
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
I understand your reluctance to take on more projects. I never want to see another one after the renos we went through here after the fire/flooding. I am sorry about the troubles you are having with your new financial advisor. It is important to have good service from them.
Mother does not know about any upcoming changes yet. She will be told the morning of the assessment. I will be there in the afternoon to discuss the options, and expect her to be upset. Oh well, it has to be done. Hope you get to some gardening.
Bengals are beautiful, they are smart, they are amusing but they are also a giant pain in the ____! Very high maintenance, this was my husbands idea, not mine. I would have been just fine with a shelter cat but Nooooooo, he had to have exotics! He never showed the slightest bit of interest in cats. When I met him, I had the sweetest little black cat I adored. He was hit by a car and it just about killed me. So, I was in no hurry to rush out and replace him even though everyone tried to give me a cat after that! I had to grieve. Thinking husband was not remotely interested in cats, he barely ever glanced at my cat when he was alive, I figured he just wasn't a cat person. Then, one day a co-worker offered me a Savannah kitten for free. I had never heard of one so I looked it up and joked to husband a friend offered this to us. He got so excited!!!! Tell him yes, we will take it! I was shocked. I said, "I didn't think you liked cats!" He said, "I have always wanted an exotic cat!" Well, thank God the friend changed his mind and kept the Savannah for himself, I would later hear stories that really made me really grateful 😉 like him tearing the screen door off the frame! Anyway, husband being disheartened found the Bengal Breed and told me they are average house cat size. So, I gave in. Let's just say, they are NOT your average housecat and are quite demanding! We had to put interior locks into certain rooms because one would jump up, pull the lever down and get into the rooms we did not want them in unsupervised. They don't get along, one always chasing the other, I will not have anymore creatures in the house after they live out their lives. Too much.
What nerve to tell you that YOU are confused! Glad to hear however that it is just one idiot rather than a team of them!
I wish you luck with Mom, can't say I envy you but gotta do what you gotta do! *Hugs*
A lazy day even though I have much to do. Our dd's in- laws will be arriving on Friday, I will have some time to unpack more while they are staying my dd and son- in- law. The boys 3rd b- day is coming up next week!!
The insurance office is in Calgary and R and I will be down there in the next week or two. I will try one more email to the adjuster explaining things again in words of one syllable. I now know what it is she is not getting.
Boy's third b'day. Wow! Time flies!!! They will be in school before you know it. Nice that the other set of grandparents will be around for a while. It gives you a break. Enjoy!!!
Yes, I am looking forward to a break, plus I like that the boys can have good relationships with both sides re grandparents.
Thx trying - hoping for a good year.
I checked off another item. I found a meditation coach willing to donate 4 hrs a week teaching meditation techniques.
Golden, I have known PJ a long time. Thirty years August 7th. We met at preseason football camp and have been good friends ever since.
sharyn - I think there is some of that going on with the adjuster's supervisor. I am about ready to pull rank on him. I don't do that often, but I was probably teaching at university before he was out of diapers. He will NOT lump me in with the adjuster as us both being confused. I question his reading skills too and am thinking of going over his head. I hope your situation is corrected.
As for the mice, amazing. I just get the jebee geebees when they are around. Still haven't seen one in a while. The house is old, lots of cracks and openings though floors along walls.One neighbor had an exterminator come and they put some type of gas in a pipe or whole by the cellar and the mice came out 2 buckets worth. That was not a good scene. Part of city living unless its newly built and sealed. Cat? My nephew found a cat and bought her home. Her name is Minnie. The meanest thing you ever met. The poor dog was big but still a pup and she would smack him up and scratch him whenever he passed. Poor Prince. Then next you know they sleep together In front of my mothers door. Minnie will lash out if you look like you going to touch her, except for my nephew. But she has no problem begging for food or running in kitchen when she smells tuna fish or salmon or food! She has never caught a mouse. I told my nephew to take her home with him because she getting paid but not doing her job. lol. Now my neighbor and good friend has a cat that is a natural hunter. She kills birds and squirrels imagine that. My neighbor said she killed a bird one morning and all the birds were around the fence making so much noise she was scared to go out for a while. I would have to get a cat that eats her kill though. I had one cat he would take the heads leave the bodies. Yikes! Got him for my son. Our first cat, loved him to death. Thought he was a girl and named him Princess. Then had to have him fixed because of the spraying he stayed Princess. Im getting ready digress into cat stories. I haven't seen one in a while, New York mice are real smart. I thing they pass on genetic information. Sometimes they maneuver around traps and don't eat the posion, I don't care what you mix in. Then other times you get a breed that falls for everything. Oh brother!!!
Yes 30 years is a long time. His son's and grandsons are promoting marriage. I accuse them of believing they will have a neverending supply of fried chicken and mashed potatoes if there is a wedding. PJ and I talk about it...but that's all it is at this point. May happen, may not.
My Charlie-girl, a Chihuahua Maltese mix, is a wee bitty thing at barely 5#, is so attached to me that it makes leaving her a real PITB! I do Love her to bits though, and can't imagine my life without her now. She's nearly 4, and Chihuahuas often live to be 15-18 years old, so this will be my first and only dog ever, as they are a lot of work, especially that first puppy year!
We had an incredible viewing of the Eclipse yesterday, at about 90%, and it was quite eerie, as even the birds were acting funny, and the shadows it made were different, quite lacey.
Speaking of birds, our house buts up against a greenbelt, so we've got loads of trees all around the back yard. I only just noticed this very strange bird hanging about, with a long neck and long beak, and he has a very loud and repetitive squawk that sounds like "What, What, What"! Lol!
So I looked him up on Google, and found out he's a baby blue heron, and now, since I've been paying attention, there's actually 3 of them.
They are super fun to watch, but drive Charlie-girl Crazy! She's small but Mighty, and Loves to chase birds and squirrels! Not sure if I wrote it here, but the other day she chased a squirrel, and in his excitement, the squirrel fell from up above in the tree about 20 feet or so, and landed 2 feet from Charlie. The squirrel landed with a thump, he and Charlie stared at each other for about 2 loooong seconds, and I screamed NO to Charlie, and the squirrel chased off. I was so worried that it might bite her in defense, but nope, he was just as freaked out by the fall as Charlie and me! That was a crazy experience!
Everything is going fine here! I'll leave it at that. BORING!
Oh, last night I snuck out at 8pm to the Casino for a couple of hours, just to get out of the house, and won 250! Tonight hubby is trying his luck! One day we will be able to both go out together again, but for now, we'll make do. 😉 HUGS YA'LL!
duck - there are cats and there are cats. My last one was a large tabby and he caught birds and small vermin regularly and once (that I know of) a rabbit. He usually bit the heads off. I don't mind mice but am used to field mice which are different, and cuter to me,
glad - Uffda indeed! It will be the 5th move in 8 years. This one should be easy as she has little furniture/belongings and will need less than that where she is going. We will have to go through her clothing etc. I am not sure how much she will need there. My concern is getting through my cataract ops and time to heal from them, hopefully before moving her again.
upset - thanks. It is the frustration which is the hardest part. I just want it over. I am waiting for another email from the superviser. All he has done is listen to the adjuster, who does not know what she is doing, so neither does he. I am not impressed. I understand about the "may happen, may not." But it is nice to have a companion and a helper. My introvert tendencies are growing as I get older. I love it when R comes, and I love it when he leaves.
stacey - poor Charlie being faced with a squirrel!!! They live 15-8 years???? That's a long time! We have blue herons here too. They are interesting birds. A little "boring" in caregiving is not a bad thing. I am glad you were able to get out.
Getting some energy back after that flu. Cooking and laundry today. Shopping tomorrow before R comes. Hoping to get a decent night's sleep tonight. This is maybe a terrible thing to say, but, I am also hoping I will be free of caregiving by the time I am 85!!!
Nite all.
Golden: I wish you success. Sometimes one on one is the best. Or get past the lumpheads to the supervisor who may also be lumpheads. Dang!!
Oh, I came back on to share that I just saw my great nephew on utube interview, he has skills skateboarding at 8yrs old. I haven't seen him in like 4yrs. I can't stop smiling. Wow!!. Boy was it great to see him!! Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow!!!
Gold, be sure and get your flu shot the season is coming up. I don't know if your season is past but get one anyway there are different strains. Be protected. I got the flu 20 something years ago. It hit me hard I can see why it can cause death. I felt worse then then I did when I got pneumonia and almost died serveral years after911. I got use to the cough but I didn't feel half as bad. Heads up everybody, get that flu shot.
Good nite Gold, Good nite all, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite!
Just looked up a Sphinx Moth, Wow!!!! I saw a huge grey moth years ago in Napa, had no idea what kind but it made a big enough impact on me to take a picture!
I went thru a couple of more boxes last evening. Mostly it was old junk. But I did find some Navy paperwork of my dad's my brother wanted. The last 2.5 years of WWII my dad was in the same flight wing squadron with Pres George HW Bush. My Dad gave my brother his flight book which Pres Bush had signed every time they flew a mission. We have an old album with pics. The last year of the war they flew in air shows in the US to raise money for war bonds. This evening I found a letter Bush wrote for my Dad stating he should attend college because of his exceptional math skills )Dad ended up going to WVTech and being a mechanical engineer. There was also their squadron discharge With everyone's home address. My dad said he didn't know him well, he was an officer and my dad was an enlisted guy. He said he was always very nice and very considerate. He said he always got a lot of packages from his mother and wife and always shared all of his goodies. My brother will be pleased that I found them.
They've dug the footers for the footers of the addition. They will pour them tomorrow and then will let them set - be back Monday. So there's progress.
I got up at 4;30. I've got bread rising and cinnamon on rolls. Going to take cinnamon rolls over to PJ's between 7;30-8:00. He's usually back from the gym and boys getting up. They just have a week of summer vacation left. They go back Wed after Labor Day.
Rainey, Bengals are beautiful cats. I think they may be too high energy for me. I love cats and will probably always have one. My Tiger is a buff tabby. My dd recused him while on College back in 2004. Her class schedule kept her away so I fed him and of course, he attached to me. He is 14 now and a love bug.
Gearing up for thunder showers today, normal for high desert summers.
He is now pressing my husband to want Me to talk with his wife, thinking that she can pressure me to let them come and stay in our home, and he even went so far as to say that He and my husband could SHARE POA duties, in Them Helping us to care for their Dad, WHAT?!!!
I don't know where he came up with this kockamamy idea, but that's just Not going to happen! As if my husband can even make such a decision to SHARE POA duties, it's rediculous talking. Nothing like riding in on your Big White Horse at the last minute and all! Sheesh!
Hubby thinks he's just trying to find a sliver of an opening, to try to get his hands on his Dad's money (as if we would ever leave them alone to tend to him in our home) in any way possible, and that My generous spirit would be open to discussing this with his 10th or 11th wife, UMMMM NO! It's craziness talk, and I refuse to engage in it. Now I won't even answer the phone to their calls.
Hubby's 1/2 older sister said (hubby called her trying to get some clarity on this situation) that when he and his wife visited her, that they free loaded at her place with No money to even leave to go back to their home, and that she had to pay them gas money just to leave. She also said that there was jewelry and other things missing from her place, as she had to be away at work on the day they packed up their things and left. Also that she found they had stashed or dumped things behind her garage in bushes, not sure if they intended to come back for them, or just trashed them there.
Oh No, we are taking every precaution to only allow supervised visit, if they even come to visit him at all!
I have pushed for phone conversations with Dad at his best time of day, that way, he will have had every opportunity to chat with him, and hopefully realize that he just isn't up for Long visits, and leave it at that! Plush, the Old Man would Never want some stranger to come and aide him in any way, it's hard enough to have me and his Son tend to such personal duties, let alone some non-medical gal he's never met before!
It's not like he has made Any effort to see him in the past 13 years! I do get that he might like to see his Dad before he dies, but in all honesty, I believe he is just up to his old trick of Conning any of us out of whatever he can get, and show up broke, and not be able to leave, forcing us to pay his way.
Hubby has told him that if he does intend to visit, that he Make his own accommodations, for travel and food, and that we are not funding them in any way, nor are we entertaining or feeding people!
I can't believe the nerve of this guy! Not gonna happen!
Whew, it feels good to get that rambling out, Sorry guys! Lol!