The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Rainey, Sorry that the holiday dysfunction hit you so hard. Wouldn't it be nice if we could ignore them completely or effectively shut them out? I'm sorry you're Mom's memory is worse.

We're doing nothing tonight. I'm sure some of PJ's son's will drop in. We have the baby for a couple of hours. She's asleep. So far we haven't kept her when she has been awake.

I hope that everyone has a peaceful evening. I hope that everyone has a healthy and prosperous new year. Happy New Year! Everyone take care of themselves.

Wishing everyone a good new 2018!

I’ve read through the posts here and in reading about the issues about PD, BPD, dysfunction and narcissism. I’m not an expert in the field of psychology and would like to hear any thoughts on this. Just seems lately there’s a trend to generalize all narcissism as wrong. I like that making an effort of looking good and having the occasional ego boost from a compliment is ok, accepting recognition for something you did well physically or otherwise seems like a good thing. I understand we naturally have narcissism in our make up to have a healthy ego. I think when that character trait becomes defective and out of balance or dominates / exaggerates behavior to manipulation, causing emotional or physical harm and damages self or relationships, I tend to call it “extreme narcissistic” behavior. The out of balance lot of narcissism. Anyone agree or disagree?

Hi All, my Charlie-Girl is improving, and I'm So glad! It was scary there for the first half of the day, as she was not peeing, though she hadn't been taking in as much water than she normally does, so I began giving her 5 CC's of Pedyiite in a syringe every couple of hours, and she started peeing after a few hours of keeping that up, at least she is eating and is not throwing up.

We've had 2 lots of company, short visits, and her normal protective and excited side came out, so I can tell she's feeling better, but is still sore in her hind, and is still pretty sleep, so has rested most of the day. Hopefully she Will continue to improve in the coming days. After seeing this improvement, I did not tasks her in to the Vet's office, but will do if things change for the worse.

No Glad, she has never shown any bad side effects to any previous immunizations, so this was a first, and definitely her last! Thank you all for keeping her in your thoughts!

We had a nice and quiet barbeque steak dinner at home, and are settling in for a quiet evening, with plans to watch a couple of movies, that's it for us anymore, I don't like to be out on the roads on holidays, too many drunks on the roads! Actually, it's probably better now that there is Uber and the like! I know that my kids make use of these services, and I'm glad that they do!

Night All, and H...N...Y...!!!

Book, it go to see you on.

I am trying to catch up. Plus I have a lot of venting to do I feel like I am falling apart in my heart and mind with the situation with my mother. She came home yesterday. My sister and nephew were at hospital day and night. I felt kind a kind of way since I have been blocked from her care and i was ready to go to administrator if thing were such that I could not be given info.
I was pleased that my nephew was cordial. I happened to catch surgery doing round and saw cat scan. Seeing an old stroke and then the subarachnoid bleed. A bleed in one of the layers out side the brain. Its common to happen to seniors after a fall. Well now we had it out before I left for work. I was telling them to make sure she has a home attendant because another fall could take her out. I said that friday morning as I was leaving hospital. When I got there the doctor was there and I asked what was going on and said I was her daughter and I felt some kind of way when she asked if she could give me information and the delay in response and smungness in my sisters demeanor. My nephew says yes before my sister answered. I was walking with my mother throught the ward as she was getting antsy. She had given the staff a hard time both nights. One of the staff commented that that was what was needed instead of tying her down. That is what my nephew and sister were doing to keep her in bed. So I am feeling now she hopsitalized they with her 24 7 and good. It takes this to happen for them to realize she needed around the clock monitoring. I work with an agency, no sick or family days.No work no pay. They did not involve me in this vigil of care that was started and I felt left out and was strong in not feeling honored becaause my nephew was communitcating mildly. As I walked with my mother I got tired as I had just got off from a 12 hour shift and I left early so I could stop at hospital before my 2hour ride to work. Anyways as I tried to guide her from her intentions stuff came out that gave me flashbacks even as I put lotion on her legs. I took off her socks to moisturize her dry feet and she went into this thing about how I am always doing something. Then later she says something is wrong with me. In that usual tone, so I had to coax my self not to fall into the feelings it tiggered. Its a lifetime of being blamed and lied upon and then being sentenced and jailed, wrongly.

Well now today my nephew says the doctors say the bleed could be caused by stress and I curse my mother out everyday and he has seen it and then my sister busts in and Im like lets get it on again... My nephew tells her to get out then she says my mother used to tell here when she came home how I cursed her out. so now they are trying to blame this on me. So l tell my nephew a fall is the most common cause and I saw a mild bruise on her cheek weeks ago. Hes like o yeah then ? didnt you call an ambulance. I may have mentioned it in a post but she had no pain when I touched around it. and her mental status was same. But my thing is the hurt that opens up when I am falsely accused and have no recourse only God is my witness to all this wrong. Not to mention the fact that because of these same false premises they did ther damned best to stop me from getting meals on wheels. I dont know how to deal with this animosity and selfrighteous ignorance. on top of being cast out. I think I am strong and then I get a big tight hug from my patient and I want to boo hoo.

I hope the majority of this bull gets washed away with this comming new year.

Happy New Year to Everyone!!! May rays of light, love, peace, prosperity, health and happiness feel our lives in this coming year!!! xoxoxoxoxoxooxoo

Dorianne, what is Adelle, is that the singer or a type of music. It must be awesome being a performer. Sounds like hard work but a lot of fun.

Happy New Year everyone. May 2018 bring many blessings to everyone.

stacey - so glad charlie is better. We love those fur babies.

yellie - welcome I think here we are talking about narcissism in the area of mental illness - as in "extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type." (from the web)

dori - we are almost neighbours! lol Sounds like you are near Osyoos. Hope tonight goes well. I sure understand not wanting to drive the roads at night. Next time make it "No". Do you sing and play? Wow, talent either way!

windy - it seems as we get older, it just isn't worth it. I understand.

rainey - hi, nice to see you again. Hope you can relax some in the new year

duck - you too. I am sorry about the accusations. Toxic family for sure.

started back at my exercises yesterday as enough time has passed since surgery, and I am feeling it a bit today so taking it easy.

Hope everyone has a good evening - quiet or otherwise.
Thinking of you all and wishing you the best.

Going to have a quiet evening here, told Mom not to go to badbro's because last time I allowed that, he kept her out until nearly 2:00 am!!! I waited up and was not thrilled. She is not a teenager anymore and coming home at 2:00 is unacceptable. He has requested she spend his B-day (this Thursday) dinner with him. I told her he gets no money. I mean, for God's sake, she is seriously sliding mentally, when does he ever think he should quit expecting money and gifts? That is all he ever invites her for, there is always an ulterior motive, not once has he ever asked, "What can I do for you?" I still won't allow him on the property, and she has no control of her finances (obviously) because she cannot make sound decisions or remember minute to minute. Wish I could see his face when he opens her card and expects money and there is none! I dare him to say a word to her or start writing me hate mail again. If so, I will slap a restraining order on him, I have had enough and do not want to go down this path with him again. I was finally settling down a bit and here he comes again, just in time for the holidays and conveniently, his B-day. He is a leach on society and never quits trying to get money or gifts from anyone he can. It's really disgusting. My poor mother, she can't remember and struggles just to put sentences together and remember what you told her a minute ago. Shame on him.
Pray this does not start a s#*+ storm again, I am just not up for another war.
Thanks Becky and Golden, wishing both of you a better year to come. *Hugs*

rainey - good decision to tell mum not to go and to put a restraining order on bad bro if you have to. Sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do! Yes, shame on him! Just set your boundaries, whatever they are, and relax and let it happen . Do NOT let bad bro bully you. That is why I have largely cut my sis off. She just got remarried and wants contact and I have allowed some, but the minute she gets nasty again, I cut contact again. No fuss, no feathers, just - "You are out of my life." Because of mother, I have to have a little contact with her, but once mother is gone... There comes a time when a person needs peace. Look after you, expect him to act as he always has, and protect yourself and your mother from him.

Hope everyone had a safe and happy New Years Eve. I went to bed early, but some local person set off firecrackers at midnight. It woke me up! 😠 Today I made a New Year's resolution I know I can keep. I am ordering more groceries online from Wa*mar*. I can't order fresh food here, but I can get paper goods, cleaning supplies, canned goods and such, and that helps to reduce the size of the order when I do go shopping.

This year is the year of the Warrior Queens and Kings. We are warriors all of us. 😊

Duck, If you believe your mother is not being properly attended why not contact APS and let them investigate. Or if that is not an option contact Legal Aid (free service) and get advice on seeking guardianship or perhaps another option.

Golden,
Tell me about it! People were letting off firecrackers, louder things for quite a while after midnight. What is the big deal I wonder? So, it is a New Year so that is a reason for causing a raucus in a quiet neighborhood? I will never understand the herd mentality.
Right you are about badbro, I am already experiencing gastrointestinal issues due to the mere thought of dealing with this again. I know he should not have that kind of power over me but my body goes into the fight or flight mode at the mere thought of any interaction, I immediately start having issues.
I took an Ativan after spending most of the morning in the bathroom and am trying to just calm down now.
I long for the day I never have to worry about dealing with him again.
I do a lot of shopping online, cheaper, and easier than running around hoping to find what you want only to strike out. The harder part is food but luckily we have many major food stores in fairly close proximity.
Thank you for your support regarding badbro, unfortunately, I am really starting to pay physically with the stress and I can see no way out unless he starts up again and I must put a restraining order on him. I am so tired of fighting, I just want peace and quiet.

Hey all, Happy 2018. :-) Hope the new year is off to a good start.

I had planned to work (driving ride share) for all of New Year's Eve night, but there weren't that many people out and there were TONS of drivers out so it was quite slow and I decided to go out dancing for a bit instead. I met up with a good friend and we hung out until early morning at a friendly house party. It was nice enough. :-) I drank too much but I had today to recover and nurse myself with soup and tea. My ex sent me some black elderberry syrup that he swears is great for immune. I'm going to try it, hope it will aid my recovery and more than that, will be a good immune boost in general. I could use that!

It would've been a pretty decent start to the new year except my car was towed. Chicago is THEE WORST when it comes to ticketing for expired meters, ticketing for anything and everything, red light cameras, speed cameras, and towing quickly and often. The lot I parked my car in was unmanned (and almost empty) when I parked around midnight. I would've been happy to pay them and I've used that lot before when there is no street parking close to this one night spot I frequent. I left a note on the dash with my phone number asking them to call me if they returned to the lot and I'd pay them. Alas, the car was towed. :-( Pricey mistake and I didn't need that hassle. Sigh. Chicago is THEE WORST for this type of thing, though. So I think it means that I need to take public transportation and ride share more often. I can't keep paying several hundred dollars a month in tickets and other car-related expenses like that.

I wanted to share something that happened after I had picked up my car from the tow lot and was driving the 20 minutes back home. I wasn't in the best mood due to the towing, plus it is so very cold out, so I was cranky. There was a person driving in the middle of my lane, going same way as I was, and instead of picking one lane or the other, they drove down the middle. Not a huge deal, as the street was poorly marked and it wasn't super clear that there were 2 lanes, I thought they were making honest mistake. They were also doing about 10mph under speed limit though, too, and when I had a chance to pass them, I put my accelerator all the way down to be able to zip around them. BUT THEN... they gunned their engine, too, as if they didn't want to allow me to pass, and that was only the beginning! Then they tailgated me, at one point they screeched their brakes because they almost rear ended me, or they were trying to intimidate me, not sure. Very weird, but it happens, that people act like lunatics on the road, and I picked my phone up to call police but... I didn't think the situation would escalate further, and it didn't. So this driving in the middle of the road at 10mph under speed limit was no accident, but was some person doing this driving technique to mess with another car. What a weirdo! I had a moment of wondering if they were unhinged enough to actually DO anything to me or my car, thankfully nothing serious happened.

I had quite a bit of adrenaline surge when that happened, when they started tailgating me, and after the danger had passed I thought about how it felt. I thought about the fact that I'll get that sensation sometimes when there is no danger around, that I live all the time with a low level anxiety feeling. ANY DAY NOW I'm going to join the gym down the street here and start working out again. I think it will help immensely with my anxiety and I have to take better care of myself if I'm going to achieve my work goals this year.

Just a self-focused ramble, wanted to share about the crazy driver, mostly.... :-) lol

Stacey, I'm happy your doggy is improving, poor thing.

rainey the only change you can make is between your ears and in your heart. Bad bro is not worth your health breaking down. It is so hard when it is a family member/sibling hurting us. Every time I think I have let my sis hurt my heart for the last time, it happens again, hence the no or very low contact. I don't know any other way to protect myself. It must be much harder when (s)he lives near by.

I have a couple of good food stores within a few blocks but at the temps we have been having I was not going out. Ah, I just checked and it is up to 14F. Wow! A heat wave!!! Grocery shopping soon!!!!

Praying for peace and quiet for you. (((((hugs)))))

ali - Happy New Year! Too bad about the car tow. That incident in the road must have been scary. It sounds deliberate.  Nasty!!!!  Low level anxiety is no fun.  We can get into a fight or flight mode too easily. Working on the issues helps. Don't go too crazy at the gym, easy does it. Even start with an outside or mall walk most days of the week. ((((((hugs)))))

AliBoBali, both of us are from Chicago, lived other places, and met in Denver. We've lived 20 plus years in a SMALL town out west now, and neither of us thinks we could cope with stuff like you said happened tonight... we only deal with cougars (both kinds), coyotes, rattlesnakes, drunken Indians, and stuff like that now.... Happy New Year everybody!

Mally, I know exactly what you mean. I grew up in Denver, now I am in a small town. I would never go back to the big city. No traffic, no frustration due to it. Mostly people behave.

Ali, maybe a small town is in your future yet... Happy you are ok. Darn, the car got towed. Take care of you.

Happy New Year, mally. I think I would prefer to deal with your stuff too. Here we have forest fires blizzards, bears, bison, blackflies...

glad -me too. I want to move to a smaller place where nowhere is more than a 10 minute drive away and the rush hour is rush minutes. Sigh, I miss those days here.

Bison? Really? Wild ones? We have rattlesnake and coyote much easier to deal with than agitated drivers. And blizzards here too. I actually enjoy a big snow.

Happy New Year!
Ali at first I am thinking that the person was drunk and taking the middle to be safe. That sounded really scary. Nice to bring in the year dancing and cheeful.

I discovered that lechitin (which I was taking while doing herbal and vitamin experiments to treat lymphedema in my leg) works well to prevent a hangover or any kind of over after a night of drinking. When I worked EMS we did a lot of drinking getting together if we or another unit had a bad call. Nothing like a good laugh or cheer. I had taken two one night and knew I should have been sick the next day but I wasnt. So I tried it again, It works and works for me that is. For some reason I thought you were in NY. My son just visited a friend somewhere in Chicago. He and his wife were saying they dont call it the windy city for nothing!

Well my New Year was an extended ride home. My relief, whom I had to orientate was late1/2 hour and then part of my two hour trip was spent sitting in train and finally have train service totally dirupted. So I had to wait forever for a bus, it was freezing. Guy gave me the wrong sandwich order and it took me about 3hour to get home.

My real thing is that I am deeply stressed about my situation. I know deep down that it is the same thing over and over. That I need to break the circle somehow. I just dont know how. I feel as if I have totally missed some important key in life. Sometimes I feel like its going to be alright and that justice will prevail. Then I look and think how I been in the shiesty circle all my life. I feel like I am missing and integral sense that I allwo myself to stay here.

I look at the things that are said and feel the spite behind believing and thinking such things regardless that its wrong Just the fact to believe the trype of sh##t I get accused of. I am overwhelmed. there is so much in me that I have to figure out and work on so much in me that I am now seeing I truly dont understand. I began to wonder about my mother saying "there's something wrong with you" being true because who in their right mind would stay in this hell. I am getting more panic symptoms, my heart racing no when I am thinking on my way home. Oh yes I stand up and stick my chest out but deep down inside this shit is tearing me apart. I am so looking forward to getting the therapy that is in the works. I cant afford rent. then I feel I have just as much a right to live in my mothers house as my sister. No stove, no microwave. I cant even heat up her meals on wheels. Ive been planning to buy a microwave, but I am holding off to see how this is dealt with when the homeattendant comes. that covection oven is not good for heating. I bought a double hot plate also but really its sad that my sister and nephew are ok with feeding my mother street food.

I keep praying it gives me hope. I spoke to a cousin and she was saying like we need intervention. That one of the elders now deceased would have nipped this nonsense in the budd. I just know that part of the solution is checking my self and accepting my truth. I think I do that or at least I try. I dont make up lies so I can be right. I am so tire of being wrongfully accused. Its abusive. My ex used to accuse me of looking at other men and sleeping with them. My mother everything under the sun, taking her money, trying to take the house, My sister trying to hurt my mother. Now cursing her out and stressing her into a stroke. I pray this comes to an end and I see some justice and not on that I live to see it.

Yup, Golden, rush hour here is rush minutes. I am close to my office about 1.5 miles. Even if I lived on the edge of the county I would still be within 15 minutes, and without traffic!

glad - if you drive north to Fort Chip you can encounter bison on the road - and you wait till they are out of the way. Our traffic here is quite bad now compared to when we first came. It's rush hour now.

duck - Happy New Year! Hope you can get into therapy and work some of these things out. I know you are deeply stressed and I agree with your cousin about an intervention. So sorry about the accusations. They are abusive and very hurtful. ((((((hugs))))) Prayers always help.

Happy New Year everyone! I dunno about you, but I was certainly glad to see the back end of 2017!

Duck - Adele is an award-winning British singer - maybe you know some of her songs like Rolling in the Deep (youtube.com/watch?v=-fmCoUjOMXU) or Hello (youtube.com/watch?v=DfG6VKnjrVw)? (We cover those 2.) I want to say she's a pop singer, but I'd more say she's a good old fashioned torch song singer. She has tremendous power - but also exquisite control over that power.  Her songs are definitely among the most challenging for me to sing!

golden - I'm actually in the Thompson Valley. "The 'Loops," as we call our fair city, lol. I sing and I play rhythm guitar, though I've been playing less guitar lately with the band....not really because I want to, but because with my injury, it's quite painful to stand in the same position behind a microphone stand all night. We have a lead guitarist too, so it's working out ok. :-) I am tempted to order some of our foodstuffs online too! Grocery shopping is becoming a PITA!

Rainey - I feel your pain with badbro. I have a cousin like this, always trying to get money or loan co-signers out of family.....and he manipulates everyone into trying to see it as a measure of family and love. Which is just gross. He can't even remember how to spell my name or my brother's. So much for family and love! I've intervened a few times and the last time, he felt the full force of my menopausal rage....he hasn't asked since!

Ali - that's definitely one of the weirder stories I've read about aggressive drivers! Sometimes I see such weird things on the road, that I wonder how many people are trying to play "Grand Theft Auto" (the video game) for real....

glad - ha ha, I call it "rush minute" here, too! After driving in Vancouver, things seem so tame where I am now.

So the gig went pretty well except my voice was starting to crack up near the end of the night. Our new song (Katy Perry's Firework) was so fun we did it twice! We also got asked to do all the Adele twice. There WAS a small contigent in the crowd that were grumpy because they wanted a country band. Even though we sent the set list in advance!!! And even though we DID do some country and country rock. We played till 2 and I think I got to sleep around 5. We (the band) were just sitting around talking and laughing in one of the hotel rooms till 4:30 - that's a sign of a good gig, lol. (We didn't play at the hotel this time, but we have before, so they gave us the staff rate on the rooms, which was a really sweet deal at $35 each!)

I had to get up at 10:30 to take care of the business end of things (I don't mind this job - it means I get all the receipts in my name, which is helpful at tax time!), and then help tear down our gear.  SUPER tired driving back, though - had to stop for a giant (terrible) coffee along the way.

Everything with mom seemed to go off without a hitch - regular texts from BFF and her hubby, who took turns coming over to check in. Then this afternoon when we were packing up our gear, I got a phone call from the nurse at the dialysis unit. Apparently mom had a fall last night and the nurse wanted to know the details. Gulp! Bad caregiver! Out playing rock and roll music at a party while her elderly mother is alone and falling down! (First night I've left her alone since June.)

Anyway, I guess mom self-disclosed this, BFF knew nothing about it. I think they must have asked her if she'd had any falls - they need to know if she hits her head so that they don't give her blood thinners that day. I don't know if she really fell or if she's confusing it with the 2 falls she had Thursday night. She seemed ok when I got back and picked her up, though.....oh except that she had apparently dressed herself in a flimsy windbreaker that morning, even though it's 15 below (celsius) out!

It was -28 where we played last night. I'm really appreciating -15 right now, to be honest.

I'm back at the hospital with Pam. She has lifelong asthma and chronic bronchitis and now metastatic lung cancer. Her breathing difficulties are extending beyond what nebulizer treatments can handle. So here we are at hospital. Respiratory therapist has given her two breathing treatments. She was worn out from coughing and not sleeping. Sue left to go back to her apartment and get some rest. I haven't been sleeping much anyway, so I Stayed. They weighed her in the ER and she had lost three pounds since her last visit. She said she had only been able to eat a little oatmeal and a little soup. She's always thin, so losing weight is not a good thing. She is having a consult with pulmonologist later this morning. The intense coughing is also causing her back pain to intensify. So definitely not an easy night for her.

Hope everyone had a nice New Year's. Mine was very different. Teenage guys acting being teenage. Definitely not my circus, not my monkeys. PJ handled that. They went out bobsledding and someone brought a bottle (they needed warmed up was the story). Mostly guys home from college and seeing high school friends. Then contending with a 9-yr old with broken leg and bored with inactivity. Then this run to the hospital. But still way better than some years I've had in the past with my dys family. So I guess one has to put it all in perspective.

Dorianne, Good that your overnight gig went okay and that things went fairly well with Mom. I'm sure it was a good break for you, although tiring.

Golden, We have moose, black bears, fishers, porcupines and raccoons. Moose regularly butt one of the boys trucks - it's bright red - the only color they really see clearly. Bears try to get in trash or gardens. I live in a one stop light town and it is only a yellow flashing light - so not much traffic.

Temperature sign at bank says minus 21 F. We've settled into the usual winter here. Couple inches of fresh snow every night and bitter temperatures. Spring is a long way time away. I'll start getting plant and seed catalogs in the next week or two, so I can look at pretty pictures.

Hi dori - ah, the Loops. It can get pretty hot there too. Glad the gig went well. Sounds like fun. Also glad you made the drive back safely. Mum had a fall - maybe! Just when you were away. Hope she s OK. Warming up a bit here as well.

Becky - sorry to hear that Pam is not doing well. hope the pulmonologist can help her. Oh those teenage boys!!! Sounds pretty typical. I am glad that PJ can handle them. You had quite a night. I think they call it "life." Yes, way better than some of the antics your dysfun fam have put you through.

We have moose in the bush around, but not in the city. Deer live in the ravines in the city, and eat my cedars.Middle son hit one on his way home once - dented his a car. You have a lot of wildlife. I have seen coyotes and foxes in residential areas, and once a wolf. I think the fire drove some of them to other areas. We will see if any deer turn up this winter. We have less bear sightings now than we used to. Same temp here, and warmer days forecast. Pretty pictures help!

Becky, the night I drove down to my bro's house, his oldest (freshman in college) was having a party with about 30 kids coming over to their basement, and I was the official chaperone. The ages are the same, 19-20 (a few were older), and there was some drinking. No one seemed visibly tipsy. I trusted my nephew's choice in friends and limits. He's a very good kid. Also, their generation has been raised with responsible ideas, such as having a designated driver, no tolerance for driving while intoxicated. I talked to a few of the kids and everyone echoed these ideas of their own accord, so I figured... they were ok. It was a weird moment not knowing what to do when my nephew confesses to me that his parents (out at a movie) didn't know he and friends would be drinking. 😳 He didn't seem intoxicated, promised me it would be minimum drinking, and everything did turn out ok. But whew! I can understand why PJ would make decision to take keys away! 

My sympathies to Pam.  It's got to be tough to be so ill.  

...

I have an ongoing discomfort and soreness in my jaw, like a TMJ pain.  I thought I'd see if some drops in my ear would help, though.  So strange to have pain start up from seemingly nowhere and nothing, so it could be a minor infection that's lingering.  I was thinking to use some Apple Cider Vinegar solution.  Just mentioning because you guys tend to be wizards with the home remedies and advice on these things, and thought you might have other ideas for me.  I just want to rule out that it's infection.  

Hi all, my Charlie-Girl is on the mend, now able to walk (after getting a Rabies shot on Friday afternoon), she is eating and drinking, peeing, and can now walk and jump up and down off of the couch, and finally able to do a full body shaky shake, which she normally does frequently throughout the day but was unable to do because of the pain. So on the mend, whew!

Ali, very scary scenario on the drive home, we hear a lot of those stories on the news here, one time I witnessed a car cut off a motorcyclist, and n revenge the cyclist went up alongside the offending car and kicked his driver door (on the freeway going 60 mph!), and the car driver was so stunned, he lost control and caused a 4 car accident, thankfully I was on the inside lane, right behind them and missed being in the accident, but I did pull over and give my statement. Not sure if they caught the guy or not. Motorcyclists are always in danger on the road, but his actions could have killed somebody, they did not, this time!! That is only one of many scary experiences I've had, I don't like driving anymore! Plus, Two of my Son's have motorcycles and I hate it!

Dori, glad you gig was successful and hopefully a nice break for you, all due to your advanced preparation! Sounds like you Mom did Fine too!

Becky, sorry about Pam's breathing difficulties, that is the worst, and can be so scary! We have a lot of Asthmatics in my family and I've cared for a lot of patients having emergency breathing episode's in my work over the years too, you never get comfortable with Asthma! Hope she is feeling better soon!

After several days of dog watching, I'm planning on taking down my Christmas decorations, Yay, the holidays are officially Over! Welcome 2018!!!

Take care everybody!

Well, my husband is back at work after spending his holiday vacation with a very bad flu. By amazing luck, I did not catch it but could not have Mom over for Christmas because I was scared to death she might get it and it was a particularly nasty strain. So......between the sickness, the dysfunctionals rearing their heads and Mom's memory getting exceedingly worse, it was not a fun holiday.
So, here I am, able to finally clean the house properly, do laundry, vacuum and have some "me time." Oh, it is marvelous at this moment, you may find me silly, but I have my Christmas scented candles burning, Christmas songs playing on Pandora, (something my husband doesn't like) and I am having my own private peaceful Christmas that I missed out on. I am leaving my tree up for a while longer because it brings me happiness and I could use any form of joy I can get right now. I don't care if everyone else is whipping down all their Christmas stuff, I will enjoy my own private nostalgic feelings so I don't feel totally robbed of the joy of what was once one of my favorite holidays.

Go for it Rainey! Ours is half up, half down.

Pam is still in the hospital. The cancer is spreading in her lungs and is damaging the lining and pleura. Since she is on palliative care-they will continue comfort measures. She will be going home on oxygen. She is staying in the hospital for another 24 hours of breathing treatments. They are arranging for home respiratory treatments. Pain specialist visited and wrote scripts for a new mattress topper and chair pad for her recliner. I called to make sure how it needed to be written with her supplemental insurance. They were very helpful and directed me to a local vendor that will bill them directly. These are mostly new experiences for me. Her friend Sue has experience with the same insurance. She gave me a long list of names and numbers for various situations. Plus Pam has a list from when she took care of her husband with cancer. She seems to be feeling better with the breathing treatments.

Rainey
Last year, at the suggestion of some very creative people, I hung twinkle lights in the bathroom, making it a sanctuary. Hubs spends ALL his time in there anyway, so why not?
Music, check.
Lights, check
Rubber duckies, check.

Left them up all year!

Becky,
Poor Pam, I will hope she manages to pull through somehow, I still believe in positive thought but if it is not meant to be, she was ever so lucky to have you there at her side during the worst of it.

Sendhelp,
Since I was a designer, I believe in whatever brings you joy instead of playing by the rules. My tree I spend days on "really" and it is a work of art. I take a lot of pride in it because I have collected wonderful ornaments since I was a child on up so my collection is extensive. No theme tree here! Mom ooooh's and ahhh's and say's it would take her hours to see everything I have tucked in and placed for the best lighting. Maybe that makes a little more sense why I am never in a hurry to whip it down. I look in through the glass doors at night when it's lit up, it just feels magical! Has to be behind the glass or my cats would destroy it in 10 minutes. LOL!