The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

50sChild - My parents grew up in the depression, but had me late. All my peers' parents were a good 15 years or more younger than mine. I am a GenXer & child of the 80s.

I lived with frugal before it was hip. We stockpiled before coupon queens. We made it do or did without before it was green. Home-made everything, garden, rarely going out to eat or for entertainment.

Then it turned into pathological hoarding for my mom. My dad passed at 56 from the stress of living with her.

From my view here on the totem pole, we grew up hearing stories of great jobs with security, good dependable benefits, retirement, pension, promotions, and it all sounded great. Work your way up. Work hard & you'll be taken care of. Us kids of the 80s didn't get that deal, but we made do. We show up, we work hard, and put in a fair day's work and then some. Corporate culture changed to be very disloyal to labor. No job security. Benefits that change on the wind, always to be less than before. The end of pension and a predictable retirement. Work until you are hospitalized from exhaustion and divorced, but the company owes you zip for the loyalty & effort. You'll be downsized next quarter anyway because headcount is too high for the accountants & shareholders. Nobody is valuable. No skills are that important. Personnel has a revolving door. Everybody is now an independent contractor without benefits.

Promotions? Don't hold your breath. There's a cohort who could have retired years ago, but won't because the economy is too unstable. There they sit, long past the rule of 90, blocking change, blocking progress, blocking everything. These are the managers scaling back benefits, rewards, and security. I am so tired of working with people who will change nothing because "I'm going to retire". I've heard that for years and have quit believing it. We have some of the oldest systems to support because they can't be retired or replaced because of a few people with titles who don't want to learn something new. It's very expensive and inefficient to run this way, and galls me to no end when I hear "no salary increases this year...again for the 5th year running". No training budget, no payment for the required certification continuing ed credits you have to have, no books, no no no no no no. Say no to your dreams. What are you going to do, complain?

When someone finally retires, that position is gone. It's not backfilled with somebody else who may deserve it. It's eliminated for budget reasons, so attrition eliminates jobs and opportunities.

There are tons of articles about this phenomenon and how its affected the 40+ crowd in the work force. I've never worked in a good economy. I've never been in a company that rewarded the workforce for loyalty and effort or capability. The past 20 years of my life have been spent trying to hang on, be value-add to a bunch of out of touch management who couldn't work their way out of a paper bag and who are responsible for a lot of the bad business maneuvers these past decades. Who treated everyone like they are disposable tissues, while raking in the perks and bennies the rest of us are deprived of.

Most of my peers are resigned that this is it. We've peaked and will now be leap-frogged by these incoming Millenials who whine if they don't get a promotion after orientation is over. They are mostly insufferable. I'm sure there are individual exceptions to everything. But in general, we're tired and have stopped having ambition & goals. We now have teenagers and elderly dependent parents. Work culture is by & large viscous and very unforgiving to anyone who needs flexibility to deal with life. Obviously, your priorities are wrong if you are taking time of for family things.

I don't know about Love, but I do know what I've lived through. Crap economies that just keep getting crappier, lots of wars to pay for, crap corporate overlords who just take every drop of blood and sweat you have, crap support, crap fair rewards for the hard work. Some days I wished I had just become an alpaca farmer out in the middle of Nowhere, Idaho.

Good news though. At least we're not Millenials with hundreds of thousands of dollars of education and credit card debt, an upside down mortgage, and no hope of ever being home owners or buying a car because they've filed bankruptcy two or three times by now. It can always be worse.

I am crabby and and going to bed so I can get up and do my 110% best for no reason other than the reward of its virtue.

Sandwich~you said much that is very true. I didn't want to go into a long post but...just humor me now, LOL!!! While in Idaho, called my sis just to chat and catch up. Something was said about my grandson's regarding feeding. My sis replied that she gave her daughter's baby cereal within a week so they would sleep through the night. Her daughter's were born in early 70's, it was standard procedure then. I responded with, they don't do that anymore, they wait until the baby is 6 months to introduce other foods due to immature tummy and allergies. Sis jumped on her soap box about how she should have had her kids taken away and charges of child abuse brought on her due to the things she did and her kids survived!! She went on for over 15 minutes...I finally referred to her as "Dr K", saying you should get a talk show or radio talk show so you can set the world right. Then she went into the whole Autism issue saying that we are doing something wrong because so many children are diagnosed with Autism today and when we were growing up, you never heard of it. I tried to educated her about the growing population, dr's are able to diagnose it accurately today where many children were just written off as "mentally retarded" or institualtionalized as mentally ill. She wanted to hear none of this Then she became angry with ME for insulting HER!!! She went on about how the younger generation has it so easy, they are pampered,etc.

I do agree with you about how the younger generation comes into the work world and they want their vacay time after 3 months of working instead of waiting one year. My sister's job is phasing her out by only giving her 20 hours a week. I am not the more informed and up to date, but my sis is still stuck in the sixties.I may be wrong, but as a 50's something employee....the employer caters to the younger people because they are the majority. You are right, there is no loyalty shown.

I finally told my sis, I did not appreciate you using this call which was meant for pleasant conversation so could monopolize the conversation about something you have no control over and cannot change other than being more informed and changing your attitude.

Sharyn, I do so get how it must have felt to have your sister go off on one about Young People Today and What The World's Coming To - ohmygod could we please for once just have an upbeat conversation??? Jaundiced people can make the world look pretty grim. And that point about how much you can get wrong and still survive somehow - that attitude makes me froth at the mouth! The fact that you just about got away with something does NOT MAKE IT A GOOD IDEA!!!

Phewf! But I'll just be working you up again. How are Brand New Grandbabies doing? My daughter's just started her first job in Neonates so I'm picturing her spending all day with ones just like them :)

thanks guys! and stiegman i have just googled "phlebitis" i wouldnt be surprised if she has this now as its caused by "inactivity". I wont go up today need a break brother will go tonight! i will go in the morning and try again to catch her doctor? this hospital is so busy its scary! nurses and staff are just stressed to the max so i dont like to bother them! No point in asking nurses anything they dont seem to be allowed to comment? But mum seems in good form like i said loving the attention! I told her that this time is her last chance IF she dosnt hand over all meds to me and i supervise them from now on then she will have to go into a home? she laughed and said "ha i cant afford a home and neither can you?" thats what she thinks! so will be going to put her name down next week as i know once shes out she will start to mess up her meds again! Nothing scares her now absolutely nothing before she would have been putty in my hands but as weak as she is shes still adamant that noone tells her what to do? This latest episode will now make her decline even more anything that makes her weak like this will progress her dementia now.
Thankgod my sister is here this wkend so i can really relax and take off somewhere of course sis is not happy and asked me if i would be AROUND?? eh no what part of im having a break to you not get? Sister fuming now as mum is weak now and if she gets out sis will have to be here 24/7 with her!! yes sister is starting to agree that a home is the only place she will be safe OF COURSE the real reason is sis knows if mums in a home she can still come home and go out with her friends and wont have to sit with mum thats her way of thinking ME ME ME!
I am beginning to see now how people with parents in homes are just as stressed as having them at home. I should be having a break but its so hard to switch off you never stop thinking about them and if they are alright? But am not going to visit today as ive lots to do for ME!
Hugs all!

Good for YOU, KAZZ! Stand your ground

Sharynmarie,

WOW! You had a conversation with an expert of sorts! HAAH!
She's just trying to rain on your parade, shame on her.
If she tries this again, please tell her to stop it.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Sandwich,

Many baby boomers lost jobs, because of past presidents cutting budgets. This happened to me a couple of times. I know of situations also where companies were bought out, then the new owners do not honor the senority system whatsoever, so old employees have to start at the bottom. The other thing at least I know in my situation.......is, once the computer age took over, many of us, who were in office jobs, using a typewriter.......well guess what, some of us got the ax. Lucky if you were part of a company who retrained their employees. Lot's of things change over the years, it can be for different reasons, but we all have experienced this, too.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Emjo,

So happy to see you posting again, and good that your health is improving!

Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Even with all the crap there is to deal with, I choose to be happy (most of the time!) It's work to be happy. Happy is not easy at all. Happy takes a heck of a lot of purpose.

Sharynmarie - feeding "rules" have changed a lot since I had mine 15 & 13 years ago. I just tell new moms to follow their instincts and never ever ever disparage that little inside voice. Our son didn't sleep hardly at all. He was mad about being born and didn't get over it for years. I thought I was in a test of human endurance based on long periods of no sleep. Jet lag was nothing compared to this. My husband - out of sheer desperation - made him a cereal bottle with baby rice flakes, formula, applesauce. It was like a warm slurry. He cut an X in the bottle nipple. I about had a stroke and sideways cow when I found him feeding this to our son. At that time, cereals were to wait until 6 months and you started with rice, then oatmeal, then on to one vegetable at a time. Ceral & applesauce together were breaking ALL the rules! I'm pretty sure I screamed "WHATAREYOUDOING!" at him.

I had to eat crow on that one because our baby slept for 6 hours in a row for the first time in his little 4 months of life. I capitualted because sleep was good. It was the first of many parenting decisions that felt wrong. As he got older, we thickened it up until he stopped the bedtime feeding and had gone totally to solids. My husband happily shares "the recipe" when he comes across somebody with a new baby. It's funny.

I found my MIL giving him diet coke and cake frosting at 9 months. WHATAREYOUDOING!!!

The last baby born in the family 3 years ago was fed using the "whatever she likes" method, per the pediatrician. I couldn't believe it. That mom hadn't been told to steer clear of honey, corn, nuts, or the other allergens I had been sternly warned about putting into my kids too early. There was no order to introducing new foods. WHATAREYOUDOING!!!!

sandwich, I think the oddest feeding theory I've seen was about 8 years ago. The mom was nursing exactly 11 minutes, on exact 3 hour schedule. No leeway for a sleeping baby or a child still being hungry. She even woke the baby up to feed her. I am surprised that the mom you mention wasn't told about honey and small ones.

I have talked about my nasty sister a lot on here. Well maybe there is hope. She drove up from San Diego yesterday and took my mom to the pain management doctor because I am done with this. The doc actually put her on a 25 mg fentenyl patch in addition to her 6 oxys a day. Could not believe it and he wants mom to get another x ray and mri and sis said that she would come up and take her to the doc to get the results! What happened to my sister and where has she gone. lol. I am not complaining at all, I am very appreciative.

Fligirl that is a RESULT!!! Long may her sleeves stay rolled up! Really happy for you that she's joined the team :)

Fligirl, WONDERFUL! I have a couple of phone number for you if you think your sis would call my two twisted sisters and have a chat with them. But you shouldn't press your luck. LOL!!

Margeaux = I have seen a lot of things that don't make sense. One is how one group won't retire, but at the same time, I've worked in places where anybody getting near 50 magically got downsized. Everybody knew that you better have your consulting resume ready to go because you were going to get the axe. But it was done in a way so nobody could claim age discrimination. It was just position elimination. And a pep talk after with the remaining staff about doing more with less. I asked one day who is Les and when can I get him on my project because we are all worked to death. ;-) I have a new colleague at work, and the company she came from expected employees to make up vacation and sick time. As in work unpaid overtime to compensate for those hours off that the company gets to count as employee compensation at tax time. She said it was normal for people to put in twice the hours they had taken off to be considered "made up". And they wonder why people unionize.

Linda22 = I never could make heads or tails of those strict feeding schedules and figure out when my bathroom break was. I just went "hippie" and fed the baby when it was hungry. That was about as complicated as my mommy brain could handle at the time.

Fligirl = Miracles do happen sometimes I guess!

Emjo = how are you doing? You're too quiet! Miss you!

Sharyn = Baby report! Are they sleeping oK? How are they eating? How's your daughter feeling?

Glad, Countrymouse = hope all is well and if not well then at least tolerable!

Kazzaa = how goes the battle? Have you stormed the castle yet?

I hope everyone is taking care. We did a health screening fair at work today and I got my giant blinking neon sign from the universe to lose weight or I'm going to end up with the same health problems as my mom and I can NOT have that.

fligirl -that is great you sister is willing to help-praise her to the sky let her know how helpful it is to you to have her pitch in and help

CM~Yes, just once I would like to call her and not have her take over the conversation about herself. I do understand that her health issues are always on her mind so I do cut her slack for that but geez....lets not take on the worlds issues too, LOL!!

Margeaux~I just call her "Dr K", that should be enough for her to know enough is enough...if not...I can claim my phone died!!!

Kazza~Hope you able to get some rest and enjoy the time out while your sis takes care of business.

Fligirl~Happy your sister is stepping up to the plate.

Boogs~Sibs most commonly have become so detached from the family origin, they just don't understand or see the need to help...they have moved on.

Many things going on...first I just want to say that I am too old to play games and over the years I have had many hobbies to keep me grounded. My recent hobby has been photography....well so be it....if hubs has finally found a hobby other than tv...good for him.!!

My daughter is doing well but bp is still an issue due to the blood loss and her body having to recoup the loss.Her hubs takes the 10pm-6am shift and she has 6am-2pm then they both work together from 2-10pm. The boys have regained up to their birth weights

I had to order new scripts for my mom as the facility's pharmacy would not refill the Lexapro from the original script since it was filled through RiteAid. The dr. faxed the facility their script and we picked up another script locally so mom would not run out in the interim.

My glasses broke so I am wearing an old pair and I feel like I am walking on water....oozy feeling when looking at a distance. Appt on the 16th. Got nails filled today and off Thursday/Friday so lots to catch up on with mom and sending out baby pics to family.

Me1000~Hang in there and when you are ready to come back here, we will be here. It is true that only you can change your situation. Yes it will mean P!$$ing off family members...your choices are...how dependent are you on your family for survival ($$ and what support they offer you in helping with your children and you getting a job)....and....how attached you are to them for their approval??? Sometimes we need to decide that their approval will never come and when you realize that...you will move on easily. Hugs to you!!

Hi everyone,

Mum still in hospital and still no word as to when shes coming out? almost a wk now and no show with docs?

I am going up tonight to see if i can get any info?

I just dont know i never get a break sis home tomorrow and mum may be in for the wkend??????? this happened before sis came home when mum was in respite? So ill bet mum is kept in sis gets to party with friends and dosnt get to look after mum at all? then they let her out when sis gone and its me again?

Anyway will know more tonight hopefully something must have happened to her maybe a clot or something but like i said i still dont know? I will ask the nurse to tell me something as im beginning to worry now?

Fligirl great your getting sis to help!! Now shell appreciate what you do!

Mums in hospital a week now and its only today ive calmed down and feel relaxed thats a whole week it takes a carer to learn to relax then just when youre relaxing a bit shell be back?

Hugs to all have no time to read ive got TV to watch!!!!!!!!!

Awful...my dad is back in the hospital on the same day as his chemo treatment for non-Hodgkins lymphoma. He's so scared he won't make it out. Meanwhile my mom becomes (as usual) overly needy and claims to be in constant pain from her knee. She has scleroderma but she's been repeatedly reminded her disease will NOT end her life. God forbid anyone be more ill or in pain than the martyr. I'm dealing with my father and we are bringing in the last of our almond crop. I'm losing patience with mom by the hour. Frustrated and trapped, I need somewhere to run to...besides the hospital. 51 yrs of listening to the endless whining and health comparisons (making she hers is the worst of course) is ENOUGH.

Thanks all, I am so grateful and feel relieved.

sandwich. Margeaux, Austin, Sharyn. and others - thanks - still recovering though doing much better. Headaches off and on which make me disinclined to post much and I am behind with reading.

My, what lives we have had and are still having in our dysfunctional families. They have a talent for making difficult things more difficult.

cm - hope your mother is OK from the fall. That is another thing that will never take my mother. She probably has better balance than I do.

kaz - glad to see you post and that you are OK and starting to unwind. I know it takes a while. Hope that you get some info from the docs.

me - I see you getting closer and closer to the end of your tether. Prayers for good decisions.

hi to the newbies - needy people - Oh, dear. That is very much part of the scene and so draining.

The SW called yesterday and my sister sent nighties for mother They are such thin cotton (cotton lawn) they are see-through. The SW asked if I could find some others or a dressing gown. I do wish they had asked for these things before I put mother's stuff in storage. Sis never sent mother anything like that before. She has sent mother many nighties and all good quality cotton. Sis wore something like that when she last visited me, (many years ago) and it was see-through, so I know what the SW means. I had two teenage sons in the house at the time and was shocked. I took one of my dressing gowns and handed it to her and told her to wear it as she couldn't wear see-through in front of my boys. Aaargh!. So, after a long chat with the SW, I spent hours on the internet looking for the nighties that I know mother would wear. There are some in the US, but they do not ship to Canada. There are lots that I think are fine but I know mother won't wear them. Finally found some but couldn't order online from Canada so have to call them. I ordered some tops for mother that the SW recommended, but, on reflection, I doubt she will wear them either, but it is done now. I think a store here has some that are better, now as the winter clothing has come in. When she leaves the hospital I will gather the clothing that she isn't wearing that I have bought her and donate it to a thrift shop. I am sure there will be quite a lot.

Flurries of activity with G home all week and bigwig meetings going on. He multitasks at a pace and works from home at times. I help him with some presentation stuff, as I did years of that teaching and enjoy it, and also some invoicing for his side line. He bounces work situations off me and sometimes I have useful input. But, nowadays it makes my head spin a bit and I have to be sure to eat and sleep when I need to. That is one thing that still remains from this infection - when I need to eat I need to eat. I have gone on a restricted carb diet which should get my metabolism sorted out.

We didn't have snow here though many places south did. Today it is lovely. In a couple of weeks, I am going with G to his meeting in the east and have asked that we stay another few days and see the fall colouring. I haven't seen it in years and it is on my bucket list.

Nearly got the insurance stuff sorted out, I am asking how much it will affect my premiums and have also put in a claim to the city as it was their problem.

Glad - how is your home disaster? I hope your insurance company is better than mine.

Talking about clearing things out as a few of us have been doing, I have started and have a pile of stuff for my son and dil's church garage sale. I know there is more, but may not get at it in time. I will get my oldest grandson over to help cart stuff from the garage back into the basement and to clean out my frig. he does a decent job of that and can use the extra money.

Re recovering from the stress caused by things are getting worse and worse before someone will act to help our parent, it takes a while. I find that it doesn't take much to get me back into the stress mode, but that is improving. I suppose it is the learned response of a lifetime. I feel a greater and greater emotional distance from mother which is good for me and I doubt makes much difference for her. The narcissist will always find another "victim". I read somewhere and wish I had kept it, something about us not living our parents lives for them. I see a lot of that on here, where the offspring is, in my view, too attached to their parent in an unhealthy way, worry too much about them and so one. Been there, done that, and learning not too. Mother was handed her lot in life, as all of us are, and she made her choices. It is not my role to suffer the consequences of her choices - not my circus, not my monkeys. Detached compassion is good, enmeshed dependence isn't. My two cents for today.

Hi to everyone I have missed - alison - let us know the plan you are devising, fligirl, hope sis really is helpful. book - are you looking after you, 50s child - no one booted you off. Do come back regularly if it helps. I keep wondering how sad one is. Loo - distance seems to be working for you. Whoever I have missed - not intentional, ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))) to all and look after you.

The day from he!!

Went to go through textiles from my house. Cleaning bill was going to be over $9,000.00. So, I decided to really weed out, simplify, downsize, etc. Ended up getting rid of about 80% of what was there. The insurance company will pay me the difference based on remaining inventory. Best things I found today were Halloween costumes I had made for my kids when they were small. Then favorite of all time are two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes I made for my two youngest. Those two were practically joined at the hip. Pleasant memories.

Took about two hours to go through the stuff. Ten minute later on the way home I receive a call from Mom's day program. She was in excruciating pain. OK, mom had the intestinal blockage several months ago, that must be it, I thought. Took her to ER, CT scan of belly, wait 1.5 hours for result. This woman/mom of mine that has had chronic diarrhea all my life, is CONSTIPATED?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING! Who the heck knows any more! So they got her flushed out and brought her home. And naturally the entire four hours we were there, she just does not understand why she is there and she feels fine...

Oh and L was here at home, cannot leave him for more than an hour or two. Had a neighbor, that I would not want to be without come over while I was working with textiles. Didn't know I would have to fit a hospital trip in there too. So called agency caregiver to come help L with dinner. She is another person I could not do without. Got home about 5:30, caregiver had supper with L while I got Mom in the tub. After all hair day is tomorrow. All quiet. Until..

My daughter called, someone had tried to pick her seven year old daughter up this afternoon. She is in a track club after school and didn't think anybody was picking her up. She told the person she didn't need a ride, then ran and hid. Daughter found her somehow, and was on the way to the police station when she called me. What in the heck?! Coaches of grade school age kids don't check that the children have rides home?!! My daughter coaches high school track and cross country and she stays to make sure her athletes are picked up by parents or other designee. And the elementary coaches don't do the same?! And it is about a 3 mile walk from the school to home, in this somewhat rural area!

The last pushed me over the edge. Just too much for one day. Hospital with mom and TS's only send a text saying thanks for updates?! Just spiffy! At least guardian got the messages too. It is a fairly normal reaction from dear, sweet sissies!

I have had enough for one day thank you very much.

I am glad I am 60 miles away from my house. Asked my son to go by there today to check progress. All carpet is out, walls and ceilings down to studs, so looking much better than it did two weeks ago. I am now starting to think about shopping for new bathroom fixtures, sheets, towels, etc. Would really like to find a couple of recently priced class foot tubs for two bathrooms. Would really like to try to do it nicely and somewhat authentic to the early 1900's. That will be the fun part.

Nighty night.

Decently priced claw foot tubs. Gotta love spell checkers.

Glad wow - scary about your granddaughter. She did the right thing. Sounds like the process of house recovery is on its way. That was some day Good your mum is OK now and that you have some reliable help.

Sharyn I was wondering how your daughter was doing. She had quite a blood loss and then looking after twins is a lot of work. I imagine she and her hubs will be very tired for quite a while - which is pretty normal. My friend who recently moved to another city just became a grandma - took possession of their new to them house and became a grandma on the same day. She has a handsome red headed - just like his dad - grandson. Love babies!

Glad~How scary for your granddaughter, daughter and you!!! When my first was born in 1980, the kidnapping issue was just becoming "BIG". I worried so much about my kids. Now I have 2 grandsons to start worrying about....I know the girls are bigger targets, but it does happen to boys too. It does sound like your insurance is a good one...a lot of work for you. I love the claw tubs, wish I had a big bathroom to one in with the whole 1900's decor.

Joan~My daughter is doing much better the last 4 days...no heart palpitations or shortness of breath, her bp is still high but dr's aren't worried. Her hubs is so attentive, he stayed with her in the hospital the entire time. The dr said if she is up to driving the car, she can...her hubs says to wait at least 2 weeks post op, LOL!! She does worry about the boys being most fussy during the night shift for her hubs. He was hesitant on having children but did agree...so dd feels he made a big sacrifice with twins...he is handling it well so unfounded guilt for her to work through. Of course I can't get info updates from her on the boys...I just wish I could hold and cuddle them daily!!! Aww...a handsome redhead...that is great for your friend. I get to post 1 pic of boys on fb on my profile page...both have dark hair and a good amount...of course my hubs family is claiming both boys have this and that from the "W" side, LOL!!

I received a call from the facility tonight while at work. The med tech told me to please not get anymore refills from Rite Aid for Spiriva???? The Lexapro is the only med we got from Rite Aid. I think she confused patients but will go to Rite Aid tomorrow to ask if they have been refilling scripts for Spirvia..If they are...who the heck is picking them up? The med tech sounded frustrated about this but I do think she called me in error.

Hubs came home from work early yesterday (before I had to leave for work)...his bs dropped into the 60's. First time that has happened. He got it back up after eating, but had a bad headache. He doesn't know what brought it on...he is watching what he eats since his dr referred him to an endocrinologist. Maybe just an adjustment period. Or maybe too much insulin and will need to readjust it.

A long winded post but not unusual for me, LOL!!! I can't wait to get my eye examine and new glasses...this old pair has limitations. Just waiting for an autumn cool down here...still in the 90's...UGH!!! Take care everyone!!

Glad - I'm soooo glad that your granddaughter was smart enough to know how to respond to such a situation. On a neighboring island, 2 young sisters (elementary age) were seen walking to the bus stop. That was the last time anyone saw them. No body found. They're currently a cold case. It's so scary nowadays. Children are no longer safe to even play in their own yard. I'm just soooo glad that she's okay. I was worried as I was reading your post.

Emjo, how you struggle to order things from the US to send to Canada is the same as me trying to order things from the US or China or Hong Kong. They always exclude us. When I was looking for hospital gowns for mom, the ones found here on island are for Big people. Most of the islanders tend to be big. Mom was small. So, I ended up having to order it online. The small was still big but at least it wasn't a tent like the ones I bought here. Sorry that your health is still not up to par.

Hello, all.

Emjo, no plan. This is thee problem. I need to come up with one but I'm stalled out at the moment. I'm trying not to get too frustrated with myself or my dad, not seeking to "blame" anyone or anything, just want to get moving in a (as yet unknown) direction. :-)

I'm reading on here and if anything actually happens, I'd love to share on here, but right now there's very little besides everyday mundane stuff happening. I even cancelled all my father's upcoming non-critical medical appointments, did I mention that? I'm just not at all convinced that the new PCP/clinic doesn't see him as a cash cow. The amount of appointments ordered for him were at the rate of about 1 per week for the past few months, but not many of those appointments were justified, I felt. So I have them cancelled/postponed for now (keeping important ones, of course) and talked to my dad about why I cancelled them.

No one gave me a rule book for this crazy life. But I'm fine, if more than a little lazy and non-productive past month. Oh, well. Hugs to all!

Oh! The Great news is, the depression I was feeling has definitely lifted. I read a little about depressive episodes online, and I don't have a clue if that was what happened, if it was just something caused by being off hormones for a couple months... I don't know. But it is not present any longer and I'm very glad for that.

I hope everyone stays as healthy and as well as possible. Life is so much better when you're not ill or feeling run down. Please take good care of yourselves. Happy Thursday!

I have a brother who is a self-made billionaire and he is the greediest person one can ever imagine. Not only greedy but excessively selfish as well. He defrauded our mother out of her half of their partnership when he was just 25 years old by threatening to not be her son anymore if she didn’t rescind the contract. He has restricted his own family’s spending to the point where his wife feels resentful of anyone that even asks for financial help. He is extremely envious of siblings in any successes they may have and revels in any of their failures. He barely helps to financially support our parents and brags about it, yet his annual contribution equals about $50 of my household’s income as a percentage of his income and he still wants siblings to do more! He threatened to put my mom on welfare recently and he reconsidered when she said he’d better not dare do that. He is devious, cunning, and shameful in all aspects of business and personal life and I am ashamed of him. His attitude and behavior towards his parents and siblings is atrocious and has destroyed our family.

In March this year he was in a horrific car accident that nearly took his life. He is now a paraplegic. During his lengthy recovery, his heart softened and he reached out to family and several siblings visited him. Then he went back to his old ways. Just last week he offered our very ill and elderly mom financial help because she needs part-time care, then he revoked the offer. I was so furious I called him and asked why. He avoided the question and then said he wanted more contribution from other siblings. I told him I was ashamed and embarrassed of him. On Tuesday I sent him a text message and told him not to use money to wield power and control over people, especially family. I think he was tired of the pestering and gave in as he called my mom that evening and said he would pay the care-giver directly.

I believe my brother is sociopathic and if that's the case, he will never change and this situation is beyond comprehension, who would ever believe a person could be so evil?

Michelle I think you assessment of your brother is pretty accurate and I would not trust him with anything much less trust him to follow through with any financial help. leopards don't change their spots so keep him on the arms length list. horrific accident or not he will bounce back to being his normal objectionable self or even worse because the accident was "unfair"

Ok, those of you who know me..know that I over react at times...so...here goes maybe over thinking or not.

Last night at work I was filtering the fryer and having some complications due my own fault of putting it together wrong so I had to bail the hot oil out from the bottom and then put it together right so it would filter the oil up to the top. All morning I have been busy with things here in the house. When I got in my car driving with my right arm folded...I noticed a burning sensation. I looked at my arm and right on the outside of the bend/elbow I see a red area...I touch it and it is rough and bumpy.I have another very small area on my forearm...I am feeling the burning sensation now even in the house...am wondering how I didn't feel a burn last night after working with the fryer and it only shows up today? I am going to watch this...the rough/bumpy appearance is making me think shingles??