sleep in those days after 8am as long as my kids have no school. He never listens and says schedules are good to keep uggh.
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(Stern face) Me, your aunt can say that provided she is prepared to cover for you. But the person who thinks that grandfather Must Never Be Left Alone also has to be the person who is willing to ensure it doesn't happen. I.e. her, not you. And, by the way, she's run that past your grandpa, has she? Does he agree?

No, didn't think so.

You need a break. Let all these people who have their opinions turn their thoughts to helping you arrange it. Big hug.
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my husband and I are both alcoholics and come from very default background we have both been in recover and sober 25 years and over. I am the only caregiver for him as he has had a stroke. I find it very hard to take care of him and I really have a hard time with our dysfunctions I am trying to learn how to be the best caretaker for him and let him keep his dignity I feel a lot of guilt for some of the ways I handle things with him. thank you all for your comments..
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Countrymouse- your right!!!! He says its his choice if he has anyone come in because he is still of sound mind. HE always lets the caretakers go early again, HIS choice, my Aunt knows that but she still wants him in the VA/NH if he doesnt get more help. I agree with her in that sense that he needs more help, mainly companion to make sure hes ok. But as my grandpa says" when the Drs tells me I cant live alone anymore and need 24hr care, then it will be different" Im planning, see, the first 24hrs I will be awake and worried about everyone, waiting to hear them call me etc. Then the next 24 I will hopefully rest. Id like a full week, but there's no way that could happen. At least not yet!! So Im even packing light now!! Cell phone charged, change of clothes, blanket and flashlight. Water too. All fits in a backpack!!!!
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Sunshine89- I didn't forget you but wanted to address you separately. I wanted to tell you I am extremely proud of you and your husband being sober for so long! Everyday your sober is wonderful. As for your husbands stroke, what can he do? What do you feel your doing wrong? Have you talked to his Dr about any type of services that can come in and help you? You also need time for you. Do you work? Kids? Other family or friends?

No one is perfect although I and Im sure others try to be. We learn as we go, we improve over time. New techniques always come over time as well. Is he eligible for a NH ? Hugs
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Me-Yes, it is very difficult raising a child with ADHD. I had no support from hubby or his family and of course his family blamed me for ineffective parenting. Yes, he was taking Ritalin for it. We tried another drug called Cylert that I loved, however, it raised his liver enzymes so we had to take him off of it. Ritalin helped, while he was in school and without the Ritalin, my son would write words backwards. I had him in sports, we went hiking anything to help him run off energy, we tried diet, counseling. By the time he got in HS he was starting to be a much more pleasant person to be around. He is now 34, works in a warehouse (perfect for. him).: I took him off Ritalin by the time he was in jr. High. He can still be very impulsive, and will never be good at organizing....but overall he is a good responsibile adult who is like a big kid. I enjoy him so much more and when we visit, we do a lot of outdoor activities together since we both love to be active.
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