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Trust sent over an Estate Appraiser this morning to ... appraise the estate. It's funny to me they would do this NOW, after I've been living here 6 years. I had left the man to do his thing and was sitting at my desk in basement when I heard his footsteps stop for a good minute so I went up to see what had caught his attention. It was my 8oz sterling (better than sterling, actually, it's .970) Taxco necklace! I said "Oh, that's mine!" lol And I explained that I was the Taxco collector of the family, that I'd lived here 6 years and so my things were intertwined with other "estate" things. Appraiser did find a box of vintage cufflinks, all costume pieces but very nice, that I'd forgotten about. I'll give them to my dad and to my brothers to take some pieces as they want to, let them donate the rest.

The new Trustee told me that there is a board meeting about my receipts on the 28th. Fingers crossed that they agree I am owed reimbursement.

I go to measure the new place today around 6pm. I want to know the wall lengths to know what I can get into the new place and how it will be arranged. I'm trying to avoid any need for storage of the few heirloom pieces of furniture that I want to keep. I've decided that my more contemporary (but not at all sentimental) furniture currently in storage can be sold/discarded and I'll utilize my grandparents' pieces instead. Trying to sort out how it will all work...

And I'm going on some dates, and meeting some men, talking to a couple of people from online dating. All of it -- wrapping up the house, moving to the new place, dating -- it's all a process and I hope that my efforts mean that SOMETHING comes from all this lol. The caregiving life feels like a never ending To Do list. :-/

I want to put Career Goals into the mix but for right now I've decided to work on the move. When I get to the city, there will be a world of new employment opportunities available to me. In the meantime, I've found a very agreeable way to sell some Taxco. Silver is down right now but this particular consigner's market visibility is very good, and pieces fetch a good enough price to warrant the 60/40 split. I have much to "liquidate." I've seen where endless collecting leads to and I'm moving towards a more minimal life.

It's all good stuff though I do feel I'm plodding along at snail's pace.

How are you guys today? Hope everyone has a great day!
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Thanks everyone. I'm excited but realistic. My brother is very happy. He's never married, but always wanted a big family. He's always happy to be in with all of PJ's tribe. He's acquired a couple of golfing buddies and has joined a volleyball team with them. He grew up almost like an only child being so much younger than me and my other brother. My son and his family are pleased, especially my oldest grandson. He met PJ's 12-yr old grandson a couple of years ago and they are buddies. My granddaughter is happy about the wedding - she thinks she's the wedding planner. But then she said "oh no, all those boys". Again, thank you for all the good wishes.
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WHAT??!!! Upset, congrats!! I missed your announcement. I so happy for you!! Your history together is a great start!

Ali, I am so happy with your plans. Measuring and keeping some family heirlooms to use in your new place!! So exciting!!

Golden, keeping you in my thoughts and prayers re the cataract surgery. I'm happy to hear your tests went well and the results.

Margeaux, good to hear from you. Hoping all is progressing as you work through BC.

Temps here have finally dropped to a comfortable high 60's-mid 70's. On and off showers today with predictions for winter to be a repeat of last year. Bil will be arriving late tomorrow for the weekend. Other than that not to much going on unless you want to include chasing toddlers and puppy. Bust is a joy with much work. He is so darn cute and as sweet as can be. How can one resist his sweet face, eyelashes and excitement when he sees you.

Autumn is slowly coming along, hope everyone is enjoying pleasant temps!!
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Wow!! Autocorrect changed some words, should have buster, dang
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Cograts to you Upset!! Such good news in these often gloomy days!
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Stacey, thinking of you and family too!!
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Ali, Love Taxco silver. I don't collect. Have a pair of earrings and a bracelet. In grad school I managed the museum shop at Hudson Museum. We had jewelry from many southwest Native American tribes and also from Mexico and Central American (mostly pre-Columbian styles. It was a non-profit museum and shop merchandise had to reflect the collections. I'm a total jewelry junkie (the one way I am truly like my mother). And my granddaughter shares the love of jewelry. When Mom was living one of the only things she truly enjoyed was dressing up Em up in her jewelry. A 5-yr old decked out in diamonds. I know what you mean about collecting...it can take control of your house. PJ says it's the easiest the thing about me - need a gift for me - buy me some jewelry.
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I don't want to live with all the negativity regarding my family and having 6 years of 24/7 with my mom and her demands and narc behavior. I don't want to think only negative thoughts about my deceased brother and his family. I've tried saying I forgive you outloud. I've tried writing it down. I've tried pretending I'm calling them on the phone. So far I don't feel much. I've tried trying to write down things that they did that were nice. For Mom I can say that she enjoyed spending time with my grandchildren, especially my granddaughter. She liked that Em shared her love of jewelry, having her ears pierced twice and her love of chocolate. I know that she enjoyed taking me shopping all my life, especially for shoes and handbags. So I guess that's something. My brother and his family I can think of nothing. It's an empty feeling.

PJ and I were thinking getting married at town hall. Just us. It now appears the wedding planners (approx 36 of them) have decided we need to go to Vegas to get married the weekend before Thanksgiving; followed by a honeymoon in CA at Disneyland with all of them going along. Can you imagine? They probably want an Elvis impersonator to perform the ceremony. 
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Upset, wonderful that you both are setup well. With caregivers this is often not the case. When my mom and L married, mom was 80 and had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's a couple of years before. The first signs were her forgetting to pay bills, etc. So, L started paying for everything. He had a great pension from the federal government, mom's income was not even half as much. TS's thought this was great as mom's assets continued to grow as she was not spending any money.

Long story short, L's assets had diminished to half of what they were when they married over the course of six years. Nobody, including mom and L understood that if his assets ran out, then mom would have had to pay for his care from her funds until she was down to what Medicaid allows the community spouse.

L did not live enough for this to become an issue because of his federal retirement. When they married they both thought that their assets were safe from each other in case of escalating medical needs and expense. Both thought that a prenuptial agreement would take care of it.

Unfortunately, the majority of us would have to be very careful about these financial issues if we were to decide to marry.

So, congratulations again, upset. Your long term relationship with PJ is a very good indicator of a long and happy married life. Best wishes to you both.
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Glad, We're not wealthy, but we've both tried to be careful about money. PJ played 14 years in the NFL. He held on as long as he could to build his pension and to get their health insurance. Then he spent 7 years working in the NFL organization. I have a settlement from a drug that I given that causes permanent kidney disease and I've saved it for long term term. Plus I have pension and retirement plan. We both have paid for long term care insurance. It's a tough world when you get old and I've tried to prepare. I think because we neither wanted our children to have to take care of us. Of course, one can never tell what will happen.
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I'm bummed out. My heart breaks for E. he will parallel play but won't play directly with the other children. He most often wanders off by himself. My dd is very sad.
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SharynMarie,
The child is not sad. He is playing.
Some people call this differently abled.

The sadness is understandable, and I get it. Really, I do.

As long as we try and expect special needs persons to become like everyone else, we miss the Special in special.

He is playing, special.

I am sure this feeble attempt at encouragement does not cover all your sadness about E.
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Sharon, I can understand your sadness. There was a special needs little boy in my son's room from 3rd thru 12 grade. He parallel played and had other special characteristics. He liked sports cards starting in about 6th grade. He and my son became friends in his own way. He came to our house frequently to sit and play alone with sports cards. He and my son would sit for hours on a Saturday afternoon not saying anything. I asked my son and he told me; he's playing; I know what he wants. I never did figure out their communications. They're both 40 now and still stay in contact. He's married to a woman he met in school who is very much the same. They have a daughter who is 8 and a chatterbox. My son and his family spent some time with them last summer. He says he still knows what his friend wants. His friend runs a large sports collectible store and is very successful. There are many special people who live happy, productive lives in their own special way. Loving him as he is the very best thing you can do.
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Thank you Send! I know you are a wealth of information. I have to look at the situation different, not based on my type of happiness and what I would want for him within personal relationships.

Upset, thank you, it is encouraging to hear this about your sons friend. E is very spacial, he lines up his toys in straight lines equally distanced apart. He will actually get down on the floor and look at the lines of toys he placed and will adjust them accordingly.

I love this little guy and he has his moments where he opens up completely and will talk and talk.
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Sharyn; What kind of therapy has your grandson been approved for? Is he attending a special preschool, or is he in a regular preschool with services added on?

Google "RDI". It's a therapy that addresses the social and pragmatic language difficulties that children on the Autism Spectrum face.
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Great idea Barb! I know a family who has made great progress with their son with RDI strategies. Totally forgot about it. Google it Sharyn!
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Barb, he is in developmental preschool to continue speech therapy. He hasn't been fully evaluated yet, soon we hope. I have not heard about RDI and is that something insurance would be used or is it through school districts. I'll have to see if Idaho has it available. Thank you for the info!!
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It sounds like a great program that would be helpful so those on spectrum can have meaningful relationships!!! I ask my dd about it.
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The family that I know bought into the program privately, but there may be other options.
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Yes, upset I read more about it. It is very extensive and done at home. I guess you sign up online unless a specialist refers you.
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I know they work with him at home. He attends a small, private kindergarten. I know from seeing him at church that he definitely has some socialization changes. They used to not attend Sunday School because he didn't interact. Now he attends. He speaks relatively easily. Seems more comfortable around people. I don't see him other than at church.
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Upset, long term care insurance is wonderful, if the premium continues to be paid. My mom had long term care insurance, then in her confusion either decided to stop paying the bill, of forgot. By the time POA twisted realised mom had been diagnosed with dementia. So, of course, insurance company would not reinstate the policy with payment of missed payments. Long term care premiums should be setup somehow so the insured does not have to do it themselves and do not see it coming out of their accounts. Companies must make quite a bit off these policies that are unintentionally cancelled because someone with dementia is the one responsible for paying the bill.
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My mom's LTC policy had a 60 day lapse period. We stayed ahead of our mom as she kept trying to stop paying it. My LTC policy is set up to notify another person (spouse, child) if payment is not made. Older policies didn't do safe guards. It's a shame.
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Sharyn, ts2 was notified and she did nothing!
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Oh Wow Glad!!
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Glad, That is so wrong! PJ has his set up to automatically be paid and his CPA son is a signer on the account in case he is ill, etc. I have mine deducted quarterly. My son would be notified if there was some reason there wasn't money in the account. I bought mine after I was given an inappropriate drug by a nephrologist. I knew at that point my kidney disease would progress more quickly. Chances are slim that I would live long enough to have a need for long term care, but you never know. I think when you start aging it's best to expect and plan for the worst. As my dad used to say, "Getting old isn't for sissies". He hated being ill and aging. He died of kidney disease at 67 after a year or so of illness. His mother and sister also died of kidney disease in their mid 60's after about a year. I was diagnosed earlier and I think despite the medication problem, I've had better medical treatment and I am definitely more compliant with diet. 

It is 2:30 and no sleep on the horizon. I've read, walked, had a drink of water.

We talked with both the Maine wedding planning crowd and also with the California contingent and my cousin and her husband that we want to come. Everyone likes the Sunday before Thanksgiving in Las Vegas. My DIL travels to Vegas on business every month. She is going to send me info on a hotel that has nice weddings. She and my son went to his cousin's wedding there last spring and thought everything was done nicely. I'm not sure about a honeymoon with over 30 people, but PJ thinks it might be fun. Maybe???
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Upset, you have kidney disease as a result of the medication you took?? That is scary, have to be careful with so many medications now.

Glad, your ts2 was determined to get the most inheritance from mom that she allowed the LTC policy to lapse. Shameful.

With my family history of Alzheimer's, I wasn't taking a chance of getting it and don't want my kids to have take care of me in their homes or mine. The responsibility of POA, advocating and everything else needed with facility care is more than enough responsibility without 24/7 caregiving.
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Sharon, I don't know anything about programs in Idaho. Here in NYC, we have a specialized program in the publics schools that uses a variant of RDI as part of the speech mandate for students on the spectrum. At the preschool level, there are specialized programs using ABA. Two other methodologies are Floor time and TEACCH.
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An odd thing, paying a family member for care was permitted under the policy. Had the policy not lapsed perhaps none of the legal issues of the past six years would have occurred. Be very specific in your POA instructions, people! If you would want to pay that family member for care, specify it and how much for what!
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Thanks Barb!! We have a lot to learn about this and waiting for E's evaluation so a learning/teaching plan is created. I tried to talk with my dd, she like so many younger people are very concerned about Their child thinking there is something wrong with themselves and he will figure out in time he does not fall within the norm. I'm not sure if that means she will not tell him.  I would hope she tells him when he can understand but not that there is something wrong with him, we all learn differently.  
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