The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

I was reading that this year is the worst year for flu in a long time. Everyone take care. 

I'm back to the cafe tomorrow after a relaxing Sunday. I expect that I'll have fewer stress-related flare ups as things move forward and settle down into a new normal for me. And the new PCP seems helpful so far. I'll try a sleep aid and cross my fingers that it fixes some things. If not, I will go from there. I'm feeling better than I have in years, though. I feel that things are going well and decent for first time in some years. My auctions with online consignor are doing well and once these are done, I'll continue to liquidate all of my vintage jewelry collections. This is great! This is what I needed to do -- to simplify, downsize, and get all-things tidied up post caregiving. It's happening, and I'm grateful. :-)

Golden, I got a new IPhone 8. I've had it back to the provider store twice. They've ordered me a new one. Hope the replacement is better. I had no choice but to get implants because of cardiac problems. I've had pericarditis once and didn't want a repeat.

Ali, Good that things are going better. I'm selling all of my Mom's designer handbags online consignment. I've done well. I've sold 10 so far. Have about 30 left to list. I may start on some of her vintage costume jewelry next.

Pam is getting along well with her nurses's. Jay and I like both of them. She has had three good days in a row. The doctor switched one of her meds and it seems to be controlling the coughing better. This evening we went to the hot tub and Pam had some of her wine. We managed to get in and out without breaking anything. Pam was worn out after our little adventure. Our aunt Mary is coming from Houston to see Pam on Wednesday. She will be staying until Sunday. We're both looking forward to seeing her. One of her daughter's may come with her. I haven't seen them since 1991. So that would be good too.

I hope that everyone has had a good weekend. I'm off from everything and plan on sleeping late if I can.

Rainey, I read your post and started crying my eyes still water as I type. I sent you a hug. A big one from the bottom of my heart. I wish I could give you a real one. Deep down inside I know its all going to be alright. You are probably the loving caring person and that is why we get attacked. I realized a long time ago this is not our fight per say. We need help in this from the higher power we are only human alot of this stuff is pure evilness.

Bookluvr, your post cheered me up a lot. I got a good laugh because that's exactly what happend poof!!!. They meant something to me be not want she thought. They werent just my soon it was people who I would think she would have some honor for. Deceased aunts, pic of my mother young. I had found one of her oldest when he was young and wanted to get magnets. Well what the hell. Now theres nothing on the fridge I just pray she gets reckoned one day. and all that ignorance. But it will probably be like my mother I would tell her everynow and then that if she really saw the stuff that she did she would probably go crazy.

Becky, I hope you and Pam and your brother are good. I just learned from my cousin that her markers went up and they changed her meds and how sick she got from the first dose. I tried not to cry over the phone but all I could think was her down the road, the pain the suffering. She's 40 or so and has had to mastectomies. I hate to say hate but I hate the C word and what it means.
I thought about the power struggle. I just try to do the right thing. My sister turns it upside down and around thats the demon lol. So I come out thursday afternoon and I find a big black bag with a dried up christmas tree and think to my self who put their tree here and wondering if I should rebag it for pick up friday morning. I happen to turn around and I see this big old dried up christmas tree still smelling good, inside the gate. I am like WTF. I acually voiced the words wondering why someone would drag this tree in the gate like its malice, who would do this and why would they put it here!! So I go on to get this microwave some groceriess all my running I get back drag the tree out swep all the broken branches and this eerrie lot of thorn balls from the tree in front. Its not our tree but it grows mostly our front those balls give me the creeps its so many and you see them in rows of them lining the shoveled snow where people have cleaned their walks. So I sweep them up good and clean. I was gettn the iebbie jeibies every time I saw them. So friday morning is garbage pick up for out side of street. I come out friday and the tree is Back!! in the gate and they did not pick up the tree in torn garbage bag. I sleep late so I went on to laundry and seeing the men didnt pick up the tree bag I took it and dropped it in a street garbage can on my way to the laundry. So now I realize its my sister who is dragging this tree in the gate. I am frustrated because its not ours why put it there what is the point. Lots of trees on the street up and down block. So I dragged it back out. Now normally I am always carting bags of trash and junk from house to street everyonge keeps saying you going to get a ticket. Been doing it for ever. My mother used to wait till I am leaving to go home and give me some nasty bag she was holdind for me to dump on my way home. So I would have easlily dragged that tree to a corner garbage so I drag it out and then I make my mind that if she drags it back it will just stay there untill she moves it. It was gone sat when I got out.
This is the kind of crazy I live with. Then!!!! I have so much more Yikes.

Please bare with me. I had to break the book down a little.f
Golden (((hugs))) I hope you are healing well from the procedures.
Ali (((hugs))) hope job is going well. I tried a natural sleep aid was hoping it would work so I could post it. My dear deceased cousin acutally bought me some sleeptime herbal tea. It did work. I forgot about it.
So my twisted gets a cousing to come sit with my mother. I came in from work, she gave him a key :(
Anyways this cousin like smoked us out when my son was here and we did a cook out. It was his going to korea party. There was a lot of food, it was nice but what i noticed was how this cous. just took what he wanted without asking I mean cleaned up and out. It was no big deal if he had asked I or my son would have said sure. I guess he knew that. But it was the princelple. I love iced tea and someone bought some from their resturant not sweetend and I had fixed my mouth for it. I saw him just take it and I kept my mouth shut. The smoke came from him trying to start the grill up. I acutatlly thought he knew what he was doing had I known I would have schooled him on the down low. But I was busy inside doing other stuff clean meat and cleaning period. My son brings me stress with his events becaxue the house is a messs. But he works a miracle when he comes even if he would throw me out if I sat still long enough.

Anyways this is sitting with my mother she is actually eating and calm every thing looking good, he tells me he has key and what is the plan. Then!! he start going on about organizing the house and this and that. Then he calls me about what I want to eat so I telml him J just worry about my mother. I am not getting involved with this. Its between you and my sister any questions ask her. I started mopping up the pee and do do and he says oh no! I got this. I was like I wouldnt do that to you just keep her safe. He says he offered and twist told him mop is in bathtub. IYYYe yi yi, that mop in there has about 15 strings on it and they are worn. I would be insulted. So I showed him my mop and how easy its is to mop. I love it. its the hurre mop. I use one bucket with soap and clorox and spinn the dirty water in the spinner pail.
So anyways I mop we talk I tell him to just focus on my mother.My mother was napping I went on up and he called me about food as I mention. I shwed him the gadgets I had bought since the gas was cut off (??) and told him not to plug in to many things. Well he blew a fuse says he came up, I guess I was sleep. But go to my sister she there , for what ever. When I come down later he made this lovely cusine, my sister is filling her tupperware and him has taken all the grease coated bowls (old but good) from the top of the cabinet glass dishes glass tops. took most of the stuff out of the cabinet. bowls and disshes to the brim in the sink then a pan half filled with oil like half a gallon. I was like J you dont need to do this just focus on my mother. That S&^%T is still there. He never came back. My mother is getting lucidity so she has moved some of the stuff to who knows where. He was ardently scrubbing a glass bakeware, which is nowhere to be seen. And guess who, does not have a clue or cares or even check to see if and what was going on. Just got he food and left it I left her in her house coat greedily fixing her tupperware and him washing that dish. I came down next day and the sink was piled and I dont remeber seeing the baking dish. As I have said he takes what he wants.
So I dont know whats going to happen. I know I have to be involved becauae I use the kitchen and have a lot old investments going on. Cant keep up with things with my morther packing up the shopping carts. I have had to replace 3 food choppers I couldnt find only to find later. Certain dishes I use were missing too but the stove will be back on soon she hasnt manage to take the knobbs off so I will have it turned back on. I have plans for a lassagna.

Still waiting for the therapy and when I do get it I will share every step of the way if its anything left of me Lol. When I was trying though the WTC health program, I was scared with anticipation and so very disappointed they didnt take me. My stuff was more family than PTS. I cried. So I hope this pans out. I need help and advice in legal stuff. I dont know what she has done or plans to do. It seems she has someone who is telling her things. She always ask nephew if he called Pat. I think I saw her one day as I was leaving she gave me hard steady look. I just walked past her . I have no respect for any one that will feed into twisted lies and delusions. I think she has been advised to get insurance I saw mail from insurance for my mother and her yesterday.

I still haveint gottent that second bank card I ordered so either they are incomptent or Im not getting my mail. I usually get the mail but some time post comes after i leave for work or sat when I get down to late.

On top of everything, I have issue with my lung from the WTC hoping to get certified from the condition. It is the main problem I had from day one and when I get congested I get scared and depressed when the coughing starts to get bad. I take lots of stuff to avoid and Ive been doing good but i had two bouts in thelast months just as I got better the second one was worse and made me scared. I get scared that I will miss the point where I need to run to er before its to late. I cough up phlem constantley take all kinds of stuff to break it up. mucinex works really good but I take other stuff. So anyway. This wears me out also, mentally, physically and emotionaly which Is why I feel for all who post the medicall issues and dealing with them and there is learnng there as well. Thank goodness the knees are being good "Sussssshhhhh"LOL well its not funny but we have to keep our spirits up if we can. I learned that with EmS when I started I was insulted by the humor but it made me laugh then it good to me. We had phrases for different things where you knew from the wordf what it was. That humor saved our sanity well at least mine cause we saw things. I dont want to start going on and on. I say that to say that humor is good for me when I deal with stress. sometimes I cant find anything funny in anyway shape or form then i know its bad.

I am so glad I found this forum. Its such a blessing. Much love for you all.

Went to meet the contractor at the lake. Everything is finished. Both additions to the main house are finished, along with the renovations to the old guest house. The guest house will now be used for our housekeeper's house. She went with us this am. Everyone likes their new space. M, with his broken leg is the only one who couldn't see his new room upstairs. Jay is moving in his space immediately. I'm going to bring Pam to visit this afternoon. She wants to see all of things I've incorporated from our grandparents farm. The worst part will be getting PJ and the pack rats to clean out their junk at his house - a collection of junk dating back to 1985. I'm glad the construction is done. Coming back we saw a huge bull moose. He crossed road right in front of the truck.

Tomorrow is my first day back at the U. I'm teaching 3 classes. I think I'm ready. PJ is teaching 2 classes. I have to pick up my parking lot assignment and sticker this morning. Always something.

Hello all....haven't been around for about a week or so. Been not feeling too well. Thought it was an ear infection but the doc says it's just fluid pressure leftover from when I was so sick in December....have to take Sudafed and try to make it drain. Meanwhile it hurts like hell and I keep getting dizzy (inner ear balance stuff). Haven't even read to catch up yet. I will catch up this week. There is no internet again! I am just online for a few minutes, tethered to my phone.....I don't know what's going on, but I know I paid the bills 2 weeks ago! And it's an hour wait on the phone for tech support and I can't wait because I have to get mom to dialysis....and of course there won't be any TV for her if there's no internet by the time she gets back. 

And the kitten bit me this morning and mom was arguing with me about what day it is and why she has to go to dialysis if it's not Monday. And why wasn't home support here yet if it's Monday (it was a half hour before they come)? And also the phone wasn't working properly either (because someone just called and said they had the wrong number). And when I pressed her a little to try to remember any other problem happening with the phone this morning (so I could tell tech support when I finally talk to them), she said "Why are you so mean to me!" And then I closed my bedroom door and started crying.

(Edit: oh plus she went into my room while I was out to dinner last night and searched until she found the spare cigarette lighter - which I keep hidden from her on purpose, because FIRE HAZZARD.  And she never told me, I just noticed this morning that she had a lighter that wasn't tethered down like the one she has access to.  So partly why she thinks I'm mean is because I told her she's not allowed to do that.)

Happy frickin' Monday.

I'm eating ice cream for breakfast and trying to get my s*** together.

Dorianne, Hope your Monday has improved. I think having ice cream for breakfast was a perfect start. Candy for lunch might not be a bad idea.

ali ((((((hugs))))) so glad you are feeling better than for years. May it improve and last. Great that your online consignments are going well and bringing in a few $$$. Downsizing is a challenge. My dd consoled me by saying that I have much less in the house than before the fire and that is true.

becky - I was thinking about an iphone 6 - not fancy and smaller, I think, than an 8. I don't use much of the capacity of an iphone. I am in no rush. Glad you are past the danger of infections again. Fortunately I never had any though have had a lot of dental work. Good that your selling is going well too. That's a lot of handbags! Happy to hear good news of Pam and her nurses and of the hot tub adventure. I am not surprised she was worn out after. So nice to have your aunt coming to visit. Wonderful news that the lake house is finished. There probably is work ahead yet getting rooms sorted out. Nice for Pam to see the old things. Seeing moose is OK. Just don't hit one. Good luck with your classes. Having a nostalgic moment here about teaching.

duck - just stay in the high road and disengaged from your sis as much as possible. Hope the cousin continues to do a good job looking after your mum. So sorry about your lung troubles and PTSD from WTC. That's horrible. Hope the counselling comes together soon. You are so right. Laughter/humor is good for us.

dori - so great to hear from you again. Definitely keep those sinuses etc drained. For me that is an ongoing battle due to allergies. I think keeping fire away from mum is a good idea. Hope you got the internet up and running. I am sorry you are disheartened. It sounds to me like you are tired and need a break. Any chance of that? I agree with ice cream for breakfast. It would make me feel better too, but I would need some protein by lunch!

Feeling better again though sinus issues are never far away. I am thinking about my next downsizing effort. I have more and more empty hangers in my closets, so more has gone out than come in, which is great. Time to go through my drawers again, and also to tackle my jewellery chest. But, my next project will be to get rid of some vintage glass that is the dining room cabinet. I need to empty it of everything I don't want to keep, and that is most of it. My entertaining days are over, I think, at least as I used to do them. It feels good.

Have a good evening everyone! Do something good for you even if it is only a few squats. 😊😊😊

Dori, your post reminded me of caregiving life in such a visceral way. I'm smiling but I feel for you. The continual chaos of caregiving is a beast. How do things go so sideways on some days out of seemingly nowhere? I felt like Life wouldn't stop breaking in new ways, also breaking in the same old ways, the entire time I was doing hands on caregiving, haha! You'd better have ice cream for breakfast if it helps you feel better!

Duck, I'm taking melatonin nightly right now to help with sleep, and it does help but it just isn't enough for whatever reason. I do wonder how a sleep aid might help if the melatonin doesn't do the trick, but... that's what PCP is saying she wants to try at this stage of things. I like the melatonin melts and I like putting a couple dabs of lavender oil on the pillow next to me when I sleep. The lavender scent is proven to improve sleep quality, and even if it didn't it smells nice enough.

Becky, good luck with start of new classes. I'm sure you're glad to have remodeling projects completed.

Golden, I don't use many of the features on my iPhone, either, but I do like the quality of the camera on the 6 and later models. And Siri is indispensable at times now that I've gotten accustomed to being able to ask questions on the fly as I'm driving, when I'm looking for nearest *whatever* or other information. I splurged on the 7 a year ago and put it into a protective case right away like the expensive gadget that it is. I'm hoping to not need another phone for another 4+ years. A 6 is a good idea, imo. Not too expensive and has all the features one could want.

Sharyn, is this your first full winter in Idaho?  I'm trying to remember when you moved and I think it was about a year ago but I could be way off.  How are you adjusting to the colder weather?  My jaw was clicking tonight when I was chewing food and I went "aha there's the clicking!"  lol  It hasn't been clicking at all but sure enough, started up today.  As long as the pain is minimal, I'm happy.  :-) 

Becky
So glad you and Pam did the hot tub adventure

Madge, how is mom doing?

Hi glad
The flu seems to be behind her unless this lump on her neck is somehow related

Was able to get her to her pcp today who agreed it was large and seems to be near the carotid -
He's putting her on antibiotics and referred her to an ear nose and throat dr

I'm hoping the antibiotics help as I can't imagine trying to do any type of ultrasound or other imaging on her

I so wish my beloved ear doctor hadn't retired

Lump on her neck? How big is it? There are certainly some strange things that can happen. I knew someone once, in his forty's I am thinking that like overnight he had a three inch lump on his neck. I cannot remember what it was. Hmmm, that should keep me awake for awhile.😯

It's about that size and I'll be trying hard not to let it keep me awake for the next week

It's hard and painful to her

Someone has me wondering if it is from the pressure of the sling using the hoyer lift - good grief

I'm hoping it's somehow related to the flu and the course of antibiotics takes care of it

My best guess would be an infection of some sort. Maybe even a partially enlarged thyroid? Lymph node? I certainly don't think it could be from the Hoyer.

Hi again. Thanks for the kind words, Ali, golden, and Becky. :-)

I went over to best guy friend's after I dropped mom at dialysis. He got me to order some weird piece of electronic gear for him on my Amazon Prime, which I picked up from the courier today, so I took it straight over to him. I wound up staying till nearly 3 and just letting it AAAAAALLLLL out. Which was good. Then I did the shopping and got about an hour's peace before I had to pick mom up.

I figured it would be impossible to get through to tech support during the "after work" hours, and since they're supposed to be 24 hours, I crashed hard (sleep) when home support showed up. Just woke a half hour ago. I'm about to call tech support and see what's up.

I really do need a break. I have this idea, now that my sublet is almost moved out, that I could go home Friday when home support comes, and come back here Sunday evening.  BGF doesn't think it's realistic, given the thing with the lighter, plus I caught her smoking in bed last week. It's not just her at risk from a fire, it's everyone else in the apartment building. (I know she's not in her right mind, but it makes me so MAD that she doesn't care about putting other people at risk!  I bet half the apartment fires in the world are caused by seniors who shouldn't be on their own anymore!) I would just get more home support except mom won't get up to answer the phone or the door (buzzer is through the phone) when she's sleeping, and her sleep pattern is totally unpredictable now.

I dunno what else to do, but I do need to get out of here. I think I have to try, even if it's on a more limited basis than a whole weekend. Like if I go home during the day and come back at night, or something. BGF is going to help me move all my music gear back to my place (3 guitars, a keyboard, a PA, a guitar amp, a suitcase full of cables and mics and miscellanea, and some stands.....half of it's been living in my car for months already, but I can't get it all up the stairs with my injury), so at least I will have the excuse that I have to go practice. Lord knows I can't do it here.

Trying to get my music back into focus, at the very least. I also ordered myself a couple of things that came with the Amazon order - a special clip that attaches your smartphone to your microphone stand (so I can have set lists and "cheat" lyrics, but hands-free and paper-free), a drink holder that also attaches to the mic stand (it's hard to grab your water off the floor when you're holding a guitar....plus I end up kicking it over half the time!), and a windscreen for the mic. I specifically went for performance-based items so that I'll get inspired to book more gigs! I don't want to lose another summer of performing to this caregiving nightmare.  BGF (who's also my bandmate) is currently "tweaking" a couple of my guitars as well....so he's also pushing me in this direction, lol!  (God bless my bandmates for not giving up on me!  Looking after mom has almost killed my passion for music, but those guys are its life support system.) 

I am starting to realize part of my kitten's fighty-bitey problem is pure boredom. He feels he has to be wherever I am, which means he is stuck in the little bedroom or the little office with me, here at mom's. I just can't bring myself to hang out with my mother in the main living area very much anymore. (I feel guilty about it because I know she is lonely, but then sometimes I am a terrible person who thinks she made her own bed by refusing to even TRY to make new friends or stay in contact with her old ones, or at least accept more home support. Why do I have to be her everything?) So anyway, I'll be taking the kitten home with me when I go there.

An old co-worker I haven't seen in a couple of years got in touch with me on text last night. She kept telling me I am an "angel" for looking after my mom. I'm not. I'm really, really, really not. I feel like I'm doing the bare minimum of household management right now, and I haven't got the emotional energy to be a proper companion for mom. I feel so guilty for everything I'm NOT doing, and then I feel guilty when people act like I'm good at this and praise me for it. Argh, what a vicious circle I've gotten myself into!

Ah jeez, mom just got up and is smoking in the living room again. This will go on all night, now that it's started. I will never get any peace from her while I'm here, no matter what time of the day.

Ali, my jaw pops. I usually lay on the couch or on the bed to read or watch tv (sitting causes my hip to hurt). I lay on my left side propping my head up with my arm. I think with my hand right on my jaw, it puts pressure on it which aggravates it. Ice packs are my friend and my first go to remedy, Lol!

We have lived here 7 months now. Yes, our first winter which is different yet mild. Last month was the coldest so far. We had a few lows of 7-9 then it warmed up to lows of 18 and highs of 21. Not much difference between day and night. After it snowed on and before Christmas, it has been between 21-36 at night with some days hitting 45. The snow was slowly melting especially in the backyard. Last week we got rain. I left for work with the front yard completely covered in snow, when I came home it was all melted. It fluctuates from freezing fog and rain to being somewhat pleasant. As long as there is no wind, it isn’t too bad outside. Snow is possible this weekend.

I think I'm living thru "Snowmageddon". Snow, snow and more snow.

I've done two of my three classes. Waiting on PJ to finish his class and going to go to lunch.

Classes are crowded and a bunch of students asking for overage waivers. I told them to wait until Thursday to see if there are dropouts. Both classes seemed like good groups. Class this afternoon is my favorite. A graduate school class on "Counseling Post Secondary Students". I have Caregivers group this afternoon. Busy Day. Pam is having a fair day. Worrying about how she looks since our aunt and cousins are coming.

Ms Madge, My brother had two of those lumps on his neck - large, hard. He had ultrasounds. Both times they were his lymph glands. He took an antibiotic and they went away after a week or two.

Glad to hear that Becky - can't imagine any scenario involving a scalpel being possible now with her

ali - thx for the confirmation. I think the 6 is fine for me.

madge - hope the lump is just a lymph node and the antibiotics clear it up. One thing after another for you and the Viking these days (((hugs)))

dori - glad you let it all out!!! So good to have friends like that. More time in your own place would be good for you and kitty. I am concerned for you in the future when mum needs more care. Do you have a plan?

sharyn - of all things we are supposed to have freezing rain here tomorrow. The snow and ice do complicate life a bit, but you seem to be surviving it well. Wind makes a big difference.

becky - Snowmageddon is about it! I identify with the movie "The Day After Tomorrow". I am sure Pam will look fine to your aunt and cousin. They will be so happy to see her. At the college we were always expected to take the extra students. Once that resulted in a room so crammed with desks some of the students could hardly see the blackboard. My largest class at U of A was 250. That was a lot of marking.

glad - I keep checking the SPCA here for adoptable cats, but there are few and none that grab me. The timing is not good for me either. Enjoy the cuddles with Ming.

"Meh" day here. I was up half the night with allergies and bad sinuses - the new protein shake, I think. It is plant protein and certified gluten and dairy free, but I know I am sensitive to some plants, though none on the label. Another freebie to dd who can handle that stuff . I will have to stick with my egg white protein. Lots of cinnamon helps the flavour.Hoping it is just that and not withdrawal.

Mother got her new hearing aid today. I must say I am very fortunate that she just plugs along without infections and such. Some sturdy that one. Changed plans to go down in February. R figures he will be able to come up before that and get some stuff done in the house, then we can go down together. We are getting there.The last job will be painting the whole interior. Tomorrow I wanted to shop and get air in the tire, as it will be warm, and go downtown to get my remotes looked after, but I will have to see how bad the freezing rain is on the roads. May have to wait a day or so. Seems there is no "in between" this winter. Need a good night's sleep tonight too after last night.

I am happy to announce my transplanted ivy looks good. It has taken me many years to be successful with ivy. I repotted a purple tradescantia which had a root ball that was horrendous. I stuck in some of the branches to fill the pot out and hope they root. (Looked it up afterwards and found out that is what you are supposed to do - lucky guess.) I have one more plant that needs transplanting, but I have just changed its location, so I will give it a while to settle down. My zygocactus is covered with white flowers - beautiful. I think the 6 year old poinsettia bit the dust, finally. I cut it down and placed it in a cool corner, and we will see if it comes back once again. I have a couple of umbrella plants (Schefflera)  and a Sansevieria which look like they want to take over the house. These are my "pets" for now.

Golden, Definitely get the IPhone 6. I do not like the 8 - too much "stuff". U requires us  to take all the extras if it's a class that doesn't have many sections or isn't offered every semester. My grad class is small. My other two are large lecture classes - one with 350 and the other 280. We have computer scoring for multiple choice tests that are allowed for prelims, but not for finals. However, the U has writing intensive classes in the undergrad programs. Don't know how I got so lucky, but both of my classes are writing intensive. I'll be grading papers all semester. I do have a grad assistant which is good.

Pam is so conscious of her looks and it's unnecessary. She looks very attractive. She had long, black hair and since chemo her hair came back in white and it's still very short. On the upside she is well rested and her coughing is fairly well controlled right now. Hope it stays this way for this visit. Pam actually baked a whipping cream pound cake this afternoon. Our aunt's favorite. I was thinking about it earlier, but I never remember going to my grandmother's house, her daughter's or granddaughters homes without them having something baked and I'm that way too. I always bake. Although I'm the only chocolate junkie. I'm going to make a mandarin orange cake that my cousin can have a piece. She has type 1 diabetes and it's one of her own go-to recipes.

Ya golden, I'm not sure. When I went to the doc about my ear on Friday, she was the one who asked me about my plans with/for mom, and suggested I come in and talk about it (she is also my mom's GP now, though she almost never sees her, due to mom being under the renal team's care). I have been thinking that I am going to do that, even just to get her perspective as someone who knows me better than mom's renal team does. (Like, my health issues, my anxiety issues, etc.)

I guess right now I am slowly trying to reclaim my life, even in small ways. Like getting back to my music, planning to spend more time at home....I finally (!!!!) ordered a few new things to wear last night! (I hate shopping malls.) Been shuffling around in the same 4 shirts since I started staying with mom in June. Ugh!!! I'm so sick of them!  I guess I can start going through my clothes when I start spending time at home, but it will be nice to have something new.  I just asked a friend if she could cut my hair also....another thing I haven't done in over a year. It's so long it's getting stuck under my armpits! Lol.

It's funny how I let myself turn right back into the 14-year old who wore baggy clothes and hid from my mother in my room with the headphones on! At least I don't have zits this time around. I gotta get back to being grown up me again.

My aunt and cousins arrived. They spent the afternoon visiting at her apartment. Our DIL stopped by with the baby for her visit. One cousin had no children, other cousin only has sons and grandsons. They were all thrilled with the baby. She was rocked and cuddled for about an hour. I took my aunt and cousins out to dinner and then dropped at their hotel. Jay was sitting with Pam this evening. She was tired from her company. He was going to fix her dinner. My aunt and cousins were surprised at her white hair and how thin she was. I think Pam had been somewhat vague about how sick she is. I was glad Pam didn't go to dinner. She looked worn out. Her nurse agreed. Tomorrow Jay will play chauffeur while I go to work. Cousins were definitely surprised at Jay. I guess they thought he was stilled in college or something.

Yesterday a neighbor’s electrical couch caught fire. Everyone is safe but they lost everything inside due to smoke damage. They are a young couple with a baby.

So hard for that couple, Sharyn. Insurance will cover the lost items. Hard surface items can be cleaned. There will also be coverage for cleaning and painting. After my fire, what was shocking is how smoke can blacken everything. White walls were black.

What is an electrical couch? Maybe there has been a recall? I would also consult with an attorney because damage was cause by a malfunction in merchandise purchased.

Glad, I’m assuming the couch had massage and electrical recline mechanisms. It is sad as the house is new and they just had a baby some weeks ago. Another neighbor created a go fund me account for them and neighbors are volunteering to help with whatever they can when the couple has a chance to access what their needs will be. You are right about insurance and if the couch had a defect.

I had a kitchen fire three years ago in Ohio. Very small, but the smoke was terrible. Insurance company sent a restoration company the same afternoon. They took down draperies to go to dry cleaners, along with bedspreads and comforters. Took clothes out of closets and had everything washed and ironed.  Within a week everything had been painted, carpet cleaned. Only hold up was replacing appliances and kitchen cabinets which had to be ordered. We only paid the $250.00 deductible. It was a very simple process. But it wasn't a total loss fire either.

I hope your neighbors are able to get things settled quickly. I'm sure with a new baby it will be more difficult.

Becky, I really don’t know how much damage was incurred. I read they cannot live in the house at this time. Another person said they lost everything.

Sharyn, That's so sad with the fire. I'm sure they probably had things that were irreplaceable if everything was destroyed. It's good that a GoFundMe page was started.