
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
Glad, just hugs. This year has been brutal. My son's dog has liver disease and we've staved it off for 8 months, but she quit eating again two days ago. My heart just hurts this week.
Please everybody take care of yourselves. This community has been such a support to me for over 6 years and even those who no longer post as their journey moved on may someday come back. And if they don't that's ok. Peace out.
guest - I am sorry for all the stresses you have had and still have. Granddogs are family too.
Today I have to drink 4 cups of water one hour before my ultrasound appointment. I am more concerned about my body's ability to hold the water, than I am about the results of the ultrasound. I think 3 1/2 cups will do. I just don't want to flood the table. Oh, the indignity!!! Maybe I better bring some extra clothing - just in case.😉 Then I go for a bone density test. That should be easy.The only requirement is no metal above the waist. I can do that.
I called the funeral home this morning. The body still had not been claimed. I called her husband to ask if anyone was going to. He said he didn't have the money because they had been barely scraping by since she quit her job to take care of her mother. I went to the funeral home and arranged a very simple burial with graveside service. I know the man who owns the cemetery and he donated the plot. Called and got the minister at my church to perform the service. I placed a memorial on the town FB page and said that donations were being accepted at the funeral home. I couldn't think of anything else to do and I hated the thought of her body being unclaimed. I've done all I can for her. I called her husband and said the service would be at 10:00. I've done all I can.
Golden, Good luck with testing. I'd probably be floating in my car if I drank that much water at one time.
Floating is about right. I did a test run last week and held 3 1/2 cups for 1 1/4 hours. I hope there are no delays at the appointment desk. I don't want to have to repeat this.
and (((((((hugs)))))) also to upset. it has been a difficult week for you too.
Hope everyone in the projected path of Irma has plans for their safety, and also that anyone affected by fires stays safe.
The hacking of personal info is pretty unsettling too.
The tests went fine - let's hope the results are. The only blIp was that they had me booked for a mammogram which I had done 2 months ago, instead of the bone density. We sorted it out. Can't believe the number of errors in the medical system. My last regular thyroid meds script instructions marked on the bottle are to take it every second day. I have never done that and would be on a half dose if that were the case. I am taking it as usual. Someone goofed - I am betting on the pharmacy and have to get in there and talk to them about it. If it is my new doctor I am going to be very disappointed to say the least.
Fall leaves showing here - the yellows and golds. Don't like what lies ahead.
Have a good day everyone and do something good for you.
Air quality looks better but reports say still in the red. I see blue sky and clouds?? Bro in Montana is surrounded by fire and some with very unhealthy air quality near Glacier Nat'l Park. Irma is a horrendous storm! Hoping everyone on here who lives in the areas is safe. My great niece is staying and will probably experience catagory 2 in Gainesville.
Where is Rainey??
Back to sorting and unpacking. Good day all.
I think I would just have worn a pair of Depends!
Upset you are to be greatly commended for what you have done for that family. Most people would have tut tutted and gone about their business. Good for you.
Glad so sorry to hear about Macy, she has been with you through the roughest of times. Maybe she felt her job was done
We were hoping to replace the A/C next year but this will knock that out the realm of possibility. Having 90's to 110 degree heat really make you want A/C!!!
I also took a break because I got really upset at someones board question and realized I needed to step back. I should have just stuck with this one where all the best people are! I learned my lesson. No more diving into major emotionally charged issues. I get way too upset emotionally and it gets the better of me.
I am desperately trying to go down my list of "gotta do's" before winter gets here. October is my favorite month and I am hoping to enjoy it, not work my tail off and miss it. Got the shade garden planted FINALLY! Now, just need to add mulch on top and done. Lots of outside clean up still to do. This property is a lot of work trying to fix what the prior people let go for a very long time.
I am getting older, everytime I do a project that requires a lot of physical, I am in pain for days afterward.
So, sorry I had to take a break, busy and having to set myself back into the right head space again.
I will catch up on the posts so I am on track again with what has been going on with everyone.
*Hugs to all of you*
veronica - you need to keep the bladder full!!! Depends won't help that. I did wear a little protection just in case. I have what I am sure is an ovarian cyst. The tech questioned me about my self diagnosis, initially, before she did the procedure, but honestly I have been aware of where my ovaries are for about 70 years and what they feel like. She was very friendly and chatty while she was doing it and asked how I kept myself in such good shape.
Hi rainey - you have a lot to deal with and have had so much heat. Hope you get rid of the rats quickly. Stepping back is a good idea at times. I know you are upset about the situation with your bro - with good reason. So glad you got the shade garden planted. Sorry about the aches and pains. They do come as we get older and try to keep up the same pace.
Just talked with the pharmacist about the script for my thyroid meds, and it was the dr who halved the amount. I had asked dr how my thyroid levels were and he said they were fine so it made no sense to change the drug dose. It was the first time he had prescribed synthroid for me so hopefully it is just an error. The pharmacist said to carry on as normal and he will get back to me.
Kind of looking forward to getting my cataracts dealt with. I will be the bionic woman by the time I am finished!
Have a good evening everyone!
Losing Macy, is harder than losing mom and L. With folks, knew it was coming for a long time. First hint that Macy's time was up was just two weeks ago. Now I will find out how much I really enjoy my own company.
Yeah rats are icky, I was just floored how much to get rid of, clean up and replace the damage, about 5k! There goes my A/C! 😩
Upset, thanks! I have to catch up on everyone, Mom is doing alright for now.
Glad, so sorry about Macy! I was destroyed when I lost my little black cat, absolutely inconsolable so I understand! (Big Hug) 😥
I promise to catch up on everyone's posts later tonight when I have some quiet time.
rainey - Whoa -that's a lot of money to get rid of the rats, but absolutely essential. Glad your mum is doing OK.
upset - it will take a while for you to get past the suicide. That was a violent means not typical of women.
Supposed to rain here tonight which would be good. It should clear some of the smoke.
This thread addresses the issues of dysfunctional families and that being the case it is not surprising to find anger expressed. However, it is also expressed on many other threads in Aging Care.
I know you miss your partner so very much. I am sorry for your loss and the changes it brought into your life
I just wanted to check in and let ya'll know what is going on in my little world, besides watching this crazy weather, aswe are still getting heavy smoke/smog from the fires burning in our state and No Oregon, and of course the Hurricane, which while fascinating to watch, I'ts horrible, the path of devastation it is leaving in its wake. Those poor poor souls who are stuck on hi ways leading out of town, and those who have already lost their homes and towns all over the Caribbean and The Virgin Isles! Now praying for Florida, and then there the next one following in Irma's footprints! Just Awful!
My FIL is hanging in there, although things they are a changing! He has a terrible Urinary tract infection, and now delirium and agitation to follow, so I suspect that Sepsis is setting in again.
Our Hospice Nurse Tara says that the school of thought is that we do not, will not use antibiotics to treat, and keep this at comfort care only.
There has been a big and distinctive change, just from yesterday, but we will see what tomorrow brings. He was calling out things
Like "I'm gonna stay home tonight", and "I don't want to go to school today", then he was wrestling with his covers, even tried to get out of bed, because he thought he needed to go to the bathroom, and he was shaking his head back and forth with his eyes glazed over, and running his hands through his hair and face.
It is all a bit disconcerting, a bit scary in all actuality, and I've had the Weekend Nurse on the phone who added Haldol, more Lorazepam, and now Morphine to settle him down. I sure hope it works! Oops, spoke too soon as he's calling out again! Grrr, I've given him enough medicine to knock Me out, and I don't know how he is fighting through it!
I have feeling it's going to be a long night! So that is my world in a nutshell! I'll try to catch up in the next day or so, and see what you all are up to! Love to you all! Stace
This is the DYS thread. Perhaps your comment, Oregon, is more appropriate for other threads. This thread is mostly about people who are or were caregivers to dysfunctional family and the extra hurt that brings.
I don't think anyone who does caregiving for more than a year is without compassion for those we try very hard to help. It's too easy to walk away when things are difficult. I didn't walk away, though. I dug in my heels and declared (by my actions, if not my words) that I was going to see this bad situation to its conclusion, come anything, for the purpose of bettering my father's life, and I did that. Honestly, I don't know I would've lasted another year... I thought of killing myself and my father so often... so I'm thankful that things progressed and I was able to get my father moved on.
And I'm truly apologetic that this contrarian bit is all you've heard from me in a week, DYS thread posters. I've been reading and I do have things to share but mostly I've had a stupid sinus infection since Tuesday. I never had these darn things before the house here and I'm crossing my fingers they go away when I move. Ack
Upset, I'm very sorry for your caregiver's suicide. I don't think any one thing or any one person is ever responsible in ANY way, except the person's decision that they choose to end life instead of make changes and get help. It's a very tough spot and I sympathize with her and with you, too. I'm glad you're trying to be of support to caregivers who need you. It's god's work, so to speak.
jessie - my mother is on comfort care and they said they would treat any infections so I am surprised too. Maybe when sepsis occurs they figure it isn't worth it as it won't work anyway. My ex mil got to a point where no antibiotics helped.
ali - you explained caregiving in the dysfun fam well. " It adds another level of pain to be taking care of abusive parents." Absolutely! I could not imagine my mother being me or me being my mother, either. It is too big as stretch of the imagination. Oh gosh - sinus infections are horrible. Hope you have something to make it better and that those problems go away when you move, Looking forward to hearing more from you when you are up to it.
glad - thinking of you. I had my last dog, Matt for 14 years, and lost him 8 years ago. I still miss him
upset - thinking if you too and the sadness of it,
Stacey, I can't imagine what you and your husband are going thru with your FIL and his illness. So difficult. You have my prayers for peace and comfort.
I'm taking a break from work on the center. PJ and I are taking the ferry from Bar Harbor to Halifax tomorrow. Going to drive back via Peggy's Cove and New Brunswick and will get back Monday. No real itinerary. Taking the ferry to Halifax was one of my son's favorite road trips to buy Leaf Canadian sports cards growing up. He's 38 now and asked me to buy him some hockey cards on this trip. I don't think he has quite grown up. Everyone have a quiet weekend and take care of yourself.
I hope you can find a balance with your son/dil. I hope you can understand the need for a caregiver to have a safe place to go to for support.