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Margeaux- So sweet of you to help your friend clean it up :) Im sorry you and your sibs went through a rough time and thank you for sharing. Its good to be able to hear what you went through , how you felt as a child and how you hold the memories today. It definitely gives me a lot to think about.


sandwich42plus- No ots not that I need that feeling to be a rescuer, I have always wanted to help and chat with people and make people laugh and be happy. I felt sad when I see people who are sad or those in need of help-family or non. Idk if I feel like " hey pat on the back Me because I need a good thing etc" honestly I dont think that or feel that, I just want to help. Of course a little of it with grandpa goes to me wanting to give back to him for all he has done for us as well. My sis used to call me a kiss a&* because I was this way, always wanted to be with people, new people, old friends and family, always wanted to be interacting with them and yes helping. It was automatic for me to help others. This is the old me who could handle it all. Of course handling it all as a child or young adult doesnt have the responsibilities as an adult and what all of us caregivers do. So balancing everything is hard. I dont mind helping, I want to be there, just less time so I can work and have some time with my dad and kids too. I have always been walked on too because of by attitude I think.. not sure. I have changes through bad relationships and family issues, loss of my first son ( miscarriage) and I am stressed because now I force myself to smile in public and talk back when they talk to me, no I force myself to go in public.. of couses its been this way even before I was full time caretaker for granpa, but its gotten worse since after full time. I see what you all are saying... Im working on my house today full force and will send my dad down until a certain time unless an emergency. I am not feeling well either ( darn colds!!)


emjo23- Im glad you had a nice lunch at quality time with your grandson and daughter for tea! Make sure you rest though and get well soon :)

gladimhere- Hang in there, many more hugs your way!

sharynmarie- I hope you can see them before you go!! Good luck to you all :)
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sharynmarie........... best of luck with the babies hope they come soon! my last nanny job was looking after twin boys very different looks and personality they were an absolute joy to look after i thought two would be difficult but its easier i think than one as they do amuse each other!! Bathing is FUN??? they were 8mths when i started and 3yrs when i left i am looking forward to returning to Paris one day to see how theyve grown up! I still keep in touch with the mum and strange but true thier mum and i "are twins" both born the same year and day isnt that strange?? Yes twins are alot of fun!!
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Emjo hope you get better soon! Apple cider vinegar BATHS yes! as hot as you can bear it great for detoxing the body! If you can alternate cider bath,then epsom salts then teatree oil it got rid of my yeast infection i now take probiotics and swear by them!
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Emjo,

It's good to hear from you!
I really understand......when one just doesn't want to post, too.
It's difficult also, when you're just not feeling your best.
But I'm happy you had that day with your grandson, it must have been lots of fun.
All right, feel better.

Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Sharynmarie,

Sorry to hear about her BP being so high.
This must be very stressful for you and her, and of course her husband.
I'm keeping all of you in my thoughts.

Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Sharyn - babies soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So exciting your daughter is doing so well :-)
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Yes!!!; they are still planning to induce tomorrow. I was concerned about her bp during labor but either the drug to induce labor or the epideral has a bp lowering component in it. They can feel baby A's head...at least last week they did...LOL!! Today they find her cervix!!! Where the heck did it go???

Kazza-Ibet twins are fun, once they can sit up in the bath..LOL!! Boys are so fun in general anyway...rocks in their pockets and who know what else may be found.

Joan- hope you are feeling better soon. I like the day you had with your grandson...so cute.

Thank you Glad, Margeaux and Me1000.

Glad-hope you are getting things worked out with insurance and are able to breathe some as the shock wears off.
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Sharynmarie - my first was an induction due to my lateness and extremely high BP. And the fact my water broke before labor started. I had an epidural too. That baby ended up being my 15 year old, laid back, nothing phases him child. Sometimes I wish his school deadlines would phase him..... He was in no hurry to be born. I guess he felt he was fine in there! Took modern drugs and a very large LD nurse named Helga to scare him out of there.

GOOD LUCK and we'll be waiting for baby stories when you have time.
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Emjo taking your grandson out for lunch and a hike is "quiet," is it? Lordy! Hope you're beginning to perk up, though, it's no fun feeling under the weather. Especially if it means no Yorkshire puds :(

I second Kazzaa's probiotics suggestion - it's those lactobacilli making everything a bit more acidic, isn't it? Something like that. And at the very least, palatable. Wish you better x
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My daughters dr of choice is on call until 7am tomorrow. She will induce her at midnight!! This dr had triplets...she is a great comfort to my daughter and she may be able to see her to the end of her pregnancy!! ;I am so excited...told my daughter I am bringing my camera at midnight, she said you are not taking pics ofme writhering in pain....I said Hey...labor day is coming up!! Anyway... i plan to take pics of the babies.
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kazzaa and cm - eating probiotics all the time - capsules, yogurt and kimchi. This infection developed a few years ago after a lifetime of antibiotics every few months and then the stress of moving mother for the first time. It is a gut yeast infection (dysbiosis - imbalance of bugs in the gut) and at its worst I have sweats, bad gut pain and fatigue and more). It didn't get that bad this time. I have gone off the meds today and feel much better. The worst this time has been the "die off" giving me brain fog etc. I will go on another meds if I need to, as it is easier to take though can be hard on the liver. I survived a couple of years on it before with no problems. It is a balancing act. Tea tree oil etc. hasn't done it for me. I have tried them all.

cm - that was my busy day and was a bit too much. Usually I am much quieter. G was delayed again yesterday, so we are looking at beef tonight, but I am not putting it in the oven till I know when he is coming home. It is a small roast.We may end up cutting it into steaks - they cook faster. ;p

Sharyn - it was a lovely day, As we sat sharing fries over lunch, Joel told me he wanted to be a biochemical engineer. He could do it, and he wouldn't be the first one in the extended family. Praying for your daughter and the twins.

glad - hope you are getting your head around the fire etc. Very scary!

sandwich - my water broke before each of my labors, but the babies all came fast.

Me - you mention having been taken advantage of for years. I have tended to be a little like that and still am to a smaller extent. No one can change that but you. Life has piled more and more on you - now your sis as well, and you are the one who has to say no and set your own priorities and boundaries. As I get older, I have to adjust what I will and will not do. It is ongoing. How about setting yourself as a priority sometimes - not doing something because it pleases others, so they are happy, which makes you happy. It never works well relying on others feelings to make you happy. You have to be able to be happy/content, regardless if how others feel. Gpa is guilting you with the "see what I do for you". Remember that FOG - fear obligation and guilt is used by people to manipulate others. It seems to me that you are being jerked around by all three if these. Mother used to pull that too. I took my daughter and family in when they needed a place and didn't ask much of them at all, nor did I throw it in their face all the time, or ever for that matter. I lived in the basement and gave them the rest of the house. It was a gift to them with no strings attached.

Margeaux - wow - that sis of yours and your ex friend. The nerve of both of them!!! Talk about manipulation!

No word from G yet, so I think I will head off to the store. I dare not drive when I have brain fog, but am OK now :). He spends more and more time in the office in the south, I would move there if it were not for the kids and grandkids here. But the winters get harder to take as I get older. Another trade off. One of these years we will move...

Have a good evening and do something good for you.
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Sharyn - we cross posted! Yes, pictures!!! Prayers for a fast and safe delivery for all. Finally it is happening.
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Sharyn, wonderful! Hope all do well through the delivery!

Now on to my rant. Went down to my house today to tag things to be thrown out. I am looking at it as downsizing and a good thing in general. That is probably what has kept me sane, at least this far.

So on to narc sisters, yes I have now decided there are two of them. Though POA sis not quite as bad but much more self absorbed! Tuesday night when she was here she was explaining to a friend of mine how terribly busy she is. PLEASE! I REALLY DONT GIVE A RAT'S PATOOT! Today I emailed both sissies to ask if I could get help getting mom picked up from daycare, about 9:30 am. Well, by 2 I had not received any sort of response so emailed them again to let them know I had it managed and would get there to pick up mom. Oh and by the way #1 narc sis has not responded to anything this week. Self-centered Bi%$#!

Well POA sis called the house about 4:45 to tell L that she had just received my e-mail (LIAR!) then asked who picked mom up. CHICKEN SH%%! I used to think that I would do anything for my sissies that they needed. Not any longer, that is for sure. So this nonsense of theirs got me riled up tonight, then L decided to stay up an hour later! Old fart! (typing this is at least making me feel better). Then mom's guardian emails me to tell me about the email nonsense that I just need to lower my expectations! I don't have any whatsoever! And DA%%, if my mom understood any of this she would have disinherited both brats a long time ago!

Well, all for tonight, maybe. Thank you all for being so understanding I appreciate you all!

Oh and fire investigators changed the classification of fire to explosion. The place is such a mess, unbelievable!
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Glad, freestyle cursing exceptionally good for the blood pressure, I often find! Good to hear you let off some steam :) xxx
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I am one of 5 and am the sole caregiver....except when there is a complaint about something not being done right. I have taken care of my mom for over 10 years along with my husband and no one else's help and would do it again in a heartbeat! In May I had to make one of the hardest decisions of putting her in a secured dementia unit, after asking for help from other family and being told too busy can't. I am Poa and my sister is very upset that she has no say in anything we do not speak to each other anymore, so she called Dept of Welfare on the assit living faclities and gave false reports and they as well as myself were looked into . She claims it was not her however the women from DPW gave me her name go figure! There is never a dull moment in caregiving, you just have to try and stay strong for the person who are taking care of!
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Michele, your sister is a twerp. Sounds like the reports got opened and shut pretty promptly? So that's something; but how she has the nerve to start second-guessing like that… you just shake your head in wonder.
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Michele, I also was investigated due to false allegations reported to Adult Protective Services by the two darling b$#%=es i refer to above. That was nearly two years ago now. The case was opened and closed very quickly. I have now been my Mom's 24/7/365 caregiver for more than three years.

When siblings do this it is often to justify their behavior so their level of guilt is decreased. If you think about it I think when sibs do this they hope that a problem is found, then they can say they did everything they could possibly do to keep parents safe. Now they can relieve their guilt since calling APS was an effort to help, or correct a situation that they think is inappropriate, unsafe or any number of other possible things.
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sharynmarie- Ha I love how you said "Hey...labor day is coming up!!" I like that!!!

emjo23- Im sorry your going through such a bad infection. Your in my thoughts to heal faster and feel better! Its hard not to be walked on isnt it? Sorry you are too.
You did a wonderful thing for your daughter and how nice of you not to throw it in her face! Thats what I feel family should do, help and just be there because they want to not because they have to give guilt trips! Good luck if you move too!

gladimhere- Im so sorry about all your going through and its a shame your sisters wouldnt help. You dont need anymore stress! Im so sorry about your house, I couldnt even imagine. Hopefully they can get everything cleaned up and rebuilt quickly. ( Also sorry about you going through the false accusations too) Your in my thoughts hugs

micheledigi- Thats so sad what your sister did to you and your husband! Its horrible when people make false accusations and start drama and pain for their own reasons. You and your husband are wonderful to have taken care of your mom for so long and still are even though shes in a secured unit. Im not your sis but thank you for being caring :) Hugs


**** Well over 4 hours of homework last night only with my son. Spelling he did quickly but was behind on his reading for a book report.. 90 easy easy pages which he had week to read it in, but couldnt sit still long enough to read it! And was only 20 minutes a day and start writing each day! The more work it is its harder for him to do it. This morning another hr but still only half done poor baby. He is now on 15mg of Daytrana Patch for his adhd and clonidine for sleep and anger and adhd its suppose to help but not sure about the dose yet. Granpa and I fought this morning at 5am because he says theres no such thing as ADHD no mental disorder other then schizophrenia, downs syndrome and autism where the child cant function. My daughter is undiagnosed High Functioning Asperger ( mainly no facial expression, lack social skills, and hygiene) son as you know with all his issues but again my daughter doesnt have it or she couldnt be passing! Uggh there's different types and severity! Also Im yelled at because I have a cold and sent my dad yesterday who also has a cold and is preparing for heart surgery ( well once the cold is gone anyways) And Im there all night grandpa just cant or wont see it!!! Im so tired havent slept good in a few days and when I try to sleep Im not allowed!!! Blah.. its only 7:18am!!! Long day ahead! At least Im getting a good old strawberry shake from whaterburger!!! Yeah me! And I read my sons book helping him lastnight.. ok, a kids book but yeah I read a whole book!! Oh add to my Aunt is demanding a copy of the will because its changed but believe me really its better for her! She didnt have the last copy and she has to come here to put it through probate anyways! Why does she need a copy of it ? Why a copy of this one? Im also down to put it through probate if she cant but I dont want a copy its safe with grandpa where it belongs..sealed!!! Am I wrong?
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Me-just a suggestion....would it be beneficial for your son if you read to him? Kids learn in different ways and your read could actuallly be very helpful. Glad you liked the labor day joke!!

Dr broke water for baby a...very slow progress through. The night. I went home about 1:30am as daughter seemed annoyed with me so I thought best to go get some sleep. Will pop in around 10 for a short visit.
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ME, you touch on policy that just burns me right now by mention in ADHD. Regardless of the mental disorder many people think if you cannot see an illness it must not be real. This could apply to ADHD, schizophrenia, bipolar, vascular dementia, and yes, Alzheimer's. Because Alzheimer's cannot be seen it is treated very differently in terms of government policy. For example transfer of real estate property to a family caregiver after caring for a parent for longer than three years is only permissible under Medicaid if the parent is admitted to a nursing home. Does not apply if they enter memory care. But if they are I'll with cancer it applies. Why should admission to memory care be treated differently than a nursing home? Those with Alzheimer's and other dementias need specialized care in spite of many still be mobile. Memory care is nearly as costly as nursing homes once level of care is added. And perhaps patient staff ratio would decrease if this were recognized.
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ME1000 - my 15 year old is ADHD/Aspergers PDD-NOS. The daytrana patch worked so much better for him than oral Ritalin. It didn't kill his apetite, and he stopped being underweight! Insurance stopped covering it, so last year he switched to Concerta time-release, and it was just almost as good. When they have growth spurts though, you find out through school behavior reports in the classes at the end of the day! Usually after 2 p.m. for us. That's how I know it's time to talk about dosage. The patch didn't have that problem.

GOOD FOR YOU spending time with your kids! Does your son have an IEP or 504 plan at school, so he can get more time on assignments, alternative test taking, and a set of class books at home? If not, you can by law get those things for him at no cost to you.
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sharynmarie- Thats a great idea! I will do this tonight and see how it goes! Im waiting to hear the baby news soon!

gladimhere- I agree with you oh and he does believe in "going senile" he even told me to ground my son and keep in in all day today because he didnt want to finish his work! Ok yes he gets lazy or puts off, I do to, and my son could put more effort in too ( its not all about the meds) but overall in my heart I feel he just couldnt do it on time but yet he got a 90 on his spelling test today!!! Hes smart just has to have the right balance and techniques to guide him besides med. Oh thats true about medicaid. But how come they dont request payback for kids on medicaid and only the adults esp for a nursing home? I didnt know that they charged differently like depending on mental or physical status. Hopefully things will improve.
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Maybe medicaid sees memory care as just a super-max security psych unit, versus a nursing home where it's all about the skilled nursing provided. How out of date! Memory care residents in particular need skilled nursing, not just containment.

We've tried really hard to keep our son from thinking his ADHD & Aspergers are disabilities. It's not mental illness either. His brain is just wired differently, and he has a hard time with certain executive functions like planning work. You have to be super explicit with him on what you mean and not leave anything up to him filling in the blanks with assumptions. You also have to tell him why he has to do everything because it's not obvious to him. Some fool put him in AP English for 10th grade, because he's in an AP math class. Oh lordy help me now. That is going to frustrate him to no end, having to dissect literature and write essays. If it's subjective, he hates it. What are literature classes? Totally subjective.
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sandwich42plus- Im sorry he had to switch but I have heard good things about Concerta too. Im glad your son is doing well on this one too and gained some weight!! Its so sad to see them not hungry and losing weight isnt it? I like the patch so far, its easier for him to take it but oh my is it expensive! It felt good staying the extra two hours at my house with my kids! You know, even though my son is in Private School, I believe they have to follow the IEP ( never heard of 504) but my sons Dr never game him one. Why is that? Are all kids in this situation suppose to get one or do they wait and see how meds work first? Im going to bring it up to the Dr and his school. Great idea thanks!
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sandwich42plus- Im typing and reading super slow today! Yes medicaid really needs to be in this time era! Very true and you have the right ways to tell them" wired differently" Neighbors and some family dont get either that or mental disorder grr. Im so sorry about them advancing your son like that, he couldnt switch it? I wish him luck if he stays in, just because any child does perfect in one class doesnt mean the higher one is best. I know I wouldnt make it. Thank you
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The 504 plan is also written by the school - same people who wrote the IEP- but it follows the child out of highschool, wherever they go. It has to be honored by colleges, workplaces, wherever they go on to. It's part of the ADA legislation, and if anybody doesn't provide those accommodations, they can be taken to court.

For some reason I have had a REALLY hard time getting a 504 for my son. My mistake was letting them remove his IEP and not have a 504 to replace it immediately. I should not have agreed to do that until the 504 had been completed. Now I know..some good it does me.

It's a delicate thing though. It's not something the 504-owner should bring up with at a job interview! Places won't hire people who might need accommodation that costs money or sounds like trouble, but they will never tell you that's why they didn't hire because that's illegal too.
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sandwich42 my sister was dating a guy a few years ago AND he was one of the top scientists in Ireland i couldnt believe it when she told me he had "aspergers" so yes not a disability at all i mean this guy was a genius! I have a friend who is an "adhd" teacher so i know alot about it through her shes amazing with these kids so passionate about what she does!
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Yoo Hoo, Sharyn!
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Talking about kids missing recess brings back a memory of the first disagreement that I ever had with a teacher about discipline for a busy body and busy mouth. My oldest when in Kindergarten was so happy to be there, had so many friends she just could not contain herself. Her teacher to punish her started keeping her in for recess. I went to talk with the teacher and told her I thought that was exactly the wrong thing to do. Don't remember what I suggested instead, maybe extra homework or something. But, my daughter needed recess to burn up energy that was just building up if she stayed in. While I don't remember the outcome it must have worked since I don't think there were any lingering repercussions.
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WHOO HOO...ethan and logan born c-section at 12;11 am. Ethan is 6.11 and logan is 5.14. One looks like my daughter (logan) and ethan looks like my sil!! They are so adorable, I am in love!!
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