
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
Becky - I hope this is the end of it. You certainly have been in contact with a lot of dysfunctional people. I think you are wise to reduce your workload to less personally demanding commitments. Sorry to hear about Sue. Being a nurse herself must make it more difficult. This is a tough time for all of you. Take care of yourself -build in some time out. I am sure PJ is a rock and that he is concerned for you.
dori -I know as a performer you are also a techie to a degree. Hope you get the internet issues sorted out so they don't keep coming back. Enjoy your own place this weekend. I am an introvert too and NEED time alone. And congrats on quitting smoking. I know it is not easy.
glad - aren't you glad you don't have contact with people like that through work? You have had your share of disasters in the past few years. I am happy for you life is quieter now. I had few scary student encounters at the college, and all confined to the building. Walking to my car in the evening which sometimes was parked near the homeless men's shelter, and a notorious bar in town was another thing. I was relieved when they expanded the parking lot a few blocks away.
Found an extra charge from Am*z*n on my bank account, I sent an email and got back an almost immediate response, so I called them and we sorted it out - it was a blip. At the same time, the nice lady saw that I had not received an small item some time ago that I thought I had sorted out, but hadn't, so she arranged for a refund. It was very good service. Still waiting for resolution from a seller on our Canadian site. However, on the whole, online ordering works very well for me. I have another grocery order in to W*lm*rt. It helps to reduce the heaving of bulky items into and out of the car, which is a PITA, especially in the cold weather. Found out I cannot open my trunk without the remote being active!!! This is a major fault in my vehicle and in other years of the same model! Other than that I love the car. Guess I have to go downtown and get the remote replaced or find out what they can do for me.
Have a good day - do something good for you.
Becky, your job is not easy. Dealing with people with addiction must take a lot out of you too. Having someone from the center show up at your residence is scary. I hope you get a restraining order.
Hugs out to Pam, she's a strong, brave gal
So glad you two went hot tubing
I think that many folks that end up in psychology or the helper professions (teacher, nurse, psychiatrist, etc) are exposed to more dysfunctional individuals that can trigger events. My father became a psychiatrist in part because he had such a dysfunctional relationship with his parents and was a narcissist. A friend that is an addiction counselor has been stalked, physically threatened, and almost run over. Becky, give yourself a break like you considered. Give yourself a chance to heal esp. with Pam's journey. many folks seem to treat group therapy as their own private audience for their problems to be aired. It's also eerily uncommon for folks to make up caregiver stories to get sympathy....weird.
Hubs took FIL for surgery and now finds out that only part of the paperwork was updated when MIL qualified for Medicaid. Their wills have not been updated. Oh, well, if FIL dies first and busts her Medicaid, hubs and his brother can handle it. The "fixer" is still on hiatus. Husband's aunt never got flowers at Christmas because when I didn't do it, he never got around to it. Ah, well.
Sharyn, odd question for you lol... but did you end up trying the Dr Jart ceramidin cream and/or liquid and if so, how do you like it? I like some of the brand's other products but I need a better moisturizer for my sensitive skin, prone to eczema.
Hey all, hope you're having a great end to the week, and Happy Weekend!!
guest - interesting about your father. Re fil, the dysfunction is in full bloom. I am glad you are not going to step forward, no matter what happens. Aunt got no flowers - oh dear! Keep that line in the sand.
ali - all I use is baby oil, but I know it is not for everyone.
Huge dumps of snow to the south. Hope it will end before R is due to come up.
Went to visit Pam. Very noticeable changes. She was sleeping and did not move. Sue is staying until 10:00. Jay is going for overnight. I'll go back in the morning.
Sorted out more junk and several trips to the town dump. A few people took things off the driveway. PJ also sold a bunch of old Big Wheels mid to late 70's vintage. Remarkably it still looks like we have piles of "stuff". However, the attic is completely empty and has been cleaned thoroughly. Would love to have it ready to put on the market mid-March.
Everyone have a nice evening!
I am home. Home home. Pizza delivered. Cats sprawled.
Peaceful dreams, everyone.
Brother Jay is quite a fellow isn't he?
Hugs to you all
You're in my prayers tonight
You, Jay, PJ and Sue have given Pam a wonderful gift - to be surrounded by love
Thoughts are with you
Hospice was excellent. Jay and I got to be acquainted with some of the families. There was one very large family that was quite memorable. They were there with their mother who was in her 90's. They had people from way northern, rural Maine - pretty backwoods. I've encountered many like them living in Maine so no problem for me. Jay had problems. He didn't understand their accents, the north Maine phrasing exactly. They were a fairly rough bunch. And they didn't understand him at all. Jay owns a business now, but when he was younger he worked as a sports broadcaster for CBS radio in NY and as a catalog model. He graduated from Columbia School of Jounalism. He was a total fish out of water. After Pam passed one of the woman came over and gave him a big hug. She said I've never seen a man as handsome as you and who talks that good, but you were good with your cousin and took care of her. Jay appreciated her so much. Right before I left the pizza/sub shop made a big delivery for the family from Jay. Kids were excited - they had never had pizza from a deli/restaurant.
Your story is very much like my own, and how we all stuck together to care for our parents in their final years through their illnesses until their passing.
I know that you will get through this, and in time will have many good memories of her, and the knowledge that you did your best by her.
Take care of yourself in the coming days, and just love, love on your family! Pam is now in a better place, free from the Cancer and pain. Big Hugs!!! Stacey B
Again thank you for the support and kindness. It means a lot.
Hope you can sleep in late on Sunday and have pancakes for breakfast