
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
It's been rather funky here with a heat wave and air quality in Red Alert. Very headachy days. We are having a mosquito issue here as well due to time of year, new builds watering new sod and over irrigation in established common areas of the subdivision. We have (several community members) reported it to county mosquito abatement. We should get "fogged" in a few days.
E started pre school today!! He did great, found toys to play with immediately while dd cried going back to her car, lol!! Hard for mom's to start letting go just a bit.
Getting guest room put together as my bil is coming to visit around mid month. This room has become a storage room of sorts since we moved in, haha!!
Sharyn, I don't know which is worse - heat or mosquitoes. We didn't have many mosquitoes this year, but plenty of black flies.
Golden, Your to-do list is lengthy. I didn't do anything today. Spent two hours speaking to people at the company about the bill I received. I am totally tired of these surprises. I spoke with my attorney. He said to pay it...it's in Mom's name and was incurred before she died. My brother and I both checked our credit reports again. Scared of my SIL, niece and nephew.
Sharyn, our sunrises and sunsets are absolutely gorgeous! The smoke helps, sure you must be experiencing the same.
Prayers for those in Florida that we do not experience what some are predicting.
I do love you all and so value the support you have provided over the past five years.
On mostly clear days, the sunsets are gorgeous!! Today we can't see the sky and the sun is a hazy orange orb.
sharyn -your air quality sounds nasty and those mosquitoes on top of it. We don't get fogged any more -- pollution or pesticides - not sure which. E is fitting right in -awesome. It is hard on mums to let go sometimes. Oh my, sorting out bed rooms. I still have some to do from the events of last year. I have lived without much to do with my sis for years. I am sure, despite the dysfunction, in some ways I will miss mother when she goes.
upset - I would take the heat over mosquitoes any day. Blackflies are awful. Here they have been known to kill cattle as there are so many of them. But we don't get many in town, Surely the day will come when there are no more surprise bills. Hopefully, soon.
My list is things I should have done the past few years but was not inclined to with dealing with mother and other issues. I should be caught up soon. You are wise to check your credit report. Quiet day for me too again.
glad - I see you lurking around. Not MIA at all. I don't know if we ever can forget completely the family cr^p we have been through. Maybe it is to remind us to stay away from it. The skies here were amazing when the fire was approaching last year. I hope never to see it again. Prayers for Florida for sure. Love you too!
Center is coming along. Having new carpet put down in two rooms. We had new appliances donated for the small kitchen.
Saturday evening a sorority at the university had a dance. They charged a box of Depends per couple admission. We got 153 boxes- various sizes men's and women's. So many caregivers have said that is a major expense they need help with. But, the needs
Hope everyone is doing well.
Sinus headaches again. I am pretty sure it is an allergen of some sort. This too shall pass!!!
Golden, The students at the university have had some good ideas. Forestry council students have delivered fire wood. Some other groups have raised money to buy certificates for heating oil. Local beauticians have made home visits to help some of the elderly to get out a haircut or a new style. Another student group raised money to buy prescription cards at the local pharmacy to help with prescriptions. It's been a fantastic outpouring of support. A bunch of guys who build dorm lofts have put up shelving for a small resource library.
My brother has lung disease and is in California. So many areas are burning. We have the peyette fire, Montana, Utah, Oregon, BC and others. Staying is recommended and the best thing to do.
There was nothing else you could have done. She said nothing to indicate her plans so you could not have helped. Many times those committing suicide will keep silent about their plans. they often appear more cheerful and settled right before they actually do it. That is probably because they have made their plans and know they will soon be free.
I have been very close to several people who have taken that route. No one that I was emotionally attached to but all the same I knew them and saw the pain they caused.
Be at peace with yourself you are doing so much to help others in distress.
And Upset, remember this always. I went to 2 different therapists. Before each session ended, they required me to verbally tell them that if I felt like ending my life, I will reach out to family, or a friend, or them or 911. I refused to give my word because when I make a promise, I keep it. But, this, I purposely lied because they wouldn't end the session without that agreement.
I'm glad that she only took her life. When I was suicidal, I knew that bedridden mom and dad would be neglected, bedsores, etc... I knew in my heart and mind that this is true. I'm glad that this website and so many people pulled me from the edge. Otherwise, my family would have had to do a funeral for 3 people.
Those of us who are seriously suicidal, we present to the world a normal face. Inside we're drowning and death beckons us to finally, finally sleep in peace forever. Death is not scary... I'm Not Suicidal. But I've been there and it's a secret that no one knows but you. I feel sooooo sorry for her. She was reaching out for help but the drowning overwhelmed her. .. I have tears for her.
I think this incident makes caregiver support even more important. There are so many stressors in this community even if you're not a caregiver. Becoming a caregiver just piles stress on top of stress. More reason to get the center open and get more support in place. I wish it were possible to give siblings who don't want to help, a dose of what their sibling goes thru every day.
I checked with Dept of Human Services. Her mother was placed in a nursing.
You mentioned many problems in this community. Maybe this loss will spur more action to bring awareness/ resources to the caregivers, apart from the tremendous work you are doing. I feel so badly for her children and also for her husband.
Being the lone caregiver is depressing, overwhelming and just plain unfair when there are siblings. It is a hopeless feeling, like a prison, as Book said.
You have done so much with this group in such a short time, it is amazing. Determination, I guess, sympathy and driven. Good for you.
We agreed we may be able to be more effective or make a better impact with more services in the new center.
I went to visit a friend this evening. A former co-worker who is in at home hospice care with ovarian cancer. Her daughter had called me and said her mom felt up to a visitor this evening. So many people who have so many illnesses. We did have a good laugh. Her twin daughters and my son graduated together. We used to talk about what careers our children would pursue. She wanted her daughters to go into medicine so they could take care of her when she was old. I told her my son would never be a caregiver (and I still believe that). Her daughters are both vets. She was laughing about having having two vets in attendance.
If I drank, tonight would be the night. I don't even have any chocolate in the house. I'll settle for two Tylenol for my headache.