The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

bummer, stacey (((((((hugs))))) yes, I remember. Couldn't be gall bladder could it? Sounds very painful. I was concerned I was getting an ulcer, but I refuse to do that!!!! Being still helps me and " soft foods" like applesauce. Yogurt is good, but I didn't have any and am in no shape to go out and get it. I ate pretty normally today and have a little heart burn, but not bad. Take care of you - stress can still manifest after it is all over,

Everyone on here is caring for someone. I did that with my husband for many years and my partner for the last 10 years. I paid my dues I am now 75. I owned my home FREE and clear. I really did not want to move. My son became ill and I wanted so badly to be there to help him. I want all of you to understand the person you care for is a loving human being. The one you love may have been harmed mentally by the issues they have had to face for years. The person you are caring for may have been your parent and surely you realize that they saw you through many hard years while you were growing. They too, went thru horrible times including wars and loss of many. Suddenly, they (as well as myself) are old. Do you think we came to this earth to end up with memory loss or bad behavior? NO. Most of us, wanted desperately not to go to a nursing home. So, you decided that due to lack of funds you would care for your parent at home. Well, all I ask is that I come on here ONE day and hear how thankful you are for your elderly person you are caring for. Unless of course, they were a terrible memory of your youth. In that case, you should not be taking care of this human being. But someone who affected your life positively, Come on now, Help them get to that Last day that they want more than you do

I congratulate you who care and love for your loved ones. It is NOT easy. My husband was a wonderful man, full of strength and the shoulders of a swimmer His death was quiet and one that most would want. But, his care (being the first I ever cared for), was difficult. I felt guilty after he passed thinking did I short him on anything. I know he waits for me. If you do not like the person you are caring for, or HATE what you are doing...Take a moment and ask God to help you. YOU WILL BE THERE SOON ENOUGH. Who will take care of you? Are you an example of who you would like caring for you?
I wish I could say that my senior years are any better. I know my kids love me, but I think they too cannot see the OLD they will become. Please I pray, take care and understand the bad things your elderly (former active intelligent person) is now facing. Help them. If you can't, walk away and leave the job to someone else. Remember, God is watching His love one die. He wants you to learn from this time.

Hey Stacey, I think that we get stress symptoms long after we have passed through a very stressful time. It wouldn't surprise me if you were still experiencing some physical manifestations of your very stressful time caregiving to FIL.

I'm telling myself that after I get through the holiday time, there will be sales offers for all the gyms nearby to me (there are quite a few reasonably priced ones within a couple of miles!), and joining a gym that has some training programs, getting involved in daily workouts again is probably the best medicine I can do for ongoing stress issues of my own. I don't know what would be best for you, 'course, but I've jotted down my symptoms in a list to discuss with new PCP, and I realize that as physical as they are (headaches, sleep issues top the list), it could all be due to stress/anxiety and physical exercise is about the only thing I can think of that's known to help... and I need help lol.

I started having TMJ pain daily and had no clue what this was. I read about it online and seems that it is due to stress. Thankfully, I am in good enough shape still (no knee or joint issues) that I can start up with some workouts and see if that doesn't help.

I think I was hopeful that I would move away from the old house, move away from caregiving life, and *poof!* I would feel much improved every day. I do feel better, no doubt about that, and I'm taking on more and more... but... when I get a new symptom from stress (the TMJ pain), then I have to figure my body is on a runaway stress syndrome programming, where it's putting out too much norepinephrine and cortisol and other related stress chemicals in the body.

My long winded way of saying -- I do think our bodies get on a certain track of putting out those stress hormones when we need them, but don't necessarily automatically dial it back once situation has resolved. I think we continue to feel the effects and have to make conscious effort to heal. I wish you healing. (((hugs)))

oregongirl, forgive me for not appreciating you for lecturing us, but you ARE posting on a thread for caregivers in dysfunctional families.

Walking away is not always an option just because there is past history. Please do not make assumptions about our families or our lives.  We are NOT obligated to be thankful to the person we are caring for. 

Please do not judge or scold, especially when it comes to things you haven't experienced. We are all entitled to our feelings, whatever they may be.  And what I am thankful for is having a place to express them. 

Anyhoo, just swinging by to catch up on what's going on for y'all! I would probably have a longer response except I just spent all my late night writing energy on a new thread about medical marijuana, lol.

Injured leg is in bad pain today. It started when the snow started - oh what a fun winter this will be. FINALLY got mom's main Christmas present while she was at dialysis, so I could sneak it in the door without her seeing!

I mainly went looking for a comforter because she can't maneuver the big duvet anymore, so she's using my comforter with a couple of blankets....I hate duvets now that I've got night sweats, but now that it's cold out, I want my comforter back! Lol. Selfish me. But I ended up getting her brand new everything - comforter, bedskirt, shams, throw pillows, 2 sets of sheets. She spends the majority of her time in her bed because she's so sick, and since she's been successfully using Depends instead of leaky Poise pads for almost a month, I figured she deserves a fresh start with unstained stuff. I spent way more than I planned, sigh. (Some of that is probably guilty feelings.)  And I'll have to get one of the home support ladies to help me with the bedskirt and bottom sheet, so I won't be able to actually dress the bed till the 27th now.  But I DID find some gorgeous stuff that matches her curtains - she loves those curtains; they were one of the first things she picked out for herself when she moved here. 

Anyway, that was about all I could manage for Christmas activities today before my knee screamed at me to go lie down. Even driving is hurting me right now. Sitting up writing this is hurting, to be honest. That's why I read more than I post. I can at least do it lying down!

Sweet dreams for anyone still up!

oregongirl, why do you post on here when you have said you are in good health? If you are not happy with the care you receiving, or your living arrangement, do something about it! Hire caregivers you like. Move to senior housing. Only you can decide to be happy, no one can make you happy.

Such a busy time of year for everyone. Remember to take time out for yourselves. Caregiving is stressful, and holidays are too. Finding time to sit down to watch a movie or a 30 minute program can be difficult.

Dorianne, I hope your pain is manageable. Nothing worse than pain while trying to accomplish all you have on your plate. Take of yourself, enjoy a cup of coffee or hot cocoa.

Stacey and Golden, hope you are feeling better soon. Flu and cold season is hitting many people now

Send, I hope you are better too. You really had a bad flu this time around.

Ali, exercise is good for relieving stress. I hope you find a gym close to you.

Glad, the socks have leaves on them. I really am enjoying them! Just in time for snow.

Snowed all night here, a good few inches. Looks so pretty and I love the peaceful quietness. Time to get ready for work, early shift today. Not looking forward to driving on snowy streets.

Oregon girl, while I agree with you that care giving for a loved one is a learning lesson, do know that so many on this particular thread have been mentally scarred by those they have care for, and the road to recovery is long and difficult. While my own situation was different than most, in that I cared for my Narcissistic FIL for 13 years until his passing in my home on Hospice this year, I personally did not come from a painful and dysfunctional family myself, but still was/am affected, in that my husband was, and still suffers the emotional scars after his death.

Even in dealing with him for so long, it is very difficult to give that care with a cheery attitude and a stiff upper lip, which is why we come her for support from one another, and to learn how to put up boundaries, in order to save ourselves the continued pain, and to promote healing in one another. Like you, I cared for my own parents, and it was my pleasure and my honor, but for so many here, that is so very difficult to do, so if you receive mixed messages from others, this is why. I am still learning how to be supportive to my husband who has faced a lifetime of dysfunctional grooming, and he still is struggling with his feelings, and probably will for the rest of his life.

I hope you find peace and support from your children as you age, and require more help, and yes, I do believe that you get out of your children what you put into them. After so many years of hands on care giving, I now know that I would never wish to impose on my children to care for me in the manner in which we cared for his Father, I do not feel it's fair, but I would like to think that they would see me safe and cared for in a decent Senior Living apartment or Nursing home, and visit me too. I hope that you continue in good health, and Merry Christmas!

CMagnum,
Thank you for starting this dysfunctional thread for caregivers.!
It has been an awesome success, and a place to visit without judgments.

Wishing you and your wife a very Merry Christmas 2017!
You are appreciated by me. So thank you!

Today has been one of those days. My SIL called me this morning. She wanted me to wire her, her son and her daughter each $1500.00 for Christmas. I told her NO. I pointed out I had a restraining order that prohibited her from her from contacting me in any manner. Can you hear me slamming the phone down. What is wrong with this woman and her children. I guess it's really true dysfunction never takes a holiday. 

Pam's cough is worse and her breathing is very rough. I'm taking her to ER clinic at 5:00 to meet her doctor.

Becky that is so wrong, and yet so hysterical! Oh boy it never ends does it?

Thank you Sendhelp.

Wishing you and everyone here a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Pam, They are hysterical. Sometimes I can't believe the things they do. Such a sense of entitlement. Still at the hospital. Pam is being admitted for breathing treatments. She has severe bronchitis. At least she was prepared. She brought a tote bag with toiletries, gown, robe, slippers and book. They said she should get to come tomorrow afternoon. Jay came by and brought us a slice of pizza.

glad - polar vortex?? we just got a weather warning that the north pole will be warmer than points south and we are on the edge of the frigid region. Actually, right now, it looks like we won't get the worst of it. Hope that remains. Minus teens in the daytime, minus twenties at night - could be worse and will be later on I am sure. Yeah, + anything is a heat wave. Not sure about your visit with the twisteds either. Hope you are feeling better -it doesn't help not to. Stay safe, and warm, and nap if you have to. I hibernate as much as I can get away with.

Ali - good advice to glad. Same back at you, Hope you get over this bug or whatever. It is the season. My stomach is better, but I get a little light headed when I get up sometimes so I am not over it yet. These things seem to hang on.

(((((((guest))))) thx the golden moniker comes from the horse in my avatar - R's fave stallion. Thats is a wonderful Christmas "letter". Love the gift your fil got. Merry Christmas - kaboom!!!! Sorry, but it is funny. Keep up those boundaries. Helpless and hopeless will cope her own way. Good of you to help her mother.

oregon - I gather you are not happy with what is happening at your son's in terms of your care/relationship. I plan on going into a facility when I can't manage on my own and will be glad if/when my kids visit at all. Meanwhile I am older than you, I have paid my dues too, and am still caregiving my 105 yr old mother and managing my own life. Some of us are scarred from childhood, and still stepped up to the plate to help our parent as we could. There is not always an easy alternative. Venting about it in a supportive place helps us carry on. Being lectured doesn't. Hope you have a Merry Christmas and a better New Year.

Hello - I'll be back in here later tonight. Just wanted to say HI and to send big, big hugs to everyone who is stressed out over the holidays and/or family/family memories right now. I FEEL YOUR PAIN.

I was just out doing the last of the shopping.....the crowds and the bad driving and the constant sound of Christmas music....and BUY BUY BUY!!!.....and almost all the cashiers are dead-eyed from customer stress overload and the endless repetition of holiday pop music (been there, dear retail workers of the world!)....and I'm also texting with my brother who STILL doesn't know when/if he's coming (honestly it would be a relief right now if he didn't, but I'm on tenterhooks till I KNOW one way or the other)....and texting with friends who want me to do stuff with them but I can't because I have to clean the apartment now JUST IN CASE bro comes, and mom has dialysis tomorrow.....everything about Christmastime and family, really.....

Christmastime is like this overwhelming PTSD sensory overload, every year, and worse now that mom lives here. I was pushing my cart past the stuffing boxes and thinking it all makes me feel like I'm a war vet who has to dash through enemy fire once a year just because it's tradition.

The first year after mom is gone, I'm going somewhere else.

Anyway, back later. Just had to get that out. Haven't even unpacked the groceries yet!

Golden, I am not sure at all either. It will be over in 24 hours. It is snowing, maybe it will blizzard and keep them home. I can hope, can't I?

Spent a good part of the day making Swedish meatballs for dinner tomorrow. Mashed potatoes, some will be for lefse. Mmmm. And gjetost. I could just eat gjetost and lefse, if need be. I am exhausted, but at this point, the most normal Christmas I have had in six years. 😶

Oh ali - if there only was a magic pill to take away stress, but there isn't. But there are many ways to cope - and exercise is a big one. Here are some tips from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America - adaa.org/tips

Coping Strategies
Try these when you're feeling anxious or stressed:
Take a time-out. Practice yoga, listen to music, meditate, get a massage, or learn relaxation techniques. Stepping back from the problem helps clear your head.
Eat well-balanced meals. Do not skip any meals. Do keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand.
Limit alcohol and caffeine, which can aggravate anxiety and trigger panic attacks.
Get enough sleep. When stressed, your body needs additional sleep and rest.
Exercise daily to help you feel good and maintain your health.
Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly.
Count to 10 slowly. Repeat, and count to 20 if necessary.
Do your best. Instead of aiming for perfection, which isn't possible, be proud of however close you get.
Accept that you cannot control everything. Put your stress in perspective: Is it really as bad as you think?
Welcome humor. A good laugh goes a long way.
Maintain a positive attitude. Make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Get involved. Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress.
Learn what triggers your anxiety. Is it work, family, school, or something else you can identify? Write in a journal when you’re feeling stressed or anxious, and look for a pattern.
Talk to someone. Tell friends and family you’re feeling overwhelmed, and let them know how they can help you. Talk to a physician or therapist for professional help.

There are more great tips at helpguide dot org stress-management. I particularly like "The four A's - Avoid, Alter, Adapt & Accept"

Stress seems to accumulate after a long period of it, and, as you say, it doesn't just go away when the original stressor is removed. The "taking care of self" during the stressful period is so important, as in the long run we can get so worn down we don't ever fully recover to where we would have been. Hindsight is always 20/20. I absolutely agree we have to make a conscious effort to heal afterwards. You are taking some great steps.

dori - so so sorry about your knee and your PTSD overload and your bro who isn't making up his mind. Frustrating!!!!! Is there a knee replacement in the future? Love what you have gotten your mum for Christmas. I hope she is delighted. She may not know the difference between the 25th and the 27th. Enjoy having your comforter back and try to relax a bit. The cleaning will wait and if bro does comes he prpb will not notice.e.

sharyn -getting there thx. Hopefully will be over most of it by the 25th. It is a busy stressful season for most. I have cut back so much by necessity. The peace and silence brought by snow is very special. I love it. Hope the driving went OK today.

becky - unbelievable again. What a huge sense of entitlement. Best to laugh at the ridiculousness if it. So sorry Pam is not well but glad she has good resources around her and she will come home tomorrow.

send - glad you are feeling better.

cmag - Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and family too

stacey - hope you have a wonderful Christmas with all the family celebrations. You will be showing off your newly decorated home to any who come, Very kind of you to open your home to those LOs who do not have anywhere to go that day. Re the stress after the stress - I knew a lovely lady who went through a very difficult divorce. 6 months later she developed very painful arthritis. Eventually it resolved itself. She was sure it was a delayed reaction to the stress. The body can only cope with so much.

R finally got word to go south to family. He will see grandchildren - some of them anyway. I am glad for him. Had a 2 hr phone chat with oldest son today. It was awesome!!! He lost his job when Sears closed and is thinking of returning to school to get a B Comm. I think it is a good idea. Even though he has a two year college diploma, he will have to do some high school upgrading which I find strange in a world of education which is supposed to have increased flexibility for adult students as well as give credit for work experience. The colleges were the same which surprised me. Other son with depressed wife is here in town and was less reachable and not interested getting together. What's new? Dd is having a second hernia op in Feb. I hope they get it right this time.

Mother, having been taken off her antipsychotic, is being given a higher dose of antidepressant. I think they are hoping it will help with pain relief. So far they are not seeing any effect from the removal of the risperidone.

That's my family news to date, I guess.

I am still getting sime ghost images watching tv. It makes the faces look a bit strange, but then with all the face lifts around, many look a bit strange anyway.

Take care, breath deep, it will all be over in a couple or three days. Blessings to all.

glad -yes, it will be over soon and maybe it will work out well. We can hope for some "intervention." Love swedish meatballs. I might make some just for me!!! Happy for you that so far it is the most normal Christmas you have had for years. You are ahead already. I miss the gjetost. You better get some rest. Tomorrow may be stressful!!!

Becky - WTF? SIL just breached a restraining order to request/demand $4500????? My jaw is on the floor! That's astounding! Hope Pam is ok and her breathing gets better.

Sharyn - Dunno if I'd say the pain is manageable so much as it's usually work-around-able, lol. (Except for right now - weather or stress?  Who knows?)  A huge chunk of why I started staying with mom is so I could get things done around here at my own pace, instead of putting stress on the injury trying to get it all done at once.

glad - Swedish meatballs sound like an awesome Christmas eve dinner! I have never had lefse, but potatoes are my weakness and it sounds amazing!

golden - Bro will probably notice b/c he's a Virgo, lol! But I doubt he'll dare say anything, since he hasn't been here to help. I'll just live with his silent judging. The knee....the doc says she doesn't want them digging around in there while I'm this "young," because once they do a replacement, they have to do it every 10 years and the hole inside gets dug bigger every time they do it (yikes!!!). I'm hoping for some genius medical invention in the meantime!

I am a bit calmer now. The fridge is full, so I won't have to shop for awhile. Didn't clean after all - will do a bit tomorrow, just to tame the chaos. Hung up the wreath BFF made for mom's door. Got a few other decorations up and FINALLY finished the tree. Mom has a big stuffed Grinch around here somewhere (bro gave us each one, years ago), but I can't find it. She keeps saying she's going to look for it, but she always says she's going to do a lot of things she never does. So I finally made a half-hearted search for it tonight and gave up. I'd like to find it before bro comes though....or I might just go grab mine from home and fake it.

Got best guy friend's present wrapped, will have to do mom's tomorrow when she's at dialysis, so I can lay the paper out on the living room floor (it's huge!!!). Brother already received his; BFF's family is kind of broke now that there are 3 grandbabies, so we aren't doing gifts. Everyone else is getting the soap BFF and I made. Been giving it out to the home support ladies too, as they aren't allowed to take gifts - I'm saying it's "market research" for our soap, lol.

Talked to BGF on the phone....he feels terrible 'cause he can't afford a gift this year, as if I need one! So I told him the biggest gift he could give me is to get the dang garbage out for me tomorrow! (Mom's building is designed weird - it's like walking a block and a half to get the garbage to the dumpster....and I'm 2 weeks behind because of my knee, yuck!!!) That news delighted him - he'll be here at 1 PM, lol. He is truly the big brother I always needed.

Kitten keeps stealing tree ornaments!!! 

I had a dream last night that I was traveling around the continent with my cats, in a big camper that I'd redesigned inside. Traveling seems like such a lovely idea.....

Dori, I can understand work around the pain. I have back issues and some days the pain keeps me down with either ice packs or a heating pad. Clearly your pain is different.

Glad, I’m hoping you will have a lovely visit with your immediate family and get through the twisted tumbleweeds with little unpleasantness.

Becky, send them Monopoly money and a go the jail card, do not pass go!

Golden, Glad you are feeling better. We have been good so far regarding colds/flu. Driving wasn’t so bad as most of the snow on the roads was driven over many times by the time I got out. More snow today is expected. Can’t image -degrees, it is 9 degrees now but it doesn’t feel like it.

Merry Christmas everyone, I wish everyone to have a little break here and there, quiet time to yourselves!

Hibernating before guests arrive in 2-3 hours. Being in a household with children is more stimulation than I need. Bah hum bug. Made lefse this morning.

Merry Christmas to all of my dearest friends! Be safe, eat well, enjoy whatever you do.
Happy Chanukah
Happy Kwanzaa
Happy whatever else I may have forgotten.

Merry Christmas Every one!!! I finally got everything done here at the house, all packed and wrapped, shopping and cleaning done, and we're pooped!! Lol!! I am so thankful that my husband is so incredibly helpful! He is the one who will do the majority of the cooking tomorrow, while I do the setting up, tidying and hostess with the mostest duties.

Glad, thinking of you on this holiday, dealing with twisters and kids, whoo, I feel your pain! I looked after my 3 year old Grandson yesterday, what a little Love, helping Nana with my wrapping, but I paid him in a bunch of change, which kept him busy, he loves money, Lol! He did tire me out though!!! Must have said Nana Nana Nana a hundred times At Least! At 3, he's a Champ at matching games. It was nice to have him one on one!

Hubby and 2 of sons purchased and then set up an Amazing stereo system, with wireless surround sound throughout the house, and it sounds fantastic!! We haven't had music in our home for all the years my FIL was with us, and I can't believe how much I missed it, and how much joy it brings in lifting my spirits!!! I Love to sing, and the 70's Rock is just what I needed to help me push through this marathon we call the holidays!!

All I've left to do is take a quick bath, and make Sausage Rolls for tonight's festivities. Then off to see all our kids and Grandies for Christmas Eve Celebration.

48 more hours til its all over, whew!!! We've ordered a new chair for our family room, and then back to home decorating! Hubby is being Generous with funds, unbelievably so, and it's all coming together!

I'm sorry the holidays are so stressful to so many, me too but somehow we get through it! Golden, such great tips on helping with Stress!!!! I wish I had the time to put some into practice, but maybe After the holidays, Lol! Until then..... Happy Holidays to you All, I Love You Guys!!! 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

dori - So he notices! You are doing fine. Live with his silent judging - better than vocal judging lol. R got the same story about not doing his knee because he was so young. I think I would get a second opinion. Nowadays knee replacements last about 20 years. I believe if it is a partial replacement it may not last as long. He is on a list to be called for a consult. It takes a lot of time.

my dot clevelandclinic "When knee replacement procedures were first performed in the early 1970s, it was thought that the average total knee implant would last approximately 10 years. We now know that approximately 85 percent of the knee implants will last 20 years".

re the Grinch - fake it - seems in character. BGF is a treasure! Garbage taking out is my kind of present! Keep your dream about travelling with your cats. Sounds great!

sharyn - think I am completely over it today thx. Often the roads aren't that bad with just snow. But when it thaws and freezes, and the wind polishes the road with snow it can get slippery. Love your suggestion to Becky LOL!!!!

glad - truly hope it goes decently for everyone. I would hide if I had to be around the littles for too long. Too much noise and goings on. 

stacey -the music sounds heavenly. That in itself will reduce your stress. The littles do love money I have found. Enjoy it all  -you have done so well getting everything together in such a short time.

Well the polar vortex has hit and will be around for a week.❄ ❄❄ It is minus 18 feels like minus 38 which can be dangerous. Looks like today is the worst for windchill. Wondering if I can survive without shopping for that long. I will go out for dinner with dd and fam tomorrow, and have a couple of appointments Thursday when I can also drop by a store. I think I will hunker in the rest of the time unless the temps improve. I am doing well with the black bean lime chili soup. Next time I may add a little lime zest for extra zing and/or a little more cayenne! I have the makings for a navy bean soup after that. I found a recipe for bacon, spinach, and bean soup which sounds uber healthy and tasty. I don't have a ham bone or hocks, but will throw in some cubed ham for good measure.

Due to cutting back, I am totally underwhelmed with Christmas prep. I will plug in some lights today, get a fire going in the fireplace and that is it. I thought of getting a Kindle version of a modernized Norse mythology book with my AC amazon gift. It would bring back some good memories of my grandmother. She told me great stories of Norse Immortals and also Norse fairy tales. Any of you Vikings out there remember, "Pip, pip! here I am," said Buttercup"?

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!!! 🎄🎄🎄🎅🎅🎅

PJ has had both knees replaced - his right knee twice. His left knee was done in 1993 and his right in 1995. The right had to be replaced again 1997. The original was defective and got recalled. He's had both hips replaced as well. Other than the recall he's never had a problem. He exercises daily and thinks that's why he's had no arthritis.

Becky - hahaha! Mother had a hip replacement when she was about 85 and then a redo when she was 99. She outlived the surgeon who did the one when she was 85. Not sure how the other surgeon is doing. At this rate she may outlive him too.

SharynM, Monopoly money and a get out of jail card!!! Too funny, but might be effective!!!

You have a very Merry Christmas with your family and the Grandies!!!

Dori, rereading my post, I mean your pain sounds more severe. Take care of yourself.

Last minute wrapping, getting food together for a frittata in the morning with our dd and family. Pizza (take n bake) for dinner. Big dinner on the 26 th this year.

It’s been snowing since around 3:30 today. It is tiny but heavy. It’s like beach sand on the patio.

Idk, communication with my son is hard. I looked back n text messages from him and he texted he would be here on the 26 th at 1:00 am. Now it’s the 28th at 1 am. Maybe a typo, idk. I didn’t ask and I’m not going to. I already requested the 26 th of for his visit and can’t change it now. Disappointed but not bummed!

Again, Merry Christmas everyone, I’m enjoying the snow!

Golden, never heard any Norse myths from mom or grandparents. Though ts2 once had a dog named Loki, something to do with Norse mythology but I would have to look it up.

I am exhausted! The day went ok, actually well. Ts1 has had the sympathy cards for mom, I have never seen, brought them today. I still have not seen them at this point. Maybe in the morning. No discussions at all about the past six years. Both twisteds were pleased to be invited, more importantly my kids were all very appreciative. That is all that matters to me. This has been hard on them too.

Sharyn, enjoy the snow, we are supposed to get more about Thursday, I think. Enjoy those grands tomorrow.

Stacey, the music sounds wonderful. My daughter has an Alexa. It is rather convenient and easy to use. Just asked her whatever you want and she will come up with something. Her favorite dog is a golden retriever, her favorite cat is a Burmese, her favorite football team is the Seahawks (after all she says she is from Seattle). LOL!

So off to sleep, will read here for a bit yet.

Veronica , I love the pea soup but dang did ya call it right with the tapioca pudding just thinking about it urrhhh! We ate Turkish on friday. I got a taste of lambchops with the mint sauce. Saw some very enticing dishes.

Golden, I bet that was the best lamb and mint sauce your mother made. The thought of going to pick mint and chopp for dinner is awesome. I started my first garden afteer my mother,s cousin (my Godfather who recently passed) took me out in his garden and had me take a glass of water out to eat the tiny tomatoes. Boy!! Picking stuff from the garden was like therapy so soothing. I made the best pot of collard greens Ihave eveer made all from his garden. Then I made my own and thought something was wrong with my soul lol when the big tomatoes I bought turned out to be cherry tomatoes. I cant think of the name just now of the ones I bought.

Barbs I was tickled at your post about killing mint. I hear wednesdays are free in summer and I am going to plan a vist to the BBGs . Havent been there in many many years.

Have to look up liriope and I have heard of ruhbarb, but have to look it up also.

Becky that mint sounds like its relentless. Barb now I can really picture the looks you got at the Gardens lol.

Alli, (((Hugs))).

Well its Christmas eve night. I am working tomarrow also. Got days mixed up and for a minute I thought Christmas was today, Sunday.

So many good Christmas memories. So many loved ones passed on who made Christmas and Love what its is to me.

I sang chimed in with a drunk guy on train on way home from dinner he was singing Noel and I joined him then a few others and that short ride was so nice we were all smiling at each other and saying Merry Christmas. That smile stayed frozen on my face for the next 15mins.

On way to work two things were in the gate 1 was an unlimited monthly metro card (so I thought) that I lend to Millie and said insufficient fare when I swiped it (lol does S#$$T ever stop happening!), The other was a card from the little girl I took on for some reason. I gave her a ticket I had gotten for 5 people to go to Children's Museum in Manhattan. The card had picutures of her doing crafts and a 10 scratch off game. I buy these games whenever im off at liquor store and run into the mother either going or coming but ususally with tickets in my hand. Its a long time form of ientertainment. sometimes I win. I have a few winners accumulating. Another lovely gift, bought tears, putting picture on the fridge door.

Becky I am learning to be careful in my reponses to post because some things get turned into something personal but that was crazy. Sharyn gave perfect way to handle it. I used to love monopoly money!! LOL