The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Hi Joan, father is going down the senile lane. He talks to mom, says he wants to join her, blames all my siblings who were in the house for not saving mom, he's in the poopy stage where he touches and smears it, and he's now blaming me for stealing or giving away his stuff.

How am I? Okay, I guess....I wish I could put him in NH. I'm really really tired of this caregiving stuff. He's gross, stinky, and I...I think I might be getting depress thinking I have more years to go on this.

Because of our past history, I know that pretty soon, he's going to release that anger on me when I least expect it. Will he use the trapeze metal lift to slam the side of my head? Will he punch me in the face as I'm leaning over cleaning his private area? Will he kick me in the face as I pull his pants down when going to change his pamper? His anger is building up and he absolutely believes I'm giving away or hiding or taking his stuff.

Joan, enjoy your trip...maybe one day, money will fall on your lap. Then you can use it for a cruise.

Bookluvr: was your Dad ever in the military? You can apply for some benefits and have a caregiver come in once a week. I'm still looking into it (I got incorrect info last year), so I didn't apply for it. But now, I need to take a serious look!

A very busy morning...I was accepted for the LTC policy I applied for so I had to go to the office this morning and pay for 2 months in advance, starting in June it will be monthly. Went to mom's to finish pruning the roses in the front yard. Then to the grocery store, hubby wants lasagna for dinner and I told him I would make him whatever he wanted today for being so patient and helpful putting the little table together for my mom, so lasagna it is.Picked up some groceries for mom, took them to her apartment, unfortunately, I did not visit with her today due to lack of time and my right knee (don't know what I did) hurts when I walk. or prolonged standing..one thing or another...just getting old I guess, Lol!! Sis gave me the family clock on Saturday...bittersweet due to mom's situation. Those of you who know me, I am a novice photographer...landscapes mostly and macro flowers. I started collecting vintage cameras after my hubby gave me his childhood camera...a Kodak Brownie. I bought 2 more vintage cameras from an antique shop. One is actually a vintage movie camera. I had asked my mother about 3 years ago when I started getting into photography if she had any old cameras, she said she got rid of all the cameras she had. Well on Saturday when sis and I were going thru her things, I found the camera my parents used for many years. I now have my parents camera added to my vintage collection and I found the flash attachment on Esty so I ordered it. Remember vintage does not mean these cameras are or will ever be considered antique or that their value with increase... for me it is about the family connections and the 2 I bought...it is about the look. The clock is a Sessions mantel clock...they are very common because they were priced for the average family to afford. The clock is black, with columns and again, it may never have great value but the sentimental value and family connection is priceless to me. Enough about material possessions.
On Saturday when sis and I went to mom's apartment the second time, sis broke down crying because it really bothers her that mom does not watch tv. She visualizes mom just sitting there staring at the walls...it was the same when mom was in her home. She just can't get her mind around someone not watching tv in the evenings.I reassured her that mom never really sat and watched tv, she was always doing something else like word searches, looking thru catalogs, and just reading anything to do with health and medical. Now mom's thing is moving things, hiding stuff. She said I just want her to be comfortable. I told her, mom has never been comfortable in her own skin unless she is by herself, mom never sat and conversed with us when we all got together at their house, she was always busy in the kitchen or in a bedroom doing something. Remember when we were growing up, she only watch tv with all of us on Sunday nights. She kept herself busy doing other things all evening after working all day. It is who she is and you need to accept this is who she is. When we were driving back to mom's house she talked about the abuse, anger...how do you get over it. She said I know you had counseling, but how do you let go of it. I told her, Karen my counselor, role played with me...she would be mom or dad and she would yell at me,...TELL THEM HOW IT MADE YOU FEEL WHEN THEY SAID YOU WERE WORTHLESS!!! I did this to my sister, and I said again, TELL THEM, TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL!!! I really pushed her and she cried so hard. I wish she could find a counselor like I had, OMG, I would cry and rage and Karen would hold me while I let it all out. Now I can hold myself because I learned I can love me, it not wrong or selfish. Just wanted to share this and how my heart breaks for my sister because she won't let herself feel these feelings. Hugs to all and have a good week!!

Emjo,

Mother is doing better. My sister took her to a post operative appointment, and the doctor said she is doing well. He also told her that he'd removed seven stones, one was very big. No wonder she was in so much pain. Well, at least she's not experiencing the pain either anymore.

She does have to eat differently now. Actually she should have been eating the small meals, and portion sizes a very long time ago. My sister and the caregiver that's there the most have the very traditional mentality when it comes to eating.
My sister isn't at all watchful with her own eating habits. So I know mother in the past years, has been eating too much, and many times that I was quite astonished about, given she did have lots of acid reflux. But they're all about feeling that if one is a bit plump, (body wise) and then that's the measure of good health. The caregiver, couldn't feed mom, w/o it being a huge production, and so many rich carbohydrates! Anyway, so now my sister is talking small meals for mother. Well I just hope they don't go goofing up this part, because now mother is functioning w/o her gallbladder.

My brother does not know how to take care of himself at all. It became a three ring circus that day at the hospital. On top of that, when one talks to him, he makes no sense what so ever.

That day he went into the ER, my sister and I were in the wing where the surgery was performed for mom. Meanwhile, my husband said he would go check in on my brother, who was still in a room in ER. He was hooked up to a drip on account of the dehydration. While my husband was there in the room, a doctor walked in, and said that my brother was going to be released. Immediately after that, my brother started to remove his own drip and started to get off the bed. But the doctor stopped him, saying that a nurse would come in and do this for him. So you see what we are dealing with whenever there's some drama with golden boy? Honestly, I can't be around him for very long.

I'm happy to hear that your mom is, shall we call it behaving? On your end with she adding you to her account, it is good that you'll have the financial advisor overseeing this. Better to be prepared, since you have shared many times that your mother can start with the questions.

You must have a wonderful grandson. He is being his own person. It's great when this happens. At least you know that he wasn't affected by his home environment with respect to his relationship with you.

How great that you will be taking another trip, and seeing flowers!
I'm so ready for some kind of get away, which hasn't happened in quite awhile.
Have a wonderful time, and it will be good for you to re-connect with your friend.
It is very good to hear from Emjo! Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Sharynmarie,

How great is that! You found this camera!
I wish I could find an old Pentax, dad used many years ago, but I'm afraid this disappeared many years ago.

It's rather interesting what different people place value upon, as your sister feeling that your mom is missing out on something since she doesn't have a tv, in her own room? Honestly, for some of the junk that is on tv, I see that as a good thing!
My mom sits in front of the tv, but really we hardly think she pays real attention to any program anymore. It's just become noise. This goes to show you how addicted some people are to the boot tube. But I understand what you are saying about your sister, this is she getting emotional about the situation.

Maybe some day your sister will feel these feelings, and I know you will be there for her if she does. You are a great sister, she's so fortunate to have a someone like you! Congratulations about the LTC. Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Margeaux~For me the value is the family connections. The camera is an Argus super 75 and I remember my parents using that camera for years. I told my sis and many people with dementia can't watch tv because they think it is real and in the same room with them. It just bothers sis that mom may be sitting doing nothing but my mom has never been one to just sit and do nothing. I hope someday will let those feelings out finally. I am applying for FMLA going out on 5/27/13-6/24/13 turning in the papers today at work. Took mom to the dr. today for ear complaints but all is ok, he said the pressure is probably allergy related. Gotta go, take care hugs!!

LEP627 - Yes, I am going to try to get the VA help also. My mom goes in and out of wanting to have someone to come out and help me help her. She wants to get me relief and then she does not. I am thinking I will have to get a tape recorder to re-assure her that is what she said. Her memory is very selective if you know what I mean. LOL
Book- I am sorry for what you are going through. Please know that we are with you all the way. Lots of hugs to you.

I didn't have time to tell you all earlier today but when I took my mom to the dr. this morning, there was an elderly woman in the waiting room. She heard my mom complaining that her ears start to bother her after the med tech gives her the medicine in the morning (not true, this pressure issue has been long standing). The woman introduced herself as Julia, she is 75, lives with her daughter. She was out riding her bicycle about 7 weeks about and was hit by a car trapped under it. No broken bones but a large gash that required stitches. She told my mother, whatever you do, not take any medicine they try to give you because they put stuff in your breakfast to drug you so you sleep all the time that way they don't have to do anything. My mom looked at me saying what did she say? I told the woman my mom is hard of hearing and she doesn't remember things very well (hoping she would understand mom's situation)........but......no!!! She went on about how she would never live in a home because they drug you, I interjected that the only medicine they give her is what Dr. P has prescribed (the dr. office we were in), but ..........no!!!She didn't get the hint!!! Then she said, that is one thing about us (naming her ethnicity), we take care of our own. Getting angry, I said firmly, so do we!! She said but you said she is living in a home....I said, she is living in assisted living, a private apartment, they give her the medicine dr. P wants her to have, she is safe, but I still have responsibilities such as bringing her to dr. P. They could do that for me, but it is my responsibility. She is not in a nursing home, sitting or laying in a bed all day. There is a big difference. She said oh, I would rather live under a bridge. I said well, I could quit my job to take care of her, lose my house...then we both can live under a bridge, does sound about right??? Her eyes got real big and she just said, oh...then the PA called her to come in the exam room. I know this woman went well but she just wasn't getting my hints, wouldn't shut up. I think the next time that happens, I will ask the receptionist if they could bring us into an exam room or something because I don't want to go thru that again. Dr P again reassured my mom today that she is lucky she has daughters to take care of her and to see she well and safe. Hugs to all!!

Hi LEP, when mom passed away in March, we found out that father is a Korean War vet. He never applied as a vet but he does qualify. So mom got entombed in our veteran's cemetery. Father prepaid their caskets long time ago. Since the vets will cover his casket (??), I was told that I can have his casket.

Sharyn and Lavender, thanks for your support and encouragement. I really do appreciate it.

I may not comment much here but I do read...later...

Sharyn...what an experience with "Julia". Was HER daughter with her?
A slight take on her drugging program...a frequent flyer for business trips told me ...If you have three of the following in one day, your company is trying to kill you. Airplane flight over 200 miles or a hotel "banquet/dinner". Why? Because "they" put a small amount of poison in the airline food and an equal amount in those big dinners, (particularly in the string bean almandine). Won't kill the average person but if you have three servings of said meals, you will probably die. So, the company that sends you on a flight over 200 miles, eat one of those banquet type meals and THEN has you fly back home, ...well, you get it.
That old friend became president of the company and still very much alive so I guess his poisoning worries were for naught.
****************************
Will write later. Off to exercise class.
Bonnie

Book,
Check on additional funding for your Dad's care through the VA. He may very well qualify for the home care funds under the A&A.
There are some good articles on this site under legal and such.
Your Dad probably should not be at home. It's just too much for you.
hugs,
B

Bonnie~No her daughter wasn't with her. When I told the woman my mom doesn't remember things well, she just put her hand on mom's knee saying "don't you worry honey, I don't remember things all the time or hear well either." I know she meant well, and she was really a very sweet lady...just in very well informed. Unfortunately, this is how many older people think and where they get these ideas is beyond me. I'm sure it is something passed down thru the family. I think if her daughter was with her, the daughter would have caught on or would have at least whispered to her mother that she shouldn't say these things. The good news is that mom is adjusting and she repeated to me several times, "You know I have Midget with me, she sleeps with me all night!"

Sorry Bonnie, I submitted by accident, the person on the flight....I would not want to work for him/her...a little too paranoid. While in the exam room, mom asked me a question and I lost it, mom noticed and said "what's going on here?" I held up my hand indicating give me a minute, Dr. P caught on, I finally answered my mom, saying this is so hard. He started telling mom how lucky she was to have daughters and with all his older patients, it is the daughters who are taking care of the parents. He put his hand on my shoulder offering his compassion. I am faxing in the papers for the FMLA...I lost it as work too. Sometimes it's just too much.

Sharyn...the fellow I was talking about was of course jesting...he had just flown from Boston to Paris, had a luncheon meeting and flew back to Boston, all in one 24 hours. He was always funny with his observations...this one was his "I think they are trying to kill me with all this travel".

My friend Elaine sure agrees with Julia. she is moving to FL to be with the poor ($$ and health) daughter regardless of how much better off she'd be here living in our senior apartments. Some folks just think their kin "owes it to them". The days when folks lived on the farm (as in Walton's Mountain) and could handle multigenerations under one roof are pretty much gone.
And your doctor is 100% right. It seems to be the daughters or DILs that have the caregiving jobs.
On the way home from exercise class (at our community center) I was thinking about Book and how difficult caring for her father is turning out for her. The assisted care and nursing homes have professional caregivers and they are NOT on duty 24 hours a day. They go home at the end of their shift. In home caregiving has got to be the toughest job on earth.
I've gained a great deal of insight from this wonderful group of people on this site. There are no words to describe how much I admire you for all you do and still feel as if you are not being successful in this constant care giving.
I don't know why some people feel strongly (like Julia) that the only "good place" is with family and all other options are bad.
Believe you me, I have every intention of making sure I have a "place" if and when I need it. That is probably good as I don't have any children of my own and step kids are not likely to be "kin" like Julia wants.

You are doing the very best you can and even then, it's more than most people have to offer.
Have you had children that have left the nest? Did you have empty nest issues? I've been wondering if the separation could be anything like that...again, not experiencing that myself.
This is also one more person reminding all caregivers that you MUST take extra good care of yourself or you aren't any good for anyone else.
Be kind to yourself, too. You are a very loving person, Sharyn and your husband sounds like a doll. Go off and have some fun together!
xo

Bonnie~LOL!! Your friend regarding the flight...I can be literal at times...I still struggle with reading between the lines, thank you for explaining.
My mom's dr.. who is my dr. too, has been great through all this. I must admit, during 2012, I had my issues with him because I and my sis felt he was straddling the fence too much, but it was because we were trying to move too fast in protecting mom and helping her when she wasn't progressed enough for us to be able to use our DPOA's as it was written by the attorney. Once I realized that and once I stopped reacting to my mom as though her combativeness was because of her personality disorder and I started treating everything with her as though it was dementia related, my relationship with my mother changed and so did my relationship with my/mom's dr.
I have thought about the empty nest syndrome as well. Yes, I have two children, a son who is married age 33, a daughter who is married age 28 (4-1/2 years apart). I had a hard time when my children left because my daughter, the first to move so far away (she lives in Idaho) and then my son moved to SoCal. I experience great loss with both moving so far from home. At the same time, I was happy that hubby and I had the house to ourselves again and we were venturing out in different areas, such as I started to develop a hobby in photography, we were spending time together again as a couple. So all was not a loss without children in the house. My mom was diagnosed with dementia in late 2009, so everything continued as it was because mom having a personality disorder, (she was in very early stages of dementia in January of 2010), was just impossible to be around still. So I continued to limit my contact with her. I say she was in very early stages because I recognized what was going on with mom early because my dad had Alzheimer's too and passed in 2003, (this is why I applied for a LTC policy since both parents and 3 of my mom's sibs had it who lived into their 80's). During 2010-2011 mom's personality disorder still caused much drama and turmoil in our lives and you don't know how many times I wanted to resign my duties to my mother on her DPOA because of it.In 2012, mom started a kitchen fire by melting Vicks Vapor Rub in a pan on the stove because she was congested. She was able to put the fire out quickly with limited damage to the range vent. I continue to watch her from a distance because she was still very combative and troublesome within the family. In Oct. of 2012, hubby and I went to Idaho to visit our daughter, every time I went somewhere for a week, mom would go off the deep end giving my sister hell, about how I was abandoning her. I kept in touch with mom during week, and on Friday, the day before hubby and I were coming home, I called mom. She said she was not feeling well, had fallen twice, was dizzy,etc. So I called my sis immediately...she of course was not happy because mom didn't say a word to her about this. Mom is closer to me. Sis drove the 45 min. to mom's, and stayed the night with her. Mom had fallen, cut her nose and her toes with the fall. Sis got mom some food and water (mom refused to use A/C) sis said she was fine on Saturday and we figured mom was probably dehydrated. After that, I became more vigilant with mom so my attachment started to develop again as I realized she needed more help than she was letting on. I know this is another long winded post, but I wanted to share this with you to explain that what I am feeling with my mom is different than empty nest syndrome...it's an overall loss of my family of origin because my eldest brother, by his choice, is estranged from all of us because of the abuse, my second eldest brother has health issues plus dealing with his step son;s cancer, my sister, the third eldest, has health issues and emotional trauma from our childhood and 2 abusive marriages plus issues from a 15 year relationship with a man who ended up being a paranoid schizophrenic.Sis's choices in men has not been the best. My second eldest brother and me take after our father in personality, we are emotional, more tender hearted and we are the 2 that mom made her as her surrogate spouse...meaning we protected mom against dad without realizing mom was the problem not dad. I have had therapy to help me with this, my brother has not. I suspect my eldest brother has the personality disorder like mom and is most likely an alcoholic like dad. My sis is 5 years sober. Her health has suffered as a result...a type 2 diabetic, undiagnosed for at least 10 years so she is considered stage 4 of 5 stages. I, being the youngest of 4 has suffered severe depression, I have difficulties with relationships outside the family because I don't read other people right and am too trusting then I get hurt easily. I have had trouble with maintaining jobs due to low self-esteem and not being able to read people well. This is why I love my husband so much because I don't think anyone else would have put up with my issues and I have grown so much with his support even though we have had our personal issues in our marriage. I am grieving the loss of my childhood, my relationships with my siblings, a relationship with my father that my mother denied me by making my father out to be such a bad person. She emasculated my dad and I understand why he became an alcoholic... it was the only way he could cope living with her. He was from N. Ireland...divorce was/is not option for people from the "old country." I am sorry I have posted such a barrage of info, but I thank you for letting me get this out. I hope you understand. It has been therapy for me. Hugs to you dear cyber friend!!

My brothers step son bust passed. Prayers for my brother.ail and family please.

Sharyn, my condolences on your stepnephew. I will pray for them. HUGS...Book

Bookluvr,

I'm really sorry to hear about how your father is declining. Do you think that the Veteran's have some assistance for someone in your situation? I would not like at all to think, that his senility could cause any harm towards you. My thoughts are with you, Book. Much Love & Light, Margeaux

Sharynmarie,

I offer you my condolences on the passing of your nephew.
May his spirit soar very high! You are in my thoughts! Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Thank you Book and Margeaux! He passed at 2100 hours last night with his loved ones surrounding him with love. He battled hard and courageously against cancer for 8 years, he was only 37 years old. May he rest in peace and I pray for strength and healing for my brother's family, the young man's wife and my sil who will have a long road ahead of grieving the loss of her son.

Please express our sympathies to your nephew's family, including his young wife. Did he have children? How very difficult for all connected to such a young man fighting a killing and mean disease.
Bonnie

Sharyn, so many losses in your family right now.
Thanks for explaining further the circumstances of your family dynamics. You have done a remarkable job holding all these pieces together. I'm real proud of you for your work in this area. Blessings to your husband, too. He is lucky to have such a wonderful wife and children.
Seems like whenever we learn of a death we want to hold our own loved ones closer. Maybe it is the natural instinct to protect those we love?
Could it be with dementia taking over friends and family members that we just so want to cherish the idea of just one more day without that disease?
Or as they say...If only I had known...
Was your mother connected at all with this step-grandchild? Do they live near you all?
Will you be able to participate in the funeral/memorial services? Maybe sis and Mom, too? Family healing can help.
warm hugs to you,
Bonnie

Bonnie~Thank you!! I have only met "C" a few times over the years. When my brother married "D", because of our family dynamics with our parents, he kept this marriage separate from us. It was his second marriage and her third. My mother always acknowledged "D" children's birthday's and at Christmas but she really has no relationship with them as the rest of us don't either. "C" got married a few years ago, he had already undergone chemo/surgery twice. There are no children involved. We will be there at the service, don't have any info on it yet. I suspect a lot of people will be there because his former co-workers donated their vacation time to him so he could have time off for his treatments/surgery. He retired on a disability in 2010 when he was told there was nothing more they could do for him. (He continued to have chemo, several types until February) I don't know if taking mom would be a good idea, she doesn't remember him any longer, she knows I am a relative but does not always realize I am her daughter. Losing a child is heartbreaking for the parents, his father passed from the same type of cancer in 2011. My sil has been really struggling with this because "C" was the child she had to protect more than the other 3 because he was picked on all thru school. It really doesn't matter that she had to protect him more...losing a child is devastating, but she is a very positive person and I pray she comes thru this with peace. I have not met "C"'s wife.Thank you again, it is a lot of loss. Warm hugs to you as well.
Sharyn

Again, you are such a warm and caring person, Sharyn. Wish you lived next door! We'd be super good friends.

Recognizing that no family is without the issues of loss or fear or stress or complex dynamics means we just have to cope the best we can, every single day (and night). . Perfect or not. (what is perfect???)
What I love about this site is the ability to find friends that are supportive and encouraging with the issues all are facing. Maybe a good suggestion or two,

Compassion...grace...faith ...peace...
These are the feelings I have that I wish I could pass on to all who are suffering the agony of the eternal burden of this feeling of not being able to be the person someone wants you to be. Remember, the worst critic is yourself. You judge yourself far more than any other can possibility have influence to the depth that you are experiencing. This is the challenge...forgive yourself for your own shortcomings and don't argue any more. Say "you're right. I'm selfish. I'm self centered, I'm a worthless daughter and whatever you want to dump on me...I accept your need to dump. Knowing full well you are able to say all of that dumping stuff was just BS and you are freeing yourself from arguing about how bad one or others are.
Just get yourself free of the guilt, demands, criticisms and all those self imposed judgments. God will embrace you as you are.. and say Amen!
hugs from your cyber friend,
Bonnie

Ecclesiastes 3
King James Version (KJV)
3 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?

10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.

11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

12 I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.

13 And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.

14 I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him.

15 That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath already been; and God requireth that which is past.

16 And moreover I saw under the sun the place of judgment, that wickedness was there; and the place of righteousness, that iniquity was there.

17 I said in mine heart, God shall judge the righteous and the wicked: for there is a time there for every purpose and for every work.

18 I said in mine heart concerning the estate of the sons of men, that God might manifest them, and that they might see that they themselves are beasts.

19 For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast: for all is vanity.

20 All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again.

21 Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth?

22 Wherefore I perceive that there is nothing better, than that a man should rejoice in his own works; for that is his portion: for who shall bring him to see what shall be after him?

Amen

Sharynmarie,

Your family history, oh it reminds me so much of what mom did with regards to our dad. The very same thing. This has got to be at the top of the list in terms of what a narcissist does to their children. Shame on them.

At least some of us realize it, to help us figure it out. My heart's with you!
Much Love & there is Light! Maregeaux

Oops! I spelled my name incorrectly! Margeaux

Currently, what Sharynmarie wrote, and a controlling parent, (mom's) is really playing out in our family. My brother worked his very last day just a week ago. My sister called me to say that our narcissistic SIL texted her. SIl said something to the effect that my brother was driving her crazy. This of course we are sure has to do w/my brother's having to adjust now, not having his job of 29 yrs, at his company. It appears according to my sister, that he, poor guy is feeling it emotionally speaking. Mind you, the brother that keeps the emotions to himself.
So now via the text his wife is complaining. My sister replied to her, "He's going through a lot. Then this witch replied back, "So am I." So we can tell that given this attitude, she's probably not being supportive.

He's been a steady bring the bacon home kind of guy, and good husband. All she ever does is make disparaging remarks about him to we the family. So I've told my sister that it's time we put a stop to this. I'm going to mom's tomorrow, since my sister is going to brunch for Mother's Day w/her daughters. My brothers will stop by, and I'm going to be so ready in case my brother brings his mouthy wife.
I've been thinking and meditating about this today. Margeaux