The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Becky, KNOCK ON WOOD! My ex was awful, the end of the world when he got sick. But, one time it was real, he had somehow contracted giardia. It was awful. Then there was the time he cut off the very tips of his fingertips, just several layers of skin really, with the table saw cutting down a pine wood racer for our son's cub scout derby. 😴

Becky, it sounds like a long process. Rest up for D-Day extractions!

Anyone ever heard of a cyclone bomb before? It is a new one on me. Who is experiencing it?

Not me; hope everyone is safe and warm

I think it went east!

Chicago is on the rebound from the very cold temps of the past week. That bomb cyclone thingy went to the NE of USA. Heard it dumped tons of snow.

I had first visit with new PCP today. She backed up some of my theories about my health issues and gave me new ideas. She doesn't want me using benzodiazepines if I'm not having acute anxiety. She wants to Rx me sleep aids instead and see if my getting better sleep doesn't fix some issues. I'm all for trying.  She was telling me that benzos are muscle relaxants, they're all around body/brain relaxants, and it will have side effects and withdrawal even if I only take 1x every week or two. She noticed my jaw is swollen from TMJ and said to use heat. I had read online about using warmed rice to help the area, a common treatment for earaches and TMJ, so it's time for me to do that and see if it helps. Overall it was a good visit with her, she tested for blood sugar levels and liver enzymes, I follow up in 2 weeks and go from there.

I'm rewriting my resume for elder care field jobs I've seen posted online. I've half-done a rewrite that way before, now I'm including all the right key words and looking for hospital or facility sales positions. The industry very well might break my soft heart... or maybe I find a way to help people in common situations, something I'm familiar with. I'd have to get hired first though, haha. Anyway, just trying to keep up some effort on that front -- I do need better employment although I'm getting by for now.

Had a 2nd date tonight with a guy I've been conversing with since October. I think we like and understand each other. I don't expect it to be a love match, but friends is fine with me. Sometimes it's just nice to have good company and it was a fun night out with him.

Hope all you NE Americans are getting dug out from the snow. ((((hugs))))

Never heard of the cyclone bomb, until they said it was coming for a visit here in Maine. Seems to be a fast moving blizzard. Our power is out - probably for a few days. It's been snowing hard for about 12 hours. Fortunately, no one has appointments. School is cancelled for the day. We already had about 2-1/2 feet of snow on the ground. Local weather says we got another 2 feet. At least we're not near the coast and didn't get the water and ice. We have both wood stoves cranked up and are warm. We filled both emergency water tanks in the garage since we have a well with electric pump. Plenty of bottled water. Have all of the bathtubs filled to flush toilets. We picked Pam up so she wouldn't be stuck at her apartment alone. My brother is out of town on business, so he's getting to miss this mess. We all took nice hot showers in the afternoon right before it arrived. So we're good. I wonder how Barb and Duck are doing in NYC and East Eagle in Boston? Boston news station had some bad looking film on television. Maine in winter - always a new adventure.

NYC is very cold right now (11 above). They closed schools but central offices were open, so I went in. My subway lines were all running. Driving this am was interesting, but not terrible Stay warm!

Good Barb! Was worried about you and the storm. Still snowing and getting colder.

Ah, Maine! Stay safe!

Without electricity how do get tv or even internet, Becky, Barb and Duck. Do most people have emergency generators? How are the generators powered? Why wouldn't toilets work? Ahh, the questions, I have never had to deal with coastal storms. Cultural differences I guess.

Rural folks on wells need electricity to pump the water Gladimhere. There has been a lot of news space here given to remembering the ice storm 20 years ago, thankfully that one missed us but I live in fear of winter blackouts.

We have two small emergency generators. Enough power to keep lights, cell phones charged. Let the boys charge up Game Boys and DS's. Keep them occupied. We saw about 20 power trucks going out the road. Watch TV for weather only.  Not enough for heat or water pump.

I use my cell service for internet. We have a small camp TV. It uses batteries or we can plug in for to watch weather. Not fun, but one can get by.

send - I melted chocolate on top for icing ~

sharyn -yes those people are very intrusive and I expect it isn't over Talked with oldest son last night and he said the next step is to tell them to stay off my property or I will call the police. You are right about that flu, exactly what happened to me. I did not have a tight chest this morning and felt like eating normal breakfast, so I guess I am on the mend, thankfully. Haven't coughed much either. I eat my greens!!! Sounds like you had a great time with your son. Sorry about hubs. Toothaches are miserable.

becky - It will be good to have those extractions and the initial work of the implants behind you, I rarely get pain after dental procedures. I take a painkiller before I go and also a decongestant to stop post nasal drip. It seems to work. Oh wow, you are getting WEATHER!!! Sounds like you are well set up to survive it. You can always run the car for a while too and maybe get some radio signals. How many times here have I filled up the bathtub and flushed the toilets with buckets of water? And kept the temp in the house up by the fire in the fireplace. Power outages were very common when we first moved here. Stay warm!!!

dori - ah -the first scrape -that one hurts. Hope you and kitty had a good sleep! (((((hugs)))) to you.

glad - giardia nasty!!! Also cutting off fingertips. Middle son once cut off a chunk off his finger tossing a buck knife around. We arrived home from a trip south to find blood all over the bathroom, and ds saying he had hit his head on the porcelain when he passed out' He had just come to when we got home. Ex took him to hospital and they cauterized it with silver nitrate - a very unpleasant experience for him. I took the knife away! Still makes me shudder to think of it. What you missed if you never had to fill every container in the house with water!!!

book - I used avast for years till one pop up jammed my computer and I had to take it in to be fixed. Never found a virus I couldn't get rid of, but my antivirus program got the best of me. How's that for irony? I am trying it again now.

mally - thx I strongly believe in the power of prayer.

ali - your new PCP sounds good. I hope you can work out some of your issues with her. Good sleep is crucial. Employment in eldercare could be a good thing for you. At least you know what you are getting into. Enjoy your date. Friends are good.

becky -wow that is a lot of snow

cwillie -that was Ontario wasn't it?

barb - sounds like things are working where you are. I am always amazed at schools being shut for those temps. When I was a kid and (rarely) it got too cold for us to walk to school the parents drove us, sort of an informal car pool. Everyone knew everybody, so it was safe. The joys of a small town!

Having decided to go for a co-POA and personal agent health with oldest son and dd, I had my decision supported when dd texted me that she could not do any cleaning for me as she had too many health issues. She goes back and forth so much. A month ago she was upset with me that I was considering hiring someone else to clean as she said she would do it and they needed the money. This pattern repeats itself in different ways. I love my daughter, but I know I cannot count on her. She has done some very good things for me, and sometimes not so good. Oldest son said he would do it if that was what I wanted and was happy at the thought of sharing it with his sister He had little idea of what was involved so I gave him an idea and said that most of the financials can be done electronically, meetings can be skyped and there may not be many of them. Looking after mother would not have been so bad, if she had not had BPD. If I develop dementia, then they will have to do the best they can. We talked about middle son's role, and oldest son was concerned that middle son didn't feel rejected. I need to think about how to talk to middle son and give him the opportunity for feedback, and, hopefully decide for himself that he has enough to do. I told my oldest son that I expected that all of them would be involved and on the same page for any significant health decisions about me. He agreed, and we didn't see that as a problem no matter how things are set up on paper. I may be able to set it up with all three, but only two of the three signatures required. I need to talk to my bank and see what restrictions they put on POA's and how to best set up things. Now, to talk to dd about it. I am not sure how she will take this idea, I will have to wait till she is on a more even keel, and then will ask to speak with her and her hub together. He is a very sensible steady guy, and his mum is already in an NH, so he has a little experience. I think his sister is POA, but the sibs discuss things. Making progress!

To my surprise, I got an offer in the cottage lot - definitely low but I made a counter offer and will stay firm with it, I think. They would get a good deal and I would get money towards moving forward with a condo. I figure what you lose on the swings, you gain on the merry-go rounds. It all works out in the end. If the market is low you sell low, but you buy low too.

Time for a rest. Have a good day everyone ((((((hugs))))))

It's bitterly cold here in upstate NY but so far only about 4" of snow and no power outages. We do have a generator powered with propane that keeps the important stuff cging like fridge, freezer, well pump and furnace plus some lights and outlets. Can't use the stove put can plug in a single ring to cook. We also have a wood stove that we keep cranked up anyway. There is also enough wood on the property to keep us in firewood for many years to come.

Out of the dozens of blood draws I've had in my life, I've never had an issue with one until yesterday. It was fine upon first insertion of the needle, and around the 3rd vial, I felt a bad burning sensation I wasn't expecting and jerked back from the needle. I apologized to the phlebotomist tech gal and told her about the burning. She said it was due to the rubbing alcohol on surface of my skin being pushed into my vein. Today, my entire upper right arm above where they drew blood is very sore. What is this? Veronica, or any other nurses, do you know about this? I'm just curious. 

Edit: I Googled it and seems it's common enough... of course... I'm not concerned that anything  bad is going on.  Just strange.  It hurt like heck and now the whole upper arm is sore.  

Hi Alison I told hubby Dr about your experience. he said it has nothing to do with the alcohol swab and the phlebomist may have hit a nerve or artery. As it is above the insertion site it could be something really serious like a thrombosis. Is there any kind of lump? if so is it pulsating? Do you have any loss of sensation in your hand ,paleness of skin or tingling in the fingers.
Hubby thinks you should be seen possibly tonight in the ER. is there any redness or swelling in the upper arm?
At the very least they can give you some analgesia for the pain.
Up to you of course but better safe than sorry. Good luck

Ali I agree with Veronica, get it checked out - and if it's getting worse not better then run don't walk. The explanation annoys me, too. The third vial, so at least a minute or two after the alcohol swab - it would all have evaporated long before, and as for 'being pushed into your vein' - hooey. She hit something or went through something and you've at least got a nasty internal bruise there by the sound of it. Is there anything to see?

Pity - most phlebotomists I've ever met have been absolutely brilliant, could almost literally get blood out of a stone. Maybe you were too easy for her!

Bit of luck they'll just send you home - but absolutely better safe than sorry, yes.

Ali
I've had that burning sensation during a blood draw which I attributed to being a tough stick and a newish tech but I don't remember having a sore arm other than a bruise at the draw site

Golden, School is rarely out in Maine. My son went 12 years without ever having a snow/cold day.

Snow is over. We now have between 5-6 feet on the ground. PJ got the driveway and walks plowed. Got everything pushed to the back of lot. Still have no power. Emera worker came around about 4:00 pm. He said without any further problems power should be on before dark tomorrow. I've done okay cooking on the wood stove. I moved it from the farm last summer and we installed in the little dining room. I had to fool around with it some to get everything adjusted right. Pam couldn't remember anything about Grandma cooking on it other than ER boiling big tea kettles full of hot water to do the dishes. Got the oven adjusted and made biscuits for dinner. Made fried chicken in cast iron skillets which the boys loved. All of us have spent most of the day reading. PJ took the boys outside for an hour or so.

I guess I shouldn't mention SoCal might get a little rain next week

DysfunctionAL is a nice word describing my family ..years of abuse and neglect from my mother and step parent has scarred me and my brother for life the 3 kids her and "step parent "(monster) had were treated good..I've been doing her cleaning ,shopping, Dr appt, and etc..she has got so difficult to do for..she screams, critizes and wants me to do everything..I've had to quit..it was hard enough before she got like she is..but now I just can't take it..thanks for letting me vent.

lol MsMadge...

Thanks for feedback, Veronica. The pain was intense.  They always clean with alcohol, the needle had been inside for a minute, why the sudden, severe pain I've never felt before?  There are no marks or bruising at the site, just internal soreness. I wonder if she didn't hit a nerve. I read online that is not uncommon, too. I don't think I'm in any danger but "better safe than sorry" is always good advice. I'll read some more online.

If I get any numbness, tingling, change of color, hot patch (I've had that before and suspected a clot) then I'll get to ER.  It's only sore in my entire bicep area of right arm, but no color changes or throbbing. 

veronica - stay warm and stay safe!!!!!!!!

madge - a little rain, eh. raspberry, if I could find one! 😊

ali - make sure you are OK.

cm -blood out of a stone -now that's talent

becky - they grow them tough in Maine! Cooking on a wood stove is an adventure. We did it every summer at my grandfather's camp. Making coffee was an art. You got water from the lake in the old blue enamel pot, spooned in the ground coffee, then brought it just to the boil three times, letting it settle in between, then finally let it sit about 5 minutes. By that time you probably were so ready for a coffee, it tasted like heaven.

granny4 - welcome - sounds like you fit well here. Yes, we are affected for life. There is often a servant child in a dysfun fam. Many of us are that and are learning better deal with or to get out of the role. We understand not being able to handle it. You have to look after you.

Well the hits keep coming. Figured I was well enough over the flu to go shopping and renew some prescriptions. Got to the drug store and found that one of my prescriptions is back ordered to March. That's my FM drug that keeps the pain away and one I have had withdrawal symptoms going off before. Great! The ghost images are not better, in fact worse, if anything. So between not getting new glasses till the middle of February, if indeed that improves my vision and not getting my FM drug till March sometime I am going to wish I could just teleport myself somewhere far away. I will have to be very careful about driving during this time. DD has said she would help, but right now I doubt it. I think she needs a change of mood drugs. I probably will need some too! And, likely as a result of the stress from those wacky people, my CFS/FM acted up; and I had some numbness on my feet worse that I have even had it before. It's gone now and I hope they are.

😝 there you go, Golden, a raspberry for you. 🍓

Golden, You are having a time of it. So bad for you about the FM medication and your glasses.

Wood stove is tricky, but I do think some things taste better. Biscuits and corn bread for starters. PJ and I are not coffee drinkers, so that's not an issue. 

Becky04473, good news on the weather front it may be 50 next week lol

All of you dealing with storm back east, stay safe and warm. You all seem to have it under control. No word from DDuck, hoping she is ok.

Golden, not having the FM meds is not going to be good. Is there no alternative med you can use in the meantime. I just order milk weed balm/cream. Going to give it a try for my back discomfort.

Ali, hope your arm is better. Take care and seek medical help if you feel it has progressed.

Becky, 5-6 ft of snow! Wow! We had rain last night. It does not seem to have melted much snow.

Dd has returned to SoCal and back to work today( for me).