The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Sharyn,
I love animals too BUT...........just remember, one more thing to add on to your responsibilities! I never imagined these two cats would have added so much more work to my daily "things to do" but they certainly do! And dogs must be walked all the time, rain, sleet or snow so just be sure you are ready for that! Told my husband after the cats, no more animals unless they have scales & gills! Then we will pay a pro to clean the tank because it won't be me.
So, hubs wants the dog, will he be cleaning and walking and feeding, etc.? My hubs wanted the cats, now they are my job. He cleans out the litter boxes once a day if that and occasionally feeds them. The rest is mostly me because I am home. They are more like dogs in the way that they love being "around you" and be entertained and if you don't, they will find their own entertainment and that is usually mischief. I get a break when they are napping.
Sounds like you got a nice start on your garden! My fall clean up will be starting soon. Already starting on certain things.

Rainey, most likely the retriever will become mine since I already feed and take care of my cat and poodle. He says he will take care of it because he is retired now and has the time. We will see once the newness wears off. Who knows, he may surprise me.  This all started because our dd bought one this morning and hubs fell in love!!

The other plants pending will be the last for this year for the reason you stated.

Well I would LOVE a tea cup Chihuahua, I mean I really would love one!!! I adore those dogs! They are so precious, my heart melts everytime I see one. They have no idea how little they are, part of what I love about them. I used to play with one at a job I had. Every break the owner would let me take her and "hang out together." My favorite was watching her chasing a full grown man across the parking lot. I was doubled over in tears watching this! Wish the cell phones were capable of recording video back when that happened. It was priceless!

Oh, I have one last order of plants coming in fall. I think I just got 5. I forget because I usually have to wait a few months before they get here so I tend to forget everything I ordered. Heh heh. 😉
I think it was 5 or 6 plants. Remember me yacking on about finally planting my shade garden? Well now hubs decided he doesn't like the mulch they put there and wants a different kind. Can't say I disagree with him but now that puts off my project until labor day weekend where we can do this together. In the meantime, they are patiently waiting in their pots where I must carefully tend to them until they are finally in the ground.

Rainey I have just ordered more daffodils. They are the only bulbs the deer don't eat. Hubby cleared a lot of brush from the edge of the woods and that will be the perfect place to plant them.

Oh I love my daffodils! I will look forward to them every spring, best part is they propagate themselves! Well shall see how well all the other bulbs I planted do. Sometimes it takes a few seasons for them to really show off but the daffodils were amazing first shot! Some of my bearded irises did well, others did not flower. I will give em another season and if they still don't flower, I will dig em up and move them. Location sometimes is everything. I was late planting them too because landscapers were over a month late, I was planting all my bulbs in beginning of December. Not sure if that made any difference for some of them.

Macy, my golden retriever is not doing well, but is better than she was yesterday morning. Went to get her up to take her out, she could not walk. Happened over night. Took her to the vet yesterday, her right hip joint is shot, her left hip is great. After 24 hours now of anti-inflammatories and pain killers and glucosamine she is doing much better. She actually limped across half the yard and back. So hope a quiet weekend with her she will be doing much better by Monday. Note to self, read dosage on glucosamine, her weight three, I only gave her one yesterday. :(

Glad, how old is Macy? I read goldens are prone to joint issues starting at age 6!!

She is 11, I think, got her from a rescue so not absolutely certain. She has done quite well and hopefully is snapping out of it.

If you get a big dog, make sure you get a big dog bed! They make a pretty good gurney to pull across the floor so they don't have to walk in pain. Macy was scared at first, but now understands that it helps her. Sure would be easier if it was on wheels though!😵

We got a little boy, 9 weeks old. Hubs named him Buster. He is a cutie, a golden retriever. Our dd got one of Busters brothers. Haha!!

How nice SharynMarie...Now your baby will have a littermate to grow up with and they'll still sorta be together.I'm so happy for you and your family~

I hope people in Corpus Christi area are safe. This is a BIG storm!!

Glad, yes, I hope Macy recovers over the weekend.

Glad,
good thoughts for Macy -

Sharyn, what a doll baby! I have often been tempted by a GR puppy. Just not home enough and puppies are such high maintenance.

I need help. Please give me some input, thank you! My head cold/sinus infection is making things seem all that much more confusing today but I'm trying to make some headway. Here's my situation:

Trust has tasked me with facilitating a "clean out" of the house here. There are a couple of problems with that. One, everything that is left here is of value. There is no junk. I've gotten rid of all the junk. Now, the bulk of what is left is nice vintage furniture pieces, desks, chairs, tables, hutches, heirloom china and glassware, crystal, tools, ladders, lawn mower/tiller, etc, etc. Everything one would need to own and run a house... or several.

The trust wants to send the local charity place over to "clean out" the house. It makes sense that before I let them haul away things to dump or donate, that I would have some sort of estate sale first. I really want to hold onto some of the vintage furniture, but... I'm starting to think that isn't reasonable at this time. I'd have to store it, and the Trust said they would pay for up to a year of storage. I will ultimately end up putting some things in storage, I think. I don't see a way around that.

It's all just jumbling in my head right now. I've whittled down what's here so many times over the years and I don't have any qualms about letting go of things, it's just that once it's done, it's done. I think I would regret letting go of the beautiful furniture here, and the china.

So... estate sale? Anyone have any experience? I could just list it all online, too, as a "come look and make me an offer" type of thing. I'm not crazy about having strangers crawling over the house but there are cameras here.

I'm a little stumped how to proceed. Thing is -- I have all my household stuff in storage already, so I don't need or have extra room for this stuff right now. The pieces I want to hold onto have to go to storage and the rest to donation or perhaps sell a few things.

Ali, estate sale just a fancier name for a garage sale. Things of mom's sold for pennies on the dollar. Have the trust get a moving company to move everything you think you may want to storage. In a year who knows where you will be and it could be dealt with then. Remember in situations like this do not act out of haste, take at least a year to think about it. Things you think you may want in your apartment should be loaded first so they are near door on storage to make for easier access.

That's what I said, Glad. Take the heirloom stuff to storage first, but the Trust is saying they don't want to incur storage fees before they have to, i.e. before house is sold. Well, if they don't want to move that stuff before house is sold, why make me get rid of everything else before house is sold? They are irritating, to be sure. 

I put a craigslist ad up and posted a bunch of pictures and said "no reasonable offer refused."  I don't know that will get enough visibility, but I'm trying to do something.  There is so much here.  The snowblower and tiller are barely used.  There are tons of useful household things.  

But yes, I like the idea that I'll choose to store things that I'm not sure about, and give myself time to think about it.  Thing is, these are things I DO want down the road but having gotten myself into one situation with things in storage all these years, I'm not keen to get into another one.  

There used to be companies that would come into a home, evaluate what is there and hold the sale either on site or shipped to an auction site, is that still an option there Ali? You would have the ability to place a reserved bid on items you feel are valuable, or if buy anything you want for yourself there can be no push back later that you got something for nothing.

Ali, I haven't followed this thread at all but just stopped by. When you refer to "the Trust", do you mean the Trustee? If so, the Trustee acts on behalf of the deceased and for the benefit of the beneficiaries in administering the trust and allocating the assets per the instructions of the individual who made the Trust (presumably the deceased). I assume you're one of the beneficiaries? Who's the Trustee? A relative?

Are both of you in agreement about the furniture, etc.?

The Trust is administered by a bank, no family relation. They have said for me to dispose of all the contents of the house, and to help me do that, they're sending in a charity reseller at my convenienc to take everything I don't want away. They administer the Trust for my father's benefit until his death, but they have been clear they have no interest in the household items and what happens to them. I've put out messages to all siblings and cousins, to see if anything is wanted as heirlooms. I'm left with a household full of stuff that needs to be disposed of. It's not undoable but I think... I think what I've figured out is that the things I want to hang on to need to go to storage first.

Also, any little bit of money I could get is helpful, although not really the point. A couple people have contacted me from the ad I put online but no one has come for anything yet. If I can help set someone up with a basic "starter kit" of furniture for very cheap, that would be good. I'm hoping someone will want some of the tools and steel worktable and shelving.

Glad, he is very laid back. Of course once he is bigger, I'm sure his wagging tail will knock some things flying. He tries to follow Midget around, Midget is just not sure of him at all. She will run from him. Right now they are about the same size . His brother, dd's puppy, is the same way. I guess the breed is laid back which is good for us older folks, lol!! He will need to be walked a couple times a day though.

Alright, Alright, if we're all going to be posting pictures of our amazing Doggy's, then here is one of my Charlie-girl! Lol! Rainy, you said you liked Chihuahuas, and mine is a 5# Chihuahua Maltese mix, now nearly 4 years old, Wow, where did the time go? 

SharynM,  Congrats on your new Puppy! A Golden Lab is one of my Favorites!  So sweet,  intelligent,  and loyal to his Master! And having his brother at your Dd's house, will be Awesome!  They'll have a great time together,  and often! The twins will Love it too! 

Having a dog is a blast, until you have to go on vacation, or maybe that's just me and my spoiled pooch. She goes everywhere with us, and even has her own car seat/bed, which fits over the console between the front seats of my SUV! She love the car, anytime, anywhere, and often goes out with my husband to run errands. She is a Chick Magnet, and hubby just laps up the attention! Lol!

She is so tiny and cute! Her ears are more floppy, not as big and straight up as most Chihuahuas, so that is the Maltese in her.

The Senior food/diet dilemma......That was one of the Top 5 reasons why we wanted my FIL to go to AL in the First Place! After 13 years of him running my husband around doing his shopping, and preparing his meals, it just became such a hassle, and completely wore us out!

Here we were, both early and medically retired (me with my Arthritis and Fibromyalgia,  and hubby with a bad back), and having to prepare nutritional meals twice a day, when all we Now wanted to do was Whatever We Wanted To Do!, and that didn't include making lunch and dinner, day in and day out for years on end! We were ready to start hitting up the Senior 2-4-1 specials, meeting up with family and friends for drinks and poo-poo's on the lanais of our favorite waterfront restaurants, and FIL was a millitant self inposed shut in, who never wanted to leave his recliner, and wanted to be waited on, and On Time!

His diet wasn't so much the problem, but him not wanting to be left alone, and in the last few years as his health declined, we were afraid to leave him. We did have to be mindful of his mild Type 2 Diabetes.

What we are still fretting about is the fact that we didn't take advantage of the 9 weeks he was in AL! Grrr!

I am surprisingly adjusting pretty well to him being back here with us and on Hospice. The hardest part is the "not knowing", how long this will go on. It is a very much day to day mindset that I have to adjust to, as every morning when I pop my head in to check on him, I have to really look to see if his chest is rising and falling, as he looks .....! 

But now the Hospice Dr has started Prednisone for bone pain, and Gabapentin for his drug induced foot  Neuropathy, brought on by his last go around with Chemotherapy, 12 years ago to treat his Lymphoma. 

I tell ya, the guy is a MEDICAL ENIGMA!!! How he has pulled through so many frightful diagnosis, and come out the other side is astounding! I know that the Lung Cancer or the complications of, is going to get him in the end, but Man oh man, he sure looks and feels good today!

Our Eldest Son, DIL and Grandies popped in today, and couldn't be how great he looked! Maybe we are taking too good a care of him, Lol!

Nahh, it's just a good day, and a blessing at that, though a bit of a confusion to my 3 & 7 year old Grandson's, as the've seen him look so terrible, and try to explain in words the children can understand that Great-Grandpa is declining in health, only to find him much like his old self today, but confined to a hospital bed, and back in Nana and Grandpa's home. It must be so confusing for them!

Ah well, it may be a good day, but there are still some of those  Not So Fun "details", that I must go to attend to, so I will catch ya'll later! 

Have a Great Night!

Golden,

I understand you had a birthday this last week? Well Happy Belated!
May this be a year filled with love, health and abundance of whatever you want.

So your mother is moving again? I've been reading trying to get a handle on what's been going on last few weeks, but I didn't seem to find the exact post as to why your mother is being moved. In any case, I hope it doesn't become too stressful for you, nor her.

I agree with everyone else, that you look absolutely fabulous!
O.K., have a great vacation down south.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Sharynmarie,

How's it going in Idaho? Sounds like you are having a great time for bonding more with your grandsons.
WOW!! A new puppy? How fun.

That is good you are still keeping up your camera/photography interests. I had this little camera I bought several years ago at Cosco. Doesn't do anything too fancy, but takes decent pictures. Over a year ago, I don't know what happened, but you know that operational thing they do, where the lense collapses when not in use. That wasn't working, now was the camera. The other day, my husband decided to remove the battery and put it back in, and guess what!! The camera now works. I was happy about that, been w/o one for over a year now.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Stacey,

So it was 9 weeks FIL was at the AL? You and your husband are truly noble individuals taking him in again.
I realize that that......is a very personal choice. Oh......the feeding! Gee....I stress out at times just having to be responsible for just about anything food over here w/my husband. He doesn't cook at all, maybe once in a real blue moon some spaghetti. But to have to be on top of an elderly person's diet daily, I'm sure that must be a lot of work for you.

Bet your little dog is real cute, show us a pic if you have any.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux

So my husband's youngest brother finally was released from the hospital in Thailand.
He spent about 1.75 mos. in there first with Ecoli, then infection in his lungs. It's been rough
on the other two brothers, (my husband) being one of them and the oldest one.
I think their youngest brother must have a personality disorder. He was behaving in usual fashion,
not being appreciative that their oldest brother flew down there to take care of financial business,
whilst he couldn't since he was so weak.

My husband's relationship w/the youngest is more than contentious. They barely stay in touch in a very minimal way on FB. My husband isn't good either in the area of showing/or being truly emotionally supportive. That doesn't help. The dysfunction!

Last week, my husband had a sore neck. I'm sure part of it has been the stress. Then he was moving some equipment that was probably kind of heavy. Anyway, been nursing it. So I gave him a full on massage with some Tiger Balm last night. Today, I woke up and I felt very sore. When I started to think back what I've done last few days, I did some hand laundry. So I thought, "yeah," probably was that! Then I remembered the massage!
So how do you like that, I massage, then I feel real sore. "OA," as my dad would say! Anyway, I've got a soup going on the fire right now, chicken soup. Lots of ginger is going in, maybe we can sweat out the pain.

Have a lovely Saturday evening everyone,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Stacey,

Thats funny, that he's a Medical Enigma, HAAH!! I know a few elders like that.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux